FabSwingers.com forum: First message

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What’s the perfect first message for someone to send you?

We all have different things we like so I wondered what you all think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it has to include humour, charm, slightly cockiness, ending on a tease for me to reply to x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But I'm a perfectionist, so here's hoping lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nothing wrong with being a perfectionist

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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago

Gleam Street

Anything that alludes to my profile kinda helps... at least they've bothered to read it

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Just getting a message from a lady is a good start in my book

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I'm a perfectionist, so here's hoping lol "

You don’t ask for much

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Start by actually reading the profile first. Base your message on this.

For example I say I don't do phone sex and don't use kik etc yet I get so many first messages asking for these.

Instant delete right there.

Ask a question based on the profile to show that you are interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I enjoy a little humour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I'm a perfectionist, so here's hoping lol

You don’t ask for much

Tell me about it, I'm so picky I'm my own worst enemy

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Depends entirely on...

The day of the week

The time of day

My mood

How tired I am

What my hormones are doing

If I fancy talking

How many messages I have

How busy I am

If I have coffee

If my back hurts

If my head hurts

Whether I'm feeling like a comedy genius

How long it has been since I last had the sexy times

How long it is until I next will be having the sexy times

Whether my knickers are cutting into me or falling down

If I put knickers on

How many stars I can see from the position I am in at the time

What the profile of the person sending the message is like

What the pictures of the person sending the message is like

Whether I have enjoyed the person's forum posts

If I actually venture into my inbox

(This is not an exhaustive list, but a snapshot. One, more than one, all or more than all of these things may apply at any given time)

What I'm trying to say is... there is no such thing as the perfect message. Sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I'm a perfectionist, so here's hoping lol

You don’t ask for much

Tell me about it, I'm so picky I'm my own worst enemy

I prefer not to receive any at all anymore

My favourite kind of message is someone who’s got a clear face pic and says simply that want to try a club, what night they want to go and where and then they take my advice and go! And then they get to love it and tell me all about it! Non pushy, respectful and just leave me alone if I don’t reply

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

It's an enigma. Almost all messages I send are read with very very few replies.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

"Depends entirely on...

The day of the week

The time of day

My mood

How tired I am

What my hormones are doing

If I fancy talking

How many messages I have

How busy I am

If I have coffee

If my back hurts

If my head hurts

Whether I'm feeling like a comedy genius

How long it has been since I last had the sexy times

How long it is until I next will be having the sexy times

Whether my knickers are cutting into me or falling down

If I put knickers on

How many stars I can see from the position I am in at the time

What the profile of the person sending the message is like

What the pictures of the person sending the message is like

Whether I have enjoyed the person's forum posts

If I actually venture into my inbox

(This is not an exhaustive list, but a snapshot. One, more than one, all or more than all of these things may apply at any given time)

What I'm trying to say is... there is no such thing as the perfect message. Sorry."

What she said

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Depends entirely on...

The day of the week

The time of day

My mood

How tired I am

What my hormones are doing

If I fancy talking

How many messages I have

How busy I am

If I have coffee

If my back hurts

If my head hurts

Whether I'm feeling like a comedy genius

How long it has been since I last had the sexy times

How long it is until I next will be having the sexy times

Whether my knickers are cutting into me or falling down

If I put knickers on

How many stars I can see from the position I am in at the time

What the profile of the person sending the message is like

What the pictures of the person sending the message is like

Whether I have enjoyed the person's forum posts

If I actually venture into my inbox

(This is not an exhaustive list, but a snapshot. One, more than one, all or more than all of these things may apply at any given time)

What I'm trying to say is... there is no such thing as the perfect message. Sorry."

Ok maybe I used the wrong wording by saying “perfect message “

Maybe ideal message would be a better choice of wording

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

"Depends entirely on...

The day of the week

The time of day

My mood

How tired I am

What my hormones are doing

If I fancy talking

How many messages I have

How busy I am

If I have coffee

If my back hurts

If my head hurts

Whether I'm feeling like a comedy genius

How long it has been since I last had the sexy times

How long it is until I next will be having the sexy times

Whether my knickers are cutting into me or falling down

If I put knickers on

How many stars I can see from the position I am in at the time

What the profile of the person sending the message is like

What the pictures of the person sending the message is like

Whether I have enjoyed the person's forum posts

If I actually venture into my inbox

(This is not an exhaustive list, but a snapshot. One, more than one, all or more than all of these things may apply at any given time)

What I'm trying to say is... there is no such thing as the perfect message. Sorry.

Ok maybe I used the wrong wording by saying “perfect message “

Maybe ideal message would be a better choice of wording "

Probably best just asking if they fancy a fuck

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Depends entirely on...

The day of the week

The time of day

My mood

How tired I am

What my hormones are doing

If I fancy talking

How many messages I have

How busy I am

If I have coffee

If my back hurts

If my head hurts

Whether I'm feeling like a comedy genius

How long it has been since I last had the sexy times

How long it is until I next will be having the sexy times

Whether my knickers are cutting into me or falling down

If I put knickers on

How many stars I can see from the position I am in at the time

What the profile of the person sending the message is like

What the pictures of the person sending the message is like

Whether I have enjoyed the person's forum posts

If I actually venture into my inbox

(This is not an exhaustive list, but a snapshot. One, more than one, all or more than all of these things may apply at any given time)

What I'm trying to say is... there is no such thing as the perfect message. Sorry.

Ok maybe I used the wrong wording by saying “perfect message “

Maybe ideal message would be a better choice of wording "

Same thing applies though. Sorry.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Depends entirely on...

The day of the week

The time of day

My mood

How tired I am

What my hormones are doing

If I fancy talking

How many messages I have

How busy I am

If I have coffee

If my back hurts

If my head hurts

Whether I'm feeling like a comedy genius

How long it has been since I last had the sexy times

How long it is until I next will be having the sexy times

Whether my knickers are cutting into me or falling down

If I put knickers on

How many stars I can see from the position I am in at the time

What the profile of the person sending the message is like

What the pictures of the person sending the message is like

Whether I have enjoyed the person's forum posts

If I actually venture into my inbox

(This is not an exhaustive list, but a snapshot. One, more than one, all or more than all of these things may apply at any given time)

What I'm trying to say is... there is no such thing as the perfect message. Sorry.

Ok maybe I used the wrong wording by saying “perfect message “

Maybe ideal message would be a better choice of wording

Same thing applies though. Sorry.

"
oh really? Bloody hell

That’s me out of options then lol

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By *ornyvirginphxWoman
over a year ago

phoenix

Ideal? Say something that tells me you read my profile - be specific about why you’re interested in me, and importantly, why i might be interested in you (read my profile) And make sure you have pics in your profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anything that alludes to my profile kinda helps... at least they've bothered to read it "

This!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A knock knock joke.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I'm just grateful to get any messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best thing to send us is something different.

Something nobody else has said. That’ll get our attention more than anything.

Other than that just something that shows they’ve read the profile and match what we are looking for or maybe an engaging question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean, I don't really get cold calls to begin with but if I had to say, humour, make me chuckle in the least and I'll reply regardless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me personally a first message can be as simple as a “Hey, are you you?”

In my mind interactions on Fab are no different to real life, if I met you in a bar and you started talking to me with a long monologue I would find that weird, make my excuses and move on. A simple greeting, test the water, cheesy chat up line are perfectly OK with me.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I don't mind short 1st messages as long as it's not just 1 words or want to meet now, even worse just a dick pic.

I find it hard writing messages to people I don't know and don't know if I have anything in common with, so a hi how are you both, is fine.

I don't expect an essay or anything more.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oi slag, look at my dick..

Anything along those lines, guranteed pussy access.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you prefer Marvel or DC

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you prefer Marvel or DC "

That would be a hard one to answer, I’ve no preference.

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By *mwirralMan
over a year ago

wirral

"Oi slag, look at my dick..

Anything along those lines, guranteed pussy access."

Lol

For me they should include some pics too, like to see who I'm talking too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something funny like

"i see you don't want cock pics but i know you'll love mine" and they send a chicken/rooster pic

Something like that i will reply

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"For me personally a first message can be as simple as a “Hey, are you you?”

Women get tons of these 'hi how are you?' messages every day. For most they don't stand out as anything new and simply get deleted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a simple hello for the first message how’s you’re day been just enquire about the person day how they feeling today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oi slag, look at my dick..

Anything along those lines, guranteed pussy access."

Damn I like that she's been pulled

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

The thing is, OP, any one of the things I mentioned up there ^^, and so much more, can change my reaction to any given message at any time.

One day I may respond to a "Hi" with a "Hi" and end up chatting, 30 minutes later I won't. I may respond to a carefully written message that references my profile tomorrow, but that could be the only one of those I'll answer in 8 weeks or more.

I don't even open my inbox most days, unless I'm on a forum thread that involves messages or I'm actually actively chatting to someone (usually off the back of a forum post). So maybe I've missed dozens of ideal messages from great guys.

I missed out on a gorgeous first message from the man I'm in love with because I deleted the whole inbox. And 10 days later we connected on a forum thread. His message was lovely (and pretty much perfect for how I was feeling at the time, I'd have answered) but I didn't even see it.

There is no such thing as an ideal or perfect message, only great timing (and attraction).

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By *rg4Man
over a year ago

hunktown

"What’s the perfect first message for someone to send you?

We all have different things we like so I wondered what you all think "

Never message first it’s a sign of weakness

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