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Advice needed

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So the other night me and my partner are chilling and around 12:30/1am I noticed that her phone lit up and she gets a message and a friend request through fb.

Not noticing I have noticed this she disappears to the toilet for a couple of minutes and comes back.

I haven't got her pin to her phone so it's just what I seen on the screen when the notifications pop up.

So we go to bed about 2am ish and I cant sleep. So I decided to look again at her screen at about 3:30am.

She had switched off all WiFi and mobile data and put her phone on to 'Do not disturb'.

So i switched them back on lol and instantly messages from fb messenger came through time stamped 2.28am.

I don't know what to make of it. Seems strange behaviour and also at a strange time of time ?

Advice ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a conversation with her. Simple as that.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I think of it bothers you that much you should ask her about it rather than sneaking looks at her phone or turning off her do not disturb when she has it on.

I know if I found someone was trying to look through my phone rather than ask me about something I'd be pissed off with them and their lack of consideration for my privacy. Snooping never ends well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Snooping on your partners phone is a dick move but since you’ve already done it the only was to solve this issue is to speak to her about it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I get facebook messenger messages all through the night because I have relatives in various time zones around the world. I only mention them to my partner the next day when I've read them.

I also sometimes get FB messages from random oddballs or advertising people and catfish.

Ask your partner.

Why don't you trust them?

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"

Why don't you trust them? "

In a nutshell

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Only time I've ever felt compelled to want to know who or what's being said was when deep down I already knew I was being lied to.

I will however take my own phone as an example of innocence. I have friends who work shifts, some of them nights. I've woken up on multiple occasions to messages that were sent in the wee hours, no urgency, they just know I'll get back to them when I'm awake.

I would however, if in a relationship, request my friends messaged during normal hours unless it's an emergency as I'm aware it can cause suspicion and make people feel uncomfortable.

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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago

Wombwell, Barnsley

Hindsight is a great thing. Maybe one thing to do would have been to say you noticed that she got a message and starting the conversation then. This subterfuge on both sides doesn't sound healthy.

Best to talk now and get it out in the open, otherwise it will be like an open sore that festers the more you pick at it.

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By *elloWoman
over a year ago

alpha centauri

Jeez, if I'm ever in a relationship again I'm going to lock my phone up at night, that's such an invasion of trust, and I'd you mistrust her that much then what hope is there in the relationship lasting if all it takes is a FB message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone snooped through my phone I’d be livid!

I hope that as you’re being so distrusting of her that she knows you’re on here and knows everything about your life?

She’s allowed to have friends that message that you don’t know about, that’s not unreasonable. As long as she isn’t acting on it.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Stop snooping ffs

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Don't be invading her privacy.

Just ask her.

My phone goes on silent after half 10 at night so I don't get disturbed by messages and emails.

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West

Does she take the phone to the toilet

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

I’d say communication is key, but you stated that you tampered with her phone to get those messages to come in.

Trust is gone in that situation, so either you talk to your partner or do the right thing and walk away and work on your trust.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

When you know , you know. Get rid of that one

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