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I have been pissed, but never this pissed. How fucking stupid can you possibly be?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A d*unk man who climbed into a crocodile enclosure in Australia and attempted to ride a 5m (16ft) long crocodile has survived his encounter.

The crocodile, called Fatso, bit the 36-year-old man's leg, tearing chunks of flesh from him as he straddled the reptile.

He received surgery to serious wounds to his leg and is recovering in hospital, police say.

He had been chucked out of a pub in the town of Broome for being too d*unk.

The man, Michael Newman, climbed over a fence and tried to sit on the 800kg (1,800lb) saltwater crocodile.

If it had been warmer and Fatso was more alert, we would have been dealing with a fatality”

"Fatso has taken offence to this and has spun around and bit this man on the right leg," Sgt Roger Haynes of Broome police told journalists.

"The crocodile has let him go and he's been able to scale the fence again and leave the wildlife park."

Malcolm Douglas, the park's owner, said that the crocodile was capable of crushing a man to death with a single bite.

"The man who climbed the fence was fortunate because Fatso was a bit more sluggish than normal, due to the cooler nights we have been experiencing in Broome," said Mr Douglas.

"If it had been warmer and Fatso was more alert, we would have been dealing with a fatality."

"No person in their right mind would try to sit on a 5m crocodile, Saltwater crocodiles, once they get hold of you, are not renowned for letting you go."

The man staggered back to the pub bleeding heavily.

Pub manager Mark Phillips said staff told him that the man reappeared at about 11pm with bits of bark hanging off him and flesh gouged out of his limbs.

"They said he had chunks out of his legs and things like that," Mr Phillips told The West Australian news website.

An average of two people are killed each year in Australia by aggressive saltwater crocodiles, which can grow up to 7m (23 ft) long and weigh more than a tonne.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They live amongst us, as the saying goes.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

just a fucking idiot...

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Well he won't run out of stories for the grandchildren now!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

bet he will try and sue for compo

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

from a gene pool not deep enough to wet ones lips...

have had reason to come across similar 'they who have the IQ of a chair leg' do live amongst us..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spooky!! I posted some really useful advice about crocs this morning, Here it is again for those of you who missed it first time and wish to avoid bother;

These tips are from a well respected expert on the Crocodylidae family.

1. Never smile at a crocodile.

2. You can't get friendly with a crocodile.

3.Never dip your hat and stop to talk awhile.

4. Never run, walk away, say good-night, not good-day.

5. Don't be taken in by his welcome grin.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"bet he will try and sue for compo "

if he does just tip him back in..

not going to run far..

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

my grandfather used to tell the tale that when he was in the navy in the first world war two shipmates got roaring drun and one dared the other to chop his leg off....he did

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

d*unk...roaring d*unk

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"d*unk...roaring d*unk "

as in legless..?

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester


"Spooky!! I posted some really useful advice about crocs this morning, Here it is again for those of you who missed it first time and wish to avoid bother;

These tips are from a well respected expert on the Crocodylidae family.

1. Never smile at a crocodile.

2. You can't get friendly with a crocodile.

3.Never dip your hat and stop to talk awhile.

4. Never run, walk away, say good-night, not good-day.

5. Don't be taken in by his welcome grin.

"

Don't forget to hide your clocks too! Tick tok, tick tok....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"d*unk...roaring d*unk

as in legless..?"

*she's here all week folks*

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"d*unk...roaring d*unk

as in legless..?

*she's here all week folks*"

and is a he..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"d*unk...roaring d*unk

as in legless..?

*she's here all week folks*

and is a he.."

'he's here all week folks'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Steve Irwin wannabe.

CRIKEY!

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

Another Darwin Award nominee perhaps??

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Natural selection - and we strive to save these idiots lives! Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id say he got away with it.

most crocs would have not let go.

what was he thinking?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Steve Irwin wannabe."

Dead?

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton


"id say he got away with it.

most crocs would have not let go.

what was he thinking?"

nothing? Z

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

My grandmother used to have a budgie that got aggressive after a few sips of whiskey . Latched onto my nose/ear/finger on more than one occasion, pesky dinosaur

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dunno...sounds like he was trying to shag it more like...maybe thats why he survived...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Another Darwin Award nominee perhaps?? "

No, they don't qualify as they have to remove themselves from the gene pool (ie die) for that.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Could be an 'Honourable Mention' perhaps

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