FabSwingers.com forum: Dirty Trick Let Down Guy

By *riendly_Mancs_Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Worksop (visiting)

We know there's nothing we can do about it now but just thought we'd let off some steam here...

For months the wife & I had been planning a MFM with 2 other guys off here. Being new to this we spent ages choosing the guys. We must of exchanged 50 messages between both guys. Before we choose the 2 guys I messaged them a few days before saying we were travelling 60 miles to come to their town. I told them we were booking a Hotel. I sent a message to about 20 guys saying "Hi guys. Sorry but we only want 2 guys for this fun. Therefore, sorry if we can't meet you on this occasion. If you are still interested and can DEFINITELY make Saturday at 7pm then please reply. Please don't reply if you can't make this exact time and date. We received about 12 messages back from guys who could meet us. Unfortunately we had to turn down 10 guys in favour of the 2 we choose. We then messaged the 2 guys to tell them that we had chosen them and if at any time they couldn't make it to let us know. They both agreed. Saturday lunch and they both agreed that all was well. We went out etc and returned for us to get changed etc. I then messaged them both at 6pm to check all was ok for 7pm. One guy replied ok. The other guy decided not to reply until 6:30pm with a ridiculous excuse. He has since apologised with a Bull***t excuse as to why he couldn't make it and offered that next time things will be different.

Has anybody else encountered such an idiot after planning some fun/travelling etc?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has anybody else encountered such an idiot after planning some fun/travelling etc? "

Yes. Try arranging a gangbang.

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

Yes we had this with a couple we were going to do a 100 mile round trip from where we were staying to go meet them then on the day of the meet they cut all contact with us. We just went to a club in the end and now we only meet in clubs so as not to be let down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It seems all to common I'm afraid.

A couple of months ago I booked and paid for a hotel room to host four guys. I'd met three of them previously one on one, but they all cancelled in the end after agreeing date and time (though at least they all gave me some notice).

Not wanting to shell out money this time, I looked for two guys to join my swing partner and myself at home last Friday. One cancelled with a few hours notice, the other was a no show.

Getting a bit jaded about it all to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All too often you read in the forums about people pulling out at the last minute (no pun intended)

Sometimes it can't be helped but other times it is frustrating to be led on and on then they don't appear and you are in your hotel room ready waiting and primed.

Could be worse though ... they could turn up, say they are getting the wine out of the car and the next you know is their tail-lights disappearing over the horizon!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry you have had a bad experience especially when it was your first time as someone who isn't massively experienced in this I know what you went through with the nerves etc... I do have to say I met a fantastic couple who were very friendly and it was an amazing experience. I am sure this will be a one off and you will meet some superb friends on here, go with recommendations on peoples profiles... Good luck! Don't let it knock you back... Their loss as it is quite hard to meet couples looking for just a single male so they were lucky to be even considered...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has anybody else encountered such an idiot after planning some fun/travelling etc?

Yes. Try arranging a gangbang.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You would have been better sticking with the original number or whittling it down to say 4 men that way you might have got two turn up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We know there's nothing we can do about it now but just thought we'd let off some steam here...

Has anybody else encountered such an idiot after planning some fun/travelling etc? "

Dosent help the single guys at all!!

Sorry you got messed about, I don't understand why people do this

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Yep, been on the receiving end ourselves. Never nice and there's not much you could really have done differently

Report as a no show, block and move on to the next experience x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry you got messed about, I don't understand why people do this"

Some people genuinely do let nerves get the better of them and get cold feet.

Others do it as they enjoy the thrill of the chase as it were.

And others really have no intention of going through with it but are wanking at the thought whenever you talk to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not all guys are comfortable being 'chosen'

I think we tend to forget at times that being on a swingers site does not a swinger make.

Many men may feel that they could cope in a group situation, but if pre-planned with military precision, the closer to D-Day it gets, the more likely they are to go AWOL.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Not had this experience with any single guys before but I don know a couple of (experienced) party hosts who always invite 30 to 50% more so that on the night there are enough single men available.

I think Laine is right in that some people really WANT to meet but do get cold feet just before. The other thing I want to add is that that the effort you put into arranging a meet (and it sounds like you really put a lot of effort and planning into it) is often not appreciated and reciprocated by other people. Just what it is....Not necessarily malice, just sometimes a lack of appreciation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people genuinely do let nerves get the better of them and get cold feet.

Others do it as they enjoy the thrill of the chase as it were.

And others really have no intention of going through with it but are wanking at the thought whenever you talk to them.

I get the part about nerves, and the thrill of the chase but the just letting down for kicks ,,,, I just don't get it?

For me the nerves and chase etc are part of the fun but without the actual meet its just an empty excersize

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By *riendly_Mancs_Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Worksop (visiting)

You know what?....

If he'd of been truthful and said he couldn't go through with it that'd of been fine.

Or...

If 2 hours before he would of said there were 'Possible problems' we could of readjusted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sure the guys that didn't get picked are more annoyed at the guy because he'd effectively taken the spot that they wanted....and then not even used the opportunity!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can honestly say in all the years I've been meeting I've never not turned up, guys like this give all the single blokes a bad rep, but I'm sure there's many single blokes who've been messed about by couples or single ladies, I can't see what else you could've done , you can bet if you'd arranged to meet more than 2 to cover a no show ,they'd all have turned up lol.......that's called sod's law !

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"You know what?....

If he'd of been truthful and said he couldn't go through with it that'd of been fine.

Or...

If 2 hours before he would of said there were 'Possible problems' we could of readjusted."
I get that totally!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You know what?....

If he'd of been truthful and said he couldn't go through with it that'd of been fine.

Or...

If 2 hours before he would of said there were 'Possible problems' we could of readjusted."

So did the other guy turn up and the evening go ahead -1 or was the evening cancelled ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes we had this with a couple we were going to do a 100 mile round trip from where we were staying to go meet them then on the day of the meet they cut all contact with us. We just went to a club in the end and now we only meet in clubs so as not to be let down.

good idea having the back up plan!

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By *riendly_Mancs_Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Worksop (visiting)

Heydude26

You are right! I've had messages from the guys who we had to let down. Some of the comments they made about the idiot who Mugged us were not very nice at all.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

did the guy that say he could come, come?

did you not have any fun with him?

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By *riendly_Mancs_Couple OP Couple
over a year ago

Worksop (visiting)

The other guy turned up and was a gent.

As for the backup plan...We were just too trusting. Thanks all for the advice and next time we will have that plan in place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has anybody else encountered such an idiot after planning some fun/travelling etc?

Yes. Try arranging a gangbang.

Maybe contact a recognised gang bang group. I'm sure they would be happy for 2 of their numbers to attend. I used to organise gang bangs and at the first I had 10 men coming (pardon the pun) as I was always told that most won't show. NINE appeared but the lady didn't mind a bit and loved it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

................ and sometimes their wife has other plans for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had three last minute cancellations and one no show. It's frustrating so I tend to meet at a club most the time so I will still get some action even if I'm let down.

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

Shit happens! It's not fun when it does, but what can you do?

A: Make sure if you're going to be travelling and staying away you've got alternative plans available. Could be vanilla.

B: don't make plans so far from home.

C: meet at home.

D: join a club

E: realise sometimes even the best laid plans can go tits up.

F: fuck them! Their loss!

G: get them to book the hotel.

H: .........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like you did all you could in advance!

Sadly these things can happen.

Don't let one bad experience put you off though!

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've read a few threads on here where people come on and say I've never been let down because I choose carefully as if it's your own fault if you have been let down.

I have been let down loads of times now by guys that I have spoken to for days, weeks and sometimes even months :S

I've even been let down by guys we've met before

We are getting to the point now that we are seriously thinking that clubs and socials are the only way to go to make sure we aren't wasting our precious free time and money. It is a sad state of affairs when all we want is some nsa fun

L xx

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

The travel to someone/where new is part of the excitement I find. Clubs are never as private as you need sometimes and they dont always have the guys you fancy.. you cant expect them to book the hotel if its your meet either. Have a back up plan if poss but just take it easy and meet at home if you can.

Everyone gets scuppered at some point though it'll sort itself out some time, im sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i always have a back up plan + 3

as getting time to myself isnt easy..

but what gets me is i agree to meet a guy who has been askign for ages to meet.. and so finally i say to them yes and they let me down :/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been there, done it and got the t shirts from single females and couples, just goes with the territory I'm afraid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We know there's nothing we can do about it now but just thought we'd let off some steam here...

Has anybody else encountered such an idiot after planning some fun/travelling etc? "

See you're probably choosing the wrong people and you don't have to travel so many miles to find the right people to do whatever you were after that's not always the case but anyways better luck next time

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I've read a few threads on here where people come on and say I've never been let down because I choose carefully as if it's your own fault if you have been let down.

L xx"

I have been fortunate with not being let down and I dont meet that often either. I quite gree with you that it is not necessarily the arranger's fault for not having planned or chosen wisely. And especially in this case it really did sound as if they checked every step of the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We know there's nothing we can do about it now but just thought we'd let off some steam here...

Has anybody else encountered such an idiot after planning some fun/travelling etc? "
There are two ways of looking at this: one would be to simply say that they were timewasters who were never going to turn up anyway and you got conned. If that IS the case, then -sorry to say this but - lesson learned.

The other, and what comes over to me from your post, OP, is if I was one of the 'chosen two', by 6pm on Saturday I would have been feeling under a LOT of pressure:- 'You ARE going to be here?', 'Don't let us down - we have kicked 10 others into touch for YOU', etc etc.

I know single guys have a very bad press on here about this sort of thing, but - having been in these guys position 'once or twice'..

- I would be a bit more than nervy about meeting you - FIFTY messages??? Are you serious?

One thing you DON'T mention ANYWHERE in your post, is a PHONE CONVO between you. Did you not speak to these guys on the phone? I would even suggest the point of doing this should have been when you got down to the final dozen - speak to all 12, as the way they come over on the phone might be nothing like the way they look in writing OR in their profile.

Sorry to have to say this OP, but I really get the feeling this is a case of 'six of one, half dozen of the other'...

Pork

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"................ and sometimes their wife has other plans for them.

"
Good heavens, Laine. What ARE you suggesting.....?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We know there's nothing we can do about it now but just thought we'd let off some steam here...

Has anybody else encountered such an idiot after planning some fun/travelling etc? There are two ways of looking at this: one would be to simply say that they were timewasters who were never going to turn up anyway and you got conned. If that IS the case, then -sorry to say this but - lesson learned.

I know single guys have a very bad press on here about this sort of thing, but - having been in these guys position 'once or twice'..

- I would be a bit more than nervy about meeting you - FIFTY messages??? Are you serious?

Sorry to have to say this OP, but I really get the feeling this is a case of 'six of one, half dozen of the other'...

Pork"

I agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think I'm a lucky one, never been let down but I'm sure that's more luck than my judgement in picking

Hope u r luckier next time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did read on someone profile the following message, which seems very apt in this and many other situations..........

Warning arranging a meet with will greatly increase the chance of a family member or friend being taken ill, work calling you in at short notice, someone turning up to visit you unexpectedly or your normally 100% reliable car will break down........ All of which are perfectly acceptable reason for a no show with out informing me

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

Sorry you were let down.

But just to clarify, if you are a male/female couple and 1 of your guys turned up, surely you were still in a position to have the mfm threesome you were new to? I hope you did anyway and hope you enjoyed it.

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By *ctavius StuntMan
over a year ago

london

omg you messaged a guy at 6pm and he didnt reply untill 6.30pm outrageous !!! personally i dont understand why you were messaging people to meet on here. Surely if you are going to meet someone you would swap phone numbers before hand ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"................ and sometimes their wife has other plans for them.

Yep.. Lol

It's not nice being let down, I have been let down on many time so don't bother now

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By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

warrington

I usually get a lot of sarcasm into threads like this but this one is a really good example of what can happen with meets, almost like a case study if you like.

Yes, the guys let the couple down, but there were also a few things the couple could have done to make sure there was a bit more confidence in the meet actually taking place as planned.

We can all speculate about what the huys reasons were, we have only received one side of the story and there are a few comments about how bad the guys were and how bad the couple planned it.

For everyone's sake, the genuine ones amongst us, at least take a look and think about how this all transpired and learn from it so our meets in the future do not cause angst for anyone

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