FabSwingers.com forum: Should it…?

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

If you’re planning on meeting someone, you like them, they like you, there’s mutual attraction and all boxes are ticked, should it matter who they also meet? If so, why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope, none of my business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Technically no. Unless they're meeting your mum or something

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By *museBouche31Woman
over a year ago

Reigate

Yes, because then I might be able to network with the other hot people they’ve met previously ;p

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Technically no. Unless they're meeting your mum or something

Good point, hadn't thought of that.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Only matters if it's at the same time

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Well I don't think everyone on the site is a swinger.

So if it matters to them, that's fair enough. There could be a myriad of reasons. I don't think imposing who someone can and can't meet is a good idea but I also can understand why some are mindful/cautious about meeting other people. It's not quite as black and white as no or yes.

If it did matter to me, I wouldn't stop someone. I'd just step back because it's my thing and not fair (such a rubbish word but my brain power is fading) to stop people enjoying meeting other people.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Nope it's only a mutual attraction not marriage but even then would still be allowed to meet anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably not but not keen on meeting people who are meeting lots of others.

I'm not a swinger!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure if the question is about WHO they are meeting or the fact that they're meeting at all.

For me it doesn't matter who it is but I kinda feel a bit weird if we've been chatting loads and they haven't mentioned they were gonna meet someone. I tend to chat at a level where we chat daily which includes the standard "what's your plans" so if they didn't mention it I'd wonder why.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

For me it doesn't matter who they meet or if they meet other people. I expect it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What matters to me is only what matters to me its the only yhing i control until i dont

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By *undance_KidMan
over a year ago

London

Depends if you’ve agreed to be ‘exclusive’ or not.

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

It doesn’t matter to me, but I’ve certainly seen quite a few profiles that say that they ‘don’t share’ so I’m guessing it matters to them, or rather, it doesn’t matter who anyone else is you might meet, they just don’t want you meeting anyone else.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Yes it matters to me.

I've no intention of being dragged into other people's drama and if one of my playmates decided to get involved with a Drama Llama then yes I'd step back/walk away.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

It shouldn’t but it can do.

People like to think they are important, and when you meet others it can dent/bruise ego’s as you realise that they do not view you the same way you view them.

People talk/gossip, and so private items can become more widely known.

Some people are bigger risk takers, e.g. not getting tested at all let alone regularly, so you could expose yourself to unnecessary risks.

Some people just don’t like some others on fab, and so by extension won’t see people that have seen them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It matters to some

It doesn’t matter to some

There are lots on here who like to gossip

Live and let live

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Yeah. Sometimes matters to me. But that doesn’t really matter to anyone else as I keep my feelings and reasons to myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If their other meets are regular bareback gangbangs then absolutely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a swinging website and apparently we are all swingers. But we are not all swingers.

It sometimes does matter, just because I have feelings that we have a hard time grasping.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Yes it matters. The bitchiness and back stabbing is rife on here. I've been dragged into drama before just for having a coffee with someone so I have a list of people that if they have met, I avoid at all cost because I'm too old to be playing childish games x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of these answers might explain hiding verifications….

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I really dont care, I'm just grateful for the attention.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just woke up

Coffee Coffee Coffee

To sleepy to care at the zzzzzzzz

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By *ixieAndHerKingCouple
over a year ago

Debauchery

"Yes it matters to me.

I've no intention of being dragged into other people's drama and if one of my playmates decided to get involved with a Drama Llama then yes I'd step back/walk away."

This ^^

It doesn't mean I'd never meet that person, I'd just not allow myself to get emotionally involved in anyway

Cherry x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I have just remembered a guy we were meeting regularly years ago who told us of an experience he'd had the weekend before which caused us to stop seeing him. Then there was a couple we met who we stopped seeing after we discovered their 'other' profile with very different activities described to the one we'd met them from. So I'm changing my original answer to, sometimes it does matter, it depends on the circumstances.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

" I have just remembered a guy we were meeting regularly years ago who told us of an experience he'd had the weekend before which caused us to stop seeing him. Then there was a couple we met who we stopped seeing after we discovered their 'other' profile with very different activities described to the one we'd met them from. So I'm changing my original answer to, sometimes it does matter, it depends on the circumstances."

I’m curious as to how that reflects on the person you’d met and surely if you’d met the couple, then you were also connected?

If it’s a certain type of play that you don’t enjoy but you didn’t involve that at all in any meets, I don’t see how it caused you to walk away?

Sometimes I think that people on here get too involved and judgemental of others connections, when those connections have no relevance at all

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I’m curious as to how that reflects on the person you’d met and surely if you’d met the couple, then you were also connected?

If it’s a certain type of play that you don’t enjoy but you didn’t involve that at all in any meets, I don’t see how it caused you to walk away?

Sometimes I think that people on here get too involved and judgemental of others connections, when those connections have no relevance at all"

You're quite right that I was judgemental. It wasn't so much that they were meeting others it was the nature of the activities, their attitudes to the people involved and in both cases the fact that they'd misrepresented themselves. That caused me to change my opinion of them.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

In an ideal world it shouldn't matter ....

But alas...

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I’m curious as to how that reflects on the person you’d met and surely if you’d met the couple, then you were also connected?

If it’s a certain type of play that you don’t enjoy but you didn’t involve that at all in any meets, I don’t see how it caused you to walk away?

Sometimes I think that people on here get too involved and judgemental of others connections, when those connections have no relevance at all"

How can you say what is relevant to a person though Tea? What is relevant to me may not be relevant to you? From what I read on these forum there’s an awful lot that is irrelevant to some but would be relevant to me. We all judge. I judge. I just don’t tend to do it publicly.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Not for me.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Yes it sometimes matters to me because of all the background drama and bullshite that goes on and there are quite a few that if they find out you have even spoken to someone they meet they go on the attack and spread all sort of lies and rumours about you. Even contacting you off their fake profiles. They think they yield power on here especially if they are 'popular' on here they think they control who is on fab and who people meet on here. So yes for that reason it does matter who someone meets and if I see a veri from these people I stay away cos I can't be bothered with the drama.

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By *weetCruellaWoman
over a year ago

somewhere sweet and sour

This is why I tend to meet at clubs now. Unless I've met them at a club then it's very very rare I'll meet them outside.

Many people at Kestrels/Abfabs are on here, but if I don't wish to stay in contact, I don't mention I'm on fab.

But it makes no difference if people have met others... my biggest worry is having to ask when they last had a sexual health check up and having to trust what they say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes it sometimes matters to me because of all the background drama and bullshite that goes on and there are quite a few that if they find out you have even spoken to someone they meet they go on the attack and spread all sort of lies and rumours about you. Even contacting you off their fake profiles. They think they yield power on here especially if they are 'popular' on here they think they control who is on fab and who people meet on here. So yes for that reason it does matter who someone meets and if I see a veri from these people I stay away cos I can't be bothered with the drama. "

I had similar issues a few years ago. I think it's a shame to not meet someone you're attracted to just because of a previous meet. Keeping veri's hidden must help to a certain extent? Also not talking about meets to other meets. I really really hate the word "meet", gives me the ick...

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

It matters to us as we wouldn’t want to meet anyone who had played with friends or family members etc…

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

None of us should get a say in how others make decisions about who they get involved with

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I’m curious as to how that reflects on the person you’d met and surely if you’d met the couple, then you were also connected?

If it’s a certain type of play that you don’t enjoy but you didn’t involve that at all in any meets, I don’t see how it caused you to walk away?

Sometimes I think that people on here get too involved and judgemental of others connections, when those connections have no relevance at all

I absolutely understand that and yes, we all have differing values and what is important. I’m asking why these things matter though.

I also find it strange how people are so ready and willing to judge others without understanding or context.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I’m curious as to how that reflects on the person you’d met and surely if you’d met the couple, then you were also connected?

If it’s a certain type of play that you don’t enjoy but you didn’t involve that at all in any meets, I don’t see how it caused you to walk away?

Sometimes I think that people on here get too involved and judgemental of others connections, when those connections have no relevance at all

I can see how the deception would give you pause. Is it any different from someone having profiles on different sites looking for different things though?

I’m not having a go at you by the way, I’m curious and trying to look at things in a different way

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I’m curious as to how that reflects on the person you’d met and surely if you’d met the couple, then you were also connected?

If it’s a certain type of play that you don’t enjoy but you didn’t involve that at all in any meets, I don’t see how it caused you to walk away?

Sometimes I think that people on here get too involved and judgemental of others connections, when those connections have no relevance at all

I can see how the deception would give you pause. Is it any different from someone having profiles on different sites looking for different things though?

I’m not having a go at you by the way, I’m curious and trying to look at things in a different way "

I understand that you're discussing not criticising

I don't claim to be rational in my reasoning when it comes to things like this and you make a good point about it not being any different to looking for different things on different sites. I don't think humans are rational when it comes to sex and emotions though. I can change my mind about a man purely because he gets a funny look on his face fir goodness sake!

I can only say that I would like to think that I take each person as I find them in my swinging relationships *when they are with me* but on closer examination of my thoughts and actions I really don't. It's not logical or rational given the nature of swinging but here we are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’re planning on meeting someone, you like them, they like you, there’s mutual attraction and all boxes are ticked, should it matter who they also meet? If so, why? "

Nope we all have a past and that’s where it should stay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’re planning on meeting someone, you like them, they like you, there’s mutual attraction and all boxes are ticked, should it matter who they also meet? If so, why? "

No, people judge people by who they have met based purely on peoples pics. I meet people based on the connection I have with them, so if that person was not to someone else’s taste then that’s their problem and not mine.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

No not at all had one this week say he only sees one fwb at a time I told him I dont expect that or indeed promise that myself x

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Some people will judge you from the people you have met.

That’s why we don’t show many people we’ve played with…it’s no one else’s business.

We aren’t here to be drama llama’s or get involved in anyone else’s business. We are here to have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It matters to me, hence why I only meet people with no veris showing.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Doesn't matter to me, but years ago, I had someone block me because I had a veri from someone I chatted to in a club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m curious as to how that reflects on the person you’d met and surely if you’d met the couple, then you were also connected?

If it’s a certain type of play that you don’t enjoy but you didn’t involve that at all in any meets, I don’t see how it caused you to walk away?

Sometimes I think that people on here get too involved and judgemental of others connections, when those connections have no relevance at all"

I am very judgemental of other people and their past. I don't see why their connections have no relevance to me.

Otherwise I should just fuck whoever asks and have no say in it.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I’m curious as to how that reflects on the person you’d met and surely if you’d met the couple, then you were also connected?

If it’s a certain type of play that you don’t enjoy but you didn’t involve that at all in any meets, I don’t see how it caused you to walk away?

Sometimes I think that people on here get too involved and judgemental of others connections, when those connections have no relevance at all

I absolutely understand that and yes, we all have differing values and what is important. I’m asking why these things matter though.

I also find it strange how people are so ready and willing to judge others without understanding or context. "

I think Tea (and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing!) you’re one of those people who likes a reason for everything. I’m not really. We had this over me preferring straight men over bi men and I think we actually fell out over it one time!

Hypothetically- he messages me - I know he’s met her - I know she’s into bareback gangbangs - I’ll choose not to meet him. Simple really. Even if I’ve heard she’s into bareback gangbangs and I don’t know for sure I still won’t meet him. Judging or not that’s still my choice/my body and it doesn’t really matter to anyone else why I might think that way.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

It matters to me because I'm nosy

In all seriousness though, nah, I've never really been bothered, I'm glad those that I've met have been having fun...swinging is about sharing sexy time.

The main downside is the drama that can come from verifications causing injury to peoples egos, but that's entirely on the twunts that cause the drama, nothing to do with the verifications themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had arranged a first social with a man for the next day but a short time later updated our status to say we were visiting a club that evening and he lost the plot.

Proper jealous hissy fit.

It obviously mattered to him.

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