FabSwingers.com forum: What's the dirtiest you've ever been

By *hirley OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

I once was at a house party and a girl was dipping her bare feet in a pond, her mate proceeds to shove her in and completely covered her in pond substance, she took it well and just stayed in there. I felt obliged that she didn't feel lonely so dived in afterwards. It took several showers to feel clean again, but I wasn't worried about that at the time...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've recently spent some time in a lake. It's gross.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I grew up on a farm, so always filthy.

Milking the cows in the summer wearing just shorts and flip flops getting covered in cow poop was a regular thing. Something you get used to working on a farm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I swam in a slurry pit while a girl counted £3000

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I voted Tory once in my late teens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dirtiest I've ever been..... probably the time I hit a discarded dog poo bag (hidden in long grass) with a strimmer....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was playing football in a back lane, I kicked the ball off a garage door and loads of pigeons flew out of a hole in the wall next to it and shat all over my head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was playing football in a back lane, I kicked the ball off a garage door and loads of pigeons flew out of a hole in the wall next to it and shat all over my head

I would pay to see this.

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By *ubbermaidbabyCouple
over a year ago

clwyd

"I grew up on a farm, so always filthy.

Milking the cows in the summer wearing just shorts and flip flops getting covered in cow poop was a regular thing. Something you get used to working on a farm. "

It is amazing how far fresh grass poop can travel!! Just when you think you’ve got away with it, one on the other side starts!!

Mr Rmb

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/08/22 15:47:24]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was playing football in a back lane, I kicked the ball off a garage door and loads of pigeons flew out of a hole in the wall next to it and shat all over my head

I would pay to see this."

I didn’t realise what had happened and do instinctively put my hand on my head to see what it was. It was shit

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By *imon_hydeMan
over a year ago

Stockport

"I voted Tory once in my late teens.

You dirty pervert!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

T in the Park festival. Torrential rain and thousands of people walking on it turned the venue to a mud pit. My friend decided to wrestle me to the ground and we just rolled around in it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm often dirty as. . I do roof cleaning so legs are often covered in dirt. Put some pics on here for a laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was playing football in a back lane, I kicked the ball off a garage door and loads of pigeons flew out of a hole in the wall next to it and shat all over my head

I would pay to see this.

I didn’t realise what had happened and do instinctively put my hand on my head to see what it was. It was shit

This has seriously cheered me up.

Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was playing football in a back lane, I kicked the ball off a garage door and loads of pigeons flew out of a hole in the wall next to it and shat all over my head

I would pay to see this.

I didn’t realise what had happened and do instinctively put my hand on my head to see what it was. It was shit

This has seriously cheered me up.

Thanks."

I’m glad you find my misfortune amusing.

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By *obtributeMan
over a year ago

Somerset

As a boy I once had an impure thought about one of our teachers, who was a nun.

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

"I once was at a house party and a girl was dipping her bare feet in a pond, her mate proceeds to shove her in and completely covered her in pond substance, she took it well and just stayed in there. I felt obliged that she didn't feel lonely so dived in afterwards. It took several showers to feel clean again, but I wasn't worried about that at the time..."

But did you pull the girl?

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By *od ThrusterMan
over a year ago

Newport Pagnell

I once did an Army assault course for a charity. One part of it was going under a telegraph pole which was laid across a hole filled to the brim with a substance that was halfway between mud and water.

Took 4 washes to get it all out of my kit.

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By *irDomin8Man
over a year ago

Southend-On-Sea

"I voted Tory once in my late teens.

A"
what a filthy thing to do... I bet you still don't feel clean.

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By *razytimesinloveCouple
over a year ago

SW Scotland

"I grew up on a farm, so always filthy.

Milking the cows in the summer wearing just shorts and flip flops getting covered in cow poop was a regular thing. Something you get used to working on a farm. "

Once that tail goes up it’s game over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Taking ceilings down in old houses!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fruit picking. Only time I've had a tan.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I voted Tory once in my late teens.

Dont get much worse and that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going around a long term vacant former hosiery workshop. Building was covered in pigeon guano, dead pigeons and alive pigeons eating dead pigeons.

After I left, had to skip rest of day at work and go straight home to shower to get rid of the smell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cleaning the walls of a house of a smoker

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

Working in a chippy in my teens, that cooking fat stench is hard to get rid off

Or mucking out horses in the summer when it's really warm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Out walking my dogs in the countryside and another younger dog flew past us into a field. Found an old guy there nearly in tears unable to get the dog back from chasing the sheep there.

So I ended up chasing round the field after someone else's dog which was chasing sheep. Eventually the dog got hold of one in a pond and then didn't know what to do, so I ran straight into the pond to grab the dog before the sheep drowned, took the dog back to its owner, then went back round the field lifting out the sheep that had flung themselves into ditches and brambles to get away.

Got back to the car covered in pond water, mud, sheep shit and lanolin, my other half made me strip off before getting in the car and I had to ride home just on my underwear, all my stinking clothes in the boot.

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By *hirley OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

But did you pull the girl?"

Well I don't kiss and tell but as it was so long ago I guess I'll tell the story; so yeah, i guess the other reason I went in with her was because she had her eye on me, I guess you could say things started evolving quickly after we both dried off in the garage and we were changed into dry clothes (yes I had spare clothes there). We made mad moves in the utility room, but was abruptly halted as her mate; the one who shoved her in the pond and subsequently into my arms, caught us with hands down each others pants and playing tongue tennis, stopped her and pulled her away as we were taking each others clothes off, again

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By *onkeynutWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

Probably the time a dead persons bodily fluids ended up all over me

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Probably the time a dead persons bodily fluids ended up all over me

Winner

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By *onLicksMan
over a year ago

Worthing

"Probably the time a dead persons bodily fluids ended up all over me

Now that is a having beer story...

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Football in winter as a youth. The kit changed colour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The time I came home with a spec of mud on my trousers after playing football at lunchtime on a Monday according to my Mum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The time I came home with a spec of mud on my trousers after playing football at lunchtime on a Monday according to my Mum

And then you met me....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first Saturday job was working on a pig farm. The smell permeates your skin and hair and no amount of washing gets rid of it.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

The day we walked across Morecambe Bay (in a different, more mobile life!) Covered in estuary mud and sheep poo by the time we made it to Grange

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By *ireIce2019Couple
over a year ago

Brighton

"I voted Tory once in my late teens.

Made me laugh!

Dirtiest I’ve been, covered in mud in the foods. Just would have liked to be screwed for an even more dirty experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glastonbury festival

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

Cream fields 09

didn't brush my teeth nor shower for 4 days and nights

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Tough Mudder...

Cal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The time I came home with a spec of mud on my trousers after playing football at lunchtime on a Monday according to my Mum

And then you met me...."

Very true, I saw things I never thought I'd see a woman do

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

I once had the bright idea to remove a plaster and lath ceiling in an 80 year old house, that probably spent the first half of that being heated by coal/wood.

I overboarded the rest of the house after that, as i resembled a burnt match after 10 minutes

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By *lueFireCouple
over a year ago

just somewhere around here

"Taking ceilings down in old houses!"

God yes....Black snot for weeks

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By *hirley OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

"Taking ceilings down in old houses!"

Yeah, they literally hide a multitude of sins. Remember doing my old house and the gas fitters for the central heating just left shit everywhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tried watersports once with a lady

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Head to toe after exiting 'ebenezer' at Nuclear Races

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

"Taking ceilings down in old houses!

God yes....Black snot for weeks"

Not to mention the never ending dust...for months! i even had every window open in the middle of winter all day, to try and shift it- five minutes after wiping a surface it was back

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Used to be a scout leader. One summer (??) camp torrential rain the whole long weekend whole camp ground was basically a swamp! Tried to stain relatively clean initially but gave in on 2nd day. Took ages to get clean once home and that was just my body/hair! The clothes and kit took bloody weeks!

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By *hirley OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

"Used to be a scout leader. One summer (??) camp torrential rain the whole long weekend whole camp ground was basically a swamp! Tried to stain relatively clean initially but gave in on 2nd day. Took ages to get clean once home and that was just my body/hair! The clothes and kit took bloody weeks! "

This is my biggest reservation when it comes to doing a weekend at Glastonbury say, I hate the idea of sitting in filth for days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After a festival

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By *andyMinx_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds

"Tough Mudder...

Cal"

After this. Definitely

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Working in the sewers of old London Town......now that's dirty.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did a colour run! Looked like an explosion in a rainbow factory

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

[Removed by poster at 13/08/22 09:43:36]

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

But did you pull the girl?

I hope you got to see her again.

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By *hirley OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

But did you pull the girl?

I hope you got to see her again."

Unfortunately no, never did see her again after that

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By *hirley OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

"Working in the sewers of old London Town......now that's dirty....."

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

Getting back off exercise after weeks out in the field at the height of summer, I was absolutely gopping and my uniform could have walked itself to the washing machine

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

Tough mudder Cheshire about 5 years ago.

It had been raining heavily for weeks beforehand (and early that morning).

We were later on on the 2nd day. Oh man was it muddy, even the bits that weren't meant to muddy and you were meant to run we at least ankle deep (or knee deep at some points)

Being autistic I struggle with sensations and I was really worried I wouldn't cope with the mud but I was actually ok and have gone on to do more but nothings been as bad as that...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I voted Tory once in my late teens.

This is filthy!

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

After digging drainage ditches by hand in Kenya. Red dust, suncream and lots of sweat. I was minging.

Gbat

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By *ondonFunTimesMan
over a year ago

Hampshire/Surrey

I was once having a wank and pressed the NEWS button instead of Internet there was I, holding my cock looking at Theresa May.

I felt soiled in my soul.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably the time a dead persons bodily fluids ended up all over me

Pathology lab?

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Probably going about two or three weeks without a proper shower, only two sets of clothes, falling into a river or two, and plenty of mud

LvM

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

Probably either working on a landfill site or shovelling charcoal in the summer. The dust gets everywhere.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Probably going about two or three weeks without a proper shower, only two sets of clothes, falling into a river or two, and plenty of mud

LvM"

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

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By *ANDA!Man
over a year ago

DUMFRIES

Clutch change on a multi person vehicle, think it was a Seat. Cracked open the bellhousing and an entire friction plates worth of dust showered upon me. Owner was known for riding the clutch

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By *hirley OP Man
over a year ago

somewhere

"Probably going about two or three weeks without a proper shower, only two sets of clothes, falling into a river or two, and plenty of mud

LvM"

Is that through your work? Think I remember what you told me you did. Think I've done something similarish, stagnant water is always the worst thing though in my view, bacteria melting pots

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