FabSwingers.com forum: So guys…

By *adyBugs OP Woman
over a year ago

cognito

…after a trashy evening watching “He’s Just Not That Into You” it got me thinking about the whole dating world.

Are there rules you are supposed to follow? Do you follow them?

Men/Masc peeps, if you like a woman do you just tell them straight away? If you aren’t interested in taking it to a second date do you tell her or use those lines in the film “I’ll call you” but never do?

Women/Femme folks, do you wait for guys to approach you? Or do you take control and go ask them out?

Non identity folk, what do you do when it comes to dating and your rules?

I don’t date so I can’t answer these questions myself so I’m asking you guys…plus I’m nosey!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't really dated properly for a while so I'm a bit rusty and also a bit lazy. I quite like to meet people where we just click and it makes things a lot easier. I'm not great at keeping conversations going even if I really like someone but especially if it feels a bit one sided. Ultimately though, if I like someone, I tell them. We're adults, it's easier to say it and then talk about that and if it'll go anywhere.

Pxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually just tell them.

Then we chat a bit more and they tell me that they watch "He's Just Not That Into You" and I don't know what to think

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By *adyBugs OP Woman
over a year ago

cognito

"I usually just tell them.

Then we chat a bit more and they tell me that they watch "He's Just Not That Into You" and I don't know what to think

Hey are you judging me *eyes you suspiciously*

I only watched it because…well because Scarlett Johansson…so there

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By *adyBugs OP Woman
over a year ago

cognito

"I haven't really dated properly for a while so I'm a bit rusty and also a bit lazy. I quite like to meet people where we just click and it makes things a lot easier. I'm not great at keeping conversations going even if I really like someone but especially if it feels a bit one sided. Ultimately though, if I like someone, I tell them. We're adults, it's easier to say it and then talk about that and if it'll go anywhere.

Pxx"

Oh yeah sometimes I have doubts about conversations, am I talking too much, not enough…arrrggh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually just tell them.

Then we chat a bit more and they tell me that they watch "He's Just Not That Into You" and I don't know what to think

Hey are you judging me *eyes you suspiciously*

I only watched it because…well because Scarlett Johansson…so there

No judgement here. Unless you've seen "He's Just Not That Into You 2: He Is Actually Into You"

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

In the past, when a woman has interested me, I've always made the first move and have not been shy in manifesting my interest. Call it being masculine if you will, but it's how I prefer to engage. Better to have the initiative

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell you later when iv time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m too old for this modern dating malarkey where someone who isn’t into you doesn’t tell you, or ‘ghosts’. I gave so much effort to find out something I already felt for years in a relationship, I’m not doing that again.

So here’s me. If I ask for a date, I fancy the pants off you to call it a date. If I want a second date, it means I like you a lot.

and I’ll tell you.

I’m pretty direct if I didn’t want anything more, because I would want the same, been there with all the maybe’s and it’s wasted time and energy. We all won’t ever get that back.

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By *adyBugs OP Woman
over a year ago

cognito

"Tell you later when iv time"

Errr why don’t you have time for me now??! Rude

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By *adyBugs OP Woman
over a year ago

cognito

"In the past, when a woman has interested me, I've always made the first move and have not been shy in manifesting my interest. Call it being masculine if you will, but it's how I prefer to engage. Better to have the initiative

I like this. Straight to the point, no guessing games

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I am the dating type anymore, as everyone whom I have had a date with of late has ghosted. I am happy to tell men I like them and I'd like to go on a date with them. Not shy.

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By *adyBugs OP Woman
over a year ago

cognito

"I’m too old for this modern dating malarkey where someone who isn’t into you doesn’t tell you, or ‘ghosts’. I gave so much effort to find out something I already felt for years in a relationship, I’m not doing that again.

So here’s me. If I ask for a date, I fancy the pants off you to call it a date. If I want a second date, it means I like you a lot.

and I’ll tell you.

I’m pretty direct if I didn’t want anything more, because I would want the same, been there with all the maybe’s and it’s wasted time and energy. We all won’t ever get that back.

This! All this. It’s those reasons I stopped dating, can’t be doing with that nonsense. I like your direct and respectful approach. We need more of this in the dating pool

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By *adyBugs OP Woman
over a year ago

cognito

"I don't think I am the dating type anymore, as everyone whom I have had a date with of late has ghosted. I am happy to tell men I like them and I'd like to go on a date with them. Not shy."

Ahh I’m sorry they ghost you. That’s shitty behaviour and you deserve way more!

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By *ammo89Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Haven't dated in a while, but I would give it a few dates before declaring whether I like them or not, as I think anything is possible in those early stages. For example, you could get on well enough to be just platonic friends even if you aren't romantically into each other after those few dates

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have always found it hard to tell women to their face when I don't feel it during the first date. At the same time I don't ghost them. I usually take a day to think it out, make sure that I am doing the right thing and then send a polite message saying that we don't have much chemistry.

To be fair, the reverse has happened more often with the women messaging me that there isn't much chemistry

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Life is easy for me - not looking for another partner so don’t have to worry about all these “dating” rules.

If it is a fab meet/social then just have a drink and some fun. If they are not for you then just have a drink. Easy

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

what does ghosted mean,, not use to all the sayings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what does ghosted mean,, not use to all the sayings"

They just disappear and never reply to another message

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

right ok thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think I am the dating type anymore, as everyone whom I have had a date with of late has ghosted. I am happy to tell men I like them and I'd like to go on a date with them. Not shy.

Ahh I’m sorry they ghost you. That’s shitty behaviour and you deserve way more!

Thank you. Seems to happen to a lot of people sadly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what does ghosted mean,, not use to all the sayings"

Ghosted means stopping contact with no warning or explanation.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"what does ghosted mean,, not use to all the sayings

Ghosted means stopping contact with no warning or explanation. "

I went out with Casper once, we're still in touch

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I don't even know any more OP. I'm too old to play silly games.

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Its been nearly 30 years since my dating days so i got absolutely no clue what id do nowadays

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I don't even know any more OP. I'm too old to play silly games.

Meli likes Janet Kay

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

I've been ghosted. Sometimes it's a hard block, other times they just stop talking, or you get that vibe. Life's too short

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Might be a bit of an odd rule, but I always let the female ask me out. As I tend to make it clear I like them but I leave it to them to ask me out once they feel comfortable.

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

So here’s me. If I ask for a date, I fancy the pants off you to call it a date. If I want a second date, it means I like you a lot.

and I’ll tell you.

I’m pretty direct if I didn’t want anything more, because I would want the same, been there with all the maybe’s and it’s wasted time and energy. We all won’t ever get that back.

This

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont date either so no idea but if i like someone i tend to make it quite obvious and piss all the way up there leg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tell you later when iv time

Errr why don’t you have time for me now??! Rude

"
so needy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m fairly traditional when it comes to dating, I’m also quite shy so I like the guy to lead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never make the first move, not that confident lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"…after a trashy evening watching “He’s Just Not That Into You” it got me thinking about the whole dating world.

Are there rules you are supposed to follow? Do you follow them?

Women/Femme folks, do you wait for guys to approach you? Or do you take control and go ask them out?

Non identity folk, what do you do when it comes to dating and your rules?

I don’t date so I can’t answer these questions myself so I’m asking you guys…plus I’m nosey! "

Pfft, what riddiculousness. If I like someone, I go ask them out. Dont care what gender they are.

I actually find it very weird dating heteronormative men. They follow these weird unspoken rules and act very strangely... like, rather than communicating and saying "Hey, Id really like to kiss you right now", they just try to "sense" when the right moment is. And you can tell when they are trying to do "the right moment" because they go all quiet and serious and look slightly anxious. There is a moment when everyone feels awkward, and then you kiss (or I say "err...I feel like you want to kiss me right now, is that whats going on for you?")

What a weird, crazy, stupid thing to do. Nah, I just ask, and I communicate all the time. I also establish very early on with heteronormative guys that they are not responsible for the relationship progression or the way sex happens. Then they can chill the heck out. Dating other girls or queer folk is much less weird.

I am not an enby but I know a fair few! Im gonna say that one of the main reasons people identify as non-binary is because of these stupid rules and their desire to not play by them.

Love and good communication!

Fay

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