FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Depression advice

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have a friend diagnosed depressed. She has a lot on her plate now moving and changing jobs. She refuses to take meds and wants to be left alone. She just sits at home worrying and crying. Should I respect her wishes and leave her? or take her out and at least distract her and offer a shoulder?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A friend doesn't leave a friend. Hang around, help out where you can, keep an eye on them

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

having also suffered from depression for years its good to know someone is there for you. I would suggest going round and seeing her even if you just stop in with her sometimes its good to just have some company. I have great friends who know to bear with me when im really low and will try to take me out but sometimes you just want a friendly hug and to know your not alone.

Christmas is a tough time of year for people too maybe a small trip out to somewhere away from the hustle and bustle might be a good idea just talk to her and dont push her into anything.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Just be there to talk to her, don't force her to take her meds as that will only make her reject them more.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Just be there as a friend, there are times that she will want to be left alone.. Give her a call ask her if she wants to go out for a coffee... Most of all listen it maybe that she has no one to talk to regarding the issues that are making her feel depressed..

As far a medication some people don't want to take anti depressants for their own reasons.. Her GP should be able to refer her for some councilling if needed..

It is difficult to know what to do with someone that suffers from depressions as they are in their own world and often a bleak one.. Good luck there are various charities set up but maybe give your local MIND office a call for advice they are trained in knowing how to deal with those that have depression and other MH issues..

Good luck hope your friend gets better soon..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's very hard. My mum has depression, and agoraphobia. I can understand people who won't take medication for it, some don't like to think they are dependant on tablets, luckily for my mum she took them and got a lot better, she still has off days. Just be there for her, encourage her but don't try and force her,pshe will only resent you otherwise. Good luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

From my own experience, there are times when you really do just want to be on your own and then others when you say you do. Sometimes just sitting with someone even if she doesnt acknowledge you are there. Sometimes it really is baby steps. Maybe take her for a walk to the end of the street or maybe to go for a coffee.

Or sometimes maybe encourage her to have a nice shower.

You sound like a lovely friend

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

From my own experience, there are times when you really do just want to be on your own and then others when you say you do. Sometimes just sitting with someone even if she doesnt acknowledge you are there. Sometimes it really is baby steps. Maybe take her for a walk to the end of the street or maybe to go for a coffee.

Or sometimes maybe encourage her to have a nice shower.

You sound like a lovely friend

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I just don't wanna be pushy and make her worse, depression is so common I also believe a lot of us are and don't now we are.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just don't wanna be pushy and make her worse, depression is so common I also believe a lot of us are and don't now we are."

I agree, i didn't think i was until my wife pestered me into talking to my Dr, now i'm on some meds feel much much better!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

Hats off to you for not just taking the easy option and ignoring her problems

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a friend diagnosed depressed. She has a lot on her plate now moving and changing jobs. She refuses to take meds and wants to be left alone. She just sits at home worrying and crying. Should I respect her wishes and leave her? or take her out and at least distract her and offer a shoulder?"

go round and fuck her, see if that helps x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a friend diagnosed depressed. She has a lot on her plate now moving and changing jobs. She refuses to take meds and wants to be left alone. She just sits at home worrying and crying. Should I respect her wishes and leave her? or take her out and at least distract her and offer a shoulder?

go round and fuck her, see if that helps x"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon


"I have a friend diagnosed depressed. She has a lot on her plate now moving and changing jobs. She refuses to take meds and wants to be left alone. She just sits at home worrying and crying. Should I respect her wishes and leave her? or take her out and at least distract her and offer a shoulder?

go round and fuck her, see if that helps x"

I like to think I've got a pretty good sense of humour but that was just unnecessary really

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a friend diagnosed depressed. She has a lot on her plate now moving and changing jobs. She refuses to take meds and wants to be left alone. She just sits at home worrying and crying. Should I respect her wishes and leave her? or take her out and at least distract her and offer a shoulder?

go round and fuck her, see if that helps x

I like to think I've got a pretty good sense of humour but that was just unnecessary really "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have a friend diagnosed depressed. She has a lot on her plate now moving and changing jobs. She refuses to take meds and wants to be left alone. She just sits at home worrying and crying. Should I respect her wishes and leave her? or take her out and at least distract her and offer a shoulder?

go round and fuck her, see if that helps x"

Every herd has a jack ass!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ahhh chris peacock show sum respect man.... depression is an awful thing...unless uve had it its hard to understand but thats defo not the rite answer! u wud be better keeping that stupid comment to urself!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a friend diagnosed depressed. She has a lot on her plate now moving and changing jobs. She refuses to take meds and wants to be left alone. She just sits at home worrying and crying. Should I respect her wishes and leave her? or take her out and at least distract her and offer a shoulder?

go round and fuck her, see if that helps x"

Ignore this twat.

Maybe see if she'll book another drs appointment and go with her for support? That way you can discuss the pros and cons of meds/counselling with her.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *H.coupleCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I have a friend diagnosed depressed. She has a lot on her plate now moving and changing jobs. She refuses to take meds and wants to be left alone. She just sits at home worrying and crying. Should I respect her wishes and leave her? or take her out and at least distract her and offer a shoulder?

go round and fuck her, see if that helps x"

Wowsers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well I just sent her a text to let her know I am here for her day or night. Thanks guys I just didnt want to appear pushy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've suffered with depression since I was 12 and it's not at all easy to deal with depending on the cause for it.

All I can suggest is support and maybe going with them or getting them at least to see a pchologist, someone on the outside to talk to.

I also find drawing and writing how I feel helps alot.

I've not had many issues for about 5 years now but still have the occasional off day

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Medically steer her towards eventually seeing a psychotherapist and take anti depressents further on if neccessary, but help her do the research. Anti depressent medications really developmental but mixed with the therapy there is only a 26% relapse rate.. Without it goes to the late fifties percentile wise.. Aside from that put yourself in her shoes. Think what youd want if you felt self loathing and regret amongst self pity and anxiety

Its a marathon sort of thing so try not to overwhelm her and allow her space to breath but remind her things can go her way. Maybe try and help her find good moments instead of making them for her

Good luck man; youre a good guy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been through it myself recently. The tablets do help. Also the support of family and friends too. My employer has been good too as it was work related. Now helping someone else through it just by listening and being there for them. I hope your friend is soon feeling better

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Moving jobs and moving... Huge change.

All the best to your friend and with good friends like you... Already a step along to improved health

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Changing jobs*

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I disagree do try and get her out but in non pushy way. Do helpful things for her cos everything gets on top of u even solving a mini problem for her will be a big thing and help. U do just wanna be alone and in but its the worst thing for depression in my experience. If theres any way u can engage her go for it. But just being there is cool too. Bipolar all my life til 3 yrs ago. Now i take mood stabilisess which fuck my memory and blunt my emotions and r addictive... But they work and anythings better than being badly depressed. She sounds quite bad to me its nice she has u

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suffer with depression...I take anti depressants too. A friend of mine put taking pills into context for me but I don't know if it will help, but she said, if you have a headache, do you take tablets to feel better? Yes. Thats all they are for, to make you feel better.

You are a really sound guy and one day your friend will realise this and be so thankful to you.

Like the others said, just stick around and be there for her.

Good luck xxxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tarkersandcrutchCouple
over a year ago

TELFORD

I (shaz) has suffered with this and still struggle sometimes. I used to upset the people closets, they loved me un conditionally and are thankfully they are still in my life, some days I wanted to lock myself away and not speak, other days I could run away and hope no one would find me I didn't know what to do, just seemed to upset everyone around me found it easier to distance myself, I thought that if I did that it would be easier, only made things worse because I pushed away the people that really cared. I realised I needed help so gave in and went to the doctors, best thing I did. think your friend needs to know your there no matter what and perhaps like me will find her own way, just be there when she needs you xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a friend diagnosed depressed. She has a lot on her plate now moving and changing jobs. She refuses to take meds and wants to be left alone. She just sits at home worrying and crying. Should I respect her wishes and leave her? or take her out and at least distract her and offer a shoulder?"

A difficult one and what ever you do will have an element of the wrong thing. What I would do is keep in regular content and try to put a positive spin on taking the meds. I don't think you will win on this one so do the best for your friends safety and hopefully she will appreciate it in the months to come.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depression is just a state of mind..excepting and coming to terms you have a problem is the dificult thing..its like being stood on the edge of a spiral and before you realise youve jumped onto it and heading down..its the early triggers she needs to learn and understand..it makes the difference between a down day to an endless cycle of bleak darkness..try to get her into something to keep her mind active and not dwell...if you can get your head around its just a state of mind it does work..it isn't a cure but a coping strategy...drugs generally just mask the issue.....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a friend diagnosed depressed. She has a lot on her plate now moving and changing jobs. She refuses to take meds and wants to be left alone. She just sits at home worrying and crying. Should I respect her wishes and leave her? or take her out and at least distract her and offer a shoulder?"

Your friend is somewhere between crying the problem away and maybe doing damage to herself. I've lived my life with crushing depression but can't take the mediaction because of a birth defect that can be fatal.

1.) If she doesn't want the medication, she wants to wake up, not drug herself up. Tell her to go to the doctor and ask to see a counsellor. They won't make it go away but they will teach her how to make it manageable and more importantly to be able to express herself better and to try harder at the things she wants to do with her life.

2.) Even if you can't get her out of the house, try once or twice a week, even if it's just for a half hour walk or a little shopping trip etc. The little things add up to a big deal

3.) Failing that, pay her a visit a few times. See if you can bring her out of her shell enough to want to eat or watch a film.

4.) Drinking is not advisable but she is safe with a few drinks once a week or fortnight if she is feeling better

5.) Give her someone to talk to about anything and don't try to solve her problems for her. Get her to see that she needs to tackle it herself.

6.) Look up St John's Wort. It's the most reliable herbal remedy for depression, more than prozac. The tincture is best. After a week she'll feel a vast improvement.

7.) Get her to see her doctor about her thyroid. Mine was fucked since birth and it is the sole cause of my depression as of this year.

Need to ask me anything, feel free to message me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Despite what people say, she doesn't need to take the meds.

They are made of a fluoride compound, what the Nazi's used in the water in WWII to keep the population dumb and obedient. It has the same effect, it quells the hard feelings but does not stop the morbid thoughts.

If she decides to go without, she will have to wait a few months for counselling as it is in high demand but she will benefit from it infinitely.

Drugs is not really the way forward if the problem is psychological!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It could be painful, but one needs to get to the root cause. Give her a shoulder to cry on and maybe suggest she gets some counselling.Try to let her know you are there for her anytime she needs to talk.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A while back I had some hypnosis done. I think the correct term is neuro-linguistic programming. This was more to help with a loss of confidence but the therapist who did it, took time to get my back ground. I was positive about the idea of hypnosis, and may have been very receptive to it, but after one session I felt much lighter and younger. It made me realize how much crap I was carrying a round in my head.

I had always thought I had a touch of depression before but the difference this made was huge. People I work with noticed a difference immediately. I too would have been adverse to drugs.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having been there like many others, the advice has already been given. So I won't ad. More to it. Good luck my friend, I am sure any help you give will be a godsend to her.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a friend diagnosed depressed. She has a lot on her plate now moving and changing jobs. She refuses to take meds and wants to be left alone. She just sits at home worrying and crying. Should I respect her wishes and leave her? or take her out and at least distract her and offer a shoulder?

Your friend is somewhere between crying the problem away and maybe doing damage to herself. I've lived my life with crushing depression but can't take the mediaction because of a birth defect that can be fatal.

1.) If she doesn't want the medication, she wants to wake up, not drug herself up. Tell her to go to the doctor and ask to see a counsellor. They won't make it go away but they will teach her how to make it manageable and more importantly to be able to express herself better and to try harder at the things she wants to do with her life.

2.) Even if you can't get her out of the house, try once or twice a week, even if it's just for a half hour walk or a little shopping trip etc. The little things add up to a big deal

3.) Failing that, pay her a visit a few times. See if you can bring her out of her shell enough to want to eat or watch a film.

4.) Drinking is not advisable but she is safe with a few drinks once a week or fortnight if she is feeling better

5.) Give her someone to talk to about anything and don't try to solve her problems for her. Get her to see that she needs to tackle it herself.

6.) Look up St John's Wort. It's the most reliable herbal remedy for depression, more than prozac. The tincture is best. After a week she'll feel a vast improvement.

7.) Get her to see her doctor about her thyroid. Mine was fucked since birth and it is the sole cause of my depression as of this year.

Need to ask me anything, feel free to message me"

Just a small point which may or may not make any difference, but you can't take St. Johns Wort with birth control pills as they won't work

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top