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Not really, I had it last night but that's not the point  | |||
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"Yeah, where the fuck did all these e-scooters come from? It's like demolition derby walking to the shops!" They freaked the bejeezus out of me last time I was in a city! We don't have them. Probably because there would just be piles of the feckers abandoned half way up hills where they couldn't cope. | |||
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"Can't believe it's been 4 months, 3 days, 6 hours and 24 seconds since I last had sex
Not really, I had it last night but that's not the point "Sex with a pringles box doesn't count  | |||
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"Yeah, where the fuck did all these e-scooters come from? It's like demolition derby walking to the shops! They freaked the bejeezus out of me last time I was in a city! We don't have them. Probably because there would just be piles of the feckers abandoned half way up hills where they couldn't cope." If I had one I'd take a broom and go jousting | |||
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"Can't believe it's been 4 months, 3 days, 6 hours and 24 seconds since I last had sex
Not really, I had it last night but that's not the point "Going on 11 months here  | |||
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"Can't believe it's been 4 months, 3 days, 6 hours and 24 seconds since I last had sex
Not really, I had it last night but that's not the point "Yeah... I wouldn't have believed that either 
I don't want to believe it has been 11 weeks and 5 days... and probably about 10 hours since I last had sex.
So thanks for reminding me  | |||
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"Can't believe it's been 4 months, 3 days, 6 hours and 24 seconds since I last had sex
Not really, I had it last night but that's not the point
Sex with a pringles box doesn't count "It's been 4 months, 3 days, 6 hours, 2 minutes and 12 seconds since I had sex | |||
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"Why just why are people moaning about the heat as it normally rains when schools are on summer break!" It's rained here most days! | |||
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"Can't believe it's been 4 months, 3 days, 6 hours and 24 seconds since I last had sex
Not really, I had it last night but that's not the point
Going on 11 months here "I'd offer to help but there's quite a bit of water between us | |||
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"Well fuck me, it hasn’t rained in couple of days "It's been nearly a week here! And I'm bringing the washing in tonight. Because tempting fate | |||
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"Yeah, where the fuck did all these e-scooters come from? It's like demolition derby walking to the shops! They freaked the bejeezus out of me last time I was in a city! We don't have them. Probably because there would just be piles of the feckers abandoned half way up hills where they couldn't cope. If I had one I'd take a broom and go jousting "Now that sounds fun! | |||
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"Can't believe it's been 4 months, 3 days, 6 hours and 24 seconds since I last had sex
Not really, I had it last night but that's not the point
Going on 11 months here "He is just showing off. The tease. | |||
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"Can't believe it's been 4 months, 3 days, 6 hours and 24 seconds since I last had sex
Not really, I had it last night but that's not the point
Yeah... I wouldn't have believed that either
I don't want to believe it has been 11 weeks and 5 days... and probably about 10 hours since I last had sex.
So thanks for reminding me "You're welcome | |||
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"I can't believe I've done 96 hours in my first two weeks at my new job! " Good lord. That sounds like a lot... | |||
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I mean... this situation is completely unacceptable | |||
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"Can’t believe it’s 9 months since I last had sex! " I can't believe it either! Jump on the horse. Not an actual horse though. | |||
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"Can’t believe it’s 9 months since I last had sex! I can't believe it either! Jump on the horse. Not an actual horse though." I intend to fix this, this month | |||
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"I can't believe how hairy my toes are." As hairy as your nipples? | |||
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"I can't believe how hairy my toes are. As hairy as your nipples? "Oi, I pluck those. | |||
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"I can't believe I found a huge hair on my FUCKING EAR before I came out "Where the hell do they come from? I'm sure they fall off head and then embed themselves in top of your ear | |||
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"Yeah, where the fuck did all these e-scooters come from? It's like demolition derby walking to the shops!" More environmentally friendly than walking.. Innit | |||
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"I can't believe how hairy my toes are. As hairy as your nipples?
Oi, I pluck those. "Have you considered using wax? | |||
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"I can't believe I've done 96 hours in my first two weeks at my new job! Good lord. That sounds like a lot... " It is I have swollen ankles to prove it! | |||
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"I can’t believe I pulled the skin off my tattoo "that new tattoo is gorgeous  | |||
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"I am fucking 50 on Saturday and I fucking love me, at last! "Happy 50th Birthday.  | |||
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"I can't believe how hairy my toes are. As hairy as your nipples?
Oi, I pluck those.
Have you considered using wax?"Oh hell no | |||
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"I can't believe how hairy my toes are. As hairy as your nipples?
Oi, I pluck those.
Have you considered using wax?
Oh hell no"Live a little | |||
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"I can’t believe I pulled the skin off my tattoo that new tattoo is gorgeous "Thank you. It HURTS though | |||
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"Well fuck me, which numpty decided it would be a good idea to go to a social on Saturday? And is now working out the least amount of clothing she can get away with. Farewell bra." Can you find a location that has air conditioning to meet at ? | |||
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"Can’t believe it’s 9 months since I last had sex! I can't believe it either! Jump on the horse. Not an actual horse though." I'm going to jump on* an actual horse on Thursday *Okay, I'm going to be hoiked up in a completely awkward and unbecoming way | |||
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"Well fuck me, which numpty decided it would be a good idea to go to a social on Saturday? And is now working out the least amount of clothing she can get away with. Farewell bra. Can you find a location that has air conditioning to meet at ?" Apparently the venue has got fans and air conditioning... I'm really hoping that's true! I'm sure the organisers are on it. Going to have to embrace the curls for the first time ever at a social though. | |||
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"I can't believe how hairy my toes are. As hairy as your nipples?
Oi, I pluck those.
Have you considered using wax?
Oh hell no
Live a little "I live lots, just hairy while I do. | |||
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"Well fuck me, which numpty decided it would be a good idea to go to a social on Saturday? And is now working out the least amount of clothing she can get away with. Farewell bra. Can you find a location that has air conditioning to meet at ? Apparently the venue has got fans and air conditioning... I'm really hoping that's true! I'm sure the organisers are on it. Going to have to embrace the curls for the first time ever at a social though." Oh, a group social ? I thought you meant you were meeting 'someone' and could choose where you met between just two of you. | |||
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"We're doomed "Well fuck me it’s Private Frazer | |||
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"Can't believe it's been 4 months, 3 days, 6 hours and 24 seconds since I last had sex
Not really, I had it last night but that's not the point
Going on 11 months here "Huh, amateurs | |||
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"Still can’t believe the World Cup is just be for Xmas " Which World Cup? There are many... | |||
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"Today I wrote down things about a course that'll end in 2024. Well, fuck me "What the actual fuck? Fuck me. That's only next year in 5 months | |||
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"I am fucking 50 on Saturday and I fucking love me, at last! "Well fuck me!! This is bloody excellent Ariel!! Yay! | |||
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"Still can’t believe the World Cup is just be for Xmas Which World Cup? There are many..." There can be only one | |||
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"Why just why are people moaning about the heat as it normally rains when schools are on summer break!" Because heat is sweaty... and not in a good way. | |||
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"We're doomed "Aye. True dat | |||
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"I can't believe I have zero chocolate in the house I mean... this situation is completely unacceptable "Even I have chocolate in the house! (I know this because I was cleaning the cupboard of doom in the kitchen last week and it was under a big pot) | |||
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"I can't believe my first born is 21 tomorrow!!! (posh birthday cake emoje!) "HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADY LUCK'S FIRSTBORN!! I can't believe you have a 21 year old! | |||
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"I can't believe I have zero chocolate in the house I mean... this situation is completely unacceptable
Even I have chocolate in the house! (I know this because I was cleaning the cupboard of doom in the kitchen last week and it was under a big pot)"It should be in the fridge  | |||
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"I can't believe how hairy my toes are." Ooooh oooh ooh! We should compare. | |||
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"Can’t believe it’s 9 months since I last had sex! I can't believe it either! Jump on the horse. Not an actual horse though. I intend to fix this, this month "Dooooooo it! | |||
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"1. Where did my 20s go? 2. Where did my 30s go? 3. Where did my 40s go? 4. Come to mention it, where did my 50s go?
"Um... all to the same place? The dark recesses of your memorybox | |||
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"When you’re stuck in road works in this bastard heat!!" No air con either? I feel your pain sister  | |||
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"I can’t believe I pulled the skin off my tattoo "I can. You're a poker and a picker. STOP IT. Or I will use your disregard for your body as an excuse to start up that thing again that you told me not to. | |||
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"I can't believe I have zero chocolate in the house I mean... this situation is completely unacceptable
Even I have chocolate in the house! (I know this because I was cleaning the cupboard of doom in the kitchen last week and it was under a big pot)
It should be in the fridge "You are just wrong. | |||
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"I can't believe I found a huge hair on my FUCKING EAR before I came out "I can. You're all old n shiz. | |||
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"I can't believe it is 138 days till xmas "It's been bloody Christmas here since June. Can't sell the Christmas decs if I don't make the buggers! | |||
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"I can't believe I've done 96 hours in my first two weeks at my new job! Good lord. That sounds like a lot... It is I have swollen ankles to prove it! " This is not ideal! Feet up, cool towel over them. That always helps me! | |||
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"Can't believe that in the first time I play football for..many years..I bash my leg in!" I can! This exercise shiz is dangerous!! | |||
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"Any in laindon" There are likely a fair few. But I don't know what it is you're looking for so I can't be more specific. Ooh. Fucks maybe? Probably are! Good luck on your quest! | |||
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"I can’t believe I pulled the skin off my tattoo that new tattoo is gorgeous
Thank you. It HURTS though "IF YOU PICK IT, IT WILL HURT. And look shit when it heals. STOP IT. | |||
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"Get yer Raspberry Ripples in! No, its not a euphemism.... Really, where are your thoughts today? I've got ice bags, Coca Cola, ice lolly's, cheap sparkling water from didly widly Lidly etc. I'm tooled up like a soft drinks Rambo!!! Now just that song that that 70's/80's punk group that fab won't allow you to mention to play - you know "Peaches":- "standing on the beaches, staring at the peaches..." Doooda do, dumda, dumda, doooodoodoooo (that's the base line b.t.w) Ah fuck I've forgot me Fanta. Trip to get a 10 pack me thinks? Nectar of the "Gingas!" I'd should know.... "I'm so confused right now. | |||
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"There's only a few weeks left until September and the start of school! "How the hell did this happen ffs | |||
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"I can’t believe I’m too tired to have a couple of beers "Have them this morning now you've slept! I'm so helpful  | |||
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"Well fuck me, which numpty decided it would be a good idea to go to a social on Saturday? And is now working out the least amount of clothing she can get away with. Farewell bra." Fuck that! Sweaty underboob is not a fun thing. Hope you and your free swinging boobs had a good time though! | |||
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"Can’t believe it’s 9 months since I last had sex! I can't believe it either! Jump on the horse. Not an actual horse though. I'm going to jump on* an actual horse on Thursday *Okay, I'm going to be hoiked up in a completely awkward and unbecoming way "Oooooh In a riding school or are you going free range? | |||
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"We are only on week 3 of the school summer holiday!! " I know! There have been holidaymakers around FOREVER | |||
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"I agree with most of your points but I am very confused by 6. I can't believe it's not butter." 6 is merely a repeat because I proper am baffled at how warm it is! I'm sorry to confuse. I feel guilty now | |||
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"Well fuck me said the Queen bee and thousands die in the rush " Golly. She sounds like she is gonna be busy... | |||
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"I can't believe how hairy my toes are. Ooooh oooh ooh! We should compare. " Ah dam it I shaved them last night, check back in a few weeks. | |||
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"I can't believe how many bloody staff members in asda hang around supervising the self service checkout. Stop wasting staff and open the rest of the fucking tills will you. For the sweet mother of jesus OPEN THE TILLS Ooooo it feels good to get that off my chest. Thanks. That's all Claire x" I know, right! And if they were on tills and not just hootling about chatting, there would be less queues at tills and less demand for self service tills and then people couldn't complain that the machines are taking their jobs! Ahhhh! Dammit. | |||
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"Still can’t believe the World Cup is just be for Xmas Which World Cup? There are many... There can be only one " But that isn't this year | |||
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"Fk me can’t believe time flys" It does. Faster as you get older too. | |||
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"Can I fuck you. Im sure you’ll be using the exclamation of surprise or maybe disappointment then. "But I haven't shaved my legs! | |||
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"I cant believe its not butter" You can't believe that either? | |||
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"I can't believe how hairy my toes are. Ooooh oooh ooh! We should compare. Ah dam it I shaved them last night, check back in a few weeks. " You had sex? Because surely that is the only reason to shave | |||
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"Definitely warm but a decent fan dose help "I have air con indoors... but I was outdoors last evening. | |||
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"I can't get over how much it costs to get your ears pierced " Needle and an ice cube? I mean... it worked in 'Grease' | |||
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""Well fuck me" The offer is there.. "But... I still haven't shaved my legs! | |||
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"Definitely warm but a decent fan dose help
I have air con indoors... but I was outdoors last evening."Ahh definitely dose make a difference with air con but did you enjoy yourself while out doors | |||
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"I can't get over how much it costs to get your ears pierced " Pardon? | |||
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"Definitely warm but a decent fan dose help
I have air con indoors... but I was outdoors last evening.
Ahh definitely dose make a difference with air con but did you enjoy yourself while out doors"Not really. It was outdoors. And warm. | |||
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Cherry x | |||
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"Can I fuck you. Im sure you’ll be using the exclamation of surprise or maybe disappointment then.
But I haven't shaved my legs!"Neither have I | |||
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"I can’t believe I’m too tired to have a couple of beers
Have them this morning now you've slept!
I'm so helpful "Day out with the kids and then plenty of beers tonight | |||
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"I can't believe how hairy my toes are. Ooooh oooh ooh! We should compare. Ah dam it I shaved them last night, check back in a few weeks. You had sex? Because surely that is the only reason to shave" I got all excited reading that thinking I'd had sex, but no. It was just my beauty treatment for the month. I may do my legs in September, possibly. | |||
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"Well fuck me: the price of honey has gone through the roof.. It's hot... I actually sweat from my shins... I'll be a bona-fide northerner in 23 days.... eyyy ooop Lass
Cherry x"You're actually going oop tharrr? For living? HOLY FUCKADUCKA YAYYYYYY! I mean, not in a woo hoo you're deserting us south peeps way. But... ah fuck it. You know what I mean!  | |||
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"Can I fuck you. Im sure you’ll be using the exclamation of surprise or maybe disappointment then.
But I haven't shaved my legs!
Neither have I "This sounds like it could end up a dodgy velcro type situation | |||
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"I can’t believe I’m too tired to have a couple of beers
Have them this morning now you've slept!
I'm so helpful
Day out with the kids and then plenty of beers tonight "Ooooooh! Where we going? And any answer except "the beach" is unacceptable | |||
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"I can't believe how hairy my toes are. Ooooh oooh ooh! We should compare. Ah dam it I shaved them last night, check back in a few weeks. You had sex? Because surely that is the only reason to shave I got all excited reading that thinking I'd had sex, but no. It was just my beauty treatment for the month. I may do my legs in September, possibly. " This seems a plan. I've saved all mine up for a couple of months. So I've got Dynorod on standby for next Tuesday, when I shall emerge from the bath smooth like dolphin | |||
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"Not good" Rarely is... | |||
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"Well fuck me: the price of honey has gone through the roof.. It's hot... I actually sweat from my shins... I'll be a bona-fide northerner in 23 days.... eyyy ooop Lass
Cherry x
You're actually going oop tharrr? For living?
HOLY FUCKADUCKA
YAYYYYYY! I mean, not in a woo hoo you're deserting us south peeps way. But... ah fuck it. You know what I mean! "Hahaha! Yep! It's happening! Hades deserves a medal for moving me and my shoe collection in!
Cherry x | |||
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"Well fuck me: the price of honey has gone through the roof.. It's hot... I actually sweat from my shins... I'll be a bona-fide northerner in 23 days.... eyyy ooop Lass
Cherry x
You're actually going oop tharrr? For living?
HOLY FUCKADUCKA
YAYYYYYY! I mean, not in a woo hoo you're deserting us south peeps way. But... ah fuck it. You know what I mean!
Hahaha! Yep! It's happening! Hades deserves a medal for moving me and my shoe collection in!
Cherry x"ALL of them? Duuuuuude. He is a good man
I'm having a little party in my pants over this right now xxx | |||
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"People that stand dithering in shop doorways, will be smited!! Fuck me they're annoying. They're as bad as those people that footle at the top (or bottom) of escalators. " Oh fuck me. They absolutely are. Twatwaffles. | |||
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"People that stand dithering in shop doorways, will be smited!! Fuck me they're annoying. They're as bad as those people that footle at the top (or bottom) of escalators. " Or those who congregate in supermarket isles with a friend they haven't seen since 1987 and aunt Maud who forgot what she came in for. Get out my bloody way arghhhhh Claire | |||
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"People that stand dithering in shop doorways, will be smited!! Fuck me they're annoying. They're as bad as those people that footle at the top (or bottom) of escalators. Or those who congregate in supermarket isles with a friend they haven't seen since 1987 and aunt Maud who forgot what she came in for. Get out my bloody way arghhhhh Claire " Yes, they also deserve a bump from the cattle prod of justice !! | |||
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"People that stand dithering in shop doorways, will be smited!! Fuck me they're annoying. They're as bad as those people that footle at the top (or bottom) of escalators. Or those who congregate in supermarket isles with a friend they haven't seen since 1987 and aunt Maud who forgot what she came in for. Get out my bloody way arghhhhh Claire " I'm concerned that we are maybe the grumpy old people... because YES! | |||
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"People that stand dithering in shop doorways, will be smited!! Fuck me they're annoying. They're as bad as those people that footle at the top (or bottom) of escalators. Or those who congregate in supermarket isles with a friend they haven't seen since 1987 and aunt Maud who forgot what she came in for. Get out my bloody way arghhhhh Claire I'm concerned that we are maybe the grumpy old people... because YES!" That's ok, don't worry about it. The joy of been old people is we don't have to give a fuck. Go with it, free that rage, it's good for the soul. This is my most favourite fab post of all time Feels a bit like therapy | |||
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"People that stand dithering in shop doorways, will be smited!! Fuck me they're annoying. They're as bad as those people that footle at the top (or bottom) of escalators. Or those who congregate in supermarket isles with a friend they haven't seen since 1987 and aunt Maud who forgot what she came in for. Get out my bloody way arghhhhh Claire I'm concerned that we are maybe the grumpy old people... because YES! That's ok, don't worry about it. The joy of been old people is we don't have to give a fuck. Go with it, free that rage, it's good for the soul. This is my most favourite fab post of all time Feels a bit like therapy "Aww thanks! It is good to let loose once in a while! | |||
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"I can’t believe … someone as fabulous as me Is Single " I can't believe that! | |||
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"And can we appreciate your boobs Miss P "I don't know, Miss F... can you? | |||
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"Well Fucks me..... Another time waster" Sorry | |||
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"Wtf a cucumber up your arse!! Putting salad that way does not constute one of your five a day!!!" It's a lifestyle choice for sure. I wonder if it still makes you burp? | |||
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"And can we appreciate your boobs Miss P
I don't know, Miss F... can you? "Oh I can  | |||
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"I can't believe that I can't believe" You can always believe. Have faith. A little faith in me (and now I'm singing) | |||
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"Wtf a cucumber up your arse!! Putting salad that way does not constute one of your five a day!!!" I may have watched that video earlier....
Cherry x | |||
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"Do we still have rain in England?......I can't remember. " Well fuck me... your memory is really bad! | |||
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