FabSwingers.com forum: Men.....

By *ewforestguy OP Man
over a year ago

England

....why do we bottle our shit up so much. We need to chat more. If you're going bad times speak to your mates. There's always someone that will listen.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I dont bottle, I'm very honest and open about my troubles

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otdave75Man
over a year ago

Chandlers Ford

Agree, took me 10+ years to go to dr and get help for stress and anxiety. Still got shit to deal with but it’s easier now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because i like to use it to fuel my rage at the right times on the field iv spent 3 years unloading my stress and it didnt change anything real in my life infact it lead to a more certain end for me my so called venting so bottle my rage as fuel bit like the waterboy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't. I won't. I can't.

We all need a bit of perspective from time to time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I just shout at pigeons, it seems to do the job

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

I share when I feel that it will help but more often than not I'm happy to process my feelings and deal with things on my own. I'm all for sharing and being open and honest, but I don't think it hurts to exercise a little stoicism.

Bottling up your emotions is of course very unhealthy. If I'm encountering problems without understanding why or how to deal with them, then for sure I'm getting help.

For the most part though I feel like you've just got to be very realistic, honest and pragmatic within yourself, in that you tend to find a place where you can understand and contextualise your feelings, from there you can begin working to address them.

I'm just one guy though, everyone is different and thinks differently, everyone has a unique experience.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago

Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove

Not everyone has someone to talk to - or people that they can trust to keep confidential what they need to share

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There really isn't.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

It's good to be able to talk and really listen

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *91kMan
over a year ago

Maidstone

"....why do we bottle our shit up so much. We need to chat more. If you're going bad times speak to your mates. There's always someone that will listen. "

The problem for some I believe, is that the situation that causes us stress/anxiety/pain etc, isn't always fixable. The logical answer to that is to come to terms with the situation, which is easier said than done of course... Talking to someone can help with that massively, it's crossing that barrier that some struggle with

Personally, I take my shit out in the gym. Headphones on, don't speak to a soul and just throw some iron around. Keeps me chill enough and helps more than trying to talk to someone. But that's just me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ANDA!Man
over a year ago

DUMFRIES

Now I know, I have someone to talk to, but I bottled all my shit up for years. But I spent a long time thinking all the stuff in my head was normal. .apparently its not

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

If I'd did I would have exploded years ago. I learnt in my previous job we need a few beers, a safe place and a good unload. And in my experience guys are desperate to have a safe place and an ear to unload on (no pub intended). For years now I've been very open about my shit and vulnerabilities. What I've found in response is guys then see that, come to you and often share theirs. People bond over imperfections and vulnerabilities not strength and success. So I've become over time more attuned to when a guy is in a bad way (tackled some dark spaces myself) (also no mean feat learning to spot such things when your on the spectrum). So if a guy is in need don't leave him at sea alone. Break down your defences, open up yourself first, let him know your open for a beer/tea and to chat shit. If your open many guys who need an ear will open up in return. I doesn't matter if you can't give advice (and maybe you shouldn't anyways) but the opportunity to say problems out loud and have someone to go over them with them is priceless. I know from personal experience the value of being able to do this. It can make a huge difference.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *moothCriminal_xMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"....why do we bottle our shit up so much. We need to chat more. If you're going bad times speak to your mates. There's always someone that will listen. "

I dont bottle stuff up really but i dont really talk to guy friends about truly deep stuff much. Save that for my female friends who i am more comfortable crying in front of! No idea why but since i was about 20 and learned to open up its 99% only with the women in my life

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I don't like confrontation and if I have an issue with something or someone, I don't know how to say it without coming off like a giant dickhead

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r AnalyticMan
over a year ago

Nuneaton

"....why do we bottle our shit up so much. We need to chat more. If you're going bad times speak to your mates. There's always someone that will listen. "

Well thank your parents and society it is only the last 10 years not even that that is been acceptable for men to open up with their feelings.

Just look at suicide rate is much greater in men.

Will it change?

Partly yes but it's still an instinct for men not talk about their emotions.

Yes some of us will open up but most will never realy fully open up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread