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Lonely hearts ad

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hello I'm Romeo4u. Seeking someone homely, with cooking skills, fun to be with and a wazzle pair of jugs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello I'm Holly

I'm looking for Thor, so if you're on here, drop me a message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pete love you. Marriage?

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Hi I’m Blue looking for a good cook who can wiz up a moijo in second and is handy with a screwdriver

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 multiplied by 10 plus 1… Romeo Dunn

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Pete love you. Marriage?"

Sorry I'm not seeing the wazzle jugs. I must be firm regarding the wazzle jugs and the wazzle jugs must be firm.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hello I'm Holly

I'm looking for Thor, so if you're on here, drop me a message "

Shhh, this is my fab alias, don't give hints to my true identify, my mailbox will go kaboom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What does wazzle mean?

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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago

Where the flamboyance of flamingos live

Hey, Annie looking for a naked butler

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm Bella, looking for Love Actually

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi I’m Blue looking for a good cook who can wiz up a moijo in second and is handy with a screwdriver "

If you'd remove the word (good) hey,...I can burn cheese on toast as well as any cook.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm Bella, looking for Love Actually "

I reckon those legs will get you most things!

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West


"Hi I’m Blue looking for a good cook who can wiz up a moijo in second and is handy with a screwdriver

If you'd remove the word (good) hey,...I can burn cheese on toast as well as any cook. "

Was more thinking a good steak

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What does wazzle mean? "

Watch Bottom Series 2 episode Digger. (You're welcome BTW)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm Bella, looking for Love Actually "

It's on Netflix

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Desperately seeking Susan

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

I have wazzle jugs. And a lonely heart.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi I’m Blue looking for a good cook who can wiz up a moijo in second and is handy with a screwdriver

If you'd remove the word (good) hey,...I can burn cheese on toast as well as any cook.

Was more thinking a good steak "

Now that's a touch suggestive madam, what am I staking?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm Bella, looking for Love Actually "

Sorry, I'm not a film director.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi Wendi looking for a rich old man. With no family or anyone in his will and a dodgy ticker.

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By *hilledGuyClactonMan
over a year ago

Little clacton

Hi I'm ChilledGuy

Looking for someone to feed me beef monster munch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking for twue wuv. Failing that, gorgeous thighs and sarcasm.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi Wendi looking for a rich old man. With no family or anyone in his will and a dodgy ticker."

I know one, I'll forward the deets, 50/50 though yeah?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"2 multiplied by 10 plus 1… Romeo Dunn"

I got you bro, with 21 seconds to go...

Seriously, don't leave my boi hanging, be better everyone.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

Ahem

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Looking for twue wuv. Failing that, gorgeous thighs and sarcasm."

You're looking for Jonathan Woss?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"2 multiplied by 10 plus 1… Romeo Dunn

I got you bro, with 21 seconds to go...

Seriously, don't leave my boi hanging, be better everyone. "

Coincidentally 21 seconds is the longest I’ve ever lasted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Looking for twue wuv. Failing that, gorgeous thighs and sarcasm.

You're looking for Jonathan Woss? "

Wossy!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have wazzle jugs. And a lonely heart.

"

I've just had a quick squiz, omg ... all the qualities of Wazzle madam.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"2 multiplied by 10 plus 1… Romeo Dunn

I got you bro, with 21 seconds to go...

Seriously, don't leave my boi hanging, be better everyone.

Coincidentally 21 seconds is the longest I’ve ever lasted "

Self inflicted emotional damage.

Saddest noises.

Still, 21 seconds in heaven is better than 20 seconds in heaven, and you say something sexy like "is that it!" but no more, I am feeling quite sleepy and business time, is over.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ahem "

Suggestively wazzleish, Ahem.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield


"Ahem

Suggestively wazzleish, Ahem."

Something stuck in your throat?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm hotwife.

Seeking fellow comedian to tell me knock knock jokes whilst hanging out the back of me.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Hi, I'm Mimi looking for elite, top tier men.

6ft plus, 6 pack, 6 inch plus dick. And cake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi, I'm Mimi looking for elite, top tier men.

6ft plus, 6 pack, 6 inch plus dick. And cake."

666

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"2 multiplied by 10 plus 1… Romeo Dunn

I got you bro, with 21 seconds to go...

Seriously, don't leave my boi hanging, be better everyone.

Coincidentally 21 seconds is the longest I’ve ever lasted

Self inflicted emotional damage.

Saddest noises.

Still, 21 seconds in heaven is better than 20 seconds in heaven, and you say something sexy like "is that it!" but no more, I am feeling quite sleepy and business time, is over."

Somehow I’ve still never had any complaints

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi Wendi looking for a rich old man. With no family or anyone in his will and a dodgy ticker.

I know one, I'll forward the deets, 50/50 though yeah?"

70/30

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ahem

Suggestively wazzleish, Ahem.

Something stuck in your throat? "

I got a cactus stuck in my throat as a child, nothing can be done unfortunately. .. Ahem

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales


"I have wazzle jugs. And a lonely heart.

I've just had a quick squiz, omg ... all the qualities of Wazzle madam. "

Yesssssss!!! Life complete (@Y@)

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield


"Ahem

Suggestively wazzleish, Ahem.

Something stuck in your throat?

I got a cactus stuck in my throat as a child, nothing can be done unfortunately. .. Ahem"

Thought you sounded a bit spikey in your profile. Boom tish.

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

Hi, I’m looking for a bone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi, I'm Mimi looking for elite, top tier men.

6ft plus, 6 pack, 6 inch plus dick. And cake."

Try my Victoria sponge, you'll be lenient on your other credentials.

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By *o scandalousWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Hello I’m So Scandalous.

Looking for a hunky guy that likes cats and gives good massages. Must like F1 and Top Gear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tom Hardy are you out there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I knew cake was the secret sauce, this whole debacle could've been so much easier.

So basically, profile pics of cakes I make and I'm in?

Classifying them might be tricky, cream filled, double stuffed, thick long ropes of piping... better not even make any mention of the accursed moist word

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi Wendi looking for a rich old man. With no family or anyone in his will and a dodgy ticker.

I know one, I'll forward the deets, 50/50 though yeah?

70/30"

I'll sleep on it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I knew cake was the secret sauce, this whole debacle could've been so much easier.

So basically, profile pics of cakes I make and I'm in?

Classifying them might be tricky, cream filled, double stuffed, thick long ropes of piping... better not even make any mention of the accursed moist word "

Just bake some delicious cakes and deliberately by accident have some suggestive glimpses of you in the photo too.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield


"If I knew cake was the secret sauce, this whole debacle could've been so much easier.

So basically, profile pics of cakes I make and I'm in?

Classifying them might be tricky, cream filled, double stuffed, thick long ropes of piping... better not even make any mention of the accursed moist word "

Just be careful if they are jaffas

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi, I’m looking for a bone. "

Why, are your breasts that wazzle you feel they need the extra support.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ahem

Suggestively wazzleish, Ahem.

Something stuck in your throat?

I got a cactus stuck in my throat as a child, nothing can be done unfortunately. .. Ahem

Thought you sounded a bit spikey in your profile. Boom tish. "

Go and get your coat right now, that's hoffific!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have wazzle jugs. And a lonely heart.

I've just had a quick squiz, omg ... all the qualities of Wazzle madam.

Yesssssss!!! Life complete (@Y@)"

It's not complete until my willy has sampled their wazzly pleasure and received an honest mark out of 10.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi Wendi looking for a rich old man. With no family or anyone in his will and a dodgy ticker.

I know one, I'll forward the deets, 50/50 though yeah?

70/30

70/30 I'll be the one doing all the work.

I'll sleep on it. "

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Hello I'm Holly

I'm looking for Thor, so if you're on here, drop me a message "

Can I borrow him after you finished with him? He's like my ideal stud

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi I’m Blue looking for a good cook who can wiz up a moijo in second and is handy with a screwdriver "

Mojito??

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield


"Ahem

Suggestively wazzleish, Ahem.

Something stuck in your throat?

I got a cactus stuck in my throat as a child, nothing can be done unfortunately. .. Ahem

Thought you sounded a bit spikey in your profile. Boom tish.

Go and get your coat right now, that's hoffific! "

Hoffific? Is that like something from baywatch?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hello I’m So Scandalous.

Looking for a hunky guy that likes cats and gives good massages. Must like F1 and Top Gear. "

Could maybe fulfill the hunky bit (give me a month) and love cats. However the rest! God, F1 is boring, worse than the London Marathon!

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By *hantasmagoriaWoman
over a year ago

Newport


"Hello I'm Holly

I'm looking for Thor, so if you're on here, drop me a message

Can I borrow him after you finished with him? He's like my ideal stud "

Think we will all end up in a party

Im looking for a man to hold things and look pretty, I can cook, clean and I'm handy at DIY and earn my own money! I need a man just to keep the bed warm!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ahem

Suggestively wazzleish, Ahem.

Something stuck in your throat?

I got a cactus stuck in my throat as a child, nothing can be done unfortunately. .. Ahem

Thought you sounded a bit spikey in your profile. Boom tish.

Go and get your coat right now, that's hoffific!

Hoffific? Is that like something from baywatch?"

You voluntarily watched that show! Do not ever talk to me again!

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield


"Ahem

Suggestively wazzleish, Ahem.

Something stuck in your throat?

I got a cactus stuck in my throat as a child, nothing can be done unfortunately. .. Ahem

Thought you sounded a bit spikey in your profile. Boom tish.

Go and get your coat right now, that's hoffific!

Hoffific? Is that like something from baywatch?

You voluntarily watched that show! Do not ever talk to me again! "

Nah, just read about it in the daily mail

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By *r AnalyticMan
over a year ago

Nuneaton

Hi Im marc as the saying goes "once you had marc you want go dark".

Ok I'll grab my coat and leave now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ahem

Suggestively wazzleish, Ahem.

Something stuck in your throat?

I got a cactus stuck in my throat as a child, nothing can be done unfortunately. .. Ahem

Thought you sounded a bit spikey in your profile. Boom tish.

Go and get your coat right now, that's hoffific!

Hoffific? Is that like something from baywatch?

You voluntarily watched that show! Do not ever talk to me again!

Nah, just read about it in the daily mail "

Oh no, a Fail reader. I must admit to loving the pitcher wits crossword though. It's great.

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By *r AnalyticMan
over a year ago

Nuneaton

Hi Im marc as the saying goes "once you had marc you won't go dark".

Ok I'll grab my coat and leave now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm Bella, looking for Love Actually "

Try Channel 4 its on there every 3 days...

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I'm Posh. Now feeling hurt no one has ever said my jugs are wazzle even though I don't know what it means

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm Posh. Now feeling hurt no one has ever said my jugs are wazzle even though I don't know what it means "

Don't concern yourself with meaning or hurt. Picture number 10 ....is wazzle!

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I'm Posh. Now feeling hurt no one has ever said my jugs are wazzle even though I don't know what it means

Don't concern yourself with meaning or hurt. Picture number 10 ....is wazzle! "

Oooh! Thank you!

I feel better now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi I'm temptation and I love corruption!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I'm Mrs KC, I'm looking for an extra to tag team with Mr and take turns on the caring responsibilities

I often need help with getting undressed. In the shower. And getting into bed, obviously

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm Mrs KC, I'm looking for an extra to tag team with Mr and take turns on the caring responsibilities

I often need help with getting undressed. In the shower. And getting into bed, obviously "

Do I get a blowjob before or after my turn of caring? I'd prefer afterwards as I'd have more energy to be better responsible.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I'm Mrs KC, I'm looking for an extra to tag team with Mr and take turns on the caring responsibilities

I often need help with getting undressed. In the shower. And getting into bed, obviously

Do I get a blowjob before or after my turn of caring? I'd prefer afterwards as I'd have more energy to be better responsible. "

After is fine. I'm very skilled at the reclining BJ, once you've helped me to bed. I very much enjoy a man kneeling over me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im noo...burymagic and im looking for anyone who would let me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm Mrs KC, I'm looking for an extra to tag team with Mr and take turns on the caring responsibilities

I often need help with getting undressed. In the shower. And getting into bed, obviously O:

Stop it now, filth!.... I'm in

Do I get a blowjob before or after my turn of caring? I'd prefer afterwards as I'd have more energy to be better responsible.

After is fine. I'm very skilled at the reclining BJ, once you've helped me to bed. I very much enjoy a man kneeling over me "

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I'm Mrs KC, I'm looking for an extra to tag team with Mr and take turns on the caring responsibilities

I often need help with getting undressed. In the shower. And getting into bed, obviously O:

Stop it now, filth!.... I'm in

Do I get a blowjob before or after my turn of caring? I'd prefer afterwards as I'd have more energy to be better responsible.

After is fine. I'm very skilled at the reclining BJ, once you've helped me to bed. I very much enjoy a man kneeling over me "

This lonely tarts ad comes with pictures of said reclining BJ

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bottom reference. Top work

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

Hear hear

Reporting for duty

I can cook and all that shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im inevitably wanting a beautiful woman to hug my winky with her amazing anus

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm Mrs KC, I'm looking for an extra to tag team with Mr and take turns on the caring responsibilities

I often need help with getting undressed. In the shower. And getting into bed, obviously O:

Stop it now, filth!.... I'm in

Do I get a blowjob before or after my turn of caring? I'd prefer afterwards as I'd have more energy to be better responsible.

After is fine. I'm very skilled at the reclining BJ, once you've helped me to bed. I very much enjoy a man kneeling over me

This lonely tarts ad comes with pictures of said reclining BJ "

Practice on on a bigger bananna, then we'll talk.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I'm Mrs KC, I'm looking for an extra to tag team with Mr and take turns on the caring responsibilities

I often need help with getting undressed. In the shower. And getting into bed, obviously O:

Stop it now, filth!.... I'm in

Do I get a blowjob before or after my turn of caring? I'd prefer afterwards as I'd have more energy to be better responsible.

After is fine. I'm very skilled at the reclining BJ, once you've helped me to bed. I very much enjoy a man kneeling over me

This lonely tarts ad comes with pictures of said reclining BJ

Practice on on a bigger bananna, then we'll talk. "

Is the one in the avatar not big enough?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hear hear

Reporting for duty

I can cook and all that shit "

? But you've not disclosed if you have Wazzle jugs? Away with you wench!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm Mrs KC, I'm looking for an extra to tag team with Mr and take turns on the caring responsibilities

I often need help with getting undressed. In the shower. And getting into bed, obviously O:

Stop it now, filth!.... I'm in

Do I get a blowjob before or after my turn of caring? I'd prefer afterwards as I'd have more energy to be better responsible.

After is fine. I'm very skilled at the reclining BJ, once you've helped me to bed. I very much enjoy a man kneeling over me

This lonely tarts ad comes with pictures of said reclining BJ

Practice on on a bigger bananna, then we'll talk.

Is the one in the avatar not big enough?! "

Well, .. erm, simply put.. No

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Bottom reference. Top work "

Is there a better comedy? No, is the rhetorical answer.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I'm Mrs KC, I'm looking for an extra to tag team with Mr and take turns on the caring responsibilities

I often need help with getting undressed. In the shower. And getting into bed, obviously O:

Stop it now, filth!.... I'm in

Do I get a blowjob before or after my turn of caring? I'd prefer afterwards as I'd have more energy to be better responsible.

After is fine. I'm very skilled at the reclining BJ, once you've helped me to bed. I very much enjoy a man kneeling over me

This lonely tarts ad comes with pictures of said reclining BJ

Practice on on a bigger bananna, then we'll talk.

Is the one in the avatar not big enough?!

Well, .. erm, simply put.. No "

Well, bring it on, big boy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm Mrs KC, I'm looking for an extra to tag team with Mr and take turns on the caring responsibilities

I often need help with getting undressed. In the shower. And getting into bed, obviously O:

Stop it now, filth!.... I'm in

Do I get a blowjob before or after my turn of caring? I'd prefer afterwards as I'd have more energy to be better responsible.

After is fine. I'm very skilled at the reclining BJ, once you've helped me to bed. I very much enjoy a man kneeling over me

This lonely tarts ad comes with pictures of said reclining BJ

Practice on on a bigger bananna, then we'll talk.

Is the one in the avatar not big enough?!

Well, .. erm, simply put.. No

Well, bring it on, big boy "

Do I have Private DM attachment of doom permission?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I'm Mrs KC, I'm looking for an extra to tag team with Mr and take turns on the caring responsibilities

I often need help with getting undressed. In the shower. And getting into bed, obviously O:

Stop it now, filth!.... I'm in

Do I get a blowjob before or after my turn of caring? I'd prefer afterwards as I'd have more energy to be better responsible.

After is fine. I'm very skilled at the reclining BJ, once you've helped me to bed. I very much enjoy a man kneeling over me

This lonely tarts ad comes with pictures of said reclining BJ

Practice on on a bigger bananna, then we'll talk.

Is the one in the avatar not big enough?!

Well, .. erm, simply put.. No

Well, bring it on, big boy

Do I have Private DM attachment of doom permission? "

Hit us with your rhythm stick

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines


"Hi I’m Blue looking for a good cook who can wiz up a moijo in second and is handy with a screwdriver "
you just described me

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I'm Phil.

Looking for love, failing that a right good fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

List your ten favourite albums.

I just want to know if there's anything worth keeping when we finally break up.

Practical, forward thinking man, 63.

Winston

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By *reeneggsandsamMan
over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

Hey, Yo.

I'm Sam, a wizard in the bedroom with a good sense of humour.

Good with children and animals.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Hi I'm Grumpy ...

And I'm a miserable git but I can whip up a decent meal and usually have cake ...

Don't all rush at once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh cake!!!

When and where?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ploughing the loneliest furrow.

Nineteen personal ads and counting. Only one reply.

It was my mother telling me not to forget the bread on my way home from B&Q.

Man, 63.

Winston

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

Hello. I am shag. I am single and looking for naughty times, both indoor and outside of the bedroom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/08/22 15:49:59]

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

I'm cherry who fave thing to do to a man is a bj closely followed by pegging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm Gr8Str8, an incredibly annoying yet humorous fellow, if you fancy a one off utterly boring time and a brief sexual encounter then I'm your man.

Message me on kik....if I don't reply it won't be because I'm not interested it'll be because I don't have kik

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By *9alMan
over a year ago

Bridgend

the problem with lonely harts ads is they seem to fall outside the trade descriptions act

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