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what is the funniest thing you have ever seen????

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

mine is....

I was at work as a kid with my boss at the time (right moanie git!) roofing. He was walking up the roof and as his head popped over the ridge of the roof a pigeon flew straight in his face! not sure who was more shocked my boss or the pigeon!! ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A mate was washing down some equipment with a hose outside our workshop. He came in to turn the tap off

Which promptly came apart and proceeded to soak him and the workshop. As there was no immediate danger to life or limb I fell about laughing as he tried to shield himself from the stream of water like a cartoon character, to his cries of "stop laughing you horrible chap and please help me*"

Was even more satisfying when I strolled up after a minute or two of laughing and turned off the stopcock which was a foot away from the broken tap!

*actual language used may have been stronger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok you asked.

Bit technical but bear with it.....

Used to work at an airport and the engineers had to do a check on an aircraft. Boeing 737 I think.

The valve where they drained the toilet tanks at the front of the plane could sometimes leak in flight. It would cause a build up of "blue ice" on the outside of the plane which could then come loose and fly down the engine.

So they used to check the valve. It was a 2 stage valve with an inner and outer "door" that worked individually.

So. Make sure the toilet tanks are full. And pressurise the airplane on the ground. Toilet system is now pressurised as well. Open the door outside the plane and open the outer stage of the valve to make sure there are no leaks.

Never leaked normally so complacency set in.

Yep. You guessed it. This night the inner valve had failed completely. Engineer opened the outer door and got hosed down by a pressurised 4" diameter stream of the entire contents of whatever was in the toilet tanks.

Absolutely gross but 1 of the funniest things I have ever seen

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I have a few,but a couple that come to mind, i had a friend that reenacted the scene when delboy fell through the bar.

Also one of my friends had a black minivan and we all crammed in it, we where going round a corner(slowly) and the doors opened and a friend fell out the back in the road, he was unharmed but we where laughing so much noone could tell the driver to stop

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I was once in a beer garden on a lovely sunny day with my bros, when one of them made a joke at another's expense, he then leaned his head backward and made this huge put on laugh at his own joke. At exactly that same time a passing bird promptly shat in his mouth!

I've never hurt so bad from laughing. Ribs cramping up, tears down my face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mine was when I worked as a labourer in Manchester at 17 with my uncle as well.

we were in the basement of a 13 story building shifting rubble when I heard my uncle scream. as I headed over all I could hear was him wretching and swearing. That's when the almighty smell hit me and I instantly went green and wanted to be sick!!

As I looked around the corner, their was my uncle covered head to toe in shit .... The pipe above his head had cracked and emptied all over the basement.

Apparently it had been backed up for months and the loo's were still being used

Took him about a week to get rid of the stench lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/11/12 14:10:35]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a student many years ago I was working in a furniture restoration shop. As the low man in the group my job was to strip all the old varnish and stains from the pieces before they were sanded, stained and finished.

To do this the furniture was put in a bath tub and a nasty chemical stripper was pumped through a brush and you had to scrub and clean the old wood. For protection I was kitted out in goggles, respirator, rubber apron and elbow gloves. When you started to clean a piece you couldn't stop cause the chemical would eventually burn the wood. So one day during the middle of cleaning a delicate piece with veneers, I was dying to take a pee, but I had to finish the job first otherwise it may get ruined. So being the consciencious chap I stuck at it getting more and more desperate to pee.

Eventually after what seemed like an age I got the piece out of the bath, neutralized the chemicals and ran to the bathroom pulling off googles, apron and gloves and as I sprinted to the urinal and let it fly.

The immense relief I had was suddenly replaced with sheer panic as the pure burning sensation in my penis started to make me howl, dance, hop and spin around looking for some form of rescue. I went back running through the workshop to a water hose, my manhood flying, me screaming obscenities as I found the water hose and proceeded to douse my crotch in water as my coworkers who had just walked in watched on in baffled amazement.

In my haste i had gotten chemicals from the glove on my hands and onto my penis.

I am glad to say there was no permanent damage and all systems are fully functional.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seeing a mate trying to impress a girl with his tequila slamming skills.

There was a gang of us so maybe 10/12 shots all lined up ready to slam.

Unfortunately, the tabletop he had chosen to do the slam wasn't attached to the base.

The both of them - and anyone stood within about 5ft were soaked thru.

She was less than impressed !

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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!

My old foreman brought a new mower back to the depot. It was a big bugger, walk behind but self propelled. He firstly tried to start it inside the van but failed so I helped him inside with it. He then started it but try as he might he couldn`t get it to move, cutters went round OK but not the transmission. Well he tried another lever he hadn`t tried before and the gear lever wouldn`t work, but then it did .... top gear ..... engine running 3/4 throttle He grabbed hold of the mower handles and was almost running to keep up on the polished floor of the old gymnasium that was then out shed, desperately trying to turn off the ignition switch which was a horrible round thing that you couldn`t grab when your hands were sweaty and you were panicking! Well my old foreman used to smoke rollups which were usually going out more than being smoked - not this time! Because he was breathing so hard you could have cut steel plate with it such was how it was glowing with sparks of tobacco coming off. He eventually managed to turn off the ignition and stood leaning against the handlebars of the machine panting like a greyhound!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose you had to be there?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I see the bosses son fall through a velux window once.... very funny! we was standing on the roof and he stepped back (not looking) slid on the glass that spins around and he landed on the kitchen floor!!! ha ha

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

another one was the boss was in the back of the van moaning it was a mess! so he chucked a drill box across the van and it landed on the handle of a fire extinguisher and set it off! you could no longer see the boss just hear him swearing trying to work out what the fuck was going on! That was a good day! ha ha

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I frequently laugh myself sick when one of the cats jumps for a window ledge and misses !

It's the attempt at nonchalantly as they walk away after yowling and all four legs flailing as they fall desperately trying to make sure they land on their paws

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a colony of ferile cats in an empty building behind my parents house. One freezing winter one of the poor buggers got hit by a car and lay dead at the side of the road ...yeah NOT funny but bare with me

There was another cat walking along and it kept shaking its poor cold paws between steps... then it copped for the dead one, it rushed over to the still warm body and settled itself down on it like it was a nice warm cusion to keep it feet and bum warm it sat there for ages too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a Ryan air flight to Italy once, two blokes in their 60s started having a proper fist fight on the steps leading up to the plane and one of the guys trousers randomly fell down to his ankles showing off his nasty undercrackers. Nearly wet myself!

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