FabSwingers.com forum: If farmers wrote romance novels...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Her body tensed and quivered as she felt wave after wave surge through it.

I probably should have told her about that electric fence.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

His scent was earthy, overpowering even. She resolved to get the muck spreader fixed before their next rendezvous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She took her to the bed and laid her on her back.... she was excited and she felt something long and hard pressing against her leg, it was the size of a marrow..... She thought her luck was in...

but it was a marrow ... vegetable bed... bloody farmers.

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

"I drove my tractor through your haystack last night (ooh aah ooh aah),

I threw me pitchfork at your dog to keep quiet (ooh aah ooh aah),

Now something's telling me,

That you'm avoiding me,

Come on now darling you've got something I need,

Cuz I" ......

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By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago

Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove

""I drove my tractor through your haystack last night (ooh aah ooh aah),

I threw me pitchfork at your dog to keep quiet (ooh aah ooh aah),

Now something's telling me,

That you'm avoiding me,

Come on now darling you've got something I need,

Cuz I" ......

…

It’d have to have pitchforks, haystacks and checkered shirts in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This place would be the wicker man

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘Old farmer Giles had been eyeing up Daisy for some time. The mere sight of her juicy udders invariably rendered him instantly erect and throbbing…..’

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By *imontemplerMan
over a year ago

Padbury

He roughly took hold of his cock, grabbed it tight and shook it back and forth. That was the last time that stupid feathered creature woke him up!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

She parted her lips breathlessly waiting for her cock. Bang on 4:30 he cock a doodled doo’d and she was up and at them to do her milking.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Currently working on an adult themed novel, set in a rural community. Thinking of calling it Fifty Sheds of Hay.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Currently working on an adult themed novel, set in a rural community. Thinking of calling it Fifty Sheds of Hay.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Currently working on an adult themed novel, set in a rural community. Thinking of calling it Fifty Sheds of Hay.

I bet it'll be a barnstormer!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Her fine milky breasts were enough to satisfy a thousand people, but the stream of shit between her cheeks would put them off.

Parlour duty always sucks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Currently working on an adult themed novel, set in a rural community. Thinking of calling it Fifty Sheds of Hay.

Spend all the time getting hay out of ass foof

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By *ausage1970Man
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

After feeding all the animals in sub zero temperatures he went to the barn to find Nancy what looked like rope play, he became aroused and thought his luck was in only to get closer and see she had tripped over a haynet and had fallen flat on her face....

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By *entleman of FortuneMan
over a year ago

Hull

He raced towards the meet at breakneck speed, the anticipation in his cab was electric - behind him 7 mile of traffic lay in his wake, unable to pass.

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By *ucifer And MazikeenCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

We had been dating for a few week now and thought it was time that I introduced her to our Daisy

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Dora resisted trying desperately to loosen his hold on her. He knew she couldn't escape and keeping his grip firm he reached one hand across her and began to massage in a way he knew would bring her sweet release... with one twist and a kick Dora sent the bucket flying, knocking Jeremy to the barn floor .. He'd always hated this one particular cow!

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Oooo Arrrr, that there Poppy sure was a mighty fine looking bit of crumpet and the mere sight of ‘er in wellies never ceased to get old Giles’ stork as ‘ard as an axel on ‘is Massey Ferguson….

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By *igforfun100Man
over a year ago

Magherafelt

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By *igforfun100Man
over a year ago

Magherafelt

She followed me into the byre and showed her up into the crush.

Her neck was clamped and I read her eartags to make sure she was as the paperwork says. Not an import so no blood tests required.

Right fertile wee heifer ready for the bull. Giddy up there girl... I hit my ead on the bar accross the crush...

Woke up in ospital a week later with me balls trampled off me.

Moral of the story... let the farm hand help ya get the job done.

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

Fifty Shades of Dung

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Mr pickle had been ploughing hard all day, it was getting wetter and wetter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d do a farmers wife whilst he milks to cows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And then the driving instructor said to the Farmer could he make a U-turn.

‘Ewe turn!’ cried the farmer ‘I’d make its fucking eyes water’

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

He grabbed her by the leg, forcefully flipping her onto her back, gripping her writhing body between his powerful thighs, as the shears whired into life.

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

Ooo...arrr, ooo.....arrrr.....

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Giles masturbated furiously while the two women waiting in anticipation. Once he shot his load his sisters had never been covered in so much man milk.

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then the engineer said ‘so tell me again exactly how this milking machine broke’

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"He raced towards the meet at breakneck speed, the anticipation in his cab was electric - behind him 7 mile of traffic lay in his wake, unable to pass."

This one cracked me up

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

He ploughed his field and scattered his good seed on the land outdoor wanking in this weather not good...... Frostbite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A tory MP was caught watching porn in the house of commons last year. (Twice)

Initially said he was trying to look at tractors...not sure what you put into Google for that result lol.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Cuck a doodle do

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

A farmer who's really good at his job.

A man outstanding in his field!

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By *ausage1970Man
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

She wasn't expecting him to use those on her but once a dairy farmer its hard to change your routine

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By *ausage1970Man
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

She didn't mind him bringing his sheep dog to the local doggers car park but the whole flock of sheep.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went out with the farmer's daughter

We walked down Leafy Lane

I'm not right sure what we did down there

But I'm going there again!

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Old mcdonald had a farm

His hot wife was called annie

His farm hands used to stay the night

And play with Annie's fanny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then a little harder until it came. I moaned with an pleasure. Now for the other boot...

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By *ausage1970Man
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

He slowly covered her breast with udder cream.... Daisy number 135 loved it

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By *ixie and dixie2022Couple
over a year ago

villiage

He sprayed on slurry by lynx just one spray

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Daisy took a sharp intake of breath and rose to her tiptoes as Dan entered her swiftly with little warning, those arm length disposable gloves were always cold...and he was gone right to the shoulder!!

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By *ausage1970Man
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Daisy liked it deep and large,her bull abliged with a snort...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody Farmers, sowing their wild oats!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After throwing herself naked onto the hay, she gasped with surprise at the 4 pricks entering her .... the Farm hand smiled down on her nakedness with glee "yay, you found the pitchfork"

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By *ausage1970Man
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

The bull mounted him, he let out a yell of pain the realisation he needed a vet and a surgeon!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After milking the cows, he glanced over at the pigs. "I should call my wife" he said.

- an unpleasant farmer

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