FabSwingers.com forum: Soul mate

By *iona OP Woman
over a year ago

outskirts

Believing in a soulmate for intimate relationship is quite limiting, cause it implies there is only one person in the world with who you can truly be fulfilled in a relationship with.

Do people really believe thats there's one perfect person out there for everyone or can we have several soulmates? Can someone who is your soulmate when your in your early 20s not be your soul mate in your 30s?

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I never used to believe that. It's illogical. However I'd not met My Girl then. Before her I'd even been happily married accepting how good things were and how much I loved my wife but also knowing she wasn't my soul mate and rationally concluding the idea of a soul mate was romantic idiocy.

But My Girl is taste the difference. I had to find her and experience what we have to understand. And I truly believe I am lucky because not everyone ever gets to have what we have. I think it's statistically difficult to find such a match. She really is my best everything and the one I turn to for everything. My best friend, lover, confidant and drinking buddy. She really is my soul mate. She is a part of me.

Interesting when you talk about how people change and thus challenge the concept of a life soul mate. I think it's more a point of finding each other at the right time. We were both not ready for each other say 10 or 20 years ago. Life needed to teach us lessons and let us both grow first to appreciate each other and be in a place where we could communicate with each other the way we do. And we needed to learn first to love ourselves and be ok on our own first. Not that we don't continue to grow but now with our differences and communication we grow and get better together.

As to what about other people. I say yes you can have lots of great things with other people. You can also meet Mr/Mrs Almost Right. It's not a case of someone is right or wrong for you. And it's perfect possible and ok to have people in your life who fall on various different points on the romantic/sex/freindship spectrum. What we have with other people doesn't have to fit in clearly defined boxes. And just because we find our soul mate doesn't mean others haven't got anything to offer us and it's ok to have others in our life too.

So despite my logic (and I get I sound like a religious nut) I am now a believer. I have this connection in my life and have experienced it for my self. It is possible to find your soulmate in this world. And if you ever do you'll know, you'll taste the difference.

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

I personally believe in soulmates as well as twin flames. Your twin flame is the other half of your soul and always a romantic love - yin (or yang) to your yang (or yin).

We meet soulmates every step of our lives (without always realising it). They are not necessarily romantic partners but are those who we feel an immediate connection with, we feel at home with - be that in friendship or as romantic lovers/partners.

Both are here to teach us valuable life lessons, often a very painful process but with love and good intentions.

They are the people in our lives who hold up the mirror to us, to show us our unresolved issues. Relationships with twin flames are particularly intense and very fast moving.

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

I believe in soul mates. I found mine but she was ripped away recently. I don't know if I will ever find her like again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Frontier. I find your post very interesting and thought provoking.

I feel my wife is my soul mate. We have exactly the same houmor, same interests in hobbies, same opinions on everything apart from her old fashioned values on male and female roles sexualy. I feel she completes me. Apart from my kinks, I feel we have an amazing sex life.

Then I think if this is true why am I here? Looking for things I don't get at home. Things she has no desire for. Im hoping her being a good few years younger than me she will open up sexualy. I have communicated on many occasions what I'd like to try sexualy but to no avail. Although I sincerely feel we are made for each other, and I couldn't see my self without her. Am I being selfish and poisonous to both our lives?

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I share your skepticism, but I have found my soul mate even though I didn't think there was such a person.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

It's the right person right time again.

My friend soulmate has been in my life for a few years now and we regard each other as family.

I think with trust issues for me that's as far as I want to go as having a romantic soul mate terrifies me. Spending love and nurture with my special friends makes us happy and is perfect for us right now

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I believe in the concept, but not on a singular basis, due to the statistical unlikeliness of finding one out of billions.

But it seems to me that there could be hundreds or even thousands of people, spread around the world, with whom the connection would be so strong that it would be called "soul mates", and all one needs is to find one of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t believe in soul mates.

Certain people bring certain things to your life that is needed at certain times.

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By *enelope2UWoman
over a year ago

Fife

"Believing in a soulmate for intimate relationship is quite limiting, cause it implies there is only one person in the world with who you can truly be fulfilled in a relationship with.

Believe you are confusing sex and love.

They are t the same but can be from the same person.

Your soulmate will fulfill your soul and there will be no one else sexually that you will even desire because loosing them can't replace how you feel SOLELY sexually.

Too many people JUST fuck and finding someone to fuck better is limitless. You don't need love to fuck you just need a body and some don't care what body dead or alive that it is with.

So yes I believe in soulmates and I also believe in sexual mates.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I think I believe in them because once you’ve found them and lost them no one else really compares and it’s hard to imagine anyone could ever replace them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, not at all. For a start I don't believe in souls so that makes it a bit harder.

What I do believe is that humans aren't all that different and have evolved to form long term caring relationships so it's perfectly reasonable to find a person who makes you feel as though you're somehow designed for each other.

This pretty much sums it all up.

https://youtu.be/Zn6gV2sdl38

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I believe in them because once you’ve found them and lost them no one else really compares and it’s hard to imagine anyone could ever replace them "

Or is this just that having lost someone that close you're not able to face the concept of that level of loss again so build walla to prevent it?

Or, assuming this loss was a breakup not a bereavement, you no longer trust in the idea because it clearly didn't work out last time. No matter how close you get to someone it isn't them that doesn't match up or anything wrong with the relationship you have with them, you're just aware that this isnt something that is automatically eternal. For me this last makes for what I believe is a stronger relationship. When you believe your partner is your soul mate, put there by the universe in some way to make you both complete there's less imperative to nuture that relationship just as you don't check each morning to make sure the sun has come up or gravity still works. Instead there is an awareness that no matter how good something is it always has the potential to go wrong so you know you ALLWAYS need to work to maintain it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I answer Ed in the other duplicated thread.

Something like - ‘yes’.

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By *iona OP Woman
over a year ago

outskirts

"I never used to believe that. It's illogical. However I'd not met My Girl then. Before her I'd even been happily married accepting how good things were and how much I loved my wife but also knowing she wasn't my soul mate and rationally concluding the idea of a soul mate was romantic idiocy.

Some good points

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By *iona OP Woman
over a year ago

outskirts

"Frontier. I find your post very interesting and thought provoking.

Only you can answer that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had an "arsoul" mate in my little brother. He died this morning and I'm slowing realising how much he meant to me, the little shit x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They say we have lots of soul mates but only one twin flame

Mines hiding from me

if I believe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had an "arsoul" mate in my little brother. He died this morning and I'm slowing realising how much he meant to me, the little shit x"

So sorry for your loss xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had her and il never have another one as i wont let my self be that vulnerable to anyone again i dont cope well with adult emotions tears dont suit wild men

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

"I personally believe in soulmates as well as twin flames. Your twin flame is the other half of your soul and always a romantic love - yin (or yang) to your yang (or yin).

Both are here to teach us valuable life lessons, often a very painful process but with love and good intentions.

They are the people in our lives who hold up the mirror to us, to show us our unresolved issues. Relationships with twin flames are particularly intense and very fast moving.

That’s what I believe in too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I personally believe in soulmates as well as twin flames. Your twin flame is the other half of your soul and always a romantic love - yin (or yang) to your yang (or yin).

Both are here to teach us valuable life lessons, often a very painful process but with love and good intentions.

They are the people in our lives who hold up the mirror to us, to show us our unresolved issues. Relationships with twin flames are particularly intense and very fast moving.

"
twin flame i like that i called it lightning in a bottle

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By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago

Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove

I believe in soul connection me - that deep bond you can have with someone, even after you have met them briefly

Soul mate, nope. It’s over hyped in books and media leaving people disappointed in their relationships if it doesn’t seem to have that connection

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By *hisisntpofMan
over a year ago

bristol

Like fred says on first dates ,theres someone out there for everyone

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"I think I believe in them because once you’ve found them and lost them no one else really compares and it’s hard to imagine anyone could ever replace them "
sadly I am with you on this.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I think I believe in them because once you’ve found them and lost them no one else really compares and it’s hard to imagine anyone could ever replace them

Or is this just that having lost someone that close you're not able to face the concept of that level of loss again so build walla to prevent it?

I get totally what you are saying and they hold up as theories and valid opinions but they are not the same as direct experiences.

It’s like faith , many, many people backslide but very few people having had a direct spiritual experience are ever able to fully unbelieve.

Now you can say you dint believe they ever did, because you haven’t experienced it and therefore cannot understand it and that’s fine, but effectively you’re just saying they have a mental health issue and cannot accurately discern reality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m cynical so definitely a no, although there are people for various reasons we are more compatible with.

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By *an de LyonMan
over a year ago

welling

I think you can have “soul mates” for a particular period in your life but I think it depends on whether you can grow and change together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I believe in them because once you’ve found them and lost them no one else really compares and it’s hard to imagine anyone could ever replace them

Or is this just that having lost someone that close you're not able to face the concept of that level of loss again so build walla to prevent it?

I get totally what you are saying and they hold up as theories and valid opinions but they are not the same as direct experiences.

It’s like faith , many, many people backslide but very few people having had a direct spiritual experience are ever able to fully unbelieve.

A person who hasn't had a spiritual experience has a mental breakthrough issue and is unable to accurately discern reality?

Righto.

Good to know that after thousands of years of human endeavour Mr Hot Notts has seen the ultimate reality. I'm pleased for you mate and will await the new religion with baited breath.

You see, this argument relies on believing I've never felt that I had found my soul mate or had a spiritual experience- two large and false assumptions.

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By *iona OP Woman
over a year ago

outskirts

"Had her and il never have another one as i wont let my self be that vulnerable to anyone again i dont cope well with adult emotions tears dont suit wild men "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have someone who is my rock and soul mate. I have another who is my fwb, best friend and soul mate. I have an an unbelievable bond with both. With the latter, we both know that whatever we do and wherever we are in the future, we will always be there for one another and I honestly believe there is room for more than one soul mate

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Believing in a soulmate for intimate relationship is quite limiting, cause it implies there is only one person in the world with who you can truly be fulfilled in a relationship with.

I don’t think there’s one perfect person for me, because people aren’t perfect and I think it’s more about fate. But I wholeheartedly think there are folk out there who are the rhubarb to my custard, and more than one. But….they’re a bitch to find!

For example, one might be residing in Quatemala, but I have no plans to visit Quatemala, but luckily they have other options. There might be one residing in West Wales. More chance of us meeting than the stars aligning in Quatemala.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I don't believe that there's only one perfect person for anyone. There are lots of people that anyone could have a great relationship with.

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By *arkcrystalMan
over a year ago

Bristol

I fell in love with everyone I slept with and now all I have is an empty space where my heart used to be.

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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

"Had her and il never have another one as i wont let my self be that vulnerable to anyone again i dont cope well with adult emotions tears dont suit wild men "

I hear you mate. After I lost her I thought I’d never let my self be that vulnerable. Yet, almost two years after I got attached to another one and only realised that after lost her as well…

Yeah, I believe in soul mates and now i know there is more then one… Just need some time to lick my soul wounds.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I have never met mine so on available evidence I do not believe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I miss her daily

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Believing in a soulmate for intimate relationship is quite limiting, cause it implies there is only one person in the world with who you can truly be fulfilled in a relationship with.

Limiting? That passionate Soul connection isn’t there then is it?

You will know your soul mates hunger for depth closeness intimacy and undeniable trust. You will want that both ways to dive into each other’s fantasies and desires. A connection of minds with the vulnerability of the heart.

How is that limited?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to believe but have yet to experience (hence why single).

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

"I miss her daily"

I know how you feel. Lost my soulmate 3 months ago.

Feels like there's a big hole.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I believe in soul mates.

I had found my soul mate but we only had 6 years before she passed.

We were on the same wavelength, and just gelled in every way

Since then I have always kept part of me locked away so as not to get hurt.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I don't believe in soul mates. Unfortunately I have had so many bad experiences with relationships that I am wary of getting involved.

Maybe you can grow to be sulfates over a period of time

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By *iona OP Woman
over a year ago

outskirts

"I believe in soul mates.

I had found my soul mate but we only had 6 years before she passed.

We were on the same wavelength, and just gelled in every way

Since then I have always kept part of me locked away so as not to get hurt."

Aww I'm sorry to here that. It's not easy moving on after you have lost someone that you love.

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