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Tips for Single Men..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

..on how to pull single women.

=============================

Location: any supermarket, Sainsburys for your more refined bint, Tescos if any MILF will do.

Tools: one kid. two is better, but one will do (if you don't have any of your own, borrow one).

Approach: This is a two-pronged attack and you have to size your target up first. If she looks a bit domme then struggle with the trolley whilst trying unsuccessfully to control your kid/s. However, don't overdo it as you might have sussed her incorrectly and what she really prefers is a man who's got his shit together so be careful here - struggle a bit with the trolley and make the kid/s laugh.

The Sucker Punch: Choose a till that's near the till your target is at, make sure she's within earshot and engage an old granny in convo (someone always says something to them or you). Once you've paid for your shopping and loaded it all up in the right bags (frozen stuff together, bread stuff together etc) and you've politely told the young scout or girl guide at the checkout to bugger off as you can pack it better without breaking anything or squashing the bread with a four pack of baked beanz), you then need to take your trolley (with kid/s) to the mother/baby changing room and manoevre your trolley inside said changing room making sure your target sees you do it. Change kid/s nappies/wet trousers/leggings etc and then emerge triumphantly with everything back in place and SMILE (that bit's important). If she's interested she'll have hung about reading a magazine she has no intention of buying at the magazine rack near the entrance/exit. She'll be looking for you but she won't know if you're smiling at her or smiling at yourself for being a fucking brilliant dad and she'll feel compelled to speak to you. It will go something along the lines of "Wow, double-trouble huh?" and you reply without being smug, "No trouble at all." Now she's going to start fishing for info. "Yours?" she asks. "Yup, both mine." I answer. Bearing in mind I'm 47 and I can see her mind whirling away as she can see I'm not in my 20s, so she says, "I wasn't sure as they're quite young and you're not." "Nope, I'm not, I'm 47." "Wow!" says she, "I wouldn't have put you past 40!" ... move into position, and here's the killer, "Thanks for the compliment, would you like to be my third wife?" and smile, keep smiling. The ice is broken, exchange phone numbers, shag her at the weekend.

If I was single that is.

There's something about men on their own with children that seems to hit a woman straight between the eyes and make her go gaga. I fucking love shopping.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Whenever I take my son out he's the one who does all the pulling!

Cheeky sods only 6 as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..on how to pull single women.

=============================

Location: any supermarket, Sainsburys for your more refined bint, Tescos if any MILF will do.

Tools: one kid. two is better, but one will do (if you don't have any of your own, borrow one).

Approach: This is a two-pronged attack and you have to size your target up first. If she looks a bit domme then struggle with the trolley whilst trying unsuccessfully to control your kid/s. However, don't overdo it as you might have sussed her incorrectly and what she really prefers is a man who's got his shit together so be careful here - struggle a bit with the trolley and make the kid/s laugh.

The Sucker Punch: Choose a till that's near the till your target is at, make sure she's within earshot and engage an old granny in convo (someone always says something to them or you). Once you've paid for your shopping and loaded it all up in the right bags (frozen stuff together, bread stuff together etc) and you've politely told the young scout or girl guide at the checkout to bugger off as you can pack it better without breaking anything or squashing the bread with a four pack of baked beanz), you then need to take your trolley (with kid/s) to the mother/baby changing room and manoevre your trolley inside said changing room making sure your target sees you do it. Change kid/s nappies/wet trousers/leggings etc and then emerge triumphantly with everything back in place and SMILE (that bit's important). If she's interested she'll have hung about reading a magazine she has no intention of buying at the magazine rack near the entrance/exit. She'll be looking for you but she won't know if you're smiling at her or smiling at yourself for being a fucking brilliant dad and she'll feel compelled to speak to you. It will go something along the lines of "Wow, double-trouble huh?" and you reply without being smug, "No trouble at all." Now she's going to start fishing for info. "Yours?" she asks. "Yup, both mine." I answer. Bearing in mind I'm 47 and I can see her mind whirling away as she can see I'm not in my 20s, so she says, "I wasn't sure as they're quite young and you're not." "Nope, I'm not, I'm 47." "Wow!" says she, "I wouldn't have put you past 40!" ... move into position, and here's the killer, "Thanks for the compliment, would you like to be my third wife?" and smile, keep smiling. The ice is broken, exchange phone numbers, shag her at the weekend.

If I was single that is.

There's something about men on their own with children that seems to hit a woman straight between the eyes and make her go gaga. I fucking love shopping. "

Now that is class!! Especially the Sainsburys, Tesco comparison.. and it's true too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try puppies too - especially with the younger crowd and childless women in parks on a hot summers day!

Preferably one that's cute and licks a lot!

(The puppy - not the woman. Although.......)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone got a child I can borrow at the weekend ............

God that sounds so wrong, strike that I'll have a wank instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try puppies too - especially with the younger crowd and childless women in parks on a hot summers day!

Preferably one that's cute and licks a lot!

(The puppy - not the woman. Although.......) "

Yep - went through 14 Golden Retrievers, 4 GSD's, 3 Staffs (well, ya gotta use something to attract the biker chicks..) and a Shit-Sue one year.

Well, the breeder did say there was a 7 day return policy....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Initiating conversation is half the battle. :D!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I'm a sucker for seeing men with babies and small children and smiling. The children have to be clean and behaving well and the father/male carer has to look happy. You are naughty, naughty men!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm a sucker for seeing men with babies and small children and smiling. The children have to be clean and behaving well and the father/male carer has to look happy. You are naughty, naughty men! "

You'd have been positively drooling had you been in Sainsburys, Team Valley, Gateshead earlier today then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does not work for me as I do not like children.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Does not work for me as I do not like children.

"

You can be the childcatcher in our production of A Fab Forum Christmas Carol (sort of Charles Dickens meets Chitty Chitty Bang Bang)

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I borrowed a baby to help pull my ex wife. Truth! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does not work for me as I do not like children.

You can be the childcatcher in our production of A Fab Forum Christmas Carol (sort of Charles Dickens meets Chitty Chitty Bang Bang) "
I feel a thread coming on..... "Who would play Truly Scrumptious in the 'Fab Forum Christmas Carol Bang' ?". Should get some interesting and, occasionally, grovelingly fawning suggestions....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I put myself forward as the grumpy dad...... everyone would say I was type cast (and never attract all these ladies..... bugger that's what I'm doing wrong !!!)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I borrowed a baby to help pull my ex wife. Truth! Lol"

Living proof it works lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Does not work for me as I do not like children.

You can be the childcatcher in our production of A Fab Forum Christmas Carol (sort of Charles Dickens meets Chitty Chitty Bang Bang) I feel a thread coming on..... "Who would play Truly Scrumptious in the 'Fab Forum Christmas Carol Bang' ?". Should get some interesting and, occasionally, grovelingly fawning suggestions....

"

Go on then. A Fab Forum Christmas Carol.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"I borrowed a baby to help pull my ex wife. Truth! Lol

Living proof it works lol "

Shit. Did I take it back? I can't remember now... there must be a really pissed of 14 year old out there somewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does not work for me as I do not like children.

You can be the childcatcher in our production of A Fab Forum Christmas Carol (sort of Charles Dickens meets Chitty Chitty Bang Bang) "

.

Or one of the witches in Witches!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I picked up my nephew and carried him by the scruff of his back (clothes!) once whilst shopping because he kept running off.

My mum told me I used to do that and that I should let him teach me a lesson.

Not when I can keep ahold of him I wont!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tried with kittens. Even now at 2 years my cat can still pull peoples attention. I can't tho. Lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe I shall go shopping in Asda because I might have more chance of pulling anyone than here, especially when I make a firm arrangement and low and behold, 2 weeks in a row, they cannot make it yet are all excited about meeting, yea right, kiss my ass are they

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Whenever I take my son out he's the one who does all the pulling!

Cheeky sods only 6 as well "

My son is 2 and has better luck with women than me haha.. Proper ladies man he is haha..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I picked up my nephew and carried him by the scruff of his back (clothes!) once whilst shopping because he kept running off.

My mum told me I used to do that and that I should let him teach me a lesson.

Not when I can keep ahold of him I wont! "

Haha i do that with my son.. He does that mid air run haha..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

advice to single men is keep to clubs becose u know where u stand to much tennis texting and lack luster reploses and it all broken promises

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"advice to single men is keep to clubs becose u know where u stand to much tennis texting and lack luster reploses and it all broken promises"

A promise means nothing until it is delivered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/11/12 23:28:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..on how to pull single women.

=============================

Location: any supermarket, Sainsburys for your more refined bint, Tescos if any MILF will do.

Tools: one kid. two is better, but one will do (if you don't have any of your own, borrow one).

Approach: This is a two-pronged attack and you have to size your target up first. If she looks a bit domme then struggle with the trolley whilst trying unsuccessfully to control your kid/s. However, don't overdo it as you might have sussed her incorrectly and what she really prefers is a man who's got his shit together so be careful here - struggle a bit with the trolley and make the kid/s laugh.

The Sucker Punch: Choose a till that's near the till your target is at, make sure she's within earshot and engage an old granny in convo (someone always says something to them or you). Once you've paid for your shopping and loaded it all up in the right bags (frozen stuff together, bread stuff together etc) and you've politely told the young scout or girl guide at the checkout to bugger off as you can pack it better without breaking anything or squashing the bread with a four pack of baked beanz), you then need to take your trolley (with kid/s) to the mother/baby changing room and manoevre your trolley inside said changing room making sure your target sees you do it. Change kid/s nappies/wet trousers/leggings etc and then emerge triumphantly with everything back in place and SMILE (that bit's important). If she's interested she'll have hung about reading a magazine she has no intention of buying at the magazine rack near the entrance/exit. She'll be looking for you but she won't know if you're smiling at her or smiling at yourself for being a fucking brilliant dad and she'll feel compelled to speak to you. It will go something along the lines of "Wow, double-trouble huh?" and you reply without being smug, "No trouble at all." Now she's going to start fishing for info. "Yours?" she asks. "Yup, both mine." I answer. Bearing in mind I'm 47 and I can see her mind whirling away as she can see I'm not in my 20s, so she says, "I wasn't sure as they're quite young and you're not." "Nope, I'm not, I'm 47." "Wow!" says she, "I wouldn't have put you past 40!" ... move into position, and here's the killer, "Thanks for the compliment, would you like to be my third wife?" and smile, keep smiling. The ice is broken, exchange phone numbers, shag her at the weekend.

If I was single that is.

There's something about men on their own with children that seems to hit a woman straight between the eyes and make her go gaga. I fucking love shopping. "

Cheers feeling ice n sleepy now .... Zzzzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"advice to single men is keep to clubs becose u know where u stand to much tennis texting and lack luster reploses and it all broken promises"

Bollocks, that advice should be for single women as yet another meet cancelled and funnily enough, cannot accommodate on his profile, guess he is the same as last weeks idiot, chickened out as his conscious got the better of him or his wife wouldn't let him out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I tried with kittens. Even now at 2 years my cat can still pull peoples attention. I can't tho. Lol. "

I love cats, easily swayed by their cuteness

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I am completely turned off by men with kids in a supermarket. Maybe I'm a bit weird. Prefer them solo.

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