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How would you bump someone off?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We are talking in work about Miss Marple type murder mysteries and how you would bump someone off.

What would be your MO?

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"We are talking in work about Miss Marple type murder mysteries and how you would bump someone off.

What would be your MO? "
Death by 6" stiletto heel in the head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id killing them in the drawing room with a lead pipe

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Are we talking hypothetically or ones you have done?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Death by copious amounts of pork sword impaling in the nether regions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are we talking hypothetically or ones you have done?"

You are not allowed to include unsuccessful attempts

I made it out, just

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I would lure them into a library. Stuff their mouth full of donuts (plain ones) so they didn't disturb the nerds. Then I would whisper but with a menacing expression "On Guard !" Before running them through with a telescopic sword

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley


"id killing them in the drawing room with a lead pipe "

What and then tat in pipe to get rid of murder weapon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me personally I'd say death by:

Diamond smiles aka Mafia Queen

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Are we talking hypothetically or ones you have done?"

either/or, but would suggest you keep the details of the real ones vague to avoid prosecution

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

from a distance...and crush them with my fingers n thumb

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

with a bullet, dagger or other weapon made of ice so there are no forensics by the time the CSI team arrive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Death by chocolate.

mmmmmmmm......cake!

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

With an icicle in a stabbing motion.

Or over the head with a frozen rump steak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Death by power-point presentation.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"Are we talking hypothetically or ones you have done?

You are not allowed to include unsuccessful attempts

I made it out, just "

Ah! The one that got away. *sigh*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With a frozen leg of lamb, Roald Dahl style

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By *ubbly2012Woman
over a year ago

inver somewhere

Clobber them on the head with a frozen leg of lamb then cook the lamb and eat for dinner....no evidence......lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Death by chocolate.

mmmmmmmm......cake! "

Now where's that blindfold

Oh and Ryan I need to borrow your hanky please

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"Death by power-point presentation. "

I've certainly seen a few in my time that made my eyes bleed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'd use a Black Mamba snake in a case full of money... Worked in Kill Bill 2. I'd want the money back after though

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By *ubbly2012Woman
over a year ago

inver somewhere


"With a frozen leg of lamb, Roald Dahl style "

Omg....both of us posted that at same time.....creepy.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lock them in a room and play any thing by simply red on loop until they kill themselves! I dont like getting my hands dirty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lock them in a room and play any thing by simply red on loop until they kill themselves! I dont like getting my hands dirty "

Brill I can sing to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"With a frozen leg of lamb, Roald Dahl style

Omg....both of us posted that at same time.....creepy....."

Maybe we should become a killing double act!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pick a really nerdy boring subject and go on and on and on.......by which time they'd die of boredom!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Long range with a high powered rifle and frangable ammunition.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Lock them in a room and play any thing by simply red on loop until they kill themselves! I dont like getting my hands dirty "

Something got you started

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Long range with a high powered rifle and frangable ammunition."

Scared

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Death by power-point presentation.

I've certainly seen a few in my time that made my eyes bleed."

Yep its cruel way to go.... after the first 3 graphs you just lose the will to live…

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"With a frozen leg of lamb, Roald Dahl style "

Ah yes! Cook the evidence and feed it to the murder investigators! Cunning!

This also works if you smother someone with a large bag of midget gems then hand them out at the crime scene.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

deep vaginal asphyxia

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"Death by power-point presentation.

I've certainly seen a few in my time that made my eyes bleed.

Yep its cruel way to go.... after the first 3 graphs you just lose the will to live… "

Yes especially if they fly in from the edge of the screen with a swoosh sound effect.

*twitches nervously*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"With a frozen leg of lamb, Roald Dahl style

Ah yes! Cook the evidence and feed it to the murder investigators! Cunning!

This also works if you smother someone with a large bag of midget gems then hand them out at the crime scene. "

not sure I could resist eating the midget gems before the murder though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd pay Mafia Queen to do it..... .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Death by industrial meat mincer ....

Make Tescos Value Lasagne taste so much better

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By *acandJulesCouple
over a year ago

Stockton on Tees

[Removed by poster at 14/11/12 13:46:06]

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ohhhhhh what a wonderful thread.

I would like to slowly peel all their skin off.

Hang them upside down by a meat hook and slit their throat.

Im sure i will have other ideas before the afternoon is out

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By *acandJulesCouple
over a year ago

Stockton on Tees

I would feed them any kind of Asda "Smart Price" food, enough of that crap would kill anybody.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Clingfilm and a very sharp knife...*note to self..watching too much Dexter*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A silencer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if theres a nearby natural disaster etc happened..simply transport the given corpse to that scene...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if theres a nearby natural disaster etc happened..simply transport the given corpse to that scene..."

You might get rumbled dumping a burnt, stabbed and mutilated with an angle grinder corpse in a flood!

Better to take the "Brick Top" approach and get yourself some pigs!

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By *iverview1Couple
over a year ago

gourock

Buy a frozen chicken from tesco, defrost it freeze it again defrost it, half cook it then freeze it again, then cook and serve.

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By *reenonionsMan
over a year ago

Nr Exeter


"We are talking in work about Miss Marple type murder mysteries and how you would bump someone off.

What would be your MO? "

Well, I wouldn't want to establish a modus operandi as it would be a one off but maybe hire an escort to shag the victim and use a condom with a glucose coated alkaloid poison in the tip or in the lube on the inside of the condom.

Absorbed into the body through the penis in the way aids finds a way in.

Using an escort is usually a discreet matter ensuring the assailant would be unknown leaving a verdict of murder by poisoning by person or persons unknown.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I allow BlondeTaz free rein then I have absolutely no responsibility for the "User no longer on site" posts we often see on threads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if theres a nearby natural disaster etc happened..simply transport the given corpse to that scene...

You might get rumbled dumping a burnt, stabbed and mutilated with an angle grinder corpse in a flood!

Better to take the "Brick Top" approach and get yourself some pigs! "

no way am polluting my bacon with humany bits

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Buy a frozen chicken from tesco, defrost it freeze it again defrost it, half cook it then freeze it again, then cook and serve. "
or you could just batter em with said frozen one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i`d use one of my rather nasty spells that do cause death, of which i know a good few

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I allow BlondeTaz free rein then I have absolutely no responsibility for the "User no longer on site" posts we often see on threads "

There's so few members left on site in Cumbria these days!!

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"I allow BlondeTaz free rein then I have absolutely no responsibility for the "User no longer on site" posts we often see on threads

There's so few members left on site in Cumbria these days!! "

I'm spreading my wings from God's own county into Lancashire and Yorkshire...it's only a matter of time before I move further south...

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I allow BlondeTaz free rein then I have absolutely no responsibility for the "User no longer on site" posts we often see on threads

There's so few members left on site in Cumbria these days!!

I'm spreading my wings from God's own county into Lancashire and Yorkshire...it's only a matter of time before I move further south... "
Your not in gods own county until you hit Yorkshire...thought everyone knew that...i may have been brainwashed though...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"from a distance...and crush them with my fingers n thumb"
i like your style

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fly swatter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Long range with a high powered rifle and frangable ammunition.

Scared "

Don't be. I have the rifles (legally) but frangable ammunition isn't available in .338 calibre...lol

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Long range with a high powered rifle and frangable ammunition.

Scared

Don't be. I have the rifles (legally) but frangable ammunition isn't available in .338 calibre...lol"
Do they do flangable ones?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Long range with a high powered rifle and frangable ammunition.

Scared

Don't be. I have the rifles (legally) but frangable ammunition isn't available in .338 calibre...lolDo they do flangable ones? "

flange bullets? Ain't that a tampon

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Long range with a high powered rifle and frangable ammunition.

Scared

Don't be. I have the rifles (legally) but frangable ammunition isn't available in .338 calibre...lolDo they do flangable ones?

flange bullets? Ain't that a tampon "
Surely thats no good for the weapon?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

As I have got older and my balls saggier, I reckon i could teabag someone to death

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Are we talking hypothetically or ones you have done?

either/or, but would suggest you keep the details of the real ones vague to avoid prosecution "

Ahhhh but her I'd take to a church tower and subject to repeated playing of one song with only one escape route!

It'sssssssss...

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By *edonism44Man
over a year ago

oldham

Icicle then the evidence simply melts

Piece of glass thrown into water becomes invisible

Kill them very very very slowly by making them watch episodes if MIRANDA back to back .... Yeah sick I know x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Long range with a high powered rifle and frangable ammunition.

Scared

Don't be. I have the rifles (legally) but frangable ammunition isn't available in .338 calibre...lolDo they do flangable ones? "

You have to understand, I am also a musician I actually own a device called a Flanger!...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would have to be death by Jaffa cake

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