FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Fab coaching

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Afternoon all!

Hope you’re enjoying the sun

Been on here a little while. Went a few club nights and had a ball.

When messaging women on fab I struggle.

I get that there are more single men than women on here so the markets quite saturated, and you’ve got to have a profile that stands out.

I’ve refreshed my profile so hoping that works.

But Is there someone who can help me message more women with the right things to say?

I’m a little dyslexic so I think that may hold me back cause I’m better talking to someone in person.

Gracias x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately, you’re gonna have to work it out for yourself.

Let’s hypothetically say that I were to give you a bunch of stuff to put in a message. That message would no longer reflect you would it?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *moking GunCouple
over a year ago

East Anglia

Hey bud, (gun here)

Its not necessarily just what you say but who is behind the words. Its hard to explain so ill try give you some examples.

Hey, I really like your profile, im curious to know if you would want to meet?

Hey there, ITs nice to meet you i read through your profile and i saw X and like Y and can imagine Z... Id like to get toknow you better.

In example 1 the intention is clear you want to meet and this is SO obvious to anyone. We are on fab so it is expected that a message probably in the large majority of cases is a meet. But the second example shows that you have made the effort to see what this person you are messaging wants.

I see a lot of single guys talk about how unfair things are but in my honest opinion sharing it with the world A isnt going to change it. and B is only going to make them look lazy in the eyes of anyone who sees that post so Kudos to you for seeing where you might improve and looking for help.

As for your dyslexia, dont let it define you bud, its a part of you and not something you should feel ashamed for your brain just works a little differently, and while there will be those out there who will instantly say NO. i dont think those are the kinds of people youll want to connect with.

HAving been a single AUTISTIC male on here for some time, i learnt to

A be myself,

B trust that the right people will come by when the time is right.

C Take the opportunities when they are presented ( however they might reveal themselves) - Meets arent easy to come by and the fact youve been to clubs is a great start, because they are justopportunities in which you can present yourself more comfortably (in person)

I wish you the best, any questions, I'm happy to help.

Gun

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

You want them to go meet them for you too?

Come on. As men struggle enough k can't see how they would want to help you get a meet when they can't get their own. Plus you would need them to read the profile of the person your wanting to message and then write a message for you to send to them? It wouldn't be a message from you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

OP..maybe you might find it easier to attend an organised group social. Just a bunch of people at the pub..no pressure..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be yourself, if the person is right for you they will understand

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You want them to go meet them for you too?

Come on. As men struggle enough k can't see how they would want to help you get a meet when they can't get their own. Plus you would need them to read the profile of the person your wanting to message and then write a message for you to send to them? It wouldn't be a message from you.

"

You just defined a cuck consultant

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hey bud, (gun here)

Its not necessarily just what you say but who is behind the words. Its hard to explain so ill try give you some examples.

Hey, I really like your profile, im curious to know if you would want to meet?

Hey there, ITs nice to meet you i read through your profile and i saw X and like Y and can imagine Z... Id like to get toknow you better.

In example 1 the intention is clear you want to meet and this is SO obvious to anyone. We are on fab so it is expected that a message probably in the large majority of cases is a meet. But the second example shows that you have made the effort to see what this person you are messaging wants.

I see a lot of single guys talk about how unfair things are but in my honest opinion sharing it with the world A isnt going to change it. and B is only going to make them look lazy in the eyes of anyone who sees that post so Kudos to you for seeing where you might improve and looking for help.

As for your dyslexia, dont let it define you bud, its a part of you and not something you should feel ashamed for your brain just works a little differently, and while there will be those out there who will instantly say NO. i dont think those are the kinds of people youll want to connect with.

HAving been a single AUTISTIC male on here for some time, i learnt to

A be myself,

B trust that the right people will come by when the time is right.

C Take the opportunities when they are presented ( however they might reveal themselves) - Meets arent easy to come by and the fact youve been to clubs is a great start, because they are justopportunities in which you can present yourself more comfortably (in person)

I wish you the best, any questions, I'm happy to help.

Gun

"

Oh my goodness thanks so much for the advice! I really appreciate it - will deffo take these words on board!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You want them to go meet them for you too?

Come on. As men struggle enough k can't see how they would want to help you get a meet when they can't get their own. Plus you would need them to read the profile of the person your wanting to message and then write a message for you to send to them? It wouldn't be a message from you.

"

No not at all. I’m willing to put in the graft on all occasions it’s just I thought it was something I was saying or not saying but thanks for taking the time to read and respond.

Hope you have a nice day x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"OP..maybe you might find it easier to attend an organised group social. Just a bunch of people at the pub..no pressure.."

Yeah I’d prefer that. I’m akin to a social butterfly im happy talking to someone in person rather than online. I’ll have a look and see if there’s any socials Newcastle way

Thanks and have a lovely day

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Be yourself, if the person is right for you they will understand "

Perfect I’ll do that too x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Just look at the issues Cyrano de Bergerac had using that approach.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wuu2?

Hey!

Free now! Want some fun?

Can you accom? I need draining

Avoid these thanks.

Be nice and be polite and be yourself.

Unless your a Cnut then refer to above.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Join in with forum/cam room chat o/p and get noticed that way. Plenty of topics up for discussion. Good luck!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago

Wombwell, Barnsley


"Afternoon all!

Hope you’re enjoying the sun

Been on here a little while. Went a few club nights and had a ball.

When messaging women on fab I struggle.

I get that there are more single men than women on here so the markets quite saturated, and you’ve got to have a profile that stands out.

I’ve refreshed my profile so hoping that works.

But Is there someone who can help me message more women with the right things to say?

I’m a little dyslexic so I think that may hold me back cause I’m better talking to someone in person.

Gracias x"

You seem very articulate to me. Unfortunately there is no one size fits all approach, and no list of the correct questions to ask/phrases to use. It's difficult to explain, but it's a number of factors, not just what you write, that helps decide whether someone likes you or not. And that's only after they've taken notice of your message/profile in the first place.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"You want them to go meet them for you too?

Come on. As men struggle enough k can't see how they would want to help you get a meet when they can't get their own. Plus you would need them to read the profile of the person your wanting to message and then write a message for you to send to them? It wouldn't be a message from you.

You just defined a cuck consultant "

Haha love that. Could see that taking off lol Have an office next to ann summers.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"You want them to go meet them for you too?

Come on. As men struggle enough k can't see how they would want to help you get a meet when they can't get their own. Plus you would need them to read the profile of the person your wanting to message and then write a message for you to send to them? It wouldn't be a message from you.

No not at all. I’m willing to put in the graft on all occasions it’s just I thought it was something I was saying or not saying but thanks for taking the time to read and respond.

Hope you have a nice day x"

Ps dont worry about your dyslexia. I have it myself. Sometimes I write a message in the phone or laptop notebook so i can use the spell and grammer check. Its mostly a pain when in the forums as i dont check it so much but the grammer police come out in force and love to pick posts apart.

To me a good first message is one that mentions or refers to something in my profile. Even just 1 question. That way I know you have read it!

If I like someone I always try and end the message with a question. That way they have something to respond to or answer.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Talk to somebody normally, like you would away from Fab. Don't leap into a conversation about sex. Women on here don't run 0898 numbers for you. Talking to a total stranger about their sex life is not going to do very much for most women or couples.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top