FabSwingers.com forum: Favourite rude comedy song

By *onLicks OP Man
over a year ago

Worthing

There are so many to choose from. The ultra subtle monty python penis song, the Australian in your face, "do you fuck on first dates and does your dad own a brewery?"

What comedy songs have made you laugh over the years?

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

You already listed the best one. Kevin Bloody Wilson sang all the best ones.

"I've got a tounge that is 10 inches long and I can breathe through my ears" is another classic.

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

SIT ON MY FACEEEEEEE AND TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME……!

Gotta love the Pythons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's Kevin Bloody Wilson isn't it? He also did the classic 'Hey Santa Claus You Cunt'.

I don't know many but 'I'm a wanker' by Ivor Biggun is a regular ear worm for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh also just remembered 'stick that fucking phone up your fucking arse'

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I'm Fucking Matt Damon

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West

The Dogging Song by Fascinating Aida, deserves a mention.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm Fucking Matt Damon "

Shouldn't that be in the have you fucked a celeb thread?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm Fucking Matt Damon "

Was that the one by Sarah Silverman? Or am I remembering it wrong?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I'm Fucking Matt Damon

Was that the one by Sarah Silverman? Or am I remembering it wrong?

It certainly was ..... IS !

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By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

Go kart racing (accidental masterbating) - misbehaving maidens. Tbh most of their stuff is rude

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Just remembered the Ivor Biggun classic…I’ve Farted! (Available on YouTube I believe)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's Kevin Bloody Wilson isn't it? He also did the classic 'Hey Santa Claus You Cunt'.

I don't know many but 'I'm a wanker' by Ivor Biggun is a regular ear worm for me."

Definitely Santa claus "I saw mummy sucking Santa claus "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm Fucking Matt Damon

Was that the one by Sarah Silverman? Or am I remembering it wrong?

It certainly was ..... IS !

Thanks! Haha...had to question my memory there

I LOVE the video she did for it ... hilarious!! Might just go and have a quick re-watch

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By *onLicks OP Man
over a year ago

Worthing

"You already listed the best one. Kevin Bloody Wilson sang all the best ones.

"I've got a tounge that is 10 inches long and I can breathe through my ears" is another classic."

Didn't remember that second one but I will look it up

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By *onLicks OP Man
over a year ago

Worthing

"SIT ON MY FACEEEEEEE AND TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME……!

Gotta love the Pythons "

They are the gift that keeps on giving... Who can possibly feel sad belting out sit on my face. I will probably do that at the next kareoki

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Green Grow My Nadjers Oh .......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Friggin' in the Riggin' by the Sex Pistols

Many of the ye olde folkie versions (often called The Good Ship Venus) are actually even ruder!

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

Anything by Kevin Bloody Wilson

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I still often sing this out loud in my best Ivor Biggun voice.

Wasn't he Doc someone or other on That's Life?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shut your fucking face uncle fucker

You dont eat or sleep or mow the lawn just fuck your uncle all day long

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By *onLicks OP Man
over a year ago

Worthing

"Green Grow My Nadjers Oh ....... "

Have you sought treatment?

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By *layTimeEssexCouple
over a year ago

Stansted

"The Dogging Song by Fascinating Aida, deserves a mention. "

More than a mention - contender for one of the best ever

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By *jfrenchMan
over a year ago

Stockport

"Friggin' in the Riggin' by the Sex Pistols

Many of the ye olde folkie versions (often called The Good Ship Venus) are actually even ruder! "

"GIVE IT SOME BOLLOCKS!!!"

Haha - was gonna choose Friggin' but ya beat me to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BEAVERRRRRRRR

LABIA LABIA LABIA

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By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

"The Dogging Song by Fascinating Aida, deserves a mention.

More than a mention - contender for one of the best ever

Seen them live a couple of times well worth it

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

"I'm Fucking Matt Damon

Was that the one by Sarah Silverman? Or am I remembering it wrong?

It was. Kimmel did the counter song, "I'm fucking Ben Affleck"

Both on youtube and worth a watch for a laugh.

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"Go kart racing (accidental masterbating) - misbehaving maidens. Tbh most of their stuff is rude

Love the maidens (especially granny's advice) but "go-kart racing" is a cover of Garfunkel and Oates, who are well worth seeking out, particularly "Loop hole" (fuck me in the, because I love Jesus)

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By *uke-de-PleasureMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"Friggin' in the Riggin' by the Sex Pistols

Many of the ye olde folkie versions (often called The Good Ship Venus) are actually even ruder!

"GIVE IT SOME BOLLOCKS!!!"

Haha - was gonna choose Friggin' but ya beat me to it

"The Captain's wife was Mabel,

To fuck she was most able,

And the dirty shits came on her tits,

Across the galley table"

Hehe

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By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

"Go kart racing (accidental masterbating) - misbehaving maidens. Tbh most of their stuff is rude

Love the maidens (especially granny's advice) but "go-kart racing" is a cover of Garfunkel and Oates, who are well worth seeking out, particularly "Loop hole" (fuck me in the, because I love Jesus)"

Every day's a school day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Inflatable You by Tim Minchin

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By *ack69erMan
over a year ago

Beverley

"Gang Bang" by Black Lace.

It was in the film "Rita, Sue and Bob too".

The clip of it is on Youtube

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"The Dogging Song by Fascinating Aida, deserves a mention. "

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Go kart racing (accidental masterbating) - misbehaving maidens. Tbh most of their stuff is rude

Love the maidens (especially granny's advice) but "go-kart racing" is a cover of Garfunkel and Oates, who are well worth seeking out, particularly "Loop hole" (fuck me in the, because I love Jesus)"

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Shit my pants

How I blew ya

By sherry vine

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth

Face down ass up that's the way we like to fuck

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Friggin' in the Riggin'

Sex Pistols.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only know Alice who the F is Alice

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Friggin' in the Riggin'

Sex Pistols."

Not the most tuneful of songs, I must admit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm Fucking Matt Damon

Was that the one by Sarah Silverman? Or am I remembering it wrong?

It was. Kimmel did the counter song, "I'm fucking Ben Affleck"

Both on youtube and worth a watch for a laugh."

Yes, now you mention it, I do remember the Jimmy Kimmel one too. Hilarious

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By *ingo00Man
over a year ago

Cowley

Alestorm - Fucked with an Anchor

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By *onLicks OP Man
over a year ago

Worthing

"Alestorm - Fucked with an Anchor

I can see that song might weigh down your resting mind...

#sorryNotSorry

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

Too many good ones. There are a whole host on Lonely Island songs, as well as The Bloodhound Gang. There's Tenacious D and Blink 182 etc. And of course the myriad of Monty Python, as well The Mighty Boosh and others. I cant actually pick.

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By *isurreyguy2019Man
over a year ago

surrey

"You already listed the best one. Kevin Bloody Wilson sang all the best ones.

"I've got a tounge that is 10 inches long and I can breathe through my ears" is another classic."

Indeed,

She's a good'n

It was over

She's the sorta Shelia

Bali belly song

That fucking cats back

I gave up wanking

Festival of life

And many others

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Anything by Rambling Syd Rumpo

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By *orny guy 6630Man
over a year ago

Gloucester

Pretty much anything by Wheeler Walker Jr, and Scuzz Twittly

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By *isurreyguy2019Man
over a year ago

surrey

Steel panther

Glory hole

Gang bang at the old folks home

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"The Dogging Song by Fascinating Aida, deserves a mention. "

This one always gets me laughing.

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By *ob Carpe DiemMan
over a year ago

Torquay

Quite like Derek and Clive jump you fucker jump

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By *ushandkittyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Always enjoy 'at a medium pace' by Adam Sandler, or amateur transplants version of James blunts 'beautiful'

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By *rolicUsCouple
over a year ago

Alluringly mysterious

We put a reference to this on my dad’s tombstone

Laugh, we nearly….

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By *ob Carpe DiemMan
over a year ago

Torquay

"We put a reference to this on my dad’s tombstone

Laugh, we nearly…. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The dogging song & cheep flights by Fascinating Aida .

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Do you take it in the ass - The Wet Spots

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By *3rial Thr1LL3rMan
over a year ago

aberdeenshire

"The Dogging Song by Fascinating Aida, deserves a mention. "

Came here to post exactly this

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By *onLicks OP Man
over a year ago

Worthing

I can see my alexa is going to get very confused when I start asking for a few of these... Wonder what amazon will throw up as "recommended for you" afterwards???

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By *3rial Thr1LL3rMan
over a year ago

aberdeenshire

Kat McSnatch - you are a c*nt

Wheeler walker jr - drop em out

Fascinating aida - try not to be a c*nt this Christmas

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Slightly rude ...let's do it by the irreplaceable Victoria Wood

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By *ittleRed18Woman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"Inflatable You by Tim Minchin

Yes!!!

A lot of his stuff is genius!

The Lonely Island guys are brilliant too

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By *ittleRed18Woman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Oh and Bo Burnham check him out folks!

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By *orthing-cplCouple
over a year ago

worthing

Fluffy pup by the Macc lads

Community property by steel panther

(Most songs by either band)

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

"I still often sing this out loud in my best Ivor Biggun voice.

Wasn't he Doc someone or other on That's Life?"

Yep. Doc Cox.

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

Up With The Cock - Judge Dread.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West

"The Dogging Song by Fascinating Aida, deserves a mention.

Came here to post exactly this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The assumption song

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bottom: Burglary

..."oh, do your balls hang low do yer swing em two and fro, can you tie them in a knot can you tie them in a bow. Do you get a funny feeling when they're hanging from the ceiling 'cause you'll never be a sailor if your balls hang low'

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

Elvis is everywhere, mojo nixon

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By *eemanMan
over a year ago

dundee

Ac/dc she told me to cum but I was already there

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

A Wanker (With WhiteSocks) - Wildthing

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By *urvyBiUnicornWoman
over a year ago

dundee

Fuck Her Gently- Tenacious D

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By *rMs.NeekCouple
over a year ago

Worcestershire

"That's Kevin Bloody Wilson isn't it? He also did the classic 'Hey Santa Claus You Cunt'.

I don't know many but 'I'm a wanker' by Ivor Biggun is a regular ear worm for me."

Santa Claus is very very funny

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By *rMs.NeekCouple
over a year ago

Worcestershire

Rugby songs.... Yogi Bear etc

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By *rMs.NeekCouple
over a year ago

Worcestershire

"Slightly rude ...let's do it by the irreplaceable Victoria Wood "

The absolute best

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Big Balls by AC/DC

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tim Minchin - 10ft cock and a few hundred virgins

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Suck on my chocolate salty balls!

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By *onLicks OP Man
over a year ago

Worthing

"Suck on my chocolate salty balls!

Such a South park classic

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By *inAndTonic21Couple
over a year ago

Merseyside

Chocolate salty balls for sure

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

Does laid by James count

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By *onLicks OP Man
over a year ago

Worthing

Is "smells like teen spirit" a euphemism & if so would it count?

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By *rMs.NeekCouple
over a year ago

Worcestershire

"Is "smells like teen spirit" a euphemism & if so would it count?"

South of the border Ed Sheeran is a euphemism

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By *onLicks OP Man
over a year ago

Worthing

"Is "smells like teen spirit" a euphemism & if so would it count?

South of the border Ed Sheeran is a euphemism "

Does that mean "hit me with your rhythm stick, hit me hard, hit me quick" is too? My childhood is now ruined......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tim Minchen Inflateable You

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A second vote for Fluffy Pup and Sit on my Face (Guess Your Weight) by the Macc Lads.

I Never Met a Nice South African by Spitting Image.

The Shipman Song by Tony Littler

Dolly Parton's Tits by Chubby Brown

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By *all me FlikWoman
over a year ago

Galaxy Far Far Away

Lately, Garfunkel and Oates, Fuck You and they also have a song about how young Christians can stay pure before marriage by only having anal sex because that doesn't count.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tim Minchin - 10ft cock and a few hundred virgins"

Soon you want to live in paradiiiisse....with a 10 ft cock and a few hundred Virgins

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh also just remembered 'stick that fucking phone up your fucking arse'"

Operator 42. Who the fuck are you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rolf Harris, Jake the peg?

Irony eh lol.

Chuck Berry, my dingaling.

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

Max romeo. Wet dream. Lie down girl let me push it up. Push it up. Lie down girl.

They don't write them like that anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chastity Belt by Jasper Carrot

My dad had JC vinyl album with this song on it. Was told off numerous times by my folks to turn it off in the early 80s

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By *amelaslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Earl's Court

Kunt and the Gang

Macc Lads

Any of them is good

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

Boom boom boom by the outhere brothers

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By *ack69erMan
over a year ago

Beverley

[Removed by poster at 18/08/22 09:06:20]

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By *ack69erMan
over a year ago

Beverley

In addition to my earlier reference to "Gang Bang" by Dark Lace.

I have recalled two other good artists, David Allan Coe who has numerous X rated albums and the songs are to many to list and Rodney Carrington with his song "Dear Penis" which is on Youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djYz6p3i-t0&ab_channel=simmarand

Dear Penis,

I don't think I like you anymore,

You used to watch me shave,

Now all you do is stare at the floor.

Oh dear Penis,

I don't like you anymore.

It used to be you and me,

A paper towel, and a dirty magazine,

That's all we needed to get by.

Now it seems things have changed,

I think that your the one to blame.

Dear Penis,

I don't like you anymore.

Now he sings,

Dear Rodney,

I don't think I like you anymore,

'Cause when you get to drinkin'

You put me places I've never been before.

Dear Rodney,

I dont like you anymore.

Why can't we just get a grip,

On our man to hand relationship.

Come to terms with truly how we feel.

If we put our heads together,

We'd just stay home forever.

Dear Penis,

I think I like you after all.

Oh and Rodney,

While yer shavin',

Shave my balls.

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By *ungle VIP 1Man
over a year ago

colchester

Kevin bloody wilson, cunt of a day, or The featherbrain championship. Seen bim a few times the man is a legend

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By *abluesbabyMan
over a year ago

Gibraltar/Cheshire/London

DJ Lubel - "Wrong Hole"

Cars Can Be Blue - "Dirty Song"

And like others have said: Anything by either Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson and/or The Macc Lads

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By *ungle VIP 1Man
over a year ago

colchester

Cant say cunt in Canada

gateway to her guts gets me every time

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Lonely Isand - Jizz in my pants, Dick in a box, Mother Lover, It's not gay if it's in a threeway, I just had sex.

Lil Dicky - Lemme freak

99% of Steel Panther songs

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

Fishy - Prince Buster

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Sweaty Betty by The Macc Ladds and a few others by them.

Apologies to anyone called Betty, it's not about them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not strictly comedy but rude:

Put It In My Mouth - Akinyele

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"In addition to my earlier reference to "Gang Bang" by Dark Lace.

I have recalled two other good artists, David Allan Coe who has numerous X rated albums and the songs are to many to list and Rodney Carrington with his song "Dear Penis" which is on Youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djYz6p3i-t0&ab_channel=simmarand

Dear Penis,

I don't think I like you anymore,

You used to watch me shave,

Now all you do is stare at the floor.

Oh dear Penis,

I don't like you anymore.

It used to be you and me,

A paper towel, and a dirty magazine,

That's all we needed to get by.

Now it seems things have changed,

I think that your the one to blame.

Dear Penis,

I don't like you anymore.

Now he sings,

Dear Rodney,

I don't think I like you anymore,

'Cause when you get to drinkin'

You put me places I've never been before.

Dear Rodney,

I dont like you anymore.

Why can't we just get a grip,

On our man to hand relationship.

Come to terms with truly how we feel.

If we put our heads together,

We'd just stay home forever.

Dear Penis,

I think I like you after all.

Oh and Rodney,

While yer shavin',

Shave my balls."

I liked his "Cum stains on the pillow".

https://youtu.be/jPNX9WBw1rs

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