FabSwingers.com forum: How NOT to use a cash machine

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How NOT to get cash from a cash machine:

1. Approach cash machine using body language that suggests you're unsure whether or not you're actually going to use it

2. Stand there and rummage around in your bag for a minute or so looking for your purse/wallet

3. Pause for a few moments to decide which of the 48 cards you'll be using to withdraw your cash

4. Put in a card and pause whilst you try to remember what the pin number is for that particular card ... then ask the machine to return it as you've decided to use another card

5. Repeat step 4

6. Finally pick the correct card and then see if you can break the world record for punching in 4 digits the slowest

7. Forget to hit "enter"

8. Hit "enter"

9. Gaze at the options before you. No, you don't want to return your card or change your pin number so hit the damn "cash" button.

10. Ask for a printed statement to check your balance then gaze at it for a while

11. Stand there scratching your head trying to decide how much cash you're going to need

12. Ponder whether or not you want a receipt with your cash

13. Type in your selected amount of cash with slooooow, deliberate finger pressing

14. Forget to hit "enter"

15. Hit "enter"

16. Get confused when the machine tells you that you can't have £46 as it dispenses £10 or £20 notes only

17. Punch in the correct amount

18. Forget to hit "enter"

19. Hit "enter"

20. Fumble around trying to put your returned card in your purse/wallet

21. Ignore the machine's bleeping telling you that your cash has been dispensed and should be taken immediately

22. Take the cash and then struggle to put it into your purse/wallet

23. Take your printed receipt and scrutinise it with Sherlock Holmes-like attention-to-detail whilst still standing in front of the machine.

24. Pull out your mobile phone whilst still in front of the machine and check the text that's just arrived

25. Slooooowly walk away oblivious to the fact that you've now got a queue of 16 people waiting behind you in the cold wanting to use the cash machine

Some people!!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"How NOT to get cash from a cash machine:

1. Approach cash machine using body language that suggests you're unsure whether or not you're actually going to use it

2. Stand there and rummage around in your bag for a minute or so looking for your purse/wallet

3. Pause for a few moments to decide which of the 48 cards you'll be using to withdraw your cash

4. Put in a card and pause whilst you try to remember what the pin number is for that particular card ... then ask the machine to return it as you've decided to use another card

5. Repeat step 4

6. Finally pick the correct card and then see if you can break the world record for punching in 4 digits the slowest

7. Forget to hit "enter"

8. Hit "enter"

9. Gaze at the options before you. No, you don't want to return your card or change your pin number so hit the damn "cash" button.

10. Ask for a printed statement to check your balance then gaze at it for a while

11. Stand there scratching your head trying to decide how much cash you're going to need

12. Ponder whether or not you want a receipt with your cash

13. Type in your selected amount of cash with slooooow, deliberate finger pressing

14. Forget to hit "enter"

15. Hit "enter"

16. Get confused when the machine tells you that you can't have £46 as it dispenses £10 or £20 notes only

17. Punch in the correct amount

18. Forget to hit "enter"

19. Hit "enter"

20. Fumble around trying to put your returned card in your purse/wallet

21. Ignore the machine's bleeping telling you that your cash has been dispensed and should be taken immediately

22. Take the cash and then struggle to put it into your purse/wallet

23. Take your printed receipt and scrutinise it with Sherlock Holmes-like attention-to-detail whilst still standing in front of the machine.

24. Pull out your mobile phone whilst still in front of the machine and check the text that's just arrived

25. Slooooowly walk away oblivious to the fact that you've now got a queue of 16 people waiting behind you in the cold wanting to use the cash machine

Some people!!

I am sorry the text was from a hot guy...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

PMSL

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

You were in the same queue as me today then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How NOT to get cash from a cash machine:

1. Approach cash machine using body language that suggests you're unsure whether or not you're actually going to use it

2. Stand there and rummage around in your bag for a minute or so looking for your purse/wallet

3. Pause for a few moments to decide which of the 48 cards you'll be using to withdraw your cash

4. Put in a card and pause whilst you try to remember what the pin number is for that particular card ... then ask the machine to return it as you've decided to use another card

5. Repeat step 4

6. Finally pick the correct card and then see if you can break the world record for punching in 4 digits the slowest

7. Forget to hit "enter"

8. Hit "enter"

9. Gaze at the options before you. No, you don't want to return your card or change your pin number so hit the damn "cash" button.

10. Ask for a printed statement to check your balance then gaze at it for a while

11. Stand there scratching your head trying to decide how much cash you're going to need

12. Ponder whether or not you want a receipt with your cash

13. Type in your selected amount of cash with slooooow, deliberate finger pressing

14. Forget to hit "enter"

15. Hit "enter"

16. Get confused when the machine tells you that you can't have £46 as it dispenses £10 or £20 notes only

17. Punch in the correct amount

18. Forget to hit "enter"

19. Hit "enter"

20. Fumble around trying to put your returned card in your purse/wallet

21. Ignore the machine's bleeping telling you that your cash has been dispensed and should be taken immediately

22. Take the cash and then struggle to put it into your purse/wallet

23. Take your printed receipt and scrutinise it with Sherlock Holmes-like attention-to-detail whilst still standing in front of the machine.

24. Pull out your mobile phone whilst still in front of the machine and check the text that's just arrived

25. Slooooowly walk away oblivious to the fact that you've now got a queue of 16 people waiting behind you in the cold wanting to use the cash machine

Some people!!

Sorry I had to look at my text in case it was another order for a Pygmy "arc"

And I had so many cards because some idiot gave me a skip full of pennies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How NOT to get cash from a cash machine:

1. Approach cash machine using body language that suggests you're unsure whether or not you're actually going to use it

Never know who might be looking at you

2. Stand there and rummage around in your bag for a minute or so looking for your purse/wallet

Again another opportunity to look and look around

3. Pause for a few moments to decide which of the 48 cards you'll be using to withdraw your cash

Waiting for a better offer

4. Put in a card and pause whilst you try to remember what the pin number is for that particular card ... then ask the machine to return it as you've decided to use another card

Nope, again, got to make sure the onlookers can have a good gawp

5. Repeat step 4

6. Finally pick the correct card and then see if you can break the world record for punching in 4 digits the slowest

Are you getting it yet????

7. Forget to hit "enter"

8. Hit "enter"

9. Gaze at the options before you. No, you don't want to return your card or change your pin number so hit the damn "cash" button.

10. Ask for a printed statement to check your balance then gaze at it for a while

11. Stand there scratching your head trying to decide how much cash you're going to need

12. Ponder whether or not you want a receipt with your cash

13. Type in your selected amount of cash with slooooow, deliberate finger pressing

14. Forget to hit "enter"

15. Hit "enter"

16. Get confused when the machine tells you that you can't have £46 as it dispenses £10 or £20 notes only

17. Punch in the correct amount

18. Forget to hit "enter"

19. Hit "enter"

20. Fumble around trying to put your returned card in your purse/wallet

21. Ignore the machine's bleeping telling you that your cash has been dispensed and should be taken immediately

22. Take the cash and then struggle to put it into your purse/wallet

23. Take your printed receipt and scrutinise it with Sherlock Holmes-like attention-to-detail whilst still standing in front of the machine.

24. Pull out your mobile phone whilst still in front of the machine and check the text that's just arrived

25. Slooooowly walk away oblivious to the fact that you've now got a queue of 16 people waiting behind you in the cold wanting to use the cash machine

SEE it all works....to get attention

Some people!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How NOT to get cash from a cash machine:

1. Approach cash machine using body language that suggests you're unsure whether or not you're actually going to use it

2. Stand there and rummage around in your bag for a minute or so looking for your purse/wallet

3. Pause for a few moments to decide which of the 48 cards you'll be using to withdraw your cash

4. Put in a card and pause whilst you try to remember what the pin number is for that particular card ... then ask the machine to return it as you've decided to use another card

5. Repeat step 4

6. Finally pick the correct card and then see if you can break the world record for punching in 4 digits the slowest

7. Forget to hit "enter"

8. Hit "enter"

9. Gaze at the options before you. No, you don't want to return your card or change your pin number so hit the damn "cash" button.

10. Ask for a printed statement to check your balance then gaze at it for a while

11. Stand there scratching your head trying to decide how much cash you're going to need

12. Ponder whether or not you want a receipt with your cash

13. Type in your selected amount of cash with slooooow, deliberate finger pressing

14. Forget to hit "enter"

15. Hit "enter"

16. Get confused when the machine tells you that you can't have £46 as it dispenses £10 or £20 notes only

17. Punch in the correct amount

18. Forget to hit "enter"

19. Hit "enter"

20. Fumble around trying to put your returned card in your purse/wallet

21. Ignore the machine's bleeping telling you that your cash has been dispensed and should be taken immediately

22. Take the cash and then struggle to put it into your purse/wallet

23. Take your printed receipt and scrutinise it with Sherlock Holmes-like attention-to-detail whilst still standing in front of the machine.

24. Pull out your mobile phone whilst still in front of the machine and check the text that's just arrived

25. Slooooowly walk away oblivious to the fact that you've now got a queue of 16 people waiting behind you in the cold wanting to use the cash machine

Some people!!

Sorry I had to look at my text in case it was another order for a Pygmy "arc"

And I had so many cards because some idiot gave me a skip full of pennies

Hehehehe ... very good!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sooooo...!!! Now you have understood all of that...... Will you ever keep me waiting 20 minutes in the rain, again....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sooooo...!!! Now you have understood all of that...... Will you ever keep me waiting 20 minutes in the rain, again....

confused.com

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sooooo...!!! Now you have understood all of that...... Will you ever keep me waiting 20 minutes in the rain, again....

confused.com

Ooops.... It wasn't you at the front of the queue this afternoon....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At least you remembered to take the money out.

We got half way down the street and realised we had left £200 hanging out the wall

I (mrs) got told of as i had been yacking when he was doing it

Legged it back to the bank ran in and we were very lucky no one had been stood behind us and taken it.

If it's not taken within so long the machine retracts it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you put your pin in backwards, the pin not you, it is recognised by the machine that you are drawing money out under duress, IE you're being mugged and notifies the authorities.

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