FabSwingers.com forum: You know you’re getting old when…

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Your partner asks what your original hair colour was…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you make involuntary noises standing up.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Your friends remind you how you'll always be older than them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you realise most 25 year old don't know or jave had the pleasure of using VHS...

Or dial up Internet

Or rotary phones

Or only having 4 tv channels

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

You start saying

In my day

When I was your age

You don’t know you’re born.

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

When you trip over in the street and people rush to help you instead of laughing.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Holibobs

When chin hairs are frequent

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

When chatting after dance class, you find that there's a bigger age gap between you and them than there is between you and your mother!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/08/22 10:18:33]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When your breasts produce powder instead of milk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your partner asks what your original hair colour was…"

Or, in my case, if they ask what did you look like when you had hair.

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By *aulj69Man
over a year ago

dunstable

When you forgot where you parked the car. Lol

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"When your breasts produce powder instead of milk."

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

When you exceed the age of 18

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you realise the hairs on your arms are grey.

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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Lifes Departure Lounge in NN9

"When you trip over in the street and people rush to help you instead of laughing. "

I can relate to that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hairy back

Hairy nose

Hairy ears

All grey

When the alarm goes off at 04.40 can’t be arsed getting up

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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Lifes Departure Lounge in NN9

"When you realise the hairs on your arms are grey. "

And the hair on your head goes from grey to white

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know your old when you remember looking up at the skyline and seeing a British Airways Concorde flying overhead…. Oh the memories

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and most of lady’s on hear specify 55 and under

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you get called miss your surname instead of just your first name I detest it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you tell the kids stop kicking your ball in my yard or il keep it

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

A lovely moment yesterday, when getting my hair cut by a gorgeous young Romanian girl … and realising they I am exactly double her age.

Pretty sure I’m triple the age of some of the local barmaids.

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

… when you get a letter published on the letters page of the local paper

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

London

When your 8 yo asks how it was to be alive in 18th century

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

"When your 8 yo asks how it was to be alive in 18th century

… and you’re half way through the answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you accidentally stand on your ballsack in the shower

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

"When you accidentally stand on your ballsack in the shower

You can get that fixed with a simple procedure buddy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you accidentally stand on your ballsack in the shower

You can get that fixed with a simple procedure buddy

The snip was the only time I ever want a scalpel near my genitalia.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

You high five after sex and feel a sense of achievement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you make involuntary noises standing up."

And sitting down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You post on the forums about back pain and not smashing backdoors in

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

Grumpy appears to be your default mood, especially when dealing with other people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you need to stretch off 2 days before a game

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Bradford and Stockport

"When you accidentally stand on your ballsack in the shower

Just gather it all up and tie it in a knot...

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"When chin hairs are frequent"

I've had constant chin hair since primary school

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When all modern music sounds the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When chin hairs are frequent

I've had constant chin hair since primary school

me too! Been plucked more times than a chicken.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

When you look at the delivery man and think he looks too young to drive

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's all relative. My dad thinks I'm young and can't stop laughing over the fact that I will soon be an oap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you think people who have 18 yrs old listed as their preference are creeps

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"When chin hairs are frequent

I've had constant chin hair since primary school

me too! Been plucked more times than a chicken."

I have tweezers stashed everywhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you're shocked at the price of Space Raiders. Fucking 35p

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you're shocked at the price of Space Raiders. Fucking 35p

Fish and chips from a sit in restaurant… £24.50

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

When setting up a new phone isn't as easy as you think it should be.

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

… when the dribble after you’ve had a slash almost counts as a slash in its own right

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"When setting up a new phone isn't as easy as you think it should be.

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

When you start plucking your nose hair and shaving your ears

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By *andR2019Couple
over a year ago

Nunya

"When you make involuntary noises standing up."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You remember watching the first ever episode of Mastermind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you're shocked at the price of Space Raiders. Fucking 35p

Fish and chips from a sit in restaurant… £24.50

"
whaaaaaaat it it made of gold

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

When you realise that a 20 year old human was born in 2002

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

[Removed by poster at 11/08/22 13:46:19]

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"When setting up a new phone isn't as easy as you think it should be.

Oiy you.. lol

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"When setting up a new phone isn't as easy as you think it should be.

Oiy you.. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you watch family TV shows from when you were younger, and realise you are now older than the father of the family

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you copy everything your parents said to you to your children

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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Lifes Departure Lounge in NN9

When my grandson asks me what I did during the war.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You get skin tags

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By *adyluck..Woman
over a year ago

Halifax

Can’t do a hand stand or ride a bike

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look at celebrity gossip news and dont recognise a single one.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"When you make involuntary noises standing up."

I've been old for a long, long time in that case!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it takes a hell of a lot more than it use to, for you to give a fu@k

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"it takes a hell of a lot more than it use to, for you to give a fu@k

If you find it in you to give a fuck, someone else needs to take one....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You realise it’s 30 years since you were 18

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Can you even get 1p sweets anymore..??!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Can you even get 1p sweets anymore..??!"

No, I think 1p sweets cost 10p now

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"Hairy back

Hairy nose

Hairy ears

All grey

When the alarm goes off at 04.40 can’t be arsed getting up

Oh man, this is it old in a nutshell.

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By *er_kateCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Eyebrows are longer than the hair on my head

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

When your young , you fall over and people laugh

When your old , you have a fall and people call an ambulance !

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Your partner asks what your original hair colour was…"

grey pubes ...... lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When your breasts produce powder instead of milk."

Awesome answer

NBVN x

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By *aFemmeCoquetteWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

When you have to scroll forever for your year of birth on online forms

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

You have an afternoon nap, and wake up 4 hours later!

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By *wistedsoul35Man
over a year ago

barrow

You can't bend the same to shave your balls

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

"When you make involuntary noises standing up."

Your kid copies those noises.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I creat playlists there's nothing from the last decade.

When I go to lean or bend down I automatically place my hand on my lower back because I am expecting a trapped nerve.

NBVN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you can no longer wipe your own arse......

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"When you have to scroll forever for your year of birth on online forms

Yep. That's a real bitch. Like playing wheel of fortune

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have a weekly tablet case

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

When you buy a cap like ninjas

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"When you buy a cap like ninjas

Style son, you've either got or you haven't

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

"When you buy a cap like ninjas

Style son, you've either got or you haven't

I was never blessed with style im afraid

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"When you buy a cap like ninjas

Style son, you've either got or you haven't

I was never blessed with style im afraid

Best marks and spencer, wool rich. Pricy, but doesn't make you look like a barbour wearing chump

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By *obnSpecialKCouple
over a year ago

Castle Donnington

Never felt older than realising some of our messages are from guys older than our kids!

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham

When you tell someone you were offered tickets for the Live Aid concert and you turned them down and how you could kick yourself and they just look at you with blank incomprehension

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

To paraphrase Leonard Cohen: when you ache in the places that you used to play.

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By *hortarseWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk

When you don't get asked for ID to buy alcohol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You grown random coloured eyebrows for no apparent reason

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m sat watching ‘Alien’ and realise that it’s over 40 years since it’s release

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By *_Mr.K_xMan
over a year ago

North Worcestershire

When you're old enough to be everyone Dad (technically) in the work office

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By *_Mr.K_xMan
over a year ago

North Worcestershire

Everyone's *

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By *asyman43Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Nobody bothers to message back..politeness goes a long way. Just a no thanks would be nice

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Crawley Down

[Removed by poster at 11/08/22 22:41:32]

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By *_Mr.K_xMan
over a year ago

North Worcestershire

"Nobody bothers to message back..politeness goes a long way. Just a no thanks would be nice "

I'm sensing a pent up, hidden meaning in here

lol

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Crawley Down

It takes you five days to recover, after five days of paintballing.

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

When the kids think policemen look young.

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By *uckyNineMan
over a year ago

prescot

When heather small is in dictionary corner in countdown and your eldest child doesn’t know who she is even when you point out she was off of M people. Also at that point I knew the game was up as I realised I was actually watching countdown. True story unfortunately

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By *ittleMyWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

"When chin hairs are frequent

I've had constant chin hair since primary school

me too! Been plucked more times than a chicken.

I have tweezers stashed everywhere

Do you also have an agreement with a friend to pluck your chin hair should you ever be unfortunate enough to be in a coma? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone you babysat sends you a message

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By *uckyNineMan
over a year ago

prescot

"When you don't get asked for ID to buy alcohol. "

Also this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you sound like a bowl of rice crispies every time you stand up

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By *uckyNineMan
over a year ago

prescot

"When chin hairs are frequent

I've had constant chin hair since primary school

me too! Been plucked more times than a chicken.

I have tweezers stashed everywhere

Do you also have an agreement with a friend to pluck your chin hair should you ever be unfortunate enough to be in a coma? x"

I have noticed some interloping sun kissed chest hairs this week. Heatwave and all that they must definitely been bleached by the sun I can come up with no other conceivable explanation

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

You get a reply saying hello grandad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When your breasts produce powder instead of milk."

Omg I wouldn't wish that on anyone!

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

When you realise that the combined ages of the 2 new people about to start at work equals your age

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you forgot where you parked the car. Lol"

Oh blimey I do this all the time!

Missy x

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By *ittlekinks38Woman
over a year ago

outside belfast x

When young people who are drinking in bars look about 12 lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You find a red phone box, and pee in it, just for old time’s sake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When women hold the door open for me

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By *rmainman10Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

When you take afternoon naps

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

When you remember the first alcopops like Hooch, and the different coloured Bacardi breezers!

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By *ammo89Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Heard someone referring to Green Day as "Dad Rock" a few months ago. Pretty sure I had a dozen grey hairs the next day

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

When your pension seems like a large amount of money, until you realise the rising prices of food, energy and everything else

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

When you remember the first alcopops like Hooch, and the different coloured Bacardi breezers!

And Wicked Blue & Diamond White

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

When you remember the first alcopops like Hooch, and the different coloured Bacardi breezers!

And Wicked Blue & Diamond White

Mad dog 20 20

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Songs that played in clubs are now in throwback playlists

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I’m in total denial. Not happening.

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Northants

You swipe left on 40 year olds as they are a bit young for you

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"When you realise most 25 year old don't know or jave had the pleasure of using VHS...

Or dial up Internet

Or rotary phones

Or only having 4 tv channels"

VHS? They don't even know DVD!

Ironically, they might own some vinyl records.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"When your pension seems like a large amount of money, until you realise the rising prices of food, energy and everything else"

What's a "pension"?

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Northants

"When your pension seems like a large amount of money, until you realise the rising prices of food, energy and everything else

What's a "pension"? "

I think my pension pot will pay my first month's fuel bills after retirement and that will be that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you mistake 30 somethings for 20 somethings.

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

When i used to meet my friends at the pub,.. Now we all meet at the chemist.

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By *andy 1Couple
over a year ago

northeast

when you see a young lady bent over in the street and you say to your wife i would give her one and she says what with your walking stick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the people you went school with start sharing pictures of their grandchildren on social media

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"When the people you went school with start sharing pictures of their grandchildren on social media

Oh God yes! This has happened

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When 20 Bensons and a pint was cheaper than a bag of crisps now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you realise most 25 year old don't know or jave had the pleasure of using VHS...

Or dial up Internet

Or rotary phones

Or only having 4 tv channels"

Or only having one to channel….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you get down to do a shoe lace up and have a good look around to see what else you can do whilst you are down there

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

When a pub you used to use is rebuilt in your cities Folk Museum.

(The Vulcan, Cardiff. Soon to reopen in St Fagans Folk Museum).

Gbat

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By *unx2019Couple
over a year ago

Moray

When kids ask you what you did in the war!

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By *itginger101Man
over a year ago

Termonfeckin

When your balls hang lower than your cock

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By *OXO2018Couple
over a year ago

Norfolk

When people remember you from Tease2 a club which closed in 2017

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"When you realise most 25 year old don't know or jave had the pleasure of using VHS...

Or dial up Internet

Or rotary phones

Or only having 4 tv channels"

I remember three TV channels.

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

I went into Lidl, in the centre of Belfast, this afternoon, to get some of their very highly rated Peanut Butter; when I looked around at the checkout, I was the oldest person in the line, by several decades: a very sobering realisation !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When coppers and doctors look about 15 to you.

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By *nobyMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

When you go to the barbers and they say “..and shall I trim the eyebrows sir”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When your breasts produce powder instead of milk."

Same goes with my cock after the snip.....its like dropping a bottle of talc

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By *nobyMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

When you remember the days you could go down town and pick up beer fags a few steaks and hardly spend a penny. Bloody cctv has spoiled all that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the words ‘ I’m too old for this shot’ becomes a daily quote.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You wake up and your tired.

Just permanently tired.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

[Removed by poster at 14/08/22 07:46:09]

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"When the words ‘ I’m too old for this shot’ becomes a daily quote. "

Calm down Murtaugh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You wake up and your tired.

Just permanently tired."

I’m becoming grateful that I actually wake up….

*too dark for this early hour?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Have felt it this week! Do very physical job doing my 5 hrs is ok but been doing overtime and at end of shift my back hurts and my tummy! Not had that before! Plus cycling to and from work at 65 it's catching up! Mind think the heat hasn't helped x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you leave a concert early to avoid queueing for 2 hours to get off the carpark.

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By *atisfiedSighWoman
over a year ago

NW Wiltshire

When you start telling a story that happened "a few years ago" but then realise it was more like 20 years ago.

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