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By *outhwesthorn OP   Man
over a year ago

thornbury

So I'm seeing a girl outside of here we have a great time together and she's gorgeous. But our sexlife is poor and bjs are very rare.

I try really hard but I don't get reactions from her as I have with others. Do I ditch her cause sex is a massive part of my life or stay on here to have sexual fun and keep her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If sex is such massive part of your life, that you are now lacking and seeking elsewhere, cheating behind her back. Then do the right thing and end it. It’s not fair on her and you can both move on and find what you are looking for…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her you are on here and then she will decide what's going to happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know this may sound obvious but have you talked to her about it? Mate have that conversation before it gets too far down the road and it becomes an impossible conversation to have

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster


"So I'm seeing a girl outside of here we have a great time together and she's gorgeous. But our sexlife is poor and bjs are very rare.

I try really hard but I don't get reactions from her as I have with others. Do I ditch her cause sex is a massive part of my life or stay on here to have sexual fun and keep her "

Firstly, is she aware you are on here? If not, consider how she would feel if she found out.

Secondly, only you can decide what the priorities are in your relationship.

Thirdly, the "having your cake and eating it" is probably not the best solution to a LTR, especially if she is unaware of this side of you.

Think you have some soul searching to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like sacking someone for being poor at their job in which they never received training/guidance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You dating my ex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you talked to her?

Have you tried to understand and helped her understand your needs?

Easy option is keep both avenues going and hope she doesn’t find out.

If you go for the easy option, hope that her internet sleuthing skills aren’t as good as mine.

I have a truck load of real life going on; parental bereavement, life changing illness for my closest and dearest family member, busy as heck job, crazy amount of self doubt and probable peri-menopause. This has unfortunately impacted on my libido.

My genuinely lovely and wonderful husband took solace in Fab fucks rather than talking to me. I caught him out. I cannot begin to describe the pain this has caused.

Speak kindly with her, be honest and find a path through. I wish you well OP.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

'keep her'?

You're not compatible,break it off then you can both find partners who suit you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you talked to her?

Have you tried to understand and helped her understand your needs?

Easy option is keep both avenues going and hope she doesn’t find out.

If you go for the easy option, hope that her internet sleuthing skills aren’t as good as mine.

I have a truck load of real life going on; parental bereavement, life changing illness for my closest and dearest family member, busy as heck job, crazy amount of self doubt and probable peri-menopause. This has unfortunately impacted on my libido.

My genuinely lovely and wonderful husband took solace in Fab fucks rather than talking to me. I caught him out. I cannot begin to describe the pain this has caused.

Speak kindly with her, be honest and find a path through. I wish you well OP. "

Similar happened to me, when I was married. I couldn’t get my head around it. Still can’t. He never mentioned being unhappy, even when asked. He resisted all efforts to add variety to our sex life. I’m glad it ended with him, I’ve had a lot of fun since then

But it’s always made me question myself…

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By *8v3nCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Try talking to her. Introduce her to fabs. Watch porn together. See if it changes anything over some time. If still after some time she goes "yuck" on all the things you like, then you will have a decision to make. Do you have such strong feels that they are more important than sex etc. (I can guarantee that you will slip in due time anyway) or your "search for partner continues..."

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

How long have you been seeing this lady op?

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Ditch her

Life’s too short for bad coffee or bad sex

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

Give her the opportunity to meet someone who makes her feel excited again! Don’t keep her hanging on while you get your fill elsewhere.

Do the right thing.

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By *yramid2022Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Out mate

She ticks *some* boxes for you but sex is a major box and you're not compatible. You'll cause a lot of pain if you let it continue.

In the best possible way, you know you're not compatible but you're considering staying anyway - sounds like you have done work to do.

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By *yramid2022Man
over a year ago

Bristol


"Out mate

She ticks *some* boxes for you but sex is a major box and you're not compatible. You'll cause a lot of pain if you let it continue.

In the best possible way, you know you're not compatible but you're considering staying anyway - sounds like you have done work to do."

*some not done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ditch her

Life’s too short for bad coffee or bad sex "

I trust that if you ever find yourself with a partner who you value higher than a caffeinated beverage that she is less flippant than your response to the post was.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

End it op,she deserves better than being cheated on.

Have you spoken to her & tried to advise what you want etc

You're obviously not happy or you wouldn't be sneaking around on here.

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington


"So I'm seeing a girl outside of here we have a great time together and she's gorgeous. But our sexlife is poor and bjs are very rare.

I try really hard but I don't get reactions from her as I have with others. Do I ditch her cause sex is a massive part of my life or stay on here to have sexual fun and keep her "

How about just talking and communicating with her rather than asking here?

To be honest, if you're prepared to just ditch her rather than discussing it with her it's already over. Let the poor lady move onto someone who will treat her better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get rid of her because if the sex is shit an bjs are rear you’ll end up cheating on her an you’ll both feel like shit

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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago

Wombwell, Barnsley


"So I'm seeing a girl outside of here we have a great time together and she's gorgeous. But our sexlife is poor and bjs are very rare.

I try really hard but I don't get reactions from her as I have with others. Do I ditch her cause sex is a massive part of my life or stay on here to have sexual fun and keep her "

So you have a trophy girlfriend who doesn't satisfy you sexually and are considering keeping her and carrying on your sexual fun on here. Doesn't she have any say in this?

Seems doomed either way, and a lot of people don't like a cheater.

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By *aughtynottsCouple
over a year ago

Outside Nottingham


"If sex is such massive part of your life, that you are now lacking and seeking elsewhere, cheating behind her back. Then do the right thing and end it. It’s not fair on her and you can both move on and find what you are looking for…"

Couldn’t of said it better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I'm seeing a girl outside of here we have a great time together and she's gorgeous. But our sexlife is poor and bjs are very rare.

I try really hard but I don't get reactions from her as I have with others. Do I ditch her cause sex is a massive part of my life or stay on here to have sexual fun and keep her "

Im going to try to be kind OP. There is more to a relationship than sex so i think you should be grateful you have someone who loves you. Being on here cheating is a big no but thats for your morals to solve. I have been single years and would love a girlfriend to be with. Singles like us have to go years without a sex life. If you cant be happy with someone who loves you because all you want is sex then finish her and let her find aman who will love her and you find someone else who like yourself thinks everything is about sex.i dont mean to sound nasty but these things really annoy me. Make your choice.

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By *ad boy maverickMan
over a year ago

basildon


"I know this may sound obvious but have you talked to her about it? Mate have that conversation before it gets too far down the road and it becomes an impossible conversation to have "

AGREED with above definitely talk it through but not in an arsey way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe its the tool is has to work with? I'm sure her bj skills are top notch...ask 1 of your friends lol

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle


"So I'm seeing a girl outside of here we have a great time together and she's gorgeous. But our sexlife is poor and bjs are very rare.

I try really hard but I don't get reactions from her as I have with others. Do I ditch her cause sex is a massive part of my life or stay on here to have sexual fun and keep her

Im going to try to be kind OP. There is more to a relationship than sex so i think you should be grateful you have someone who loves you. Being on here cheating is a big no but thats for your morals to solve. I have been single years and would love a girlfriend to be with. Singles like us have to go years without a sex life. If you cant be happy with someone who loves you because all you want is sex then finish her and let her find aman who will love her and you find someone else who like yourself thinks everything is about sex.i dont mean to sound nasty but these things really annoy me. Make your choice. "

Totally agree

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London


"Have you talked to her?

Have you tried to understand and helped her understand your needs?

Easy option is keep both avenues going and hope she doesn’t find out.

If you go for the easy option, hope that her internet sleuthing skills aren’t as good as mine.

I have a truck load of real life going on; parental bereavement, life changing illness for my closest and dearest family member, busy as heck job, crazy amount of self doubt and probable peri-menopause. This has unfortunately impacted on my libido.

My genuinely lovely and wonderful husband took solace in Fab fucks rather than talking to me. I caught him out. I cannot begin to describe the pain this has caused.

Speak kindly with her, be honest and find a path through. I wish you well OP.

Similar happened to me, when I was married. I couldn’t get my head around it. Still can’t. He never mentioned being unhappy, even when asked. He resisted all efforts to add variety to our sex life. I’m glad it ended with him, I’ve had a lot of fun since then

But it’s always made me question myself…"

Blimey, what an idiot!

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

Have some balls and finish it. You clearly don’t have feelings for her if you are on here and talking about it instead of talking to her.

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By *outhwesthorn OP   Man
over a year ago

thornbury

Thank you all so much for your input. I'm going to finish with her she deserves far better than me it's not fair on her. I hope nobody feels bad of me as I would still like to be welcomed on here thanks again

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"Thank you all so much for your input. I'm going to finish with her she deserves far better than me it's not fair on her. I hope nobody feels bad of me as I would still like to be welcomed on here thanks again"

It's nothing to do with her deserving much better than you. It's deserving to be happy with the right person, both of you, Deserving the chance to find the right person. Not being the right person dosnt mean your not good enough.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thank you all so much for your input. I'm going to finish with her she deserves far better than me it's not fair on her. I hope nobody feels bad of me as I would still like to be welcomed on here thanks again

It's nothing to do with her deserving much better than you. It's deserving to be happy with the right person, both of you, Deserving the chance to find the right person. Not being the right person dosnt mean your not good enough. "

well said!

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