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"So today was the first time I've had sex since I gave birth a month ago. The sex was good, it always is, but he didn't cum even though he said he did. You can always tell. I know he was probably too hot in my sauna of a room or the fact that he's struggling with his health at the moment but I can't help but feel it was because of me and because my body has changed. Don't get me wrong, I've never been a super model, nowhere near but my body definitely took a beating from my pregnancy. We've been shagging for 2.5 years, we'd not had sex in 10 weeks and I just really needed it and now I don't feel my usual post coitus happy self. In fact I'm crying because I feel hideous and its not his fault its mine. No real point to this, just feeling fat, ugly and sorry for myself " It's so hard after you've had a baby to love and accept your new changed figure. But I know you're beautiful, I am pretty sure it's all the hormones not helping you feel good too. If you need to inbox please feel free xxx You made a human!!! | |||
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"Maybe if he had said it was too hot or something I could have understood it. We've known each other long enough that I thought he would trust me to say that " He probably felt embarrassed, didn't want to upset you, hoped you wouldn't notice. You say he's got health issues maybe he just needs you to accept him as he is. Your hormones will be all over the place cut yourself some slack | |||
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"So today was the first time I've had sex since I gave birth a month ago. The sex was good, it always is, but he didn't cum even though he said he did. You can always tell. I know he was probably too hot in my sauna of a room or the fact that he's struggling with his health at the moment but I can't help but feel it was because of me and because my body has changed. Don't get me wrong, I've never been a super model, nowhere near but my body definitely took a beating from my pregnancy. We've been shagging for 2.5 years, we'd not had sex in 10 weeks and I just really needed it and now I don't feel my usual post coitus happy self. In fact I'm crying because I feel hideous and its not his fault its mine. No real point to this, just feeling fat, ugly and sorry for myself " You’re only a month after having a baby and your body is still recovering and hormones are still all over the place…there could be lots of reasons why it wasn’t the experience you hoped it would be and I suggest you do talk to him about it. After I had my two kids with my ex, I felt very differently about my body, and hated how I looked. My confidence was already poor because of emotional control and manipulation from my ex which didn’t help, I suppose. But be kind to yourself, and kind to him and hopefully you can work things out. You are not fat and ugly - you are beautiful and have just brought a new life into the world F (Mrs) | |||
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"So today was the first time I've had sex since I gave birth a month ago. The sex was good, it always is, but he didn't cum even though he said he did. You can always tell. I know he was probably too hot in my sauna of a room or the fact that he's struggling with his health at the moment but I can't help but feel it was because of me and because my body has changed. Don't get me wrong, I've never been a super model, nowhere near but my body definitely took a beating from my pregnancy. We've been shagging for 2.5 years, we'd not had sex in 10 weeks and I just really needed it and now I don't feel my usual post coitus happy self. In fact I'm crying because I feel hideous and its not his fault its mine. No real point to this, just feeling fat, ugly and sorry for myself " The body is changed so much by pregnancy, hormones kick in, your maternal side can be present with one ear open for baby, but also this can apply to him. If he's been present at the birth he may well be scared of hurting you, he may even need to adjust to your body too as he may well have viewed it differently after seeing what it's gone through and the beautiful baby that has come from it and even be in awe of it, just not in a sexual way. He will also be adjusting to life as a dad, and seeing how much time your baby takes up from you and may even feel he has less of your attention even for a perfectly good reason. He may have simply been surprised by the fact you wanted sex and not expected it and may have caught him off guard do to speak. Take your time to rediscover each other. T | |||
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"So today was the first time I've had sex since I gave birth a month ago. The sex was good, it always is, but he didn't cum even though he said he did. You can always tell. I know he was probably too hot in my sauna of a room or the fact that he's struggling with his health at the moment but I can't help but feel it was because of me and because my body has changed. Don't get me wrong, I've never been a super model, nowhere near but my body definitely took a beating from my pregnancy. We've been shagging for 2.5 years, we'd not had sex in 10 weeks and I just really needed it and now I don't feel my usual post coitus happy self. In fact I'm crying because I feel hideous and its not his fault its mine. No real point to this, just feeling fat, ugly and sorry for myself The body is changed so much by pregnancy, hormones kick in, your maternal side can be present with one ear open for baby, but also this can apply to him. If he's been present at the birth he may well be scared of hurting you, he may even need to adjust to your body too as he may well have viewed it differently after seeing what it's gone through and the beautiful baby that has come from it and even be in awe of it, just not in a sexual way. He will also be adjusting to life as a dad, and seeing how much time your baby takes up from you and may even feel he has less of your attention even for a perfectly good reason. He may have simply been surprised by the fact you wanted sex and not expected it and may have caught him off guard do to speak. Take your time to rediscover each other. T " I should have explained better, I'm a single mother (ivf using a sperm donor) he's my fwb of 2.5 years | |||
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"So today was the first time I've had sex since I gave birth a month ago. The sex was good, it always is, but he didn't cum even though he said he did. You can always tell. I know he was probably too hot in my sauna of a room or the fact that he's struggling with his health at the moment but I can't help but feel it was because of me and because my body has changed. Don't get me wrong, I've never been a super model, nowhere near but my body definitely took a beating from my pregnancy. We've been shagging for 2.5 years, we'd not had sex in 10 weeks and I just really needed it and now I don't feel my usual post coitus happy self. In fact I'm crying because I feel hideous and its not his fault its mine. No real point to this, just feeling fat, ugly and sorry for myself " As many have said don't be too hard on yourself. You have just had a baby but think yiu have created a beautiful human beingband you are beautiful yourself. X | |||
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"Maybe if he had said it was too hot or something I could have understood it. We've known each other long enough that I thought he would trust me to say that He probably felt embarrassed, didn't want to upset you, hoped you wouldn't notice. You say he's got health issues maybe he just needs you to accept him as he is. Your hormones will be all over the place cut yourself some slack " Wise words. Especially about cutting yourself some slack. Many of us are way too hard on ourselves. The consequences of beating yourself up, too hard, too often are hugely detrimental to our own mental health and well being. Be gentle with yourself. Winston | |||
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"So today was the first time I've had sex since I gave birth a month ago. The sex was good, it always is, but he didn't cum even though he said he did. You can always tell. I know he was probably too hot in my sauna of a room or the fact that he's struggling with his health at the moment but I can't help but feel it was because of me and because my body has changed. Don't get me wrong, I've never been a super model, nowhere near but my body definitely took a beating from my pregnancy. We've been shagging for 2.5 years, we'd not had sex in 10 weeks and I just really needed it and now I don't feel my usual post coitus happy self. In fact I'm crying because I feel hideous and its not his fault its mine. No real point to this, just feeling fat, ugly and sorry for myself The body is changed so much by pregnancy, hormones kick in, your maternal side can be present with one ear open for baby, but also this can apply to him. If he's been present at the birth he may well be scared of hurting you, he may even need to adjust to your body too as he may well have viewed it differently after seeing what it's gone through and the beautiful baby that has come from it and even be in awe of it, just not in a sexual way. He will also be adjusting to life as a dad, and seeing how much time your baby takes up from you and may even feel he has less of your attention even for a perfectly good reason. He may have simply been surprised by the fact you wanted sex and not expected it and may have caught him off guard do to speak. Take your time to rediscover each other. T I should have explained better, I'm a single mother (ivf using a sperm donor) he's my fwb of 2.5 years" It's your hormones, they will fade over time, talk to him he's your friend | |||
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"If I decide to talk to my friend about it, does anyone have any suggestions on how I go about it without making him feel bad?" You said the sex was good...maybe if you focus on that aspect, there's really no need to tell him you feel ugly because he didn't cum | |||
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"If I decide to talk to my friend about it, does anyone have any suggestions on how I go about it without making him feel bad?" How close are you? Can you usually discuss feelings/ sex/ etc? If he's a close friend just discuss how you feel. Maybe you can just snuggle and not fuck. Bit of naked hugging and see what happens. If nothing happens don't feel bad. Just get used to being naked with him again. Your hormones will be messed up for maybe months. You did and amazing thing. It gets better. | |||
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"If I decide to talk to my friend about it, does anyone have any suggestions on how I go about it without making him feel bad?" Write a letter, from your heart. Write all your anxieties, exactly how you feel, all of your fears. Don't send it. When you're alone, at rest, connected..... read it to him. Be kind to yourself. Winston | |||
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"If I decide to talk to my friend about it, does anyone have any suggestions on how I go about it without making him feel bad?" You could just open up to him to say pretty much what you said in your original post - that you basically don’t feel good about yourself since having the baby, and that you’re worried he isn’t that into you any more? You could ask him if there’s anything bothering him he’d like to talk about? Cuddle up together and reconnect with the intimacy while you’re talking, too F (Mrs) | |||
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