FabSwingers.com forum: Overthinking

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Are you an over thinker and how do you deal with it or manage it?

Is it over one specific thing or do you overthink everything?

Why do you feel that you do it?

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By *uckOfTheBayMan
over a year ago

Mold

Let me think about it for a bit and I'll get back to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you an over thinker and how do you deal with it or manage it?

Is it over one specific thing or do you overthink everything?

Why do you feel that you do it? "

I overthink life haha. You just get used to it and self manage.

Most people I work with now just find it funny watching me tie myself up over details.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Let me think about it for a bit and I'll get back to you

I knew someone would be along with something like that.

Congratulations, you win a ten pence mix from the local corner shop

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

I really have to write things down when my mind goes that way. It turns into stress when I don’t

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we all over think things sometimes and sometimes it doesn't do us any good. I'm trying my best not to

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

local, but not too local

I’m a huge overthinker and frustratingly can usually see both/all sides of the argument.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a serial over thinker. I don’t really cope or control it. I just distract it, keeping myself busy and I try to stay on focus, because if I let my thoughts wander I’m down the rabbit hole faster than Alice on her way to Wonderland.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

I overthink everything. When my mental health is bad I hate it and it sends me in to a cycle of paranoia and anxiety.

When I'm in a good place and around good people I can often rationalise it, and I do tend to try and own it. I make light of it and tell people quite honestly why I might be being a bit needy and seeking reassurance or affirmation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been today only because i did a memory tour iv been putting off for 2 years and realise it changed nothing at all by doing it but cost me about £25 in fuel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you an over thinker and how do you deal with it or manage it?

Is it over one specific thing or do you overthink everything?

Why do you feel that you do it? "

Well, I guess that depends on your definition of over-thinker. People will of course do different amounts of thinking, so I would be interested at what point a person is considered to no longer be in the "normal" camp, but has transitioned to the "overthinker" camp. Is it an absolute category? Or is it culturally defined, with some cultures considering different amounts of thinking...

Huh? What do you mean I am definitely an overthinker?!?!

Fay x

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I know that I’m worse when I’m tired.

It sets off my anxiety which then cycles and it’s hard to break that cycle. It’s very easy to fall into the trap of fixating and pulling apart minutiae.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I am entirely guilty of this phenomenon, not least of all during social discourse when I may subsequently find myself questioning myself as regards if anything I have said during said previous conversation might have been taken the wrong way/offended the person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know that I’m worse when I’m tired.

It sets off my anxiety which then cycles and it’s hard to break that cycle. It’s very easy to fall into the trap of fixating and pulling apart minutiae.

This is an all too familiar situation for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t overthink stuff at all. I’m a ridiculously simple soul.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do with a lot of things, mainly interactions with other people, on any level. I think it's because I'm a practical person, a problem solver and if I can't solve it or reach a conclusion, then it can churn around for hours, weeks or even months.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to overthink chronically, to the point I was an anxious mess most of the time. Mostly it was worrying about upcoming social situations and ruminating over past ones. I've dealt with it by having lots of therapy, distracting my mind with audiobooks almost constantly, and mindfulness excercises.

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By *rouserbulgeMan
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

I’m a negative overthinker. If some hasn’t messaged or spoken to me for a while I tend to think they don’t like me or I’ve upset them etc. it’s a bad trait and not easy to break.

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

"I’m a negative overthinker. If some hasn’t messaged or spoken to me for a while I tend to think they don’t like me or I’ve upset them etc. it’s a bad trait and not easy to break. "

I feel this. It’s tough going

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I’m a negative overthinker. If some hasn’t messaged or spoken to me for a while I tend to think they don’t like me or I’ve upset them etc. it’s a bad trait and not easy to break. "

I've a friend like this. She actually messaged me and said she knew I didn't want to see her any more. This was after she'd cancelled two coffee dates with me and I said to let me know when she was free.

We do still see each other. We had a full and frank discussion about her thinking she knew what was in my mind.

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By *neakypeaky30Man
over a year ago

Midlands

Yeah, massive overthinker. Can easily disrupt my day over a simple conversation or work e-mail for example. I don't think there is an easy fix as we're all different. Distraction can work for me sometimes, takes a conscious effort to fight out of the overthinking to get there though. Could just be me

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I was, and it ended up giving me anxiety. I’m now on medication for it and the relief has been immense. Inner peace. Sort of.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"I’m a negative overthinker. If some hasn’t messaged or spoken to me for a while I tend to think they don’t like me or I’ve upset them etc. it’s a bad trait and not easy to break. "

I relate to this a lot. I can need constant reassurance even from my partner, if someone is sad or angry I'll assume I'm the reason.

Over the years I've got better at rationalising the thoughts, I also understand the root cause is an abusive father when I was younger.

I hope you can break it or at least learn to deal with it, because it is pretty shit isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you an over thinker and how do you deal with it or manage it?

Is it over one specific thing or do you overthink everything?

Why do you feel that you do it? "

Are you specifically referring to over analysing something, dwelling on something, obsessive thinking about something? How are you edging over think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a terrible overthinker and the last couple of weeks have had my head in a spin almost constantly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

* defining

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I have a overthinking analytical mind. I've learnt to live with it and if I'm heading into a spiral then I use grounding techniques and write it down and that helps me break it down and process

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope too busy having a wank

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m a negative overthinker. If some hasn’t messaged or spoken to me for a while I tend to think they don’t like me or I’ve upset them etc. it’s a bad trait and not easy to break. "

Same here. It can be so draining.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Most certainly not an overthinker. I can have doubts at times about a course of action or decision and may reflect on it. I think this is normal for most people. I won't obsess over it to the point where it may cause anxiety or distress.

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
over a year ago

Next Door

"I know that I’m worse when I’m tired.

It sets off my anxiety which then cycles and it’s hard to break that cycle. It’s very easy to fall into the trap of fixating and pulling apart minutiae.

About 7 yrs ago, I was like this most days. Sleep for a few hrs each night, anxiety was awful, panic attacks,overthinking everything and every day was a challenge. I found myself living in the middle ( a very stressed person sitting on a wobbly fence)

I read lots of self help books/ podcasts and I slowly turned the corner. I came up with asking myself questions about the things I was overthinking. Questions like Can i change it? Yes or no. Does it help you? Does it make you hsppy? All simple yes or no questions.

Since then I've carried on this way of thinking and it's helped.

I've had a few set backs since and I was living on a grey wobbly fence last year often.

Sending you a hug, Tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the day and my mood, I can overthink a lot when my anxiety is heightened. Over thinking is not always a negative thing, sometimes it's used as a coping mechanism. If you work things out in your head first, somehow you can be more prepared when it actually happens. It's usually over things I can't control which is a whole other over thinking bubble in itself.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Reflection is a good thing but life is far to short to over think and create negativity that probably isn’t even necessary

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By *oly Fuck Sticks BatmanCouple
over a year ago

here & there

I was a massive overthinker till i met Innocent He always says....

You can only do your best with the information you have.

Now I'm not such an overthinker

Sweet xx

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Are you an over thinker and how do you deal with it or manage it?

Is it over one specific thing or do you overthink everything?

Why do you feel that you do it? "

Yes, I have have explored setting up Over-Thinkers Anonymous on here several times over the years.

Ageing has helped a bit. I've become much more existentialist, which helps control the thoughts when they arrive. However, if I get a persistent thought I have learned to lean in to it. It's a manifestation of some anxiety, which I need to attend to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be... Not so much now.

I try not to worry about things i have no control or influence over.

I try to approach everything with an open mind and friendliness and then take stock as i go along.

I am pretty good at joining dots and take no prisoners though ..so i can be seen as judgemental as i make a fairly fast appraisal and then abide by my gut feeling... But I'm a great advocate and supporter for those who i want to spend time with and on

I think age has given me a greater perspective and understanding and consideration... (i also realised i didn't want to be like the people i grew up with)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you an over thinker and how do you deal with it or manage it?

Is it over one specific thing or do you overthink everything?

Why do you feel that you do it? "

1. Yes probably, and I keep thinking of how to deal with it. It’s a vicious circle.

2. Everything,

3. what else is there to do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you an over thinker and how do you deal with it or manage it?

Is it over one specific thing or do you overthink everything?

Why do you feel that you do it?

1. Yes probably, and I keep thinking of how to deal with it. It’s a vicious circle.

2. Everything,

3. what else is there to do? "

What benefits does it being to your life though

You need to 'let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go'

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

For the most part, no

I think it would be exhausting

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By *ifewantsmore777Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I’m a huge overthinker and frustratingly can usually see both/all sides of the argument. "

This is K…plus the other side that no one else has thought of

xx L

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

Yep. Definitely.

I don't cope with it very well tbh, so I'll be watching for others methods.

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

Just thought I'd add why I am.

I was naturally an overthinker, but it also came in useful in my job.

I have to forward think how apparently small changes can negatively affect complex systems. Having done this for over 20 years, I've pretty much trained my brain to work like this all the time and it's hard to turn it off.

Now I think about every action I've made and those I'm yet to make, and the impacts they could all have. Sometimes it's quite crippling when trying making decisions.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Just thought I'd add why I am.

I was naturally an overthinker, but it also came in useful in my job.

Now I think about every action I've made and those I'm yet to make, and the impacts they could all have. Sometimes it's quite crippling when trying making decisions."

Have you listened to The Power of Negative Thinking on Radio 4? Find it, you'll enjoy that 15 minutes on decision making.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I do. Other times I put together a playlist and go for a run. Or go for a swim. Or do yoga. That all helps. Or my dog usually puts me straight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you an over thinker and how do you deal with it or manage it?

Is it over one specific thing or do you overthink everything?

Why do you feel that you do it?

1. Yes probably, and I keep thinking of how to deal with it. It’s a vicious circle.

2. Everything,

3. what else is there to do?

What benefits does it being to your life though

You need to 'let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go' "

I don’t know what it could bring to my life…I’ll have a think about it.

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By *valon7Woman
over a year ago

Lancaster

"Are you an over thinker and how do you deal with it or manage it?

Is it over one specific thing or do you overthink everything?

Why do you feel that you do it? "

I overthink everything.I was diagnosed with Generalised anxiety disorder a few years back due to this.

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