FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

How to put on a......

Jump to newest
 

By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Condom..

Step 1. get the willy nice and hard So a bit of wanking or sucking...

Step 2.. Unwrap the condom and place the condom on the willy making sure the teat bit is facing upwards...

Step 3 Roll down the condom so the end is reaching the bottom of the willy.. remember if you have a small willy use a condom to match yor size and the same if you have a rather big one..

Step 4 enjoy the experience you are faced with.. When that is done and dusted and not before one minute..

Step 5 Hold the base of the willy and take off the condom...

Condoms prevents letters from the CSA and dieases where you have to sit there answering embrassing questions from a nurse thinking WTF...!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for that, very informative

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Thanks for that, very informative "

I thought so... Just doing my bit... x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he Original TTMan
over a year ago

Brackley, Northants


"Condom..

Step 1. get the willy nice and hard So a bit of wanking or sucking...

Step 2.. Unwrap the condom and place the condom on the willy making sure the teat bit is facing upwards...

Step 3 Roll down the condom so the end is reaching the bottom of the willy.. remember if you have a small willy use a condom to match yor size and the same if you have a rather big one..

Step 4 enjoy the experience you are faced with.. When that is done and dusted and not before one minute..

Step 5 Hold the base of the willy and take off the condom...

Condoms prevents letters from the CSA and dieases where you have to sit there answering embrassing questions from a nurse thinking WTF...!!

"

Hmmm, still unclear... Do you do practical demonstrations?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is the next lesson from Miss please?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for that, very informative

I thought so... Just doing my bit... x"

What a very nice public service

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nice work Cheeky. Will part II of the masterclass inform us how they can double up as party balloons?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will there be demonstrations at your party?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

I'm still not sure I understand it properly. Can I stay behind for some extra tuition, please, Miss?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Will there be demonstrations at your party? "

Yes there will be and it will involve glow in the dark condom.... x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Who didn't squeeze the air bubble out

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Will there be demonstrations at your party?

Yes there will be and it will involve glow in the dark condom.... x"

Put me name down lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Who didn't squeeze the air bubble out "

Ohhhh buggers guys and girls don't forget to squeeze the air bubble out....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Confession: i have never put a condom on a man

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Confession: i have never put a condom on a man "

Neither have I

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Confession: i have never put a condom on a man "

I have given you the steps so try it...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Confession: i have never put a condom on a man

Neither have I "

Yeah yeah...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol


"Nice work Cheeky. Will part II of the masterclass inform us how they can double up as party balloons?"

nah water bombs !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Confession: i have never put a condom on a man "

Same here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol


"Who didn't squeeze the air bubble out "

how do u do that .. show me please ??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nice work Cheeky. Will part II of the masterclass inform us how they can double up as party balloons?

nah water bombs ! "

uuuhhhm.... spunk bombs?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

Anyone tried putting one on whilst also giving a blowjob at the same time?

Seen that done in porn plenty of times but never met anyone that could / would do it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol


"Anyone tried putting one on whilst also giving a blowjob at the same time?

Seen that done in porn plenty of times but never met anyone that could / would do it."

do we get a gold star if we say we can ??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon


"Anyone tried putting one on whilst also giving a blowjob at the same time?

Seen that done in porn plenty of times but never met anyone that could / would do it.

do we get a gold star if we say we can ??"

Absolutely!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Stretch condom

Place "nipple" end up nostril

Inhale while keeping hold of the other end

Reach into gob & pull out nipple end

Stretch again & enjoy

*courtesy of the useless information department*

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Confession: i have never put a condom on a man

I have given you the steps so try it... "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Confession: i have never put a condom on a man "

Snap! So no need to learn

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Stretch condom

Place "nipple" end up nostril

Inhale while keeping hold of the other end

Reach into gob & pull out nipple end

Stretch again & enjoy

*courtesy of the useless information department* "

Oh now there is an idea.... I need volunteers...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"Who didn't squeeze the air bubble out

how do u do that .. show me please ??"

Pay attention then so it doesn't explode !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol


"Who didn't squeeze the air bubble out

how do u do that .. show me please ??

Pay attention then so it doesn't explode ! "

gulp !! .. that wud knock me tonsils skyward .. im all ears !!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"Confession: i have never put a condom on a man

Neither have I "

Not even yourself?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Bananas and cucumbers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"Who didn't squeeze the air bubble out

how do u do that .. show me please ??

Pay attention then so it doesn't explode !

gulp !! .. that wud knock me tonsils skyward .. im all ears !! "

Always handy to have summit to hold on to

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"Anyone tried putting one on whilst also giving a blowjob at the same time?

Seen that done in porn plenty of times but never met anyone that could / would do it.

do we get a gold star if we say we can ??

Absolutely! "

Can I have a gold star please, have occasionally put them on with my mouth

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Bananas and cucumbers "

only you femme only you...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Anyone tried putting one on whilst also giving a blowjob at the same time?

Seen that done in porn plenty of times but never met anyone that could / would do it.

do we get a gold star if we say we can ??

Absolutely!

Can I have a gold star please, have occasionally put them on with my mouth "

Do you teach the art??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Misscheeky, you got the last bit wrong regarding taking them off. The loose bit on the end of a condom gets quite pliable when warm (remember it's full of spunk and has been in a nice warm place) so it tends to elongate (that's stretch for you plebites ok) which makes taking the condom off far easier than putting it on as all you have to do it put your foot on it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Bananas and cucumbers

only you femme only you... "

A brain fart nothing more

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"Anyone tried putting one on whilst also giving a blowjob at the same time?

Seen that done in porn plenty of times but never met anyone that could / would do it.

do we get a gold star if we say we can ??

Absolutely!

Can I have a gold star please, have occasionally put them on with my mouth

Do you teach the art?? "

For a small fee...

Don't report me as a working girl, I'm only joking, will do it for chocolate

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once had a woman put a condom on me using her mouth, an amazing experience

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"I once had a woman put a condom on me using her mouth, an amazing experience "

Nice arse...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I once had a woman put a condom on me using her mouth, an amazing experience

Nice arse... "

Lol, why thank you!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"I once had a woman put a condom on me using her mouth, an amazing experience

Nice arse...

Lol, why thank you! "

No worries...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Condom..

Step 1. get the willy nice and hard So a bit of wanking or sucking...

Step 2.. Unwrap the condom and place the condom on the willy making sure the teat bit is facing upwards...

Step 3 Roll down the condom so the end is reaching the bottom of the willy.. remember if you have a small willy use a condom to match yor size and the same if you have a rather big one..

Step 4 enjoy the experience you are faced with.. When that is done and dusted and not before one minute..

Step 5 Hold the base of the willy and take off the condom...

Condoms prevents letters from the CSA and dieases where you have to sit there answering embrassing questions from a nurse thinking WTF...!!

"

Another example of theory and practice being two wholly different things !

After years of not engaging in penetrative sex with non-regular patrtners (because condoms 'cut me in two'), thanks to these forums, I eventually found some that actually fitted me comfortably.

Hooray you may all think, but oh no, I think they are in the most awkward protective packaging ever invented - I am sure they do it on purpose !

I don't know whether it was the excitement of the moment or not, but the first time I went to use one for anything other than a posh wank, it took me a good 10 minutes to get the thing out of the fkin packaging !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Condom..

Step 1. get the willy nice and hard So a bit of wanking or sucking...

Step 2.. Unwrap the condom and place the condom on the willy making sure the teat bit is facing upwards...

Step 3 Roll down the condom so the end is reaching the bottom of the willy.. remember if you have a small willy use a condom to match yor size and the same if you have a rather big one..

Step 4 enjoy the experience you are faced with.. When that is done and dusted and not before one minute..

Step 5 Hold the base of the willy and take off the condom...

Condoms prevents letters from the CSA and dieases where you have to sit there answering embrassing questions from a nurse thinking WTF...!!

Another example of theory and practice being two wholly different things !

After years of not engaging in penetrative sex with non-regular patrtners (because condoms 'cut me in two'), thanks to these forums, I eventually found some that actually fitted me comfortably.

Hooray you may all think, but oh no, I think they are in the most awkward protective packaging ever invented - I am sure they do it on purpose !

I don't know whether it was the excitement of the moment or not, but the first time I went to use one for anything other than a posh wank, it took me a good 10 minutes to get the thing out of the fkin packaging ! "

Awwww bussy I am sorry that you feel that way about condoms...May I suggest you try cling film or a iffy bag as an alternative...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?

Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?

If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?

When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.

They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?

Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?

If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?

When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.

They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters"

I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?

Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?

If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?

When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.

They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters

I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over... "

Gulp. Ewwww, you didnt just say that did you?

I suggest you drink it ya sick puppy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?

Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?

If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?

When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.

They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters

I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over...

Gulp. Ewwww, you didnt just say that did you?

I suggest you drink it ya sick puppy"

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww no way!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?

Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?

If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?

When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.

They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters

I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over...

Gulp. Ewwww, you didnt just say that did you?

I suggest you drink it ya sick puppy

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww no way!!! "

Well then. Stick it in ya Crimbo Bailey's, you'll never know

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?

Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?

If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?

When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.

They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters

I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over...

Gulp. Ewwww, you didnt just say that did you?

I suggest you drink it ya sick puppy

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww no way!!!

Well then. Stick it in ya Crimbo Bailey's, you'll never know"

I'll stick it in yours...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I once had a woman put a condom on me using her mouth, an amazing experience "

.... that's my party trick.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?

Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?

If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?

When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.

They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters

I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over...

Gulp. Ewwww, you didnt just say that did you?

I suggest you drink it ya sick puppy

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww no way!!!

Well then. Stick it in ya Crimbo Bailey's, you'll never know"

I once had a request to send a used condom to someone thru the post so he could drink the contents.

I did consider sending one filled with cottage cheese with a note saying I'd send another once the infection had cleared up.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?

Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?

If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?

When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.

They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters

I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over...

Gulp. Ewwww, you didnt just say that did you?

I suggest you drink it ya sick puppy

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww no way!!!

Well then. Stick it in ya Crimbo Bailey's, you'll never know

I once had a request to send a used condom to someone thru the post so he could drink the contents.

I did consider sending one filled with cottage cheese with a note saying I'd send another once the infection had cleared up. "

I've just poked out my own eyes so I never have to read this again!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?

Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?

If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?

When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.

They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters

I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over...

Gulp. Ewwww, you didnt just say that did you?

I suggest you drink it ya sick puppy

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww no way!!!

Well then. Stick it in ya Crimbo Bailey's, you'll never know

I'll stick it in yours... "

You wont ya kinky devil. Besides, it would stand out a mile in my jacks n

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Chops - Where do you put the used condom once its full of jizz?

Not as daft as it sounds, wont the bin smell if it goes in there?

If it's an open bin, other may find it, or if ya mate bring's her dog around ,what if it sniffs it out, pulls it out the bin and runs round with it like some kind of long lost toy, what then if it starts shaking it like a rat?

When I first started doing sex, I used to ride to this girls house on my bike, fuck, cycle home and just lob the condom somewhere on the way home.

They are akward to dispose of and Im not sticking it in my recycling bin, it would be the only thing in their for starters

I suggest that you drink the contents and reuse the condom over and over...

Gulp. Ewwww, you didnt just say that did you?

I suggest you drink it ya sick puppy

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww no way!!!

Well then. Stick it in ya Crimbo Bailey's, you'll never know

I once had a request to send a used condom to someone thru the post so he could drink the contents.

I did consider sending one filled with cottage cheese with a note saying I'd send another once the infection had cleared up. "

How funny would that of been? Good luck asking for ya money back on this one, yeah go on, take it to Watchdog

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top