FabSwingers.com forum: The last letter...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

...From a husband to his wife:

Dear Wife,

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching TV. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

-Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to Thailand together. We will have a great life!

The wife's reply:

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating chicken 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the £200 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed that same amount from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the LOTTERY AND WON £10 million, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Las Vegas. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a single penny from me.

-Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Sandy was actually born as my brother John. I helped pay for his sex change. I hope that's not a problem.