FabSwingers.com forum: Private messaging is not my thing

By *r Analytic OP Man
over a year ago

Nuneaton

I have come to the conclusion that I am really rubbish at private messaging.

Here is my checklist

Read profile

Check out a few photos

Read there status.

Work out a what kind of person depends on the angle go for.

Usually incorporate something that was in their bio or something they have put on their status. Kinda answering what they have said like a passing conversation.

But i think my my sense of humour is either dark or weird.

I don't usually go for the sexual direction for a conversation starter because that is too weird. Unless the status is more sexual. Im not direct or aggressive just alittle light banter (i hate that word banter).

I never start hey how are or you look hot sexy or you wanna meet now because Im not a dickhead.

I usually get about 3 or 4 replies then nothing.

Does anybody else get this issue but it would be nice to get alittle insight why people do this.

(Here comes the piss takers)

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I have found that 3-4 replies is usually where it stops.

Do you make sure the conversation is open, i.e.: not just asking or answering questions?

Do you get the feeling they are just placating you, if so stop messaging on your terms.

Also some people (myself included) are slow to respond. It doesn’t mean the conversation is over, its just a time thing.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I've been there buddy. Try and build up conversations on the forum and hopefully those people will respond. I get ignored constantly, you just have to shrug it off and move on.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's quite difficult to keep a conversation going by pm. We do manage it with one or two people but you have to be prepared to talk about the mundane stuff as well as the sexy stuff

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By *r Analytic OP Man
over a year ago

Nuneaton

"I have found that 3-4 replies is usually where it stops.

Do you make sure the conversation is open, i.e.: not just asking or answering questions?

Do you get the feeling they are just placating you, if so stop messaging on your terms.

Also some people (myself included) are slow to respond. It doesn’t mean the conversation is over, its just a time thing."

I always reply in a way that it continues the conversation is so just stops dead.

They read the last message but then don't respond.

Some of the replies are in a stop manner ie " it definitely didn't take long to read my bio" which you think after a did alittle joke " but at least you put some thought into your bio and like others so tell me a little bit about yourself".

So yep i just don't get it. May have to look into club night Im much better face to face as I can see if they want to talk or not.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I guess you just need to accept that there will probably only be very few people you will hit it off with...pretty much like most folks on here

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By *r Analytic OP Man
over a year ago

Nuneaton

"It's quite difficult to keep a conversation going by pm. We do manage it with one or two people but you have to be prepared to talk about the mundane stuff as well as the sexy stuff"

Oh 100% talking sexy stuff only gets very boring quickly however sexual innuendos keep the teasing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Attend the socials, bound to find people there you'll connect with. I've also seen a lot of people mention it's school holidays so most people are busy with their families and children. Build up a network of friends through the forums and chat if you're feeling left out.

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By *r Analytic OP Man
over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Attend the socials, bound to find people there you'll connect with. I've also seen a lot of people mention it's school holidays so most people are busy with their families and children. Build up a network of friends through the forums and chat if you're feeling left out. "

I'm totally aware that it's the school holidays. And I use the forums quite often. And I definitely do not feel left out. But I understand why you would say that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often do but at the same time you can’t reply much to my initial messages: you seem to have a lovely anus, keep eating fiber’ but some women do reply to this odd and random one!

A conversation is a reciprocal interaction, and I find difficult to reply to a one word message so if the conversation dies I take it as a sign to not pursue anymore and give up.

I found that conversation flows with ppl who share similar interests (like fucking watermelon or driving Ford Fiesta)

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

"I often do but at the same time you can’t reply much to my initial messages: you seem to have a lovely anus, keep eating fiber’ but some women do reply to this odd and random one!

A conversation is a reciprocal interaction, and I find difficult to reply to a one word message so if the conversation dies I take it as a sign to not pursue anymore and give up.

I found that conversation flows with ppl who share similar interests (like fucking watermelon or driving Ford Fiesta) "

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

I think once again we have a thread saying "why isn't anyone replying" without fully thinking how many men to ladies ratio there is on this site.

Don't take it personally, be patient and move on OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't put yourself down man. I doubt it you. People are interested in different things: & More so F- state they want to be stimulated but you have to guess how as each are different and if you don't match their criteria then no answer. I think the "sweet but a psycho" song matches a lot of people on here

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I stopped sending first contact messages at the beginning of 2020. It was a conscious decision to focus only on the forums. When covid and lockdown appeared there didn't seem a lot of point in starting new conversations.

I was still chatting to a number of people at the time but I discovered that I was the only one making any effort in some of those conversations.

The easy conversations are still ongoing now simply because there is no pressure and no expectations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know I'm guilty of deleting/not replying to messages that are actually nice/funny and from good looking guys.

Why? I'm tired, I'm in a mood, I don't feel like talking, I'm already talking to a guy. Take your pick.

Women are fickle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

^^^ their is the answer . Women are complicated creatures.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"^^^ their is the answer . Women are complicated creatures.

They're not

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Seems fairly reasonable an approach.

We should expect that most initial chats will filter out unmatched people, as most people are not mutually compatible with most other people.

It's a sign of poor communication, if the wrong people are not filtered out as early as possible

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

I spend a lot of time chatting to people. Some people it flows with and some are non-starters. It

might just be you haven’t found anybody you click with yet.

Just on another note, I found it hard to decipher what some of the sentences meant in your posts here, it may be that’s happening with your messages with some people too? That’s not a criticism btw, everyone writes differently and there are probably people here who didn’t have an issue understanding you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could've written the post myself op. I'm fecking hopeless at putting me into messages, being able to give others a flavour of your personality in such a simple, speech bubble way, is a tough ask, yet imperative. I generally don't message first anymore, just forum nonsense and socials.

Sometimes though, a message or wink received from out of the blue can be the beginning of something wonderful and well worth the wait.

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