FabSwingers.com forum: Who has had children they didn't want?

By *illlogan OP Man
over a year ago

Essex

Title sounds harsh but hear me out.

I know a couple that were together for 4 or 5 years, very happy together etc.

They split up a few months ago because the female decided it was time she started to try for a baby before she got too old.

The male didn't want any kids, never said he did, the female then left as she really wanted to be a mum. Fair enough guess if you both want different things.

But the male is now considering giving her a baby just so he can be back with her as they miss each other so much.

To me it sounds like he's compromising on something very serious that he may later regret.

Anyone been in this situation? Any thoughts on what he should/shouldn't do?

For context, she would take him back if he promises a child.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Situations like this only end up in resentment. I've never wanted kids so any relationship I have, they need to be on the same page too. I wouldn't compromise my needs to keep them happy and wouldn't expect them too either if they really wanted children.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's completely unfair on the child. And pretty selfish of them both IMO.

He could, in theory, have a complete change of heart when he sees the woman he loves pregnant and blooming.

Or he could think "wtf have I done" and resent her and the baby.

It's normal to have worries and reservations about becoming a parent. It's the biggest responsibility you'll ever have. So I'd therefore need to know my partner was 100% with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Goodness no. I wanted kids. My ex wife and I really wanted them. So we had 2 stupidly.

That’s a tough pill to swallow. Splitting up because one of you wants a child, or being together because one of you gave in to the others demands. Wow.

*I know it’s not that simple, it never is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Goodness no. I wanted kids. My ex wife and I really wanted them. So we had 2 stupidly.

That’s a tough pill to swallow. Splitting up because one of you wants a child, or being together because one of you gave in to the others demands. Wow.

*I know it’s not that simple, it never is. "

As kids get older though they could come to terms with parents splitting because there were issues in the relationship.

Imagine finding out you were the reason your folks split. I think that's unbelievably cruel.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

If they split I’m betting he would end up in a relationship/married and go on to have kids with something me else…. You see it happen often but it’s a big decision to take/make and coercion should never be why a child is born into this world

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