FabSwingers.com forum: Funniest demands from people on fab

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What’s the funniest thing someone has demanded from you on here?

As a sub guy I get a lot of demands for hundreds of pounds to meet (clear warning sign they aren’t serious) but today took the biscuit…

After a few messages a couple demanded I buy them a brand new car and when I laughed and said no they blocked me

Were they seriously expecting me to say yeh sure I’ll drop 50k on a car for someone I’ve spoke to for 5 minutes..

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I was asked to wear a pair of shoes for a week and not wash my feet for two days ahead of a meet. They wanted to keep the shoes for sniffing/licking.

I declined on the basis that I felt physically sick at the thought of not washing my feet and I wasn't willing to give away any of my shoes.

Apparently that was unreasonable and I was kink shaming.*

*You enjoy your kinks, I don't have to be involved.

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

What am i doing wrong in here ..i dont get sh*t like that ..dont feel as if im getting the full fab experience lol

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By *heaspieswingerMan
over a year ago

Peak District

"I was asked to wear a pair of shoes for a week and not wash my feet for two days ahead of a meet. They wanted to keep the shoes for sniffing/licking.

I declined on the basis that I felt physically sick at the thought of not washing my feet and I wasn't willing to give away any of my shoes.

Apparently that was unreasonable and I was kink shaming.*

*You enjoy your kinks, I don't have to be involved."

My feet feel itchy now… Like they’re feeling how it’s be to not be washed for over 24 hours!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How dare you not be willing to donate shoes for his pleasure… how unreasonable

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By *ymbunnyfitCouple
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Asked to wear same thong for week then post them xx

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By *ad boy maverickMan
over a year ago

basildon

PMSL. And I thought I was hard done by with bottles of wine and chocolates to hand .

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"What am i doing wrong in here ..i dont get sh*t like that ..dont feel as if im getting the full fab experience lol "

Shall I send you an unreasonable demand as part of my mission for Fab to be inclusive?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can imagine the postman holding it at arms length by the time it arrived in the heatwave

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

"What am i doing wrong in here ..i dont get sh*t like that ..dont feel as if im getting the full fab experience lol

Shall I send you an unreasonable demand as part of my mission for Fab to be inclusive?"

Yes please ...who knows i might even be up for it ..doubt it mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What am i doing wrong in here ..i dont get sh*t like that ..dont feel as if im getting the full fab experience lol "

I can send you a weird request message if it helps with the full fab experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve never received demands.

Come on ladies, I’m getting FOMO now.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've had lots of demands, none of them were particularly weird and I didn't find them funny.

I thought my two word response to all of them was very witty though

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By *ymbunnyfitCouple
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Don’t get it myself get guys asking hubby to fuck me with my thongs on then clean up and post them . Had guys ask if they could pay to watch us peeping tom style!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve never received demands.

Come on ladies, I’m getting FOMO now.

Done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had one from

HMRC

Recently

Apart from that feck all

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West

Guy said he'd not fuck me if I wasn't wearing matching underwear to a meet.

Turns out he was absolutely right !!

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By *yneMan
over a year ago

North Shields

Kink shaming

In that case we are all up the creek if our kinks can be shamed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Haha that’s quite demanding

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a Domme woman I get lots of "subs" offering to do things for me as long as they get to worship my feet as a reward. I hate people touching my feet almost as I hate people topping from the bottom.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You’ll be glad to know the couple have messaged me calling me a C@nt for not buying them a car..

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By *yneMan
over a year ago

North Shields

Yeah that’s you told Sprockett

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Meet now

(Address 30 miles away)

Names a half an hour window

- I delete

Wtf you (abusive terms) how dare you?!

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West

"Yeah that’s you told Sprockett

Devastated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A polite reply.. men are so demanding god.

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By *yneMan
over a year ago

North Shields

I bet

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By *yneMan
over a year ago

North Shields

In the words of David Niven…”a gentleman should always be a gentleman….”

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By *oneytMan
over a year ago

Guildford

What car did they want

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

If I'm not going to meet him now (after sending me 2 messages) why am I on here?

I usually just demand a 6in Subway

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By *yneMan
over a year ago

North Shields

Chicken Teryaki…..good call

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Seems more reasonable than a new car

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We didn’t go into details as I just declined from the off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you do it?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"If I'm not going to meet him now (after sending me 2 messages) why am I on here?

I usually just demand a 6in Subway

"If you won't meet me why are you here" is one I've received a lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not really sure guys get any demand but one of the ladies I've spoken to said she got offered 500 quid to $hit on someone. How delightful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not really sure guys get any demand but one of the ladies I've spoken to said she got offered 500 quid to $hit on someone. How delightful "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve never received demands.

Come on ladies, I’m getting FOMO now.

Done

And an outrageous one it is too. Not even a hit that I’d get my wang wet either, if I were to comply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I'm not going to meet him now (after sending me 2 messages) why am I on here?

I usually just demand a 6in Subway

You know you'll be disappointed when its not as ordered right?

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By *ormalcouple1974Couple
over a year ago

plymouth

To impregnate my wife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve never received demands.

Come on ladies, I’m getting FOMO now.

Done

And an outrageous one it is too. Not even a hit that I’d get my wang wet either, if I were to comply.

There would be no Wang getting wet. Tut, what do you think this is a hook up site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cut off his manhood; fuck his

; have a foursome in a caravan in Cleethorpes (hadn't met the bloke at this point); marry him; take a fist up my ass.

Fab is pure poetry.

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

I still can’t beleive he didn’t get them a car

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cut off his manhood; fuck his

; have a foursome in a caravan in Cleethorpes (hadn't met the bloke at this point); marry him; take a fist up my ass.

Fab is pure poetry. "

Cleethorpes? Seriously thats just going too far

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok you trump me with those demands

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m a tight bastard what can I say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cut off his manhood; fuck his

; have a foursome in a caravan in Cleethorpes (hadn't met the bloke at this point); marry him; take a fist up my ass.

Fab is pure poetry.

Cleethorpes? Seriously thats just going too far"

Tell me about it! Who does he think I am?!

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

Had an offer of breeding with me.... good luck with that I've had a hysterectomy.

Almost forgot i had one bloke say he wanted to r@pe me bareback, probably make me cry, message if interested. More worryingly he was verified

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Visiting Scotland

My favourite recent one is the guy who replied to the meet I posted for a gangbang, condoms only, and with my other half present at our place, with a demand to meet him and his two mates for a bareback meet at his place without my other half or anyone else that I have met/knew.

I was called a fat time waster for declining.

My all time favourite was the guy who messaged wanting a hotel meet. First message was basically “meet me in x hotel at y time”. I had a meet up for a social in a near, but different city at the time. When I said no he said I should have the manners to pay half the hotel as he’d booked it on the basis of my meet post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got asked to meet a pensioner in town. If I gave him my knickers I'd been wearing, he'd pay for my shopping....

Eeeeewwwwwww......

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I had a couple inviting me last week to a hotel meet, with two other bi guys.

Not sure how that was going to work as I’m straight. Lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/07/22 22:42:40]

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By *exypetWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

Stand on the edge of a slurry pit holding a bag over his cash…Push him in and watch him sink, whilst playing with myself…Then go shopping and spend all the cash

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Today I had! How would I feel if he paid me if I could throw him in a bin? My reply was recycle or general waste.

His reply was general waste!

Finished it with me saying sorry I don’t have a waste carriers license. Don’t want a hefty fine ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody demands anything of me they ask and hope i say yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody demands anything of me they ask and hope i say yes"

That's cos you're a manly man innit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stand on the edge of a slurry pit holding a bag over his cash…Push him in and watch him sink, whilst playing with myself…Then go shopping and spend all the cash

Ooh what did you buy?

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"I still can’t beleive he didn’t get them a car"

His sort give single guys a bad name,!

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West

"Stand on the edge of a slurry pit holding a bag over his cash…Push him in and watch him sink, whilst playing with myself…Then go shopping and spend all the cash

You too ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody demands anything of me they ask and hope i say yes

That's cos you're a manly man innit

"
nope its cos if they do il fist there anus 6 times slowly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stand on the edge of a slurry pit holding a bag over his cash…Push him in and watch him sink, whilst playing with myself…Then go shopping and spend all the cash

"
the return of the legend that is slurry guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody demands anything of me they ask and hope i say yes

That's cos you're a manly man innit

nope its cos if they do il fist there anus 6 times slowly"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stand on the edge of a slurry pit holding a bag over his cash…Push him in and watch him sink, whilst playing with myself…Then go shopping and spend all the cash

the return of the legend that is slurry guy

So British

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"What’s the funniest thing someone has demanded from you on here?

As a sub guy I get a lot of demands for hundreds of pounds to meet (clear warning sign they aren’t serious) but today took the biscuit…

After a few messages a couple demanded I buy them a brand new car and when I laughed and said no they blocked me

Were they seriously expecting me to say yeh sure I’ll drop 50k on a car for someone I’ve spoke to for 5 minutes.. "

Did they want a tow bar on it? Asking for a friend

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By *yneMan
over a year ago

North Shields

So what did you buy?

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Ok i can now revise my previous answer lol

Does a marriage proposal count

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

"Got asked to meet a pensioner in town. If I gave him my knickers I'd been wearing, he'd pay for my shopping....

Eeeeewwwwwww......

Now , if you'd gone shopping for a new car.....

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By *exypetWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

"Stand on the edge of a slurry pit holding a bag over his cash…Push him in and watch him sink, whilst playing with myself…Then go shopping and spend all the cash

the return of the legend that is slurry guy

So British

Isn’t it just

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/07/22 00:04:10]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok i can now revise my previous answer lol

Does a marriage proposal count

Not anymore, I take it back

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By *appytaffWoman
over a year ago

blackwood

I’ve been asked by men if I will accept payment for sex

I like one of the others ,was asked if they could bareback r@pe me basically - that scared me a bit

I’ve also had the demands like meet now etc and then get a use when you say no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Often new profiles of just a few days or weeks message saying they'd like to meet up that night.

Probably computer generated?!

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By *ittlemiss1985Woman
over a year ago

Lansing

Had a guy on here yet to hook me up with his bi sister, though I never mentioned I was interested in women.

Had another guy offer to get me pregnant because he had a pregnancy kink and offered to pay for an abortion when he was done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had a guy on here yet to hook me up with his bi sister, though I never mentioned I was interested in women.

Had another guy offer to get me pregnant because he had a pregnancy kink and offered to pay for an abortion when he was done."

Wow! I've had the can I get you pregnant messages but never I will pay for abortion! That is actually horrific and I'm not about kink shaming but surely That is something you would only ever broach with someone you knew very well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Often new profiles of just a few days or weeks message saying they'd like to meet up that night.

Probably computer generated?! "

No not computer generated as that very rarely happens on this site and when it does it's dealt with very quickly. I have had hundreds of meet now messages over the years from profiles that have been here for a matter of weeks and years and everything in between.

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

I was asked to send a pair of dirty boxers for £20. Considering my boxers are brought from primark at 7.50 a pack, I may have stumble on a market here lol

I have been asked some weird questions though.. some funny, some are absolutely bonkers

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.

Not an unusual request, but we had this:

Hi kitty,

Any chance I could wank over your boobs.

Many regards

-name redacted-

Which was a refreshing change in tone!

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

A lady asked me to beat her until she blacked out. Needless to say, I refused, but was then told I was being unreasonable. When I said it just wasn't my thing, and I found it repugnant, I was told I was a c**t, and that I should be there for her pleasures

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

They want me to pretend I'm their mother if I fuck them...grim

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"They want me to pretend I'm their mother if I fuck them...grim

Yep, that's pretty grim

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By *i_Blonde_BabeWoman
over a year ago

cardiff or just passing through

I got asked to partake in a full contact, no holds barred, girl fight for the pleasure of a group of men. Played along and asked whether kidney punches and eye gouging was allowed as I was looking forward to dusting off my old unitard from “my days on the circuit” and resurrecting the career of “the kneetrembler”

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By *azzler000Man
over a year ago

hull

Most women on here ask for 12” lol

"If I'm not going to meet him now (after sending me 2 messages) why am I on here?

I usually just demand a 6in Subway

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By *i de BiCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

[Removed by poster at 22/07/22 07:24:45]

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By *i de BiCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Nothing extreme but always remember this

"Do you have a garage to store my bike , as I forgot my lock !"

We actually dropped this lad off and his bike. Was late at night after a long session

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had a guy on here yet to hook me up with his bi sister, though I never mentioned I was interested in women.

Had another guy offer to get me pregnant because he had a pregnancy kink and offered to pay for an abortion when he was done."

That's horrifying.

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By *renchy19Man
over a year ago

Heathrow

[Removed by poster at 22/07/22 07:50:09]

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By *renchy19Man
over a year ago

Heathrow

"Got asked to meet a pensioner in town. If I gave him my knickers I'd been wearing, he'd pay for my shopping....

Eeeeewwwwwww......

He could have my pants and pay for a very big shop in Waitrose!!

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By *ittlemiss1985Woman
over a year ago

Lansing

"Had a guy on here yet to hook me up with his bi sister, though I never mentioned I was interested in women.

Had another guy offer to get me pregnant because he had a pregnancy kink and offered to pay for an abortion when he was done.

I went no contact with the guy after that. I'm all for pro-choice but getting pregnant and then having an abortion just so a guy can get his rocks off is a huge red flag for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had a guy on here yet to hook me up with his bi sister, though I never mentioned I was interested in women.

Had another guy offer to get me pregnant because he had a pregnancy kink and offered to pay for an abortion when he was done.

I went no contact with the guy after that. I'm all for pro-choice but getting pregnant and then having an abortion just so a guy can get his rocks off is a huge red flag for me."

Hope Gretchen is keeping it legal.

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By *ylvieMWoman
over a year ago

Aylesbury

Offers of payment mostly

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By *ittlemiss1985Woman
over a year ago

Lansing

"Had a guy on here yet to hook me up with his bi sister, though I never mentioned I was interested in women.

Had another guy offer to get me pregnant because he had a pregnancy kink and offered to pay for an abortion when he was done.

I went no contact with the guy after that. I'm all for pro-choice but getting pregnant and then having an abortion just so a guy can get his rocks off is a huge red flag for me.

Hope Gretchen is keeping it legal.

Me too. We technically have a law banning abortion from 1931 but it's up in the air at the moment because they're putting it on the ballot for this year's elections.

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

I'd a Couple who whilst en-route to them, phoned me to ask if I'd pick up a few items at a Tesco's I'd pass near to their home? (Saved them going out, they said).

They emailed me their list to my phone, about £90 worth, then added I wouldn't be reimbursed the cost.

If I wanted to meet them, I'd to pay their shopping! I turned around and went home!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd a Couple who whilst en-route to them, phoned me to ask if I'd pick up a few items at a Tesco's I'd pass near to their home? (Saved them going out, they said).

They emailed me their list to my phone, about £90 worth, then added I wouldn't be reimbursed the cost.

If I wanted to meet them, I'd to pay their shopping! I turned around and went home!"

I've heard men say very similar before. One guy I met from fab said that when he was on his way to a couples house they phound him and told him to pick up champagne and a couple of packs of fags and a few other items that I can't remember.

They then told him he couldn't drink any of the champagne as they don't meet people who have been drinking even though they would be drinking themselves. He said to them that they had on their profile they didn't smoke and he didn't meet smokers so wouldn't be buying them cigarettes. They got abusive with him and told him to do as he was told or there would be no meet. I think this is terrible and I've heard other similar stories although this one really sticks in my mind.

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By *undance_KidMan
over a year ago

London

Had a guy ask if he could post a sock to me, then for me to wank in it, cum in it, film this ...send the vid and post the sock back too. He would pay me to this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had a guy ask if he could post a sock to me, then for me to wank in it, cum in it, film this ...send the vid and post the sock back too. He would pay me to this.

How much did he pay?

I've not had anything weird yet just one old guy asking to pay me to fuck him.

Oh and the one guy who asked if I would step on him if he was on the floor at a beach bar.

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By *undance_KidMan
over a year ago

London

He suggested a tenner a sock but was open to negotiation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He suggested a tenner a sock but was open to negotiation.

Bump it up to £30 and I would have done it for sure lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She said “go away Woody!”

yeh right, like that’s going to happen.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Turn up on time AND have a shower first... Pfft.

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

One or two of us order guys can remember when cowboys boots were in fashion for manly footwear. A police sergeants wife had a fixation for Midnight Cowboy, and asked me if I would have sex with her wearing a Stetson hat and my cowboy boots. No so easy to stop the stetson from keeping sliding over the end of your nose when you are in full motion in the front of a Triumph 2000 with the seats reclined, but she got what she wanted.

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By *undance_KidMan
over a year ago

London

"He suggested a tenner a sock but was open to negotiation.

Bump it up to £30 and I would have done it for sure lol"

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He suggested a tenner a sock but was open to negotiation.

Ill counter offer €20 but want the sock hand delivered back

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By *undance_KidMan
over a year ago

London

Address please ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Address please ?

How soon can you be here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got blocked for not wanting a threesome with a couple when the woman was ‘ smacked off her tits ‘

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Got blocked for not wanting a threesome with a couple when the woman was ‘ smacked off her tits ‘ "

I suppose that may be a barrier to a good experience

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By *ew2thiskinkCouple
over a year ago

Waterford

"I got asked to partake in a full contact, no holds barred, girl fight for the pleasure of a group of men. Played along and asked whether kidney punches and eye gouging was allowed as I was looking forward to dusting off my old unitard from “my days on the circuit” and resurrecting the career of “the kneetrembler”

We got this too. Crazy guy said he wants to see my wife beat up his girl !!!!

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By *ld StrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Telford

Random guy sent first message opener telling me to get on my knees and eat his arse out.

When I replied that wasn’t going to happen and that maybe he needed to work on his I introduction he responded with something on the lines of I’d be to difficult and the type of person to call R@pe after ffs

Totally blocked him

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Random guy sent first message opener telling me to get on my knees and eat his arse out.

Totally blocked him "

I can feel the script of an Svu episode taking shape.

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By *oftyandhisloverCouple
over a year ago

surrey

"Cut off his manhood; fuck his

; have a foursome in a caravan in Cleethorpes (hadn't met the bloke at this point); marry him; take a fist up my ass.

Fab is pure poetry. "

I hear you!

Sell my used underwear, wrap someone from head to toe in clingfilm, watch someone give themselves a blowjob (no one likes a bragger lol), to be covered in chocolate sauce and licked clean…

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By *hilledGuyClactonMan
over a year ago

Little clacton

Usually tonight get the usual message,bring druuugs can do what you want to me ??

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Besides meet now I feel left out judging by others commented mind you these were all from guys whom ignored my preference....

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By *ld StrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Telford

Random guy sent first message opener telling me to get on my knees and eat his arse out.

Totally blocked him

I can feel the script of an Svu episode taking shape. "

I genuinely have no idea of what svu is lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had a few who have asked to ‘breed with me’

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By *raveller_87Man
over a year ago

Rossendale

Walk on a guys back wearing football boots!

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By *cruffymooWoman
over a year ago

Skelmersdale

Not a demand but was asked by guy if I would have sex with his 19 year old son....never replied to him.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Random guy sent first message opener telling me to get on my knees and eat his arse out.

Totally blocked him

I can feel the script of an Svu episode taking shape.

I genuinely have no idea of what svu is lol"

Probably 'Special Victims Unit'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was once told i has 14 days to transfer my life savings to him, sell my house and move Tenerife, where i would buy a flat and put it in his name.

I would then cut contact with my family,and only wear what he dictated (white spaghetti strap vest +black jodhpur leggings, no underwear for those interested lol)... and i would meet 3-4 men /women a week

oh but i could choose them if i wanted

It was very difficult to break away, but I'm relieved i did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have an idea for a new 'thing' see what random tatt people can bring me....Ooh the possibilities

Would be ike a shit game of bingo....Cross them off as they come

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was once told i has 14 days to transfer my life savings to him, sell my house and move Tenerife, where i would buy a flat and put it in his name.

oh but i could choose them if i wanted

It was very difficult to break away, but I'm relieved i did"

Must have been a tough decision

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have an idea for a new 'thing' see what random tatt people can bring me....Ooh the possibilities

Would be ike a shit game of bingo....Cross them off as they come

You must bring me a signed Timmy mallet photo in order to meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You’ll be glad to know the couple have messaged me calling me a C@nt for not buying them a car.. "

So you don't want to buy a new car how about a slightly used one

Asking for a friend

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