FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Why oh why oh why...

Jump to newest
 

By *lderflower_Apple OP   Woman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

do I get so irritated when I receive a message that contains the question, you're gorgeous why are you single?

Is it because the sender has made such a broad assumption about my relationship status being important or relevant to why I'm here?

Is it because it's just perpetuating that sexist view that women can't have or don't want independence, so therefore must be in a relationship to have any chance of being remotely content with their life?

Or is it because I'm a grumpy git and I need to get over myself?

Sorry... needed to rant today, after the third message asking me this in the past day.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve no idea why they’d ask it.

Can I see your norks?

*runs and hides, giggling*

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"do I get so irritated when I receive a message that contains the question, you're gorgeous why are you single?

Is it because the sender has made such a broad assumption about my relationship status being important or relevant to why I'm here?

Is it because it's just perpetuating that sexist view that women can't have or don't want independence, so therefore must be in a relationship to have any chance of being remotely content with their life?

Or is it because I'm a grumpy git and I need to get over myself?

Sorry... needed to rant today, after the third message asking me this in the past day."

Grumpus bumpus just take it as a compliment, not like you have to reply is it! :

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can’t say your relationship status was the first thing I wondered about when I saw your photos

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Tiring isn't it?

I think they see it as a compliment.

I always say I haven't met anyone that meets my expectations/requirements/who fulfills my needs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry op it was the title ha ha

Oh tell me why

Do we build castles in the sky?

Oh tell me why

Are the castles way up high.

Please tell me why

Do we build castles in the sky?

Oh tell me why

Are the castles way up high.

Do you ever question your life?

Do you ever wonder why?

Do you ever see in your dreams

All the castles in the sky?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry op it was the title ha ha

Oh tell me why

Do we build castles in the sky?

Oh tell me why

Are the castles way up high.

Please tell me why

Do we build castles in the sky?

Oh tell me why

Are the castles way up high.

Do you ever question your life?

Do you ever wonder why?

Do you ever see in your dreams

All the castles in the sky?

"

Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuune!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I reel off a whole list of reasons including my laziness; my untidy house because I'm a slut; my hemorrhoids; my devotion to my family; my lack of money; my fat body etc etc.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

It's meant as a compliment, you know the "any man would be glad to have you" type of compliment. The misogyny in it is shocking for so many reasons

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry op it was the title ha ha

Oh tell me why

Do we build castles in the sky?

Oh tell me why

Are the castles way up high.

Please tell me why

Do we build castles in the sky?

Oh tell me why

Are the castles way up high.

Do you ever question your life?

Do you ever wonder why?

Do you ever see in your dreams

All the castles in the sky?

Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuune! "

Yes it is a all time classic it was the first thing I thought off when I seen the title in the lounge ha ha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

Make up wild lies about why and watch their comeback. I've taken to being arsey with blokes who disrespect us just to make myself laugh.

C

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oungcouple1993xCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

Tell them you prefer the sausage to the whole pig

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth


"Tell them you prefer the sausage to the whole pig "

Pah ha ha ha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And to be fair, your face isn't even on show in your profile so rant away! If your face was on show it would be understandable but they have no idea what you really look like, a great body doesn't mean you're gorgeous...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oungcouple1993xCouple
over a year ago

Dublin


"And to be fair, your face isn't even on show in your profile so rant away! If your face was on show it would be understandable but they have no idea what you really look like, a great body doesn't mean you're gorgeous..."

Did you even look at her profile?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And to be fair, your face isn't even on show in your profile so rant away! If your face was on show it would be understandable but they have no idea what you really look like, a great body doesn't mean you're gorgeous...

Did you even look at her profile? "

Oops...must of missed the second pic...sorry! Was more focused on the last one

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

To be fair when I was single and back out there again I've been asked that question a few times by women. Which I took as a compliment. But I get things are different in a woman's shoes and understandable you may feel differently about it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Tad grumpy git. :DYou're right to some extent though.

I think it's an (intended to be) harmless compliment. But yes, there are some ideas that if a person is single and attractive (or even not) then they must be unhappy/wanting to be with someone. That's not quite true nor how it works. We place value on relationships and think that others must share them too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deffo grumpy git (speaking from experience)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I don't like hi or hello. Single word messages show a lack of effort and I ignore,

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lderflower_Apple OP   Woman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I’ve no idea why they’d ask it.

Can I see your norks?

*runs and hides, giggling*"

Now that's the kind of question I can get on board with!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lderflower_Apple OP   Woman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"

Grumpus bumpus just take it as a compliment, not like you have to reply is it! :"

Yeah, I get that it's meant as a compliment, and actually I guess it's a pretty good filter of who not to reply to

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lderflower_Apple OP   Woman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Can’t say your relationship status was the first thing I wondered about when I saw your photos "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get that when some people have ask how I've not had more meets from here. It's not for lack of fucking trying!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lderflower_Apple OP   Woman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Tiring isn't it?

I think they see it as a compliment.

I always say I haven't met anyone that meets my expectations/requirements/who fulfills my needs "

Very tiring!

I really don't want to reply though as that opens up the lines of communications!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entlemanFoxMan
over a year ago

North East / London


"do I get so irritated when I receive a message that contains the question, you're gorgeous why are you single?

Is it because the sender has made such a broad assumption about my relationship status being important or relevant to why I'm here?

Is it because it's just perpetuating that sexist view that women can't have or don't want independence, so therefore must be in a relationship to have any chance of being remotely content with their life?

Or is it because I'm a grumpy git and I need to get over myself?

Sorry... needed to rant today, after the third message asking me this in the past day."

OP, every day is a school day. I would not have thought that this question would cause irritation.

If I had written it, it would be meant as a compliment, but also to gauge how much free time you have as a potential play partner. Many single women profiles are actually in relationships of one type or another. This question compliments while cutting to the chase, if that makes sense?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lderflower_Apple OP   Woman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Sorry op it was the title ha ha

Oh tell me why

Do we build castles in the sky?

Oh tell me why

Are the castles way up high.

Please tell me why

Do we build castles in the sky?

Oh tell me why

Are the castles way up high.

Do you ever question your life?

Do you ever wonder why?

Do you ever see in your dreams

All the castles in the sky?

Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuune!

Yes it is a all time classic it was the first thing I thought off when I seen the title in the lounge ha ha "

Forgive me both of you, but I can't place these lyrics

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lderflower_Apple OP   Woman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Make up wild lies about why and watch their comeback. I've taken to being arsey with blokes who disrespect us just to make myself laugh.

C"

It's so tempting sometimes. But I just can't be bothered when I know I have intention of pursuing the interaction

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lderflower_Apple OP   Woman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I reel off a whole list of reasons including my laziness; my untidy house because I'm a slut; my hemorrhoids; my devotion to my family; my lack of money; my fat body etc etc."

And maybe you're a bit of a fibber in some respects??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lderflower_Apple OP   Woman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Tell them you prefer the sausage to the whole pig "

This wins the internet today!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lderflower_Apple OP   Woman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"And to be fair, your face isn't even on show in your profile so rant away! If your face was on show it would be understandable but they have no idea what you really look like, a great body doesn't mean you're gorgeous...

Did you even look at her profile?

Oops...must of missed the second pic...sorry! Was more focused on the last one "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lderflower_Apple OP   Woman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I don't like hi or hello. Single word messages show a lack of effort and I ignore,"

I absolutely agree! It's like walking a tightrope isn't it, trying to craft an effective message

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Just a chat up line really is what I take it as x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lderflower_Apple OP   Woman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"

OP, every day is a school day. I would not have thought that this question would cause irritation.

If I had written it, it would be meant as a compliment, but also to gauge how much free time you have as a potential play partner. Many single women profiles are actually in relationships of one type or another. This question compliments while cutting to the chase, if that makes sense?"

That does make sense, and it's great to get some perspective from the other side. Thank you. Subconscious bias at work here maybe? (On my side)

I've always considered myself to be fairly tolerant and quite patient, but these messages all close together have triggered something today

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean, I wouldn't dream of doing that.

As I can't, because of your filters.

That's on you

Honestly though, I mean, this place will drive you mad if you let every engorged one handed Oscar Wilde wannabe get to you, so just, give in to the absurdity, troll them back, amuse yourself.

Or delete, block and roll through the day to some appropriate spotify playlist.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entlemanFoxMan
over a year ago

North East / London


"

I've always considered myself to be fairly tolerant and quite patient"

...with a lovely smile and there is something decidedly sultry about your 15 February

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lderflower_Apple OP   Woman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"

I've always considered myself to be fairly tolerant and quite patient

...with a lovely smile and there is something decidedly sultry about your 15 February "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lderflower_Apple OP   Woman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I mean, I wouldn't dream of doing that.

As I can't, because of your filters.

That's on you

Honestly though, I mean, this place will drive you mad if you let every engorged one handed Oscar Wilde wannabe get to you, so just, give in to the absurdity, troll them back, amuse yourself.

Or delete, block and roll through the day to some appropriate spotify playlist."

D'oh!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"I reel off a whole list of reasons including my laziness; my untidy house because I'm a slut; my hemorrhoids; my devotion to my family; my lack of money; my fat body etc etc."

Pwoarr . God job I know you're not any of that x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

Haven’t read the OP or any replies so I have no idea why.

What I do know is the OP has a great smile

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They definitely see it as a compliment but yeah, it’s annoying as fuck. I don’t even respond to it any more.

Or they say “there’s no way you’re single, you’ve definitely got a fella” like it’s unimaginable that I would actually choose to be single and enjoy the freedom that comes with it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West


"They definitely see it as a compliment but yeah, it’s annoying as fuck. I don’t even respond to it any more.

Or they say “there’s no way you’re single, you’ve definitely got a fella” like it’s unimaginable that I would actually choose to be single and enjoy the freedom that comes with it. "

This

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

Tell them you were once bitten by a radioactive praying mantis and ever since then your new partners don’t seem to ever be around for long

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"do I get so irritated when I receive a message that contains the question, you're gorgeous why are you single?

Is it because the sender has made such a broad assumption about my relationship status being important or relevant to why I'm here?

Is it because it's just perpetuating that sexist view that women can't have or don't want independence, so therefore must be in a relationship to have any chance of being remotely content with their life?

Or is it because I'm a grumpy git and I need to get over myself?

Sorry... needed to rant today, after the third message asking me this in the past day."

I don't know you but I would say grumpy git and need to get over yourself

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

It's a hackneyed remark. I don't really see it as a compliment. It's on equal standing as "oh my God, where have you been all my life?!".

It's an unimaginative punt, which rarely pays off.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess asking that, they feel they're offering a compliment.

It isn't a gender thing, whenever I was single, I was asked it many times.

I see it as a banal conversation starter, almost like talking about the weather, or asking a taxi driver have they been busy etc etc

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry op it was the title ha ha

Oh tell me why

Do we build castles in the sky?

Oh tell me why

Are the castles way up high.

Please tell me why

Do we build castles in the sky?

Oh tell me why

Are the castles way up high.

Do you ever question your life?

Do you ever wonder why?

Do you ever see in your dreams

All the castles in the sky?

Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuune!

Yes it is a all time classic it was the first thing I thought off when I seen the title in the lounge ha ha

Forgive me both of you, but I can't place these lyrics "

Sorry for the late response op

The song is Ian van Dahl Castles in the sky

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JjTV8i_KjXM

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally understand this as I used to get messages like that. I've also seen comments on threads that say similar. The person sending it thinks it's a compliment but it really isn't.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"do I get so irritated when I receive a message that contains the question, you're gorgeous why are you single?

"

Yes it’s because you are grumpy

I never get that question.. maybe that’s because they think I’m too good for everyone and out of everyone’s league.

#think positive op, they tried a compliment, and obviously failed completely.

I do often wonder why very attractive women are not with a partner, but then I’m scared to ask and find out they are psychotic

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

I get it all the time as well. Suppose they trying to give you a back handed compliment. I bet they think deep down, there must be something wrong with her! Lol nope, just too many unsuitable men in this world. Where are the gentlemen? Definitely haven't found him yet online.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wrong side of the bed i think

No harm no foul we all have bad days where we get oversensitive

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I do often wonder why very attractive women are not with a partner, but then I’m scared to ask and find out they are psychotic "

This is exactly my point. Why wouldn’t they be? Why is it strange to think that they have chosen a single lifestyle? Do you wonder the same about women that you deem unattractive or is it assumed and accepted that they’d be single?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I do often wonder why very attractive women are not with a partner, but then I’m scared to ask and find out they are psychotic

This is exactly my point. Why wouldn’t they be? Why is it strange to think that they have chosen a single lifestyle? Do you wonder the same about women that you deem unattractive or is it assumed and accepted that they’d be single? "

So my attractive and someone else’s attractive will always be different. I could be talking about someone that they think are unattractive. We both understand that.

So, it’s just my ‘oh my god, I want that woman holding my hand, ehy isn’t everine falling over themselves making that woman theirs!’ mindset.

Yes sure, if I spoke to them and see how independent that are, I then understand it’s about them and not that others are trying their hardest.

Does that explain it? (Probably not)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"do I get so irritated when I receive a message that contains the question, you're gorgeous why are you single?

Is it because the sender has made such a broad assumption about my relationship status being important or relevant to why I'm here?

Is it because it's just perpetuating that sexist view that women can't have or don't want independence, so therefore must be in a relationship to have any chance of being remotely content with their life?

Or is it because I'm a grumpy git and I need to get over myself?

Sorry... needed to rant today, after the third message asking me this in the past day."

It's because it's a shit question and implies only beautiful people are worthy of being in relationships. If you're ugly it's ok that you're single.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My typo g is shocking I know. Sorry.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village


"do I get so irritated when I receive a message that contains the question, you're gorgeous why are you single?

Is it because the sender has made such a broad assumption about my relationship status being important or relevant to why I'm here?

Is it because it's just perpetuating that sexist view that women can't have or don't want independence, so therefore must be in a relationship to have any chance of being remotely content with their life?

Or is it because I'm a grumpy git and I need to get over myself?

Sorry... needed to rant today, after the third message asking me this in the past day."

Just tell em you're a serial killer and haven't found anyone worth sparing yet.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

OP, I've no idea why someone would ask such an irrelevant question but I can understand why it would irrate you.

My advice, delete the message and focus on the people you do get on with and want to know more about.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top