FabSwingers.com forum: Do you ever wish you had the power

By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

to "unsee" things you have seen? I am talking for example, but not exclusively, the sad story about the man who cut his wife's throat, or even some pictures or posts on fabs.

How do you manage to erase the image, seen or imagined from you memory?

Genuine question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I do

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

You dont, they are with you for life now.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Yes I do

Me, too. Perhaps I shouldn't try so hard ... they say if you are trying to forget something it sticks to your mind like glue, don't they?

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"You dont, they are with you for life now.

I would love to find a way, not just for myself. When my kids were young, I used give them calming images to think about like summer meadows etc but you cannot do that for yourself, really?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I very deliberately don't read some news stories as I'd never be able to forget the details.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very much so. Although words are what I respond to, it's the images which remain in my head. For weeks, months, even years. I have to force myself to detour and distract.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I very deliberately don't read some news stories as I'd never be able to forget the details.

I have done this (for example, I deliberately did not read or watch everything around 9/11 and more recently about Ukraine but sometimes it is there and you just can't escape?

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

I know a guy that stress tests air planes for their air worthiness. I wish I didn't know that as his education is beyond numb. If you believe anything you read online, that might worry you.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Very much so. Although words are what I respond to, it's the images which remain in my head. For weeks, months, even years. I have to force myself to detour and distract. "
How do you manage to achieve that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes.18 Years ago i saw a thing online that was pure evil, animal cruelty being filmed and it has stayed with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You dont, they are with you for life now.

I would love to find a way, not just for myself. When my kids were young, I used give them calming images to think about like summer meadows etc but you cannot do that for yourself, really?"

I often do a guided tour in my head of a favourite place. It forces my brain to focus on the detail.

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

Kinda like Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! You would certainly need it to be coupled with the information to know to not go and look a pretty whatever it was again

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

not easy try to think of things that have made you happy,, and of course made you laugh,, positive x

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I know a guy that stress tests air planes for their air worthiness. I wish I didn't know that as his education is beyond numb. If you believe anything you read online, that might worry you."
Imagination running riot, eh?

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Yes.18 Years ago i saw a thing online that was pure evil, animal cruelty being filmed and it has stayed with me"
That is so sad. {sad}

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"You dont, they are with you for life now.

I would love to find a way, not just for myself. When my kids were young, I used give them calming images to think about like summer meadows etc but you cannot do that for yourself, really?

I often do a guided tour in my head of a favourite place. It forces my brain to focus on the detail. "
That is helpful actually.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Kinda like Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! You would certainly need it to be coupled with the information to know to not go and look a pretty whatever it was again"
I sometimes struggle to make that jump from leaving the horrible image behind and focus on a beautiful image instead.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

I didn't add I found that out over 20 years ago - like others have said above, it's stayed. I've no idea what he's doing now

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"not easy try to think of things that have made you happy,, and of course made you laugh,, positive x"
Laughter being the best medicine for so many things.. it's just getting to that point really, isn't it?

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

"I very deliberately don't read some news stories as I'd never be able to forget the details.

I have done this (for example, I deliberately did not read or watch everything around 9/11 and more recently about Ukraine but sometimes it is there and you just can't escape?"

I saw some pretty messed up stuff as a teenager, they never really left me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've definitely seen stuff I could happily have lived my whole life without seeing but beyond wishing I hadn't had to see it for the sake of those involved I'm actually proud of the fact that by seeing it and doing the stuff I did I helped make things better than they were.

It gets easier the ones that stick in my mind the most are the oldest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You dont, they are with you for life now.

I would love to find a way, not just for myself. When my kids were young, I used give them calming images to think about like summer meadows etc but you cannot do that for yourself, really?

I often do a guided tour in my head of a favourite place. It forces my brain to focus on the detail. That is helpful actually."

It does work. I have a couple I use. One is the town I grew up in - all the town centre streets. I have panic attacks so I guess I am used to having to force myself to switch my brain over to another channel. If that makes sense.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I very deliberately don't read some news stories as I'd never be able to forget the details.

I have done this (for example, I deliberately did not read or watch everything around 9/11 and more recently about Ukraine but sometimes it is there and you just can't escape?

I saw some pretty messed up stuff as a teenager, they never really left me"
If I knew how to send a hug on here... I would!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not easy try to think of things that have made you happy,, and of course made you laugh,, positive x Laughter being the best medicine for so many things.. it's just getting to that point really, isn't it?"

Definitely helps. There's a time and place but being able to laugh about something absolutely doesn't mean you don't care about it.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I've definitely seen stuff I could happily have lived my whole life without seeing but beyond wishing I hadn't had to see it for the sake of those involved I'm actually proud of the fact that by seeing it and doing the stuff I did I helped make things better than they were.

It gets easier the ones that stick in my mind the most are the oldest.

Mr"
That is encouraging in the sense that you built a resilience based on a negative event.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I very deliberately don't read some news stories as I'd never be able to forget the details.

I have done this (for example, I deliberately did not read or watch everything around 9/11 and more recently about Ukraine but sometimes it is there and you just can't escape?"

It can be difficult to escape it sometimes.

The tip of focussing on a new image sounds worth a try.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Definitely helps. There's a time and place but being able to laugh about something absolutely doesn't mean you don't care about it.

Mr"
Oh, I get that - otherwise we would never laugh having attended a funeral, would we? And sometimes the wakes actually bring out the lighter side of life in people. Almost like the sad side is saturated, therefore, we go to the light-hearted one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I very deliberately don't read some news stories as I'd never be able to forget the details.

I have done this (for example, I deliberately did not read or watch everything around 9/11 and more recently about Ukraine but sometimes it is there and you just can't escape?

I saw some pretty messed up stuff as a teenager, they never really left me If I knew how to send a hug on here... I would! "

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I very deliberately don't read some news stories as I'd never be able to forget the details.

I have done this (for example, I deliberately did not read or watch everything around 9/11 and more recently about Ukraine but sometimes it is there and you just can't escape?

It can be difficult to escape it sometimes.

The tip of focussing on a new image sounds worth a try. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No.

There are many things I wish I hadn't seen or heard but an ability to wipe memories could be awful.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I very deliberately don't read some news stories as I'd never be able to forget the details.

I have done this (for example, I deliberately did not read or watch everything around 9/11 and more recently about Ukraine but sometimes it is there and you just can't escape?

I saw some pretty messed up stuff as a teenager, they never really left me If I knew how to send a hug on here... I would!

"
Ah, thank you.

back - fingers crossed that worked

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I wish I could unlearn the real meaning behind the lyrics to Mr brightside. It's ruined that song forever for me

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"No.

There are many things I wish I hadn't seen or heard but an ability to wipe memories could be awful.

"
What makes you say that, I wonder?

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I wish I could unlearn the real meaning behind the lyrics to Mr brightside. It's ruined that song forever for me

"
I can understand that. Sometimes it is better to not know or see or hear....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha ha yes sometimes the eye bleach is need

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"I wish I could unlearn the real meaning behind the lyrics to Mr brightside. It's ruined that song forever for me

I can understand that. Sometimes it is better to not know or see or hear...."

The song genuinely makes me sad now. PSA for all that don't know yet. Don't Google it.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Ha ha yes sometimes the eye bleach is need "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wish I could unlearn the real meaning behind the lyrics to Mr brightside. It's ruined that song forever for me

I can understand that. Sometimes it is better to not know or see or hear....

The song genuinely makes me sad now. PSA for all that don't know yet. Don't Google it."

I just did.

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"I wish I could unlearn the real meaning behind the lyrics to Mr brightside. It's ruined that song forever for me

I can understand that. Sometimes it is better to not know or see or hear....

The song genuinely makes me sad now. PSA for all that don't know yet. Don't Google it.

I just did.

Noooooo! I warned you!

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I wish I could unlearn the real meaning behind the lyrics to Mr brightside. It's ruined that song forever for me

I can understand that. Sometimes it is better to not know or see or hear....

The song genuinely makes me sad now. PSA for all that don't know yet. Don't Google it.

I just did.

I did as well...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No.

There are many things I wish I hadn't seen or heard but an ability to wipe memories could be awful.

What makes you say that, I wonder? "

I think I'd regret my use of it. And how would I know what to avoid if I couldn't remember the hurt certain things cause?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha yes sometimes the eye bleach is need

Ha ha hope all is well with you x

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I wish I could unlearn the real meaning behind the lyrics to Mr brightside. It's ruined that song forever for me

I can understand that. Sometimes it is better to not know or see or hear....

The song genuinely makes me sad now. PSA for all that don't know yet. Don't Google it.

I just did.

Noooooo! I warned you!

Actually that made me chuckle... despite everything I said before, and others have said... I could not stop myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont watch the news as it bums me out but the dark things iv seen and the things iv had to live thru to protect my kids i hope i never forget its made me cautious and a better protector i know what people are capable of and im ready for it all

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"I wish I could unlearn the real meaning behind the lyrics to Mr brightside. It's ruined that song forever for me

I can understand that. Sometimes it is better to not know or see or hear....

The song genuinely makes me sad now. PSA for all that don't know yet. Don't Google it.

I just did.

I did as well...

Nooooooo. Damn human curiosity!

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Ha ha yes sometimes the eye bleach is need

Ha ha hope all is well with you x"

Indeed, same with you, I hope x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I do

Me, too. Perhaps I shouldn't try so hard ... they say if you are trying to forget something it sticks to your mind like glue, don't they?"

Yeah sometimes it’s best not to and you don’t think/remember the image…

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I dont watch the news as it bums me out but the dark things iv seen and the things iv had to live thru to protect my kids i hope i never forget its made me cautious and a better protector i know what people are capable of and im ready for it all"
Understandable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'I've seen things you people wouldn't believe..', credits to Roy Batty..

In over 30 years of military and police service, yes I have visual memories I wish I could erase..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure how I do it but I disassociate from it.

I think it stems from a personal mental health breakthrough where I can now talk about my experiences, subjectively, without taking myself back to that place.

So for your scenario, I would view something by kind of taking emotion away beforehand and afterwards depositing it in a mental recycle bin (I picture an actual recycle bin and chuck it in).

Then I make sure I have a happy thing to see/think of afterwards and I talk through that so it becomes a stronger memory than whatever came before.

Tends to do the trick for me but I am also really good at forgetting things (good and bad) but that is a blessing and a curse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/07/22 19:58:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha yes sometimes the eye bleach is need

Ha ha hope all is well with you x

Indeed, same with you, I hope x"

I am good thank you good to see your good been a little while from a seen you post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

or awful people you have met or bad memories

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

goes to google meaning behind mr brightside xx

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"goes to google meaning behind mr brightside xx"

Not another one!

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I avoid it whenever i can, but if I mistakenly see it, I have to over expose myself to it, in order to desensitise myself from it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive got adhd it would have done my head in

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

Can't not remember some sights etc that were part of the line of work, and whilst a couple of them do bring back uncomfortableness a bit of time in nature acts as a great reset..

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I avoid it whenever i can, but if I mistakenly see it, I have to over expose myself to it, in order to desensitise myself from it"
Interesting, I can see that work for some.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I'm not sure how I do it but I disassociate from it.

I think it stems from a personal mental health breakthrough where I can now talk about my experiences, subjectively, without taking myself back to that place.

So for your scenario, I would view something by kind of taking emotion away beforehand and afterwards depositing it in a mental recycle bin (I picture an actual recycle bin and chuck it in).

Then I make sure I have a happy thing to see/think of afterwards and I talk through that so it becomes a stronger memory than whatever came before.

Tends to do the trick for me but I am also really good at forgetting things (good and bad) but that is a blessing and a curse

I can also see that this....

"subjectively, without taking myself back to that place"

sounds like it might work for some.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Can't not remember some sights etc that were part of the line of work, and whilst a couple of them do bring back uncomfortableness a bit of time in nature acts as a great reset..

"
Nature and time.... absolutely agree that should be part of it.

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

"I avoid it whenever i can, but if I mistakenly see it, I have to over expose myself to it, in order to desensitise myself from it"

Something like this,like a moth to the flame in some respects..in order to try and learn from it over time

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

Oddly enough, whereas there are lots of sad and ugly things I have seen/heard/read/experienced or just know, I actually don't want to un-know them. They are all a part of what makes me who I am and how I think, feel and behave - hopefully for the better...not knowing bad, evil, sad etc means I may very well have had less inclination to see the positive, happy and inspirational things but most of all - to appreciate every healthy and happy moment life has given me and my loved ones - to be grateful and mindful...and to pass it forward and wish it on others

. Mrs

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