FabSwingers.com forum: Give me one good reason why you are not a stripper

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

just wondered

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Old, fat and ugly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because no one would pay to see this lol

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

I can't dance for shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

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By *xxLandNxxxCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

L could give you a few good reasons why she is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I'm fat and I can't dance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dodgy elbow means I can't use a scraper properly.

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"My dodgy elbow means I can't use a scraper properly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I would be a shite stripper

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By *ister CMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Because I make more by keeping the clothes on...

When that balance changes I'll get my sequin thong out...

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By *carlet_woman_xxWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

I'd just laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've stripped before. Some bars and clubs used to pay $25 for amateurs to take a turn on the pole. 3 minute dance easy money when you have fuck all. Would be a packed out house too.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Too clumsy

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"I've stripped before. Some bars and clubs used to pay $25 for amateurs to take a turn on the pole. 3 minute dance easy money when you have fuck all. Would be a packed out house too.

"
good on you

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

I'm not a great dancer, would be really embarrassed and dislike being the centre of attention.

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"I'm not a great dancer, would be really embarrassed and dislike being the centre of attention. "
I will put you in the chippendales

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My man tits aren’t perky enough.

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"My man tits aren’t perky enough."

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By *inkyCouple1927Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle

Nobody would want to see that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Old, fat and ugly.

"
beg to differ you look great hun .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/07/22 18:16:58]

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

"I'm not a great dancer, would be really embarrassed and dislike being the centre of attention. I will put you in the chippendales

I loved the Rescue Rangers!

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By *evonspankMan
over a year ago

Tiverton

Tiny willy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I’m fat!_

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I’d be so awkward doing it

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By *cecold1980Man
over a year ago

ashington

Nobody wants to pay to see my truffle

Shuffle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Old, ugly, small cock, fat arse. I'm sure I will think of more presently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They sacked me for being too good, the other girls weren't getting enough attention.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just skipped the starter fase and went straight to am porn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I would be a shite stripper"

That sounds like a terrible job. Even if you have no sense of smell.

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By *hellebelleWoman
over a year ago

ashford

The only money I’d make is people paying me to keep my clothes on lol

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

The schools careers advisor inexplicably forgot to suggest it

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By *urvytreatWoman
over a year ago

somewhere nice

I’m short, a fat heffa, ugly and couldn’t dance if my life depended on it! I’d have to pay people to watch me, and that’d cost too much!!

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By *oberts_onMan
over a year ago

King's Lynn

Nobody looks at me for free, they certainly won't pay I'm sure!?

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

C is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sweet Jesus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"C is K"

Not a bad lager.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I like the mental stimulation my current job provides.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mother told me to never ever take my string vest off, or I’d catch a chill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like wearing clothes

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By *_elia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

Couldn't get stripper shoes to fit my weird ass feet.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Couldn't get stripper shoes to fit my weird ass feet.....

Ass feet are very difficult to measure.

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

The great British public is just not ready for this jelly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Couldn't get stripper shoes to fit my weird ass feet.....

Ass feet? Do you live near Torness?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I'm waaaaaaay too shy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll get naked for free if asked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They get paid.

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

I used to be a stripper.....of wall paper.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I can’t imagine anyone wanting to watch me strip. Unless it was part of my comedy act I’m working on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I'd hate seeing lots of people looking at me. I'd cover my eyes with my hands and refuse to move until everyone left, just like I did aged 4 playing the Evil Witch in Snow White at playschool.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Because I'd hate seeing lots of people looking at me. I'd cover my eyes with my hands and refuse to move until everyone left, just like I did aged 4 playing the Evil Witch in Snow White at playschool."

Why are you/your posts so adorable?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Couldn't say I'm hot stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldnt be able to walk in strippers heels!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are you/your posts so adorable?

I think it's only you who interprets me that way!

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I strip every night, but unfortunately there's nobody there to throw pound coins at me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m 57 dad bod

Still never stopped the full monty

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By *reamblueMan
over a year ago

London

Because I don't want to be one

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

I don't have the tits, arse or legs for it.

However the tits are getting there...

Winston

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Far far too lazy

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"I don't have the tits, arse or legs for it.

However the tits are getting there...

Winston

I'd make it rain for you Winston, don't worry about not having the arse for it.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I'd fall over trying to get socks off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My age

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By *anshee99Woman
over a year ago

all over

No coordination

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gravity it's all heading downwards

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By *ingo00Man
over a year ago

Cowley

I don't even like seeing myself undressed

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By *tarburst babydollMan
over a year ago

Dingwall

Old, fat and can't dance

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By *ighlander81Man
over a year ago

Hamilton

Dad bod and about as sexy as Mr Bean

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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington

Why I'm NOT a stripper?

...I'm sorry I don't understand the question

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Because I need to give other guys a chance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m fat, I have 2 left and I’m too old

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

I’m fat

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

Nobody would pay good money to see me naked

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Because the only place I can dance well is in my head the reality is far from sexy

And I have wobbly bits too that jiggle when they shouldn't

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

"I don't have the tits, arse or legs for it.

However the tits are getting there...

Winston

I'd make it rain for you Winston, don't worry about not having the arse for it."

For you Meli....... I'll shave my legs.

Winston

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Can't dance in heels

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

"Can't dance in heels"

You'd "love" Tango.

Walking backwards, like you're on a balance beam, one foot behind the other, wearing heels.......

Winston

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By *aughty Couple ABCCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich

"Old, fat and ugly.

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got fat and stopped getting d*unk meaning i kept my clothes on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't even strip wallpaper. People would pay good money for me to keep my clothes on

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I’d start out naked and make more money getting paid to put my clothes back on

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By *irth VaderMan
over a year ago

glasgow

CILLIT wouldn’t BANG me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d make everyone strip. Don’t see why I should be the only one.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

Got no ass alas

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By *ndisMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Because I dance like I've had my feet broken by Annie Wilkes!

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Because its meant to be entertaining and erotic not a horror show

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough / Kettering

Because it's meant to be physically attractive and titillating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm clumsy af ..although I've been complimented on my lap dancing abilities ..the latter is also why I don't mix Monster and vodka anymore.....limited recollection

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

Because I can't dance, I can't talk...the only thing about me is the way I walk.

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By *oberts_onMan
over a year ago

King's Lynn

"Because I can't dance, I can't talk...the only thing about me is the way I walk."

You just standing there selling everything?

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

"Because I can't dance, I can't talk...the only thing about me is the way I walk.

You just standing there selling everything? "

Quite. Any offers on a well-worn pair of Calvin Klein boxers?

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By *irtyDesires88Couple
over a year ago

Swindon

Coz i wouldn't want to work those hours

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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

Mum bod no one wants to pay to see that stripping

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I can't dance, I can't talk...the only thing about me is the way I walk."
good words. Love Genesis

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

People who pay for strippers tend to have eyesight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mum bod no one wants to pay to see that stripping "
think you'll find ppl would pay good money to watch. You're very attractive xxx

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

"Mum bod no one wants to pay to see that stripping

think you'll find ppl would pay good money to watch. You're very attractive xxx"

^^^^^^^ smooooooooth.

Winston

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By *atfuckerbristolMan
over a year ago

Wells

The laws of supply and demand

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

Cock isn’t big enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dance worse than your dad

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By *astesLikeMagicWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

I haven't got the body for it

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

"I haven't got the body for it"

I would disagree there you have a great body

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Can't be bothered to shave my legs every day for work and they don't half pull on the pole.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

There have been enough injuries from women passing out due to seeing my magnificent torso. It would only make the situation worse. Luke

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By * kiss like morphineMan
over a year ago

The gravelly bit next to the shed

Have you ever unwrapped a Gregg's sausage roll after leaving it in your back pocket and sat down driving on a hot day for ten hours?

Yeah like that, but hey you still might

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Have you ever unwrapped a Gregg's sausage roll after leaving it in your back pocket and sat down driving on a hot day for ten hours?

Yeah like that, but hey you still might

You can get cream for that.

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By *oberts_onMan
over a year ago

King's Lynn

"Mum bod no one wants to pay to see that stripping "

Absolutely nothing wrong with a mum bod!!

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

My face is the issue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I start naked so nothing to strip.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I prefer to paint over it. It's easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m fat and a terrible dancer lol

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By *hrough the looking gla55Couple
over a year ago

Epsom

No one wants to give me my first break. Just gimme a chance!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because when I take my bra off I’d knock out the front row as my boobs dropped x

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By * kiss like morphineMan
over a year ago

The gravelly bit next to the shed

"Have you ever unwrapped a Gregg's sausage roll after leaving it in your back pocket and sat down driving on a hot day for ten hours?

Yeah like that, but hey you still might

You can get cream for that. "

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

Because I tried burlesque and I've got zero natural rhythm or grace.

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By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley

just wondered

The industry can’t handle what I have on offer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was no pension scheme on offer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im too fat

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By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley

"Mum bod no one wants to pay to see that stripping "

It’s the absolute desire of a lot of us gents curves and a few jiggles

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By *i_guy_sloughMan
over a year ago

Langley

"Im too fat"

@pineapplejuice no you are not!!!!!!

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By *untogetherCouple
over a year ago

Malaga, Spain, Not in U. K.

"Why I'm NOT a stripper?

...I'm sorry I don't understand the question

...

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By *untogetherCouple
over a year ago

Malaga, Spain, Not in U. K.

Nobody wants to see my impression of Bambi on ice in stripper shoes. I would end up with 2 broken ankles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody would be paying attention to me and my "Fabulous" moves.. probably cause they would have suffered heart attacks

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I've stripped before. Some bars and clubs used to pay $25 for amateurs to take a turn on the pole. 3 minute dance easy money when you have fuck all. Would be a packed out house too.

It’s a bit different now, dancers I know pay the clubs to dance there and can £600 on a good night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like being naked, but I'd feel weird dancing for the crowd and would probably get erect from nerves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fat and I can't dance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't got the body or face for it.

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By *agicfingers1Man
over a year ago

near Brighton

I'd have to pay for people to watch lol

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Can’t think of one… career change pending..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be giving out refunds rather than making money

NBVN x

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By *agicfingers1Man
over a year ago

near Brighton

"I'd be giving out refunds rather than making money

NBVN x"

Pretty much the same.....only nobody would pay in the first instance with me lol

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

My Nat Ins contributions would be higher than my wage.

Gbat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love to dance but would instantly hate it if it was my job! Also the actual effort of being polite to Joe public, I couldn't hack it

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Because I'm fat and saggy and I'd have to do it seated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“admirers" aka stalkers

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

I’m already naked.

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By *azkinsWoman
over a year ago

leeds

I need ironing.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I can give plenty.

Old, unfit, insecure, lazy, can't dance, and I'd probably piss myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll get naked for free

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’d swing my tits and take out the light fittings. I’m a health and safety nightmare!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Far too many wobbly bits plus I can't dance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you seen me on a pole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I can't bend down to pick the clothes back up

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By *mooth Operator 07Man
over a year ago

in the deep mist of the valleys

Dad dancing is not sexually attractive, save your cash. In fact I would have to pay you

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

Because my milkshake would not bring all the boys to the yard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mate sold her pole

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

In these shoes?!

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Still struggling to find an appropriate theme tune

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Because non of my underwear match. Don’t think granny knickers and mismatched bras would be suitable stripper wear.

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By *lfacatMan
over a year ago

Cumbria

I’m allergic to Velcro.

;-)

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By *r easy1981Man
over a year ago

leeds

I am fat and have tits like a woman

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Because the ladies would be unable to keep their hands to themselves and im not a piece of meat

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By *elightfulharmonyWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

Can think of loads but will go with just not sexy enough

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I can't stand up and get undressed without falling over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cover up with sweeties

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By *ilberto42Man
over a year ago

north wales

My heatgun broke

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By *ee f 1233Man
over a year ago

Crewe

"Can think of loads but will go with just not sexy enough

You definitely are sexy enough lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because ..."I don't think you're ready for this jelly"

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By *oly Fuck Sticks BatmanCouple
over a year ago

here & there

"I can't dance for shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit"

This....

Sweet xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because my milkshake would not bring all the boys to the yard "

You are kidding right? I would pay to see your milkshake

NBVN x

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By *oingMan
over a year ago

co. antrim

A complete lack of coordination

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Cock to big

Swinging it round all day when give me back ache haha

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

"Because my milkshake would not bring all the boys to the yard

You are kidding right? I would pay to see your milkshake

NBVN x"

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

I take my clothes of too quick!

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

"I can't stand up and get undressed without falling over."

https://youtu.be/P7HBhjCMhbE

Winston

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By *hisisntpofMan
over a year ago

bristol

Keep tripping over my toe nails lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to fold my clothes up when I take them off. Not sure ppl pay money to watch a nearly 50 yo man do origami with his pants and shirt.

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

Bad knees

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Cause I have shit tits and spiders legs everywhere

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Have to fold my clothes up when I take them off. Not sure ppl pay money to watch a nearly 50 yo man do origami with his pants and shirt. "

Internet, rule 34

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By *reen as JadeCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire

I did it once and that was it for a dare for myself. I was so scared minutes before, I relaxed more when I had done the strip and was naked. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm to lazy

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

"Because I'm fat and saggy and I'd have to do it seated. "

You could always do it seated on my lap...

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By *d4funtimesMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

just wondered

Don't charge for it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Average cock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ain't nobody wanna see this shaking his ass

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