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What is one piece of wisdom you would impart to the other sex?

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By *ammo89 OP   Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Let's say you could impart some kind of wisdom or information to the other sex, instantaneously allowing them to understand and take it on board without fail. What would it be?

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

Always use teeth when giving blow jobs

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

Rule for peeing whilst standing up: You must hit the porcelain (but nobody said whether it had to be inside or out).

Gbat

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

To men: women really aren't that bothered about penis......

Nah. Never mind

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Ladies: If a man says he’ll fix those shelves, he’ll do it……but these things take careful (months of) planning…

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By *o scandalousWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Women need to feel wanted to have sex - men need to have sex to feel wanted…

Most of the time this is true.

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By *ammo89 OP   Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"Women need to feel wanted to have sex - men need to have sex to feel wanted…

Most of the time this is true."

I remember Billy Connolly saying this years ago. Always stuck with me

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By *o scandalousWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Women need to feel wanted to have sex - men need to have sex to feel wanted…

Most of the time this is true.

I remember Billy Connolly saying this years ago. Always stuck with me "

Yip - the big yin wasn’t wrong with that!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Women are not a mysterious separate species, from another planet or difficult to understand.

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By *y gameMan
over a year ago

open wide


"Always use teeth when giving blow jobs "

Shark jobs are hard to come by, but never forgotten.

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By *y gameMan
over a year ago

open wide


"Women are not a mysterious separate species, from another planet or difficult to understand. "

I agree but still don't understand the instruction manual.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Women are not a mysterious separate species, from another planet or difficult to understand.

I agree but still don't understand the instruction manual."

Try using the index to find the bit you need

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Women are not a mysterious separate species, from another planet or difficult to understand.

I agree but still don't understand the instruction manual."

Then you aren't reading it correctly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Follow your heart.

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By *y gameMan
over a year ago

open wide


"Women are not a mysterious separate species, from another planet or difficult to understand.

I agree but still don't understand the instruction manual.

Then you aren't reading it correctly "

Just checked its upside down.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Women are not a mysterious separate species, from another planet or difficult to understand.

I agree but still don't understand the instruction manual.

Then you aren't reading it correctly

Just checked its upside down."

Try standing on your head

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT


"Women are not a mysterious separate species, from another planet or difficult to understand. "

HaHaaa, you nearly had me then, you and your wacky sense of humour

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By *y gameMan
over a year ago

open wide


"Women are not a mysterious separate species, from another planet or difficult to understand.

I agree but still don't understand the instruction manual.

Then you aren't reading it correctly

Just checked its upside down.

Try standing on your head"

Never had sex like that but if you insist .

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By *al kalMan
over a year ago

london

1. Offside position

It is not an offence to be in an offside position.

A player is in an offside position if:

any part of the head, body or feet is in the opponents’ half (excluding the halfway line) and

any part of the head, body or feet is nearer to the opponents’ goal line than both the ball and the second-last opponent

The hands and arms of all players, including the goalkeepers, are not considered. For the purposes of determining offside, the upper boundary of the arm is in line with the bottom of the armpit.

A player is not in an offside position if level with the:

second-last opponent or

last two opponents

2. Offside offence

A player in an offside position at the moment the ball is played or touched* by a team-mate is only penalised on becoming involved in active play by:

interfering with play by playing or touching a ball passed or touched by a team-mate or

interfering with an opponent by:

preventing an opponent from playing or being able to play the ball by clearly obstructing the opponent’s line of vision or

challenging an opponent for the ball or

clearly attempting to play a ball which is close when this action impacts on an opponent or

making an obvious action which clearly impacts on the ability of an opponent to play the ball

or

gaining an advantage by playing the ball or interfering with an opponent when it has:

rebounded or been deflected off the goalpost, crossbar or an opponent

been deliberately saved by any opponent

A player in an offside position receiving the ball from an opponent who deliberately plays the ball, including by deliberate handball, is not considered to have gained an advantage, unless it was a deliberate save by any opponent.

A ‘save’ is when a player stops, or attempts to stop, a ball which is going into or very close to the goal with any part of the body except the hands/arms (unless the goalkeeper within the penalty area).

In situations where:

a player moving from, or standing in, an offside position is in the way of an opponent and interferes with the movement of the opponent towards the ball this is an offside offence if it impacts on the ability of the opponent to play or challenge for the ball; if the player moves into the way of an opponent and impedes the opponent's progress (e.g blocks the opponent) the offence should be penalised under Law 12

a player in an offside position is moving towards the ball with the intention of playing the ball and is fouled before playing or attempting to play the ball, or challenging an opponent for the ball, the foul is penalised as it has occurred before the offside offence

an offence is committed against a player in an offside position who is already playing or attempting to play the ball, or challenging an opponent for the ball, the offside offence is penalised as it has occurred before the foul challenge

*The first point of contact of the 'play' or 'touch' of the ball should be used

3. No offence

There is no offside offence if a player receives the ball directly from:

a goal kick

a throw-in

a corner kick

4. Offences and sanctions

If an offside offence occurs, the referee awards an indirect free kick where the offence occurred, including if it is in the player’s own half of the field of play.

A defending player who leaves the field of play without the referee’s permission shall be considered to be on the goal line or touchline for the purposes of offside until the next stoppage in play or until the defending team has played the ball towards the halfway line and it is outside its penalty area. If the player left the field of play deliberately, the player must be cautioned when the ball is next out of play.

An attacking player may step or stay off the field of play not to be involved in active play. If the player re-enters from the goal line and becomes involved in play before the next stoppage in play, or the defending team has played the ball towards the halfway line and it is outside its penalty area, the player shall be considered to be positioned on the goal line for the purposes of offside. A player who deliberately leaves the field of play and re-enters without the referee’s permission and is not penalised for offside and gains an advantage, must be cautioned.

If an attacking player remains stationary between the goalposts and inside the goal as the ball enters the goal, a goal must be awarded unless the player commits an offside offence or Law 12 offence in which case play is restarted with an indirect or direct free kick.

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By *y gameMan
over a year ago

open wide


"1. Offside position

It is not an offence to be in an offside position.

A player is in an offside position if:

any part of the head, body or feet is in the opponents’ half (excluding the halfway line) and

any part of the head, body or feet is nearer to the opponents’ goal line than both the ball and the second-last opponent

The hands and arms of all players, including the goalkeepers, are not considered. For the purposes of determining offside, the upper boundary of the arm is in line with the bottom of the armpit.

A player is not in an offside position if level with the:

second-last opponent or

last two opponents

2. Offside offence

A player in an offside position at the moment the ball is played or touched* by a team-mate is only penalised on becoming involved in active play by:

interfering with play by playing or touching a ball passed or touched by a team-mate or

interfering with an opponent by:

preventing an opponent from playing or being able to play the ball by clearly obstructing the opponent’s line of vision or

challenging an opponent for the ball or

clearly attempting to play a ball which is close when this action impacts on an opponent or

making an obvious action which clearly impacts on the ability of an opponent to play the ball

or

gaining an advantage by playing the ball or interfering with an opponent when it has:

rebounded or been deflected off the goalpost, crossbar or an opponent

been deliberately saved by any opponent

A player in an offside position receiving the ball from an opponent who deliberately plays the ball, including by deliberate handball, is not considered to have gained an advantage, unless it was a deliberate save by any opponent.

A ‘save’ is when a player stops, or attempts to stop, a ball which is going into or very close to the goal with any part of the body except the hands/arms (unless the goalkeeper within the penalty area).

In situations where:

a player moving from, or standing in, an offside position is in the way of an opponent and interferes with the movement of the opponent towards the ball this is an offside offence if it impacts on the ability of the opponent to play or challenge for the ball; if the player moves into the way of an opponent and impedes the opponent's progress (e.g blocks the opponent) the offence should be penalised under Law 12

a player in an offside position is moving towards the ball with the intention of playing the ball and is fouled before playing or attempting to play the ball, or challenging an opponent for the ball, the foul is penalised as it has occurred before the offside offence

an offence is committed against a player in an offside position who is already playing or attempting to play the ball, or challenging an opponent for the ball, the offside offence is penalised as it has occurred before the foul challenge

*The first point of contact of the 'play' or 'touch' of the ball should be used

3. No offence

There is no offside offence if a player receives the ball directly from:

a goal kick

a throw-in

a corner kick

4. Offences and sanctions

If an offside offence occurs, the referee awards an indirect free kick where the offence occurred, including if it is in the player’s own half of the field of play.

A defending player who leaves the field of play without the referee’s permission shall be considered to be on the goal line or touchline for the purposes of offside until the next stoppage in play or until the defending team has played the ball towards the halfway line and it is outside its penalty area. If the player left the field of play deliberately, the player must be cautioned when the ball is next out of play.

An attacking player may step or stay off the field of play not to be involved in active play. If the player re-enters from the goal line and becomes involved in play before the next stoppage in play, or the defending team has played the ball towards the halfway line and it is outside its penalty area, the player shall be considered to be positioned on the goal line for the purposes of offside. A player who deliberately leaves the field of play and re-enters without the referee’s permission and is not penalised for offside and gains an advantage, must be cautioned.

If an attacking player remains stationary between the goalposts and inside the goal as the ball enters the goal, a goal must be awarded unless the player commits an offside offence or Law 12 offence in which case play is restarted with an indirect or direct free kick."

Fuck I just thought you had to wear a condom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women are not a mysterious separate species, from another planet or difficult to understand. "

This!

It's really not hard. We are human too.

Pxx

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Why do men think women need schooling on the offside rule in association football??

Here's schooling for you blokes - many of us are very well versed in the rules of association football, ta!!

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By *y gameMan
over a year ago

open wide


"Women are not a mysterious separate species, from another planet or difficult to understand.

This!

It's really not hard. We are human too.

Pxx "

Got it you want us soft, but hard when required.

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By *al kalMan
over a year ago

london


"1. Offside position

It is not an offence to be in an offside position.

A player is in an offside position if:

any part of the head, body or feet is in the opponents’ half (excluding the halfway line) and

any part of the head, body or feet is nearer to the opponents’ goal line than both the ball and the second-last opponent

The hands and arms of all players, including the goalkeepers, are not considered. For the purposes of determining offside, the upper boundary of the arm is in line with the bottom of the armpit.

A player is not in an offside position if level with the:

second-last opponent or

last two opponents

2. Offside offence

A player in an offside position at the moment the ball is played or touched* by a team-mate is only penalised on becoming involved in active play by:

interfering with play by playing or touching a ball passed or touched by a team-mate or

interfering with an opponent by:

preventing an opponent from playing or being able to play the ball by clearly obstructing the opponent’s line of vision or

challenging an opponent for the ball or

clearly attempting to play a ball which is close when this action impacts on an opponent or

making an obvious action which clearly impacts on the ability of an opponent to play the ball

or

gaining an advantage by playing the ball or interfering with an opponent when it has:

rebounded or been deflected off the goalpost, crossbar or an opponent

been deliberately saved by any opponent

A player in an offside position receiving the ball from an opponent who deliberately plays the ball, including by deliberate handball, is not considered to have gained an advantage, unless it was a deliberate save by any opponent.

A ‘save’ is when a player stops, or attempts to stop, a ball which is going into or very close to the goal with any part of the body except the hands/arms (unless the goalkeeper within the penalty area).

In situations where:

a player moving from, or standing in, an offside position is in the way of an opponent and interferes with the movement of the opponent towards the ball this is an offside offence if it impacts on the ability of the opponent to play or challenge for the ball; if the player moves into the way of an opponent and impedes the opponent's progress (e.g blocks the opponent) the offence should be penalised under Law 12

a player in an offside position is moving towards the ball with the intention of playing the ball and is fouled before playing or attempting to play the ball, or challenging an opponent for the ball, the foul is penalised as it has occurred before the offside offence

an offence is committed against a player in an offside position who is already playing or attempting to play the ball, or challenging an opponent for the ball, the offside offence is penalised as it has occurred before the foul challenge

*The first point of contact of the 'play' or 'touch' of the ball should be used

3. No offence

There is no offside offence if a player receives the ball directly from:

a goal kick

a throw-in

a corner kick

4. Offences and sanctions

If an offside offence occurs, the referee awards an indirect free kick where the offence occurred, including if it is in the player’s own half of the field of play.

A defending player who leaves the field of play without the referee’s permission shall be considered to be on the goal line or touchline for the purposes of offside until the next stoppage in play or until the defending team has played the ball towards the halfway line and it is outside its penalty area. If the player left the field of play deliberately, the player must be cautioned when the ball is next out of play.

An attacking player may step or stay off the field of play not to be involved in active play. If the player re-enters from the goal line and becomes involved in play before the next stoppage in play, or the defending team has played the ball towards the halfway line and it is outside its penalty area, the player shall be considered to be positioned on the goal line for the purposes of offside. A player who deliberately leaves the field of play and re-enters without the referee’s permission and is not penalised for offside and gains an advantage, must be cautioned.

If an attacking player remains stationary between the goalposts and inside the goal as the ball enters the goal, a goal must be awarded unless the player commits an offside offence or Law 12 offence in which case play is restarted with an indirect or direct free kick.

Fuck I just thought you had to wear a condom."

Not quite….

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)


"Why do men think women need schooling on the offside rule in association football??

Here's schooling for you blokes - many of us are very well versed in the rules of association football, ta!! "

Indeed.

It's not women who need educating... It's the refs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men might think they are good at playing the game but women always know the score.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He also like to feel desired.

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

I'm more interested in the size of the personality than the cock.

Lady Astor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women need to feel wanted to have sex - men need to have sex to feel wanted…

Most of the time this is true."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Men might think they are good at playing the game but women always know the score."

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By *entDomMan
over a year ago

Paddock Wood, Kent

Don't eat yellow snow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are not just pieces of meat we actually have feelings to

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