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Do you make someone else pay for something that happened.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This is my social media. I work alone and have done since 2004.

Fb and the bird themed apps turned nasty or just plain shite.

So I found myself here for the forums and the sexy people. And I thank the wonderful and love characters that made me welcome and easy to want to stay logged in. …( I’ll get to my question then.)

When I read (threads/status/profiles) that people have lost faith in meeting because of too many bad experiences from fab (or in real life) it makes me think, that’s just those people you wouldn’t or shouldn’t meet again.

All I’m saying or asking is, why make someone in the future pay for something someone in the past did? There’s enough bad vibes out there, don’t add to it.

Do you look at new people in a good light or are you weary of possible bad times ahead?

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

We all become conditioned by our past experiences.

Spotting warning signs, and learning from them, is natural

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"This is my social media. I work alone and have done since 2004.

Fb and the bird themed apps turned nasty or just plain shite.

So I found myself here for the forums and the sexy people. And I thank the wonderful and love characters that made me welcome and easy to want to stay logged in. …( I’ll get to my question then.)

When I read (threads/status/profiles) that people have lost faith in meeting because of too many bad experiences from fab (or in real life) it makes me think, that’s just those people you wouldn’t or shouldn’t meet again.

All I’m saying or asking is, why make someone in the future pay for something someone in the past did? There’s enough bad vibes out there, don’t add to it.

Do you look at new people in a good light or are you weary of possible bad times ahead?

"

If you've had bad experiences, multiple in some cases, it's natural to build up certain barriers to protect yourself from getting hurt is it not?

If you touch a saucepan handle that's hot, would you use a tea towel next time just in case?

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
over a year ago

Next Door


"This is my social media. I work alone and have done since 2004.

Fb and the bird themed apps turned nasty or just plain shite.

So I found myself here for the forums and the sexy people. And I thank the wonderful and love characters that made me welcome and easy to want to stay logged in. …( I’ll get to my question then.)

When I read (threads/status/profiles) that people have lost faith in meeting because of too many bad experiences from fab (or in real life) it makes me think, that’s just those people you wouldn’t or shouldn’t meet again.

All I’m saying or asking is, why make someone in the future pay for something someone in the past did? There’s enough bad vibes out there, don’t add to it.

Do you look at new people in a good light or are you weary of possible bad times ahead?

If you've had bad experiences, multiple in some cases, it's natural to build up certain barriers to protect yourself from getting hurt is it not?

If you touch a saucepan handle that's hot, would you use a tea towel next time just in case?"

I was trying to say something similar, couldn't find the correct words.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT


"

If you've had bad experiences, multiple in some cases, it's natural to build up certain barriers to protect yourself from getting hurt is it not?

If you touch a saucepan handle that's hot, would you use a tea towel next time just in case?"

Exactly. I went on a blind date once and she turned out to be a right ugly munter, so now I always take a brown paper bag with me, just in case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had more bad experiences than good on here that's the reason I don't meet anymore. I don't put everyone in the same category but like with many aspects in life, I have to put myself first. I always have and always will take people at face value but there's nothing wrong with approaching things with caution.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"….

If you've had bad experiences, multiple in some cases, it's natural to build up certain barriers to protect yourself from getting hurt is it not?

If you touch a saucepan handle that's hot, would you use a tea towel next time just in case?"

You can’t argue there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive never had a bad experience on a meet, ok some were not quite what I expected, but generally always had a good time. The only bad exoerience has usually been in the form of private messages from guys who won't take no for an answer and then get abusive.

Or guys I have met getting a bit possessive and clingy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being cautious isn't making people pay for someone else's faults.

If 90% of interactions are nasty/ abusive/ creepy, a human would be pretty odd to carry on the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is my social media. I work alone and have done since 2004.

Fb and the bird themed apps turned nasty or just plain shite.

So I found myself here for the forums and the sexy people. And I thank the wonderful and love characters that made me welcome and easy to want to stay logged in. …( I’ll get to my question then.)

When I read (threads/status/profiles) that people have lost faith in meeting because of too many bad experiences from fab (or in real life) it makes me think, that’s just those people you wouldn’t or shouldn’t meet again.

All I’m saying or asking is, why make someone in the future pay for something someone in the past did? There’s enough bad vibes out there, don’t add to it.

Do you look at new people in a good light or are you weary of possible bad times ahead?

If you've had bad experiences, multiple in some cases, it's natural to build up certain barriers to protect yourself from getting hurt is it not?

***If you touch a saucepan handle that's hot, would you use a tea towel next time just in case?***"

***

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Being cautious isn't making people pay for someone else's faults.

If 90% of interactions are nasty/ abusive/ creepy, a human would be pretty odd to carry on the same."

This!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd hope that I really learn from experiences, including my mistakes and attempts to explore ways of doing things, etc. It should be me that's paying or investing, into my current and future experiences. I may still try things out that haven't been ideal beforehand. But serious errors are much less likely to be repeated. I haven't time to refine my approach and expertise with everyone and at everything, so I'll typically keep things a little easier for me.

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Visiting Scotland

Being cautious because of bad experiences isn’t making other people pay, it’s self protection.

Early on in my Fab experiences I was assaulted on a social. Tweaking a few things (only meeting in very public places, picking the places so I’m comfortable, ensuring I’m not sat in a corner that I can be blocked from leaving etc) is something I’ve been accused of being “demanding” and “picky” over, but imo not learning from situations is just stupid.

Repeatedly allowing the same situation to occur would be sacrificing yourself for the potential benefit of others and imo that’s just daft.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"

Do you look at new people in a good light or are you weary of possible bad times ahead?

"

Every potential new acquaintance is always looked at as an individual (or couple of course). It's not the person that you're wary of - it's the situation and what may/may not occur during any chat, social or play encounter that you'll be potentially more wary of due to past life experiences.

Which is perfectly healthy.

If every encounter was 100% perfect and every person you ever met was an angel who was completely respectful, impeccably polite, understanding of each and every desire, preference and boundary that you may have and you never had a single negative moment......then you may well drop your guard and be less safety conscious regarding future meets that you'd willingly hop in when an unmarked van pulled up offering you the chance to play with a box of puppies whilst gorging on your favourite sweets and cake.

Nobody expects things to go perfectly every time but if you assume the worst of people before you've even chatted, met or got naked with them, then to be honest what's the point of interacting in the first place?

A

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I unconsciously react to certain situations in a certain way because of my life experiences. I'm not making people pay for other people's actions, I'm the way I am in part due to other people's actions, we all are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you've had bad experiences, multiple in some cases, it's natural to build up certain barriers to protect yourself from getting hurt is it not?

If you touch a saucepan handle that's hot, would you use a tea towel next time just in case?

Exactly. I went on a blind date once and she turned out to be a right ugly munter, so now I always take a brown paper bag with me, just in case. "

Is that for you to put on yourself?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you've had bad experiences, multiple in some cases, it's natural to build up certain barriers to protect yourself from getting hurt is it not?

If you touch a saucepan handle that's hot, would you use a tea towel next time just in case?

Exactly. I went on a blind date once and she turned out to be a right ugly munter, so now I always take a brown paper bag with me, just in case.

Is that for you to put on yourself? "

Shocking how some men describe women!

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

It's the same in business or on life in general. Some people try to take advantage of others generosity, kindness or innocence.

You have to learn from negative experiences and change things or do them differently so it won't happen again.

Others won't be missing out but they have to be willing to meet some of my terms so I don't get burnt twice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you've had bad experiences, multiple in some cases, it's natural to build up certain barriers to protect yourself from getting hurt is it not?

If you touch a saucepan handle that's hot, would you use a tea towel next time just in case?

Exactly. I went on a blind date once and she turned out to be a right ugly munter, so now I always take a brown paper bag with me, just in case.

Is that for you to put on yourself?

Shocking how some men describe women! "

You should hear how she referred to him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you've had bad experiences, multiple in some cases, it's natural to build up certain barriers to protect yourself from getting hurt is it not?

If you touch a saucepan handle that's hot, would you use a tea towel next time just in case?

Exactly. I went on a blind date once and she turned out to be a right ugly munter, so now I always take a brown paper bag with me, just in case.

Is that for you to put on yourself?

Shocking how some men describe women!

You should hear how she referred to him "

If its anything like what he said then good on her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone is being patient and respectful due to something that's happened in a person's past, they're not 'paying' for what happened.

They're just being patient and respectful.

I'm wary because of negative experiences but I don't think I make people pay for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im not sure im that arsed unless its in my face constantly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say the only person that pays for my past experiences is myself.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


" Every potential new acquaintance is always looked at as an individual (or couple of course). It's not the person that you're wary of - it's the situation and what may/may not occur during any chat, social or play encounter that you'll be potentially more wary of due to past life experiences.

Which is perfectly healthy.

...

Nobody expects things to go perfectly every time but if you assume the worst of people before you've even chatted, met or got naked with them, then to be honest what's the point of interacting in the first place?

A"

Very much this for me. I try and remain rather naively optimistic and take people as they are - I enjoy getting to know new people and would rather do away with preconceptions than spend my time very cautious.

That being said, there are things that will make me a tad wary of someone/respond in a particular way. Only because of previous experiences that as much as I'd like to, I can't quite shake off.

We're all made of our experiences, the journey we've been on. How it manifests itself is nuanced - I don't think you should "punish" others because of your experiences but equally, I don't think you are always. If we take people as they are and respectfully acknowledge that they've been shaped by events, we're far more likely to have a better time.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT


"

If you've had bad experiences, multiple in some cases, it's natural to build up certain barriers to protect yourself from getting hurt is it not?

If you touch a saucepan handle that's hot, would you use a tea towel next time just in case?

Exactly. I went on a blind date once and she turned out to be a right ugly munter, so now I always take a brown paper bag with me, just in case.

Is that for you to put on yourself? "

No, I have a Lidls one for me, they’re much more fashionable

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

There's all kinds of weird logic here. OP are you making members of other social media pay by leaving them because of your bad experiences? Or is it just self protection rather than an act of punishing others. I suspect it is the former for both yourself and those on fab who have lost faith in meeting.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Sometimes it's just confirmation bias too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's the same in business or on life in general. Some people try to take advantage of others generosity, kindness or innocence.

You have to learn from negative experiences and change things or do them differently so it won't happen again.

Others won't be missing out but they have to be willing to meet some of my terms so I don't get burnt twice."

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames


"

If you've had bad experiences, multiple in some cases, it's natural to build up certain barriers to protect yourself from getting hurt is it not?

If you touch a saucepan handle that's hot, would you use a tea towel next time just in case?

Exactly. I went on a blind date once and she turned out to be a right ugly munter, so now I always take a brown paper bag with me, just in case.

Is that for you to put on yourself?

Shocking how some men describe women!

You should hear how she referred to him "

Apparently; she was happy to put it in so she didn’t have to look at him any more

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