Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to The Lounge |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I told a friend I was struggling a bit and they cut off contact completely. That really hurt because I’ve been there for them a lot in the past when others have let them down. I didn’t really have a way to deal with it I just carried on. We’re on speaking terms again but I just don’t feel the same way about them anymore. " I’m very sorry to hear that. True friendship is, I believe, a two way thing. It’s a shame that so many folks don’t seem to adhere to this  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I told a friend I was struggling a bit and they cut off contact completely. That really hurt because I’ve been there for them a lot in the past when others have let them down. I didn’t really have a way to deal with it I just carried on. We’re on speaking terms again but I just don’t feel the same way about them anymore. I’m very sorry to hear that. True friendship is, I believe, a two way thing. It’s a shame that so many folks don’t seem to adhere to this "I’m sort of over it now but what hurts the most is being the type of person I am, I know I’ll be there for them if they need me in future. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Probably 9 years ago when my dad walked away. I handled it by thinking "fuck it" he isn't worth it, was more trouble trying to keep him in my life and its been a lot better without him. Miss S x" Hurt caused by a family member in my experience, very often cuts the deepest in many ways. I’m very glad that you ultimately derived a positive from your experience though. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I told a friend I was struggling a bit and they cut off contact completely. That really hurt because I’ve been there for them a lot in the past when others have let them down. I didn’t really have a way to deal with it I just carried on. We’re on speaking terms again but I just don’t feel the same way about them anymore. I’m very sorry to hear that. True friendship is, I believe, a two way thing. It’s a shame that so many folks don’t seem to adhere to this "Seems to be a common theme. Really hurts when people you thought were friends turn on you. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Probably 9 years ago when my dad walked away. I handled it by thinking "fuck it" he isn't worth it, was more trouble trying to keep him in my life and its been a lot better without him. Miss S x Hurt caused by a family member in my experience, very often cuts the deepest in many ways. I’m very glad that you ultimately derived a positive from your experience though." Absolutely, it definitely hits differently. Thank you 
Miss S x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Being hurt is something I've become experienced in now, as sad as it sounds. It took me a long time to realise that other people's behaviour I can't change but I can choose how I respond to it. As I've got older, I've just cut it dead. Any form of toxicity isn't needed in my life so people only get chance to hurt me once now. " I have found that I get more cynical and mistrusting of people as I get older as a direct result of life experiences. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I dunno last time id say about 12 to 18 months ago or so the 2nd to last contact i dont blame her for any of the pain i felt/feel or how dark things got It only hurt as much as it did because i loved her as much as i well do probly always will but at least i can say i was really happy one time in my life but il still be here when she needs me no matter how much time passes by " I’ve had the same this year, neither of us did anything wrong and it was great, but she felt I loved her far more than she loved me, and her situation changed. Part of the reason I’m on here is to get some form of connection, but I’m just not ready to give my love to someone yet. But, I will give all my passion if the right situation comes along. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"When my ex told me he didn’t love me anymore, after being together for 19 years it was painful to hear! But on the plus side I’ve had heaps of fun since and made some lovely new friends - every cloud "That’s the spirit   | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"3 years ago… a man I adored/loved who I had an on off thing with for nearly 8 years chose someone else (an ex) over me. Initially I was devastated wrote him a long letter telling him how much he hurt me… cried for about a week… Then I joined fab! It took a long time to get over and even now I have a real insecurity about being 2nd best/being rejected for someone else. However as they say time heals and actually we have ended up as good platonic friends. " It’s hard to give your heart to someone when it’s been hurt before, but I will one day, and give it on full. I hope you can do the same xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I dunno last time id say about 12 to 18 months ago or so the 2nd to last contact i dont blame her for any of the pain i felt/feel or how dark things got It only hurt as much as it did because i loved her as much as i well do probly always will but at least i can say i was really happy one time in my life but il still be here when she needs me no matter how much time passes by I’ve had the same this year, neither of us did anything wrong and it was great, but she felt I loved her far more than she loved me, and her situation changed. Part of the reason I’m on here is to get some form of connection, but I’m just not ready to give my love to someone yet. But, I will give all my passion if the right situation comes along. " iv gone the other way once you been to the stars you been to the stars il never allow myself a connection like that i wont dilute what i had or disrespect it i didnt go that close to the edge to risk it again for someone else il be friends with people but any hint of emotion from either party il be running the other way fast as my little legs will carry me being this insane is quite enough any worse il be in a padded cell  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I dunno last time id say about 12 to 18 months ago or so the 2nd to last contact i dont blame her for any of the pain i felt/feel or how dark things got It only hurt as much as it did because i loved her as much as i well do probly always will but at least i can say i was really happy one time in my life but il still be here when she needs me no matter how much time passes by " That’s a great technique for healing: the balancing of the pain presently experienced vs the reflection of previous good times spent together. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"3 years ago… a man I adored/loved who I had an on off thing with for nearly 8 years chose someone else (an ex) over me. Initially I was devastated wrote him a long letter telling him how much he hurt me… cried for about a week… Then I joined fab! It took a long time to get over and even now I have a real insecurity about being 2nd best/being rejected for someone else. However as they say time heals and actually we have ended up as good platonic friends. " I’m so glad to hear that you have worked through such hurt and come out the other side, to coin the phrase. FAB therapy eh? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I dunno last time id say about 12 to 18 months ago or so the 2nd to last contact i dont blame her for any of the pain i felt/feel or how dark things got It only hurt as much as it did because i loved her as much as i well do probly always will but at least i can say i was really happy one time in my life but il still be here when she needs me no matter how much time passes by That’s a great technique for healing: the balancing of the pain presently experienced vs the reflection of previous good times spent together." it doesnt bloody work if it is still cant go a day with out saying good morning to her out loud in her direction old habits still have some sap tendencies  dont mean i dont like norks tho | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I dunno last time id say about 12 to 18 months ago or so the 2nd to last contact i dont blame her for any of the pain i felt/feel or how dark things got It only hurt as much as it did because i loved her as much as i well do probly always will but at least i can say i was really happy one time in my life but il still be here when she needs me no matter how much time passes by I’ve had the same this year, neither of us did anything wrong and it was great, but she felt I loved her far more than she loved me, and her situation changed. Part of the reason I’m on here is to get some form of connection, but I’m just not ready to give my love to someone yet. But, I will give all my passion if the right situation comes along. " If it’s any help, there have indeed been some beautiful, loving and lasting connections formed right here on the forum between a number of regular members. I truly wish you the very same. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I dunno last time id say about 12 to 18 months ago or so the 2nd to last contact i dont blame her for any of the pain i felt/feel or how dark things got It only hurt as much as it did because i loved her as much as i well do probly always will but at least i can say i was really happy one time in my life but il still be here when she needs me no matter how much time passes by That’s a great technique for healing: the balancing of the pain presently experienced vs the reflection of previous good times spent together.it doesnt bloody work if it is still cant go a day with out saying good morning to her out loud in her direction old habits still have some sap tendencies dont mean i dont like norks tho " Nork therapy….now there’s an intriguing technique if ever I’ve heard it  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"3 years ago… a man I adored/loved who I had an on off thing with for nearly 8 years chose someone else (an ex) over me. Initially I was devastated wrote him a long letter telling him how much he hurt me… cried for about a week… Then I joined fab! It took a long time to get over and even now I have a real insecurity about being 2nd best/being rejected for someone else. However as they say time heals and actually we have ended up as good platonic friends. I’m so glad to hear that you have worked through such hurt and come out the other side, to coin the phrase. FAB therapy eh? "FAB therapy is highly recommended!  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I told a friend I was struggling a bit and they cut off contact completely. That really hurt because I’ve been there for them a lot in the past when others have let them down. I didn’t really have a way to deal with it I just carried on. We’re on speaking terms again but I just don’t feel the same way about them anymore. I’m very sorry to hear that. True friendship is, I believe, a two way thing. It’s a shame that so many folks don’t seem to adhere to this
Seems to be a common theme. Really hurts when people you thought were friends turn on you. "It might sound horribly cynical and possibly even miserable of me but I’ve almost come to fully expect it and thus brace for it as a form of defence mechanism in effect in order to lessen the resultant pain  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"This year. Badly. And time is the only thing that can help. " Time is the great healer
Whilst I do agree wholeheartedly with the old adage, they regretfully forgot to specify the time frame…. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"A few months ago by a good friend. Even though I was the one who walked away from the friendship it still hurts. " Credit to you for taking direct and indeed decisive action. I sadly have a tendency to stay and endure it whilst suffering in silence | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"When my ex, an American, said she was feeling homesick and wanted to visit her folks in the USA. She went, but 3 days later I got an e mail saying 'I'm not coming back, please forward my stuff'. " That is an incredibly cold way to end a relationship. I hope that in time, whilst not forgetting her, you will find future happiness that far, far exceeds what you had previously. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"A couple of weeks ago. Not the worst hurt I’ve experienced but it still stings. I cut them out of my life immediately." Absolutely good on you for your definitive action. Seizing control of the situation is doubtless an efficacious aid to healing (and one which I myself really NEED to work on in future) | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"3 weeks ago by a family member. They have form so I usually keep them at arms length, but this time they blindsided me. My instinct was to cut them off completely, but that would negatively affect other family members. Time will lessen the sting and a superficial relationship that involves discussing the weather and films will protect me from future drama." That’s a great technique; a deliberate shield in effect whilst minimising collateral emotional damage (to your family). | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Earlier this year someone I thought was a very good friend made the decision to cut me out of their life to try and salvage an already doomed relationship. This despite having told me many times how much our friendship meant to them. Given the things we'd shared, and the trust we had, it broke me quite badly, but with support from other friends I've accepted it and moved on. I still miss them though, and find many things recently are reminding me of them, which is stirring some emotions I'm not entirely comfortable with. I'm trying to keep myself busy and occupied with other stuff so those memories and emotions don't resurface too much. People huh! Sometimes I think they're too much bother "Hi Elderflowerapple, you’re not alone with things reminding you of them. It’s like waves on the beach, sometimes they’re small, then other times they knock you over. Time is helping me, and I hope it helps you too. Best wishes xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Every day, I have no contact with my children (their choice apparently). Never piss off a redhead." I’m very sorry to hear that | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Earlier this year someone I thought was a very good friend made the decision to cut me out of their life to try and salvage an already doomed relationship. This despite having told me many times how much our friendship meant to them. Given the things we'd shared, and the trust we had, it broke me quite badly, but with support from other friends I've accepted it and moved on. I still miss them though, and find many things recently are reminding me of them, which is stirring some emotions I'm not entirely comfortable with. I'm trying to keep myself busy and occupied with other stuff so those memories and emotions don't resurface too much. People huh! Sometimes I think they're too much bother "I once read that survivalist Ray Mears (stick with me on this, it’s relevant I promise!) spends a huge portion of his year completely alone in the wilderness. ….I wonder, maybe he has the right idea? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My old manager. He'd been gunning for me since I complained about him shouting at me in a team meeting. He gaslighted me repeatedly, tried to turn people against me and when he found out I was autistic refused to accept it, support me or consider reasonable adjustments and then started me on capabilities. I dealt with it initislky by trying to kill myself, notnthe best way. Then I got help, from am amazing charity, the NHS, my partner and my friends who all played a huge part in keeping me alive. Then i found a new job and started speaking to solicitors. I've had a lot of pain and shit thrown at me in my life but nothing like the first 6 months of this year, I think recovery might take a while. Emotionally I'm somewhat weak" I’m so very sorry to hear of your dreadful experience (your boss sounds like a complete and utter cunt if you’ll please excuse my French) Absolutely well done on getting the correct help though and I sincerely hope that in time, you may look back on the six months in question and congratulate yourself on your strength in getting through it | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My old manager. He'd been gunning for me since I complained about him shouting at me in a team meeting. He gaslighted me repeatedly, tried to turn people against me and when he found out I was autistic refused to accept it, support me or consider reasonable adjustments and then started me on capabilities. I dealt with it initislky by trying to kill myself, notnthe best way. Then I got help, from am amazing charity, the NHS, my partner and my friends who all played a huge part in keeping me alive. Then i found a new job and started speaking to solicitors. I've had a lot of pain and shit thrown at me in my life but nothing like the first 6 months of this year, I think recovery might take a while. Emotionally I'm somewhat weak I’m so very sorry to hear of your dreadful experience (your boss sounds like a complete and utter cunt if you’ll please excuse my French) Absolutely well done on getting the correct help though and I sincerely hope that in time, you may look back on the six months in question and congratulate yourself on your strength in getting through it "I’ll second that. Well done | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"When my ex, an American, said she was feeling homesick and wanted to visit her folks in the USA. She went, but 3 days later I got an e mail saying 'I'm not coming back, please forward my stuff'. That is an incredibly cold way to end a relationship. I hope that in time, whilst not forgetting her, you will find future happiness that far, far exceeds what you had previously." Thank you. Every now and again I have an off day when something reminds of her, but that was in 2012, otherwise I'm okay now. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My old manager. He'd been gunning for me since I complained about him shouting at me in a team meeting. He gaslighted me repeatedly, tried to turn people against me and when he found out I was autistic refused to accept it, support me or consider reasonable adjustments and then started me on capabilities. I dealt with it initislky by trying to kill myself, notnthe best way. Then I got help, from am amazing charity, the NHS, my partner and my friends who all played a huge part in keeping me alive. Then i found a new job and started speaking to solicitors. I've had a lot of pain and shit thrown at me in my life but nothing like the first 6 months of this year, I think recovery might take a while. Emotionally I'm somewhat weak"  That sounds...shit. It sounds really shit. I'm sorry. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My old manager. He'd been gunning for me since I complained about him shouting at me in a team meeting. He gaslighted me repeatedly, tried to turn people against me and when he found out I was autistic refused to accept it, support me or consider reasonable adjustments and then started me on capabilities. I dealt with it initislky by trying to kill myself, notnthe best way. Then I got help, from am amazing charity, the NHS, my partner and my friends who all played a huge part in keeping me alive. Then i found a new job and started speaking to solicitors. I've had a lot of pain and shit thrown at me in my life but nothing like the first 6 months of this year, I think recovery might take a while. Emotionally I'm somewhat weak That sounds...shit. It sounds really shit. I'm sorry. "Thank you, and to the others that responded. It's beyond shit, that post doesn't scratch the surface, i was refused permission to return to work as I was a potential danger, in 3 months off sick no one from my employer checked on me once, when partner emailed him begging him to pause an ill health capability review because I had tried to kill myself he replied and said no... Pure Evil | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
I isolate, withdraw and pretty much go on negative spiral I know I’ll get through it but boy it can be tough! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Wouldn’t be nice to on occasion, be able to literally ‘switch off’ all emotions and apply pure logic to any given situation? "I've never wanted to, I must admit. I'd rather be hurt than numb. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Wouldn’t be nice to on occasion, be able to literally ‘switch off’ all emotions and apply pure logic to any given situation?
I've never wanted to, I must admit. I'd rather be hurt than numb. "It could be argued that emotional hurt is indeed one intrinsic aspect that defines us as ‘human’. Certainly, if we work through and subsequently learn from our pain, we have grown and perhaps, with luck, may be better enabled to foresee the signs and avoid or at least abate the causes of it occurring again | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Wouldn’t be nice to on occasion, be able to literally ‘switch off’ all emotions and apply pure logic to any given situation?
I've never wanted to, I must admit. I'd rather be hurt than numb.
It could be argued that emotional hurt is indeed one intrinsic aspect that defines us as ‘human’.
Certainly, if we work through and subsequently learn from our pain, we have grown and perhaps, with luck, may be better enabled to foresee the signs and avoid or at least abate the causes of it occurring again "I'm not sure that learning from hurt can stop people hurting us. But maybe could help us to bounce back from it more quickly? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Wouldn’t be nice to on occasion, be able to literally ‘switch off’ all emotions and apply pure logic to any given situation?
I've never wanted to, I must admit. I'd rather be hurt than numb.
It could be argued that emotional hurt is indeed one intrinsic aspect that defines us as ‘human’.
Certainly, if we work through and subsequently learn from our pain, we have grown and perhaps, with luck, may be better enabled to foresee the signs and avoid or at least abate the causes of it occurring again
I'm not sure that learning from hurt can stop people hurting us. But maybe could help us to bounce back from it more quickly? "I’d like to think so
Having said that, I really should be pretty much emotionally ‘bulletproof’ by this stage | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Wouldn’t be nice to on occasion, be able to literally ‘switch off’ all emotions and apply pure logic to any given situation?
I've never wanted to, I must admit. I'd rather be hurt than numb.
It could be argued that emotional hurt is indeed one intrinsic aspect that defines us as ‘human’.
Certainly, if we work through and subsequently learn from our pain, we have grown and perhaps, with luck, may be better enabled to foresee the signs and avoid or at least abate the causes of it occurring again
I'm not sure that learning from hurt can stop people hurting us. But maybe could help us to bounce back from it more quickly?
I’d like to think so
Having said that, I really should be pretty much emotionally ‘bulletproof’ by this stage "Ditto for many people on this thread, I should think | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
