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I’m in a funk

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By *inkylips OP   Woman
over a year ago

Debauchery

I need help getting out this funk I’m in, can’t seem to shift it, I’ve started exercising and doing yoga to make me feel more positive about my weight (as I’m the heaviest I’ve been in a while), going for walks to get out but it’s just not enough. I’ve had a lot of time wasters and liars on here lately which isn’t helping and I’m missing being out and social but can’t do that alone.

Any suggestions are welcome…. I’m annoying myself now with this mood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Staying busy doing more fun things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Taking a glance at your photos, so you look in great shape already.

Walking somewhere you enjoy with or without headphones helps to clear the mind. Or a bike ride if you have one.

I've had that black dog bite my arse many times, but have learnt to kick it back.

We all put on timber now and then so don't worry xx

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By *urious-Switch81Man
over a year ago

Heanor


"I need help getting out this funk I’m in, can’t seem to shift it, I’ve started exercising and doing yoga to make me feel more positive about my weight (as I’m the heaviest I’ve been in a while), going for walks to get out but it’s just not enough. I’ve had a lot of time wasters and liars on here lately which isn’t helping and I’m missing being out and social but can’t do that alone.

Any suggestions are welcome…. I’m annoying myself now with this mood "

Just looked at your public pictures and you look amazing...

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

I’m really sad you are feeling this way. I’ve noticed you around and I think you are very bright, beautiful also interesting and intelligent.

I hold a space for you if you need it, feel free to message me directly OP if you need too.

Sending positive thoughts and virtual hugs you beautiful person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can do it alone. There's lots of groups on Facebook for people that want to meet up and go for walks. Maybe join one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need help getting out this funk I’m in, can’t seem to shift it, I’ve started exercising and doing yoga to make me feel more positive about my weight (as I’m the heaviest I’ve been in a while), going for walks to get out but it’s just not enough. I’ve had a lot of time wasters and liars on here lately which isn’t helping and I’m missing being out and social but can’t do that alone.

Any suggestions are welcome…. I’m annoying myself now with this mood "

I totally get this. Sounds like you're on the right path. Have you tried meditation? Or a chat with doctor?

The fact that you are aware of this if half the battle

Wishing you all the best

Missy x

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By *omer47Man
over a year ago

leigh


"I need help getting out this funk I’m in, can’t seem to shift it, I’ve started exercising and doing yoga to make me feel more positive about my weight (as I’m the heaviest I’ve been in a while), going for walks to get out but it’s just not enough. I’ve had a lot of time wasters and liars on here lately which isn’t helping and I’m missing being out and social but can’t do that alone.

Any suggestions are welcome…. I’m annoying myself now with this mood "

Just took a look at your profile pictures and to be honest, you look stunning. I understand that weight is a big thing for a female so just eat healthy and excersize regularly and dont snack in-between meals and you will lose weight, it take time.

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By *eamworkboyMan
over a year ago

Irvine

Hot looking lady anyone letting you down or not turning up is missing out big style

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

Well you look great to us and just horrible when the black clouds gather but getting out and about can and does help alot and just remember you aren't in the minority as a large majority suffer as well and sadly most in silence !!

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

You’re stunning - no problem evident at all! Enjoy being slim and sexy! Many of us would give anything to be slimmer - you’re perfect!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's lovely that so many are complimenting the OP but these things are relative

She's probably not seeing what we are seeing x

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"I need help getting out this funk I’m in, can’t seem to shift it, I’ve started exercising and doing yoga to make me feel more positive about my weight (as I’m the heaviest I’ve been in a while), going for walks to get out but it’s just not enough. I’ve had a lot of time wasters and liars on here lately which isn’t helping and I’m missing being out and social but can’t do that alone.

Any suggestions are welcome…. I’m annoying myself now with this mood "

I know the feeling and sympathise. I always feel a bit better for getting outdoors and a bit of activity... But if your mood is that low, maybe a visit to your gp...

I'm sure there will be lots of offers of support on here.... Its a horrible feeling and if swapping a few kind messages with someone on shared interests might put a smile on your face... Pm me or probably anyone on the thread. If not... Just be kind to yourself and the best of wishes you get your chin up soon. Go out and spot 50 red things on a walk or listen to the trees in the breeze, write a bit of poetry, take some photos... Listening to music is a great mood changer.

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By *unky_Fab_FellaMan
over a year ago

Nr Boston

Remember to be grateful for what you have and celebrate that, rather than being miserable about what you don't have

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By *olourmeplayfulWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"I need help getting out this funk I’m in, can’t seem to shift it, I’ve started exercising and doing yoga to make me feel more positive about my weight (as I’m the heaviest I’ve been in a while), going for walks to get out but it’s just not enough. I’ve had a lot of time wasters and liars on here lately which isn’t helping and I’m missing being out and social but can’t do that alone.

Any suggestions are welcome…. I’m annoying myself now with this mood "

I’m sorry to hear this OP. I too am happy to hold space for you if you need to talk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly, if you aren't happy no amount of praise will fill that internal void.

If it's weight related, track your calories with my fitness pal, introduce basic resistance training along with low intensity cardio to burn fat and retain muscle mass.

Work out your daily energy expenditure, adjust the diet to suit. Track your food mercilessly, if you happen to have no results after a week or two, reduce the calories by 100-200 and increase the duration of the work outs a bit.

It's a journey, it sucks at first, and can be very demoralising. Then, weeks later, you look in the mirror and think "when did this happen?" and it all slots into place, the rewards are visible motivation is more tangible.

As for less than ideal meets, well, be more ruthlessly selective and trust the little voices that might suggest its no beuno.

You'll get there, I was there not long ago too. If my cake loving carbohydrate stalking fat ass can do it, you can too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey OP, totally understand where you're coming from. I've just come back off a break from Fab for the same reason. I was living day to day but something didn't quite feel right.

It's taken me a while but I feel like I'm back to being somewhere near 'me'. I did the mundane day to day stuff but also focused on trying to do something for myself everyday too. Whether it was walking, turning my phone off and watching tele, I went to the cinema on my own and even out for meals on my own.

I know not all of those are easy to do (I had my tribulations with anxiety too so walks & tv were my saviours at the beginning and the rest came after) but it helped me reconnect with myself and get back in tune with 'me'.

It feels shitty but it does work out in the end. You sound like you have the right outlook and you're doing the right things for you so carry on. It's not always the quickest process and can feel like trudging through mud some days but if you ever need to talk (either about it or to be distracted) then my door (like many others on here) is always open.

Good luck with your journey, I wish you well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey OP, first off there's a big hug for you if you want it.

Exercise and walking are great steps but I think it's important not to see them as miracle workers, they take time to affect your mood and need to be allowed to do so. By this I mean that if you go for a walk (for example) thinking to yourself "this will make me feel better" you make the activity responsible for your mood which can make you come to dislike the activity (it's not doing what it is supposed to) and feel worse because something that 'should' work isn't.

I'm not saying you're doing this BTW it's just a possibility I read from your OP. Exercise and activity definitely helped me through depression but it took a long time. Initially there was nothing but that quickly changed to intermittent relief while exercising but going from that to feeling good for long periods in between runs/walks was a long time coming and almost certainly relied on other factors too.

You've identified not having someone to share stuff with as an issue so maybe some clubs? Get it for walks etc with other people?

Whatever it takes I hope you feel better soon.

Mr

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By *inkylips OP   Woman
over a year ago

Debauchery

Thank you for all that’s had some lovely input. To the one person that says I should be grateful for what I have and don’t focus on the things I don’t. I am very grateful and very blessed with 4 children and a roof over my head it isn’t about that. It’s also not so much about the weight either, I thought maybe getting back on track with that would help and I hear all the time that will exercise will help with low mood.

I am in a weird place right now and a place I keep falling back into, but once again thank you all for the positivity xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ups and downs are normal, life goes that way, but there are steps we can take to minimise the sways.

You've touched upon the key things, health, relaxation, diet. How's your sleep? That always causes trouble when poor.

If you feel like the malaise is quite prolonged, perhaps speak with your Dr, they might be able to run some simple tests to identify deficiencies or low levels.

You'll get there, just for the love of God don't bin the lingerie

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By *orthmanMan
over a year ago

Kendal

Dear Kinkylips, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This beholder hotlisted you ages ago and happily enjoys your fantastic shape and your exquisite taste in lingerie x

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By *ockboy77Man
over a year ago

Angus, and Aberdeen area


"I need help getting out this funk I’m in, can’t seem to shift it, I’ve started exercising and doing yoga to make me feel more positive about my weight (as I’m the heaviest I’ve been in a while), going for walks to get out but it’s just not enough. I’ve had a lot of time wasters and liars on here lately which isn’t helping and I’m missing being out and social but can’t do that alone.

Well from your pics you look fantastic already!

As some others have said… music! Go a stroll with your favorite band on the headphones

C

Any suggestions are welcome…. I’m annoying myself now with this mood "

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By *ockboy77Man
over a year ago

Angus, and Aberdeen area


"I need help getting out this funk I’m in, can’t seem to shift it, I’ve started exercising and doing yoga to make me feel more positive about my weight (as I’m the heaviest I’ve been in a while), going for walks to get out but it’s just not enough. I’ve had a lot of time wasters and liars on here lately which isn’t helping and I’m missing being out and social but can’t do that alone.

Well from your pics you look fantastic already!

As some others have said… music! Go a stroll with your favorite band on the headphones

C

Any suggestions are welcome…. I’m annoying myself now with this mood "

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

One foot in front of the other. Don’t worry about things outside your control, focus on the things you have control over.

Music can be a great mood alterer, find some new tunes / bands that you can listen to.

Watch crap on you tube to distract your brain from over thinking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try a mindfulness course via an app, eg Headspace

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look stunning, you have nothing to feel self conscious about, I know it's easier said than done. Just remember its natural to have anxieties and the majority of people feel the same way.

But believe in yourself, you sound a lovely woman and with your sexy body I can imagine that you get inundated with offers of friendship and more.

Maybe look at who you reply to, filter your messages more. Be choosy. Our advice would be to only look to get to know people who live reasonably close to you, who won't use distance and time as excuses to meet / cancel on you.

Only chat with photo verified people or those with real verifications but not too many

Also get them to message you a live pic with them doing a gesture of somekind, like doing a fist bump or holding so many fingers up etc. Helps discover who is real.

Also if they can't be arsed with that then they certainly won't be arsed in meeting.

Keep your chin up sexy x

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By *inkylips OP   Woman
over a year ago

Debauchery


"You look stunning, you have nothing to feel self conscious about, I know it's easier said than done. Just remember its natural to have anxieties and the majority of people feel the same way.

But believe in yourself, you sound a lovely woman and with your sexy body I can imagine that you get inundated with offers of friendship and more.

Maybe look at who you reply to, filter your messages more. Be choosy. Our advice would be to only look to get to know people who live reasonably close to you, who won't use distance and time as excuses to meet / cancel on you.

Only chat with photo verified people or those with real verifications but not too many

Also get them to message you a live pic with them doing a gesture of somekind, like doing a fist bump or holding so many fingers up etc. Helps discover who is real.

Also if they can't be arsed with that then they certainly won't be arsed in meeting.

Keep your chin up sexy x "

Thank you.

I am really particular with who I meet and I only meet people who Are local and I don’t just meet anyone because I’m after specific things sexually. It just seems lately there are a lot of time wasters out there .

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By *ill74Man
over a year ago

New forest area


"I need help getting out this funk I’m in, can’t seem to shift it, I’ve started exercising and doing yoga to make me feel more positive about my weight (as I’m the heaviest I’ve been in a while), going for walks to get out but it’s just not enough. I’ve had a lot of time wasters and liars on here lately which isn’t helping and I’m missing being out and social but can’t do that alone.

Any suggestions are welcome…. I’m annoying myself now with this mood "

Try meetup .com it's a vanilla site. Lots of different groups on there, just join up. Walking groups, cinema clubs, cycling, movie lovers, active (inserr age here) loads of different things. It is worth checking out. Through that I played badminton with a group for a year or so. Went on a few walks, met some random people in a pub (these events tend to have a contact you can meet at the bar and they will introduce you etc).

It is pretty good. It caters for all age ranges and interests. And gets you out and about.

Hope you check it out and give it a go.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Pineapple boosts your mood but is high in sugar, so have some of that in moderation as it's good. And asparagus for the horn.

Try something new like indoor rock climbing, that'll get you fit and laughing.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Have you thought about going to a club instead OP? Perhaps a night that is more focused around the ladies. Even if it's just to flirt and meet people to possibly meet up with at a later date. It saves a lot of the risk of being let down by people who are just here to wank from behind a computer.

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By *inkylips OP   Woman
over a year ago

Debauchery


"Pineapple boosts your mood but is high in sugar, so have some of that in moderation as it's good. And asparagus for the horn.

Try something new like indoor rock climbing, that'll get you fit and laughing."

I don’t have an issue with lack of horn that’s very much still there

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By *inkylips OP   Woman
over a year ago

Debauchery


"Have you thought about going to a club instead OP? Perhaps a night that is more focused around the ladies. Even if it's just to flirt and meet people to possibly meet up with at a later date. It saves a lot of the risk of being let down by people who are just here to wank from behind a computer. "

Yes I have but distance is an issue for me as I don’t drive.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Have you thought about going to a club instead OP? Perhaps a night that is more focused around the ladies. Even if it's just to flirt and meet people to possibly meet up with at a later date. It saves a lot of the risk of being let down by people who are just here to wank from behind a computer.

Yes I have but distance is an issue for me as I don’t drive."

Sorry to hear that. Hope you can make it one day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the same. Just trying to focus on the things that make me happy

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...


"I need help getting out this funk I’m in, can’t seem to shift it, I’ve started exercising and doing yoga to make me feel more positive about my weight (as I’m the heaviest I’ve been in a while), going for walks to get out but it’s just not enough. I’ve had a lot of time wasters and liars on here lately which isn’t helping and I’m missing being out and social but can’t do that alone.

Any suggestions are welcome…. I’m annoying myself now with this mood "

This mood, it will pass.

You say you've put on weight and are doing things to shift it. My advice, try not too. You're focusing on a negative and giving it oxygen. That which you resist about you, becomes about you.

Do things that you want to do, things you've never done before. Venture out. New experiences will help mould a new you.

It's not easy. It is possible.

You've got this!!!!!!

Winston

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