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••• Granny Crumpet •••

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By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden

Does anyone know what Granny Crumpet looks like? If any of you gentle folk know then I envy you.

I always imagine Granny as ØZ (from the Wizard Of Oz), obscured and cloaked behind a makeshift cubicle, tirelessly pulling and pushing the Fab levers and multicoloured buttons and switches, AMPLIFYING her soft sweet, and yet formidable voice through a rusty megaphone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some say shes the stigs mum and goes shopping in a crash helmet every thursday in home and bargains followed by THE asda

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met Granny Crumpet once.

She was surprisingly down to earth and VERY funny.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

You know Hilda Ogden?

She looks nothing like that.

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

Such a funny lady, I would imagine she's as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I imagine Granny to be the spitting image of Stephanie Beecham.

…..and I’m off for a wank now….

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Mrs Merton once asked Debbie Magee 'What attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels'?

The question was originally about Granny Crumpet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I met Granny Crumpet once.

She was surprisingly down to earth and VERY furry."

I hear she has a lovely little Chihuahua.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve got a life sized nudey poster of her on my office wall.

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

I heard she’s the spitting image of Salma Hayek in dusk till dawn

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By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"I heard she’s the spitting image of Salma Hayek in dusk till dawn "

•

Is that before the 'table dance' scene or after?

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

Remember that poster with the female tennis player showing her arse? We’ll who do you think that was?

Gbat

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus


"I heard she’s the spitting image of Salma Hayek in dusk till dawn

•

Is that before the 'table dance' scene or after? "

Before, I’m not that mean

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Remember that poster with the female tennis player showing her arse? We’ll who do you think that was?

Gbat "

Granny crumpets daughter? Omg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some say that when shes annoyed she grabs hold of essex tom and princess peach and they transform into a giant mega zord

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm always very curious!

I imagine she's a bit like Meryl Streep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually picture her as jimmy tarbucks daughter

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus


"I'm always very curious!

I imagine she's a bit like Meryl Streep. "

Or Helen Mirren

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm always very curious!

I imagine she's a bit like Meryl Streep. "

She's a Streep tease.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember 2 profile pics she had.

One with an eye and another with part face and hair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember 2 profile pics she had.

One with an eye and another with part face and hair. "

Interesting. So we know she has hair, part of a face and at least one eye.

You can't hide forever, Granny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember 2 profile pics she had.

One with an eye and another with part face and hair.

Interesting. So we know she has hair, part of a face and at least one eye.

You can't hide forever, Granny."

Did the person you met have those things?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember 2 profile pics she had.

One with an eye and another with part face and hair.

Interesting. So we know she has hair, part of a face and at least one eye.

You can't hide forever, Granny."

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you're looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money... but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you share a picture of your face now, that will be the end of it - I will not look for you, I will not pursue you... but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you... and I will take a picture of you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only thing I do know about her is she wears thick brown/tan support tights and she likes em ripped open at the gusset for sex

Her carer is getting fed up of the reinforced gusset ones

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

You remember Nora Batty?

Not that apparently.

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

The first rule of Granny Crumpet club is………

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I picture her like aunt bessie. Holding a rolling pin wearing high heels and sexy red lingerie. But I'm a bit twisted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember 2 profile pics she had.

One with an eye and another with part face and hair.

Interesting. So we know she has hair, part of a face and at least one eye.

You can't hide forever, Granny.

Did the person you met have those things? "

They did. The mask is slipping.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember 2 profile pics she had.

One with an eye and another with part face and hair.

Interesting. So we know she has hair, part of a face and at least one eye.

You can't hide forever, Granny.

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you're looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money... but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you share a picture of your face now, that will be the end of it - I will not look for you, I will not pursue you... but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you... and I will take a picture of you. "

I best not be on the loo.

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By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"The first rule of Granny Crumpet club is………"

°

...take a ticket and form a disorderly queue?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Marina from last of the summer wine

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"I remember 2 profile pics she had.

One with an eye and another with part face and hair.

Interesting. So we know she has hair, part of a face and at least one eye.

You can't hide forever, Granny."

We only know that - at that time - she purported to have some hair, part of a face and an eye. Or had had her account hacked, like so many blokes here seem to have suffered likewise, hence being on their several thousandth profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember 2 profile pics she had.

One with an eye and another with part face and hair.

Interesting. So we know she has hair, part of a face and at least one eye.

You can't hide forever, Granny.

We only know that - at that time - she purported to have some hair, part of a face and an eye. Or had had her account hacked, like so many blokes here seem to have suffered likewise, hence being on their several thousandth profile. "

I feel seen

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Surely you all know she is a he?

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

I'm guessing at something like Mrs Merton

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I really like Granny - she has a fabulous sense of humour, her wit is razor sharp and she gets her point across without being facetious or aggressive

yay for Granny!

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By *icelymarkedplusoneCouple
over a year ago

cardiff

I went to school with her

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

When ever I read one of Granny’s posts I have a mental image of Claire Raynor.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Marina from last of the summer wine"

Not Nora Batty?!

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I met Granny Crumpet once.

She was surprisingly down to earth and VERY funny."

This doesn't surprise me at all.

I'd like to meet Granny

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I remember 2 profile pics she had.

One with an eye and another with part face and hair.

Interesting. So we know she has hair, part of a face and at least one eye.

You can't hide forever, Granny.

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you're looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money... but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you share a picture of your face now, that will be the end of it - I will not look for you, I will not pursue you... but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you... and I will take a picture of you. "

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By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"I met Granny Crumpet once.

She was surprisingly down to earth and VERY funny.

This doesn't surprise me at all.

I'd like to meet Granny "

•

They should do a televised "An Audience With..." for Granny.

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

I imagine her to be a cross between Patsy Stone and Bet Lynch, maybe a touch of Babs thrown in for good measure.

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"I imagine her to be a cross between Patsy Stone and Bet Lynch, maybe a touch of Babs thrown in for good measure. "

Get outta my pub!!!!

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By *traddle VariousWoman
over a year ago

Salford

Met her at private parties more than once.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Met her at private parties more than once. "

Granny is in the Clique?!

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Met her at private parties more than once.

Granny is in the Clique?! "

Granny *is* the clique

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Met her at private parties more than once.

Granny is in the Clique?!

Granny *is* the clique "

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By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"Met her at private parties more than once.

Granny is in the Clique?!

Granny wears Clinique!

"

•

That's a lot of make up!

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"Met her at private parties more than once.

Granny is in the Clique?!

Granny wears Clinique!

•

That's a lot of make up!"

Granny is the team leader lol

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By *traddle VariousWoman
over a year ago

Salford

Come out come out Granny C - look who's here!

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I’ve seen her cum face

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By *traddle VariousWoman
over a year ago

Salford


"I’ve seen her cum face "

Granny doesnt cum. she arrives.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Rex! Welcome back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Come out come out Granny C - look who's here!"

Who?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I’ve seen her cum face "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rex! Welcome back."

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

Yes, I have met Gran!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I met her many years ago

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By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden

Is this thread's resurrection coinciding with the resurrection of Jesus Christ † ...?

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Is this thread's resurrection coinciding with the resurrection of Jesus Christ † ...? "

Have you ever seen them in the same room at the same time

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By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden

I once saw Grånny pop her head in the Nocturnal Thread**. It felt like the birth of a divinity!

**Which reminds me!.....

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