FabSwingers.com forum: Saying no

By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

What is the best way to tell people you're not interested in them without offending them?

We seem to get abuse back or people trying to persuade us otherwise with comments like 'I would give you multiple orgasms' forgetting we are a couple!

Don't get us wrong some people are absolutely respectful about it but the majority are not.

How would you like to be told no?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My go to is sorry your not for me but I do wish you the best off luck and happy swingeing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say thanks for the message and pics but I’m afraid you’re not for me but I wish you well.

Most of the time that’s fine but I have had abuse back or asked why they aren’t my type etc.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I’d really live to meet, great, fuck and suck you, however my Herpes has flared up and my genitals look like a bowl of reddish black cornflakes. Once they have healed up, I’ll drop you a line. In the mean time, keep on trucking!

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Jusr say no or no thank you , don’t say sorry unless you’ve done something wrong.

You’re better off not giving any reason, you don’t need to and it won’t help them or change anything. My no is my no , I like using it !

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By *untogetherCouple
over a year ago

Malaga, Spain, Not in U. K.

We tend to say: thanks for reaching out! We've had a look at your profile and don't think we are for you. Happy fabbing!

We try to be respectful and friendly as possible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's no reply that's polite enough to stop entitled people abusing, arguing or complaining. It's not your fault they can't accept "no".

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By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

That's pretty much exactly what we say. Say thanks for the message and good luck etc but some people can just be really rude and don't accept it!

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By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"There's no reply that's polite enough to stop entitled people abusing, arguing or complaining. It's not your fault they can't accept "no". "

You hit the nail on the head haha

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By *untogetherCouple
over a year ago

Malaga, Spain, Not in U. K.

"That's pretty much exactly what we say. Say thanks for the message and good luck etc but some people can just be really rude and don't accept it! "

If they message again after that it's a block for us.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

Thanks a lot for your message, you're very cute but I'm just not looking to meet right now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We say they're not for us and wish them well. We then block so we don't get any follow up. Unless we've vibed and it's a distance thing. In which case we'd be happy to still chat and remain friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's no reply that's polite enough to stop entitled people abusing, arguing or complaining. It's not your fault they can't accept "no".

You hit the nail on the head haha"

Afraid so. I started off feeling guilty but I don't give any fucks now. I'm polite when I say no. That's enough.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"I don't give out any fucks now. "

Timewaster

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

I send a polite reply saying no thank you & not for us

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By *londeHotwife87Couple
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

"That's pretty much exactly what we say. Say thanks for the message and good luck etc but some people can just be really rude and don't accept it!

If they message again after that it's a block for us."

We had our first experience like this last night - guy wouldn’t stop message despite us saying a polite thanks but no thanks, and then started to insult us.

Reported them to Fab as frankly nobody has the right to send abuse like we received.

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By *rg4Man
over a year ago

hunktown

I can’t stand being told no, don’t think anyone likes it tbf. I just block though don’t give any abuse. I think some people are just weird on the internet

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By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"That's pretty much exactly what we say. Say thanks for the message and good luck etc but some people can just be really rude and don't accept it!

If they message again after that it's a block for us."

Some guy literally told us he will be waiting for us outside a school on a certain road. It's so weird!!! He's been blocked now!

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I just delete and block.

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By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"I can’t stand being told no, don’t think anyone likes it tbf. I just block though don’t give any abuse. I think some people are just weird on the internet "

Oh yeah nobody likes to be told no but surely people understand that not everybody is going to be into everyone haha. Yeah people are so weird on the Internet for sure

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By *untogetherCouple
over a year ago

Malaga, Spain, Not in U. K.

"That's pretty much exactly what we say. Say thanks for the message and good luck etc but some people can just be really rude and don't accept it!

If they message again after that it's a block for us.

We had our first experience like this last night - guy wouldn’t stop message despite us saying a polite thanks but no thanks, and then started to insult us.

Reported them to Fab as frankly nobody has the right to send abuse like we received."

Some people just suck ( and I don't mean that in the good way)! I try to choose my words carefully , whick is why I say that WE are not for them, instead of saying.. THEY are not for us. I try to put the blame squarely on us. We have had very few abuse us, or people who keep messaging since I have switched my wording about. Not sure if it's because of the wording or just have gotten lucky to have people who accept and move on.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Been here long enough over the years to accept that I don't fit some people criteria, so if I get a no thanks or a not for me, I say thanks for the reply and happy fabbing, don't see any point in getting nasty.

At the end of the day it's their choice.

The fact that they are missing out on the best thing since sliced bread again is their choice

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By *untogetherCouple
over a year ago

Malaga, Spain, Not in U. K.

"That's pretty much exactly what we say. Say thanks for the message and good luck etc but some people can just be really rude and don't accept it!

If they message again after that it's a block for us.

Some guy literally told us he will be waiting for us outside a school on a certain road. It's so weird!!! He's been blocked now!"

Doesn't sound like he needs to be allowed anywhere near a school if he can't take a polite no!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's no reply that's polite enough to stop entitled people abusing, arguing or complaining. It's not your fault they can't accept "no". "

This!

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By *VanManMan
over a year ago

Pontefract/Doncaster

I received this the other day.

(Sounds very interesting. We are, at the moment, overwhelmed with offers - many as tempting as yours. But for now, we'll have to pass)

Very nice way to say no. Problem is some people don't understand no is no and there has to be a spark to make things work, even if it's a NSA meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the words of dr evil hows abouts no ya crazy dutch bastard

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By *rg4Man
over a year ago

hunktown

"I can’t stand being told no, don’t think anyone likes it tbf. I just block though don’t give any abuse. I think some people are just weird on the internet

Oh yeah nobody likes to be told no but surely people understand that not everybody is going to be into everyone haha. Yeah people are so weird on the Internet for sure"

I don’t get it why people abuse. Ego is hurt probably

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By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"That's pretty much exactly what we say. Say thanks for the message and good luck etc but some people can just be really rude and don't accept it!

If they message again after that it's a block for us.

We had our first experience like this last night - guy wouldn’t stop message despite us saying a polite thanks but no thanks, and then started to insult us.

Reported them to Fab as frankly nobody has the right to send abuse like we received.

That's a great idea. Thank you.

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By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"Been here long enough over the years to accept that I don't fit some people criteria, so if I get a no thanks or a not for me, I say thanks for the reply and happy fabbing, don't see any point in getting nasty.

At the end of the day it's their choice.

The fact that they are missing out on the best thing since sliced bread again is their choice

Hahaha!

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By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"That's pretty much exactly what we say. Say thanks for the message and good luck etc but some people can just be really rude and don't accept it!

If they message again after that it's a block for us.

Some guy literally told us he will be waiting for us outside a school on a certain road. It's so weird!!! He's been blocked now!

Doesn't sound like he needs to be allowed anywhere near a school if he can't take a polite no! "

Exactly!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say no thanks.

Press block button.

Drama averted.

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By *untogetherCouple
over a year ago

Malaga, Spain, Not in U. K.

FYI OP, I absolutely adore your bathing suits! They are so cute!

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By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Thank you for all the replies guys

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By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"FYI OP, I absolutely adore your bathing suits! They are so cute!

Awww thank you so much! They're from Shein and PLT nothing special haha x

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By *od ThrusterMan
over a year ago

Newport Pagnell

I'd rather not be told no, but in reality I often am. As long as it's done politely I don't care about the actual wording. I'm not arrogant enough to think everyone I mail will want to play with me, so when they say no I shrug and move on. Same if they just delete me email. Why waste time and energy abusing someone who has clearly chosen not to play with me, it'll hardly make them change their mind will it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I received this the other day.

(Sounds very interesting. We are, at the moment, overwhelmed with offers - many as tempting as yours. But for now, we'll have to pass)

Very nice way to say no. Problem is some people don't understand no is no and there has to be a spark to make things work, even if it's a NSA meet."

As much as i agree you have to give people a chance. You cant get a spark unless you get to know someone so i see all sides. Giving abuse is wrong but also men/women/couples say you are not for them but dont explain exactly what they mean.

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By *abasaurus RexMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"What is the best way to tell people you're not interested in them without offending them?

We seem to get abuse back or people trying to persuade us otherwise with comments like 'I would give you multiple orgasms' forgetting we are a couple!

Don't get us wrong some people are absolutely respectful about it but the majority are not.

How would you like to be told no?"

Just don’t reply or say ‘Thanks, you’re not our cup of tea though’ or something.

As long as it’s polite that’s fine. The people that send you abuse are probably going to be offended by any form of rejection. I’d just block those people and forget about it; don’t spend too much time worrying if you’ve offended them or whatever.

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By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"I received this the other day.

(Sounds very interesting. We are, at the moment, overwhelmed with offers - many as tempting as yours. But for now, we'll have to pass)

Very nice way to say no. Problem is some people don't understand no is no and there has to be a spark to make things work, even if it's a NSA meet.

For us saying they are not for us basically is us trying to be polite and saying we are not attracted to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Truth is whichever way you say it, it's not going to feel nice for them as no one likes rejection. I usually just say that I'm looking for something a little different but thank you anyway. And remember just saying that is enough, you don't owe anyone an explanation.

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By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"Truth is whichever way you say it, it's not going to feel nice for them as no one likes rejection. I usually just say that I'm looking for something a little different but thank you anyway. And remember just saying that is enough, you don't owe anyone an explanation."

Yeah we have tried that before and then it's usually followed up with 'well what are you looking for' haha!

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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago

Wombwell, Barnsley

"I received this the other day.

(Sounds very interesting. We are, at the moment, overwhelmed with offers - many as tempting as yours. But for now, we'll have to pass)

Very nice way to say no. Problem is some people don't understand no is no and there has to be a spark to make things work, even if it's a NSA meet.

No-one has to explain anything. A no should be enough, I think.

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By *abasaurus RexMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Yeah we have tried that before and then it's usually followed up with 'well what are you looking for' haha!"

Just don’t reply after that. If they keep pestering, then ban hammer with a block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the best way to tell people you're not interested in them without offending them?

We seem to get abuse back or people trying to persuade us otherwise with comments like 'I would give you multiple orgasms' forgetting we are a couple!

Don't get us wrong some people are absolutely respectful about it but the majority are not.

How would you like to be told no?"

Just be honest with me and say your not for me, but it’s sad that you get abuse by people when you do say no

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Usually say they’re not for me, wish them well etc

But some just won’t take no for an answer. Pests get blocked abusive get reported and then blocked. No point letting them get in your head.

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

We always meet up for a drink and chat and if we don't want to meet again it a reply something like.

"Thanks for meeting us last night, we had a great time but won't be taking it any further".

If we get an OK thanks for your reply, no issues. Any form of abuse, it's a block.

We always block people who don't match what we are looking for, so we don't bother them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I received this the other day.

(Sounds very interesting. We are, at the moment, overwhelmed with offers - many as tempting as yours. But for now, we'll have to pass)

Very nice way to say no. Problem is some people don't understand no is no and there has to be a spark to make things work, even if it's a NSA meet.

For us saying they are not for us basically is us trying to be polite and saying we are not attracted to them."

Same here

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I usually send a polite “thank you for reaching out but not what I’m looking for atm, all the best” when I see someone put an effort in their message.

Basic one liners, straight sex talking, name calling or dick picture attached - I’ll delete without reading. When they follow up with “???”, “u shy?” or other bs, then I’ll block.

Otherwise I’m really trying to be as much respectful as I can.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

For any sane well balanced person a simple - thanks but I’m not feeling a tingle is fine - its about attraction and if theres no tingle then there’s no Point its not a relationship as such. Doesn’t matter how polite you are probably 50% +. Will be arsey as they think fab is a fuck site and if you’re here you’d fuck anything xxx the others would be as youd expect - mature enough to move on. No drama

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I received this the other day.

(Sounds very interesting. We are, at the moment, overwhelmed with offers - many as tempting as yours. But for now, we'll have to pass)

Very nice way to say no. Problem is some people don't understand no is no and there has to be a spark to make things work, even if it's a NSA meet.

Why do you have to give people a chance? Why does anyone have to explain in detail why they're not attracted?

In my experience of looking for someone, I know whether I am attracted physically immediately. And if someone is outside of my parameters (age, distance etc) I just say no. The more detail I give the more likely they are to argue with me. This has happened more times than I care to remember. If I say why I am not physically attracted - it's going to be worse for the person being rejected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I decide to contact someone I always put at the end of my message " I completely understand if not your type or choose not to respond". I feel it takes the pressure of them having to send the 100th No message of that day lol.

I am polite and try to word my messages to include what they are looking for and what attracted me to their profile.

If I don't receive a response in a few days I just delete and remove photos ( if sent).

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By *idsAndyMan
over a year ago

Worcestershire

Just be polite, if they're offended and you've been polite then there's little you can do about it. X

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By *od ThrusterMan
over a year ago

Newport Pagnell

"When I decide to contact someone I always put at the end of my message " I completely understand if not your type or choose not to respond". I feel it takes the pressure of them having to send the 100th No message of that day lol.

I am polite and try to word my messages to include what they are looking for and what attracted me to their profile.

Same. It's about making people feel at ease. Very few people respond well to being pressured.

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By *umagain58Man
over a year ago

London

I am polite and try to word my messages to include what they are looking for and what attracted me to their profile.

If I don't receive a response in a few days I just delete and remove photos ( if sent).

Agree entirely. Does not cost you anything being nice. Treat how you would like to be treated. We are all different and may be looking for different things so respect that

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By *evonspankMan
over a year ago

Tiverton

My wife says No in various ways. Her favourite is:

"For god's sake go and have a wank you horny twat".

She then turns over and goes to sleep.

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

As nice and polite as it is to reply not for me etc, I just delete any messages I'm not interested in as they can get round any future filters if you interact with them and then you have to block

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By *dventurous biMan
over a year ago

tesside

Getting a reply is rare in itself. If you don’t reply I take that as a ‘no thanks’ and move on.

If I get a ‘not for us’ reply I accept that too.

I don’t know how I respond to a ‘super, let’s meet up’ message…

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

I'd honestly just rather have my messaged deleted. If I'm not for you I don't need an explanation why, it's fine!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As nice and polite as it is to reply not for me etc, I just delete any messages I'm not interested in as they can get round any future filters if you interact with them and then you have to block

Just putting this out there after seeing your profile " Gulp

" and definitely won't message

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

I just say no thanks, and then ignore any other communication even if thats in person . I am happy to just physically turn my back on other people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our got to response is “Thanks for the message but you’re not what we are looking for”

90% of the time we don’t get a reply so I guess it works.

9% we get “Thanks for replying. Happy fabbing”

1% we get abuse or “why not?”

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

"Our got to response is “Thanks for the message but you’re not what we are looking for”

90% of the time we don’t get a reply so I guess it works.

9% we get “Thanks for replying. Happy fabbing”

1% we get abuse or “why not?”"

Or “can we just chat until you can maybe change your mind?”

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Just tell them they remind you of your sibling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'No offence, but we're not interested'

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By *idsAndyMan
over a year ago

Worcestershire

"Just tell them they remind you of your sibling

I've had this

defiantly a brush off but hey ho it did make me smile x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gave a polite no thanks ect this morning and got a reply saying..

What's boiling your cornflakes this morning be happy it's a sunny day....

blocked

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By *untogetherCouple
over a year ago

Malaga, Spain, Not in U. K.

"Just tell them they remind you of your sibling

I have had to say that once...he really did look like my brother...that was a hard and fast no thanks!

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Just say they are not for you. If they get offended then delete and block. How cares if they are offended? Any decent person would understand that some people are not interested in them.

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By *picknspanMan
over a year ago

North West Leeds

I generally don't worry about this as I so rarely get the opportunity to reject someone

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By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago

Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove

I check profiles before opening messages, if they’re not what I’m looking for I block them and delete the message unread

Gone are they days where I sent a polite thanks but no thanks - I just get message back which say that they wanted to fuck me not date me

No reply is an accepted polite no thank you in fab rules apparently, so I stick with that

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By *cunnylassCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

We don't reply if we're not interested.It seems to work because that's the end of the matter.

M and M

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By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"Just tell them they remind you of your sibling

Hahaha brilliant

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

[Removed by poster at 08/08/22 15:18:39]

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By *ORBCouple
over a year ago

Dundalk

So far on this profile we've told a few that they aren't what we are looking for and most have accepted that.

We told one that we weren't interested because he obviously hadn't read the profile and introduced himself with details of what he was capable of. He didn't take our refusal just as well.

We have both had varied reactions when saying no on our single profiles and in particular I've had a number of women and couples who have retorted with the old "do you not know who I am?", "do you know who I've met on here?" or "have you any idea how long I've been on this site?".

I've always been polite when saying no but some just don't understand the word no or aren't used to hearing it. RB

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

A simple no does it for me. I take it and move on

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By *ovelifelovefuntimesMan
over a year ago

Where ever I lay my hat

A thank you for your message but you aren't for us works for me. Never any offence taken.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Thanks for your message. I don't want to meet but I wish you great times with someone else soon.

Bye x ( BLOCK )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for your message. I don't want to meet but I wish you great times with someone else soon.

Bye x ( BLOCK ) "

I thought I was the only one thinking that simply.

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

"What is the best way to tell people you're not interested in them without offending them?

We seem to get abuse back or people trying to persuade us otherwise with comments like 'I would give you multiple orgasms' forgetting we are a couple!

Don't get us wrong some people are absolutely respectful about it but the majority are not.

How would you like to be told no?"

Personally we respect a no or no response and move on but so many others do not.

Best all round way is just to block if you are not interested. Saves a lot of hassle. Might not be the nicest solution but it does the job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My go to is sorry your not for me but I do wish you the best off luck and happy swingeing "

This if the reply nasty just block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I add a note to their profile saying their was no attraction after politely saying you look like a lovely couple/girl but you aren’t for us. Happy fabbing

The notes are great as it means that if we end up at an event or something together and they say/we see we’ve chatted before I’ll know pics were shared

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

There is no easy way of saying no and not getting abuse back if that is how the receiver of the rejection is going to react. All you can do is politely say no thank you you are not what we are looking for. If they then send abuse simply block and report.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I add a note to their profile saying their was no attraction after politely saying you look like a lovely couple/girl but you aren’t for us. Happy fabbing

The notes are great as it means that if we end up at an event or something together and they say/we see we’ve chatted before I’ll know pics were shared "

And if they reply and are rude, I copy and paste the message to the notes and then block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to be polite with most people and most people accept it but its the small percentage of people on here who just come across as needy and pushy and I don't think it would matter what u say to these people they just wake up and chose to be this way

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By *untogetherCouple
over a year ago

Malaga, Spain, Not in U. K.

"I add a note to their profile saying their was no attraction after politely saying you look like a lovely couple/girl but you aren’t for us. Happy fabbing

The notes are great as it means that if we end up at an event or something together and they say/we see we’ve chatted before I’ll know pics were shared "

Excellent use of the tools available! I just found the notes bit and have started using them so I can remember why I am or am not interested in them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Our got to response is “Thanks for the message but you’re not what we are looking for”

90% of the time we don’t get a reply so I guess it works.

9% we get “Thanks for replying. Happy fabbing”

1% we get abuse or “why not?”

Or “can we just chat until you can maybe change your mind?”

Unless they say something extremely interesting we usually don’t reply to any follow up messages.

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By *he Artful TodgerMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire but travel

"What is the best way to tell people you're not interested in them without offending them?

We seem to get abuse back or people trying to persuade us otherwise with comments like 'I would give you multiple orgasms' forgetting we are a couple!

Don't get us wrong some people are absolutely respectful about it but the majority are not.

How would you like to be told no?"

I’ve used a polite “Sorry not my type, happy fabbing though”…. Courteous and not too harsh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would just say, sorry you aren't for us.

You will get the grown up responses or the idiots who are abusive.

Just block the abusive ones and move on.

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By *he Artful TodgerMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire but travel

"I’d really live to meet, great, fuck and suck you, however my Herpes has flared up and my genitals look like a bowl of reddish black cornflakes. Once they have healed up, I’ll drop you a line. In the mean time, keep on trucking!

Do t suppose you’re an economic advisor to the government…?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Just say no ..then they know

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By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"I add a note to their profile saying their was no attraction after politely saying you look like a lovely couple/girl but you aren’t for us. Happy fabbing

The notes are great as it means that if we end up at an event or something together and they say/we see we’ve chatted before I’ll know pics were shared "

How do you add notes? That's a good idea

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

If anyone says no to me I just wish them well and move on.

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By *euve4usCouple
over a year ago

Teddington

We have a couple of responses where we have a message and depends on the type of message received.

If they haven’t read our profile (we can usually tell) then we say

“Thanks for your message however as per our profile preferences clearly stated We are not a match and wish you luck finding fun.”

If they might have read our profile or are close to our preferences but not for us.

“Thanks for your message however we don’t see a match and wish you happy fabbing”

If someone appears to have made an effort with a message then we usually reply with one of the above - yes it’s admin however it’s a 5 second copy and paste and being polite in our view.

If they come back either abusive or asking lots of questions/justifying/pleading it’s a block for ignoring our polite rejection. If they send inappropriate messages it’s an automatic block.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Either "no thanks" "not for me thanks" or if they've already messaged, haven't read profile etc "not interested"

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

"We have a couple of responses where we have a message and depends on the type of message received.

If they haven’t read our profile (we can usually tell) then we say

“Thanks for your message however as per our profile preferences clearly stated We are not a match and wish you luck finding fun.”

If they might have read our profile or are close to our preferences but not for us.

“Thanks for your message however we don’t see a match and wish you happy fabbing”

If someone appears to have made an effort with a message then we usually reply with one of the above - yes it’s admin however it’s a 5 second copy and paste and being polite in our view.

If they come back either abusive or asking lots of questions/justifying/pleading it’s a block for ignoring our polite rejection. If they send inappropriate messages it’s an automatic block. "

Yes! Correct on not reading your bio.. We get a lot of "you guy's are hot" but on looking at theirs it states "only interested in ladies"

The common one is either of us don't find them attractive, so it's honestly "thank you, but the attraction isn't there for both of us"

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

i thank them for there reply, wish them well have fun and be happy,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I add a note to their profile saying their was no attraction after politely saying you look like a lovely couple/girl but you aren’t for us. Happy fabbing

The notes are great as it means that if we end up at an event or something together and they say/we see we’ve chatted before I’ll know pics were shared

How do you add notes? That's a good idea"

It’s in the same list as add as friend, verify etc. just click add a private note and write a bit and save. A little icon will appear beside their name. You can also add a note and read a note after you block someone. If I block I always add a note so I know why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like zammo did just say no

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I can be quute blunt 'thanks for your message but I'm not interested', actually comes up on my phone as predicted text

I've only had a few guys ask why, which I ignore!

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By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"I add a note to their profile saying their was no attraction after politely saying you look like a lovely couple/girl but you aren’t for us. Happy fabbing

The notes are great as it means that if we end up at an event or something together and they say/we see we’ve chatted before I’ll know pics were shared

How do you add notes? That's a good idea

Thank you for that

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By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Thank you everyone for your responses

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I say thanks your message and compliments (usually how they start their way in) however you aren’t for us.

Happy hunting.

As it’s addressed by the male I don’t tend to get many come backs.

Although one guy did say if C read this message would it be a different response

Erm well since you have just cock pics or no profile wording then it’s safe to say I don’t need to confer with C on this one

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"What is the best way to tell people you're not interested in them without offending them?

We seem to get abuse back or people trying to persuade us otherwise with comments like 'I would give you multiple orgasms' forgetting we are a couple!

Don't get us wrong some people are absolutely respectful about it but the majority are not.

How would you like to be told no?"

If anyone is offended by a no thank you:

A) they should not be swinging in the first place!

B) they reaffirmed your decision that you were right to not want to play with them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as you're not abusive, I would take a no and as a no and say thank you for letting me know and all the best.

It's good of you to reply to let them know as a lot don't for the very reason you described. Unfortunately, I think some men are thinking with their frustrated little head over their big one when they send those responses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the best way to tell people you're not interested in them without offending them?

We seem to get abuse back or people trying to persuade us otherwise with comments like 'I would give you multiple orgasms' forgetting we are a couple!

Don't get us wrong some people are absolutely respectful about it but the majority are not.

How would you like to be told no?"

No means no you shouldn’t have to explain yourself or say no more than once ….just say no sorry not for us and that’s it ….block and move on if you do get abuse it’s as simple as that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/08/22 01:36:43]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 09/08/22 01:36:43]"

Twonk.

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By *o scandalousWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Thanks for your message. Had a wee read at your profile and I’m not what you’re looking for.

Then block them immediately!

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

Politely decline then if it carries on do one and block

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By *otwifeEmilyUK OP Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Thank you all x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get turned down all the time??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you but no thank you, happy fabbing

Miss S x

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

My default is "I am not going to take this any further"

I offend people all the time even with being kind so, as long as my manners are present then its all good

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"My default is "I am not going to take this any further"

I offend people all the time even with being kind so, as long as my manners are present then its all good

I'm offended, C.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"My default is "I am not going to take this any further"

I offend people all the time even with being kind so, as long as my manners are present then its all good

I'm offended, C."

You can tell me that in December with a pint

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

“No” is a complete sentence.

Anyone who can’t accept it at any point is not worth your time and you shouldn’t need to pander to those that don’t respect or understand that

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"My default is "I am not going to take this any further"

I offend people all the time even with being kind so, as long as my manners are present then its all good

I'm offended, C.

You can tell me that in December with a pint

Deal! I'll hold you to that. If not before

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I've always just been straight up and said I'm sorry but there is no attraction, I've only had a couple of people be funny with me about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/08/22 09:57:34]

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By *risxbrisxMan
over a year ago

Bristol

I don't reply, just delete and block.

I used to politely reply until someone started being overly creepy saying they will see me around and will be watching me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*my spelling is aweful.

There’s a lot of you who have been very polite with me, and I appreciate that over ‘ignored is a polite no.’ But that’s just me.

Nobody is trying to ‘butt hurt’ people, if they are, that’s clearly nastiness and it will come off that way. And the same with a reply if you’ve tried your honest in declining to meet someone.

Op, a nice direct hint that protects a possible fragile person is a good way to go. But make it clear. It’s a no. Don’t make it sound anything but what it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm starting to feel left out. We don't get abusive messages on either our couple profile or her ladyship's HW one.

Are we simply not worth getting disappointed and angry at?

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By *ixiePoisonWoman
over a year ago

Darlington

I got abused 3 times yesterday, once for ignoring their messages, and twice for not explaining "no thanks"

One said we (women) are all sluts on a sex site, and we should fuck anyone!

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

"I got abused 3 times yesterday, once for ignoring their messages, and twice for not explaining "no thanks"

One said we (women) are all sluts on a sex site, and we should fuck anyone! "

You should reply...

Quite right sir, we are all sluts, including me and I do tend to fuck everyone but sadly I have to draw the line somewhere and you are well underneath this line but thanks so much for your kind reply and comments, cut of your jib and all that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No thank you if that fails a straight fuck off and block normally works

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