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Stay at home mum or out to work??

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By *g99 OP   Couple
over a year ago

s

Something I've got to consider soon, at the moment I am a stay at home mum, graham works away a lot and earns enough for me to stay at home, I enjoy looking after the kids , my eldest has just started school, youngest is 2. Now I find it very hard work especially being on my own when graham works away for long periods..

But in the new year graham will be changing jobs and we are moving house, so after that iwas thinking about going into work.

Now there was something on tv the other week, and 2 women where arguing there cases, stay at home mum or go out to work?

Do you think it's wrong that so many women don't work and decide to stay at home? Fortunately we don't have to rely on benefits, and I know some women are forced to stay at home because they cannot afford child care.

Just wondere what other people's opinions on the subject are?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't afford not to work my kids are 6 and 3

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I think whatever is best for the child, you and & the family. I think staying at home is ideal if you can afford to and then maybe get something once they go to school. Nursery is great for kids to socialise them with other children.

all the best whatever you decide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's great if women or men can be stay at home parents if they can afford to do it and if that's what they want to do.

It's the stay at home parents that can't afford to do so and could work round their kids if they really wanted to but choose not to and instead claim benefits that I strongly disagree with.

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By *ike 1978Man
over a year ago

kettering / Enfield

my wife stays at home and does housework and cooking ect this is her share instead of working. it is something that works out well for the both of us

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By *ike 1978Man
over a year ago

kettering / Enfield

[Removed by poster at 14/11/12 09:37:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think whatever is best for the child, you and & the family. I think staying at home is ideal if you can afford to and then maybe get something once they go to school. Nursery is great for kids to socialise them with other children.

all the best whatever you decide."

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By *g99 OP   Couple
over a year ago

s

I do enjoy staying at home, but sometimes feel like I've lost my identity, because I had children young I didn't really get to do the thing people my age have done. So I think a job would be a start to making new friends etc

My youngest is getting to the age where I think nursery would be really good for her. So I think it's the best route to go down.

We're lucky that Graham's job did pay so well, with his new job he will be taking a big pay cut but well still be living well and I think it's about time I got my ass out into the big bad world lol

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"I do enjoy staying at home, but sometimes feel like I've lost my identity, because I had children young I didn't really get to do the thing people my age have done. So I think a job would be a start to making new friends etc

My youngest is getting to the age where I think nursery would be really good for her. So I think it's the best route to go down.

We're lucky that Graham's job did pay so well, with his new job he will be taking a big pay cut but well still be living well and I think it's about time I got my ass out into the big bad world lol

"

a part time job sounds ideal, maybe in the evenings when your partner is home.

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have always wanted to work and know that staying at home long term is not for me.

I stayed at home for 2 years after the birth of both of my children. I then worked part time, did some shift work and when the youngest reached 13 I went back to work full time.

Family life has always worked out well and the children have never been left on their own, or had to come in from school and cook their own meals etc.

I could never be a stay at home mum, I am too career minded to feel properly stimulated just by home life alone. I also need quite stressful jobs and a nice easy workload has never really appealed to me.

I also like being able to afford to buy my children things they want and be able to take them on holiday. I know that possessions dont equal caring, but I feel comfortable knowing they dont go without and I like providing that for them.

If either of the children hadnt been happy with my working arrangements then I would of course have had to give up work. They are the most important, but I know that they are properly nurtured and cared for and are not showing any detrimental signs of me being a working mum.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

I think that you need to do what ever makes you happy

Maybe a part time job or something working from home so you can stimulate your mind and do something for yourself rather than being a mum all the time.

Whatever you decide to do

Be Happy

Sam

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think whatever is best for the child, you and & the family. I think staying at home is ideal if you can afford to and then maybe get something once they go to school. Nursery is great for kids to socialise them with other children.

all the best whatever you decide."

When my daughter was born, my missus said she wouldn't go to work until the babe was at infant school. We could just about afford to survive on my wage alone. Daughter eventually went to nursery and then infant school. Missus took a job as a lunch-time kitchen help at the infant school, helped to make ends meet plus gave her peace of mind about our girl's well being. She did that for about a year then moved on into other part-time jobs, which she still does. Do whatever you and your husband feels right. After all, you need your happiness and peace of mind too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a stay at home mom I have 16 yr old girl diabetic 15 yr son ADHD 13 yr daughter diabetic 8 yr son ADHD n autism 7 yr old daughter global learning skills 6 yr daughter cp 5 yr son in heaven 4 yr son and 2 yr son

Hubby works as dairy farmer works 76 hrs a week as every other weekend off live very rural I don't drive nothing but fields

But wouldn't change looking after the kids for the world

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

I'm a firm believer in staying at home. I realise that many mums have to work but we are fortunate enough to be comfortable without me working. I always had part time or voluntary jobs when the children were young though to keep me sane. It can drive you mad not having adult conversation, also you tend to talk about babies and kids 24/7 if there is little else in your day to day life!

After number three I did try going back to work when she was 9mths and my employers were very accommodating, gave me part time and then flexible hours. I ended up quitting though. Even though I only worked 3 days I was missing out on so much. It should have been me that saw her first steps, or gave her a cuddle when she hurt herself. I lasted 6 months and realised that those first few years are the most special and important, you can never get them back. You are the centre of their world till they start school.

Now she is in nursery class I have my mornings to myself and am getting itchy feet! I am looking forward to going back to work when she's in school full time but will never regret giving it up to be with her

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester


"I'm a stay at home mom I have 16 yr old girl diabetic 15 yr son ADHD 13 yr daughter diabetic 8 yr son ADHD n autism 7 yr old daughter global learning skills 6 yr daughter cp 5 yr son in heaven 4 yr son and 2 yr son

Hubby works as dairy farmer works 76 hrs a week as every other weekend off live very rural I don't drive nothing but fields

But wouldn't change looking after the kids for the world "

Wow! Do we should have had a mum of year award lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a stay at home mom I have 16 yr old girl diabetic 15 yr son ADHD 13 yr daughter diabetic 8 yr son ADHD n autism 7 yr old daughter global learning skills 6 yr daughter cp 5 yr son in heaven 4 yr son and 2 yr son

Hubby works as dairy farmer works 76 hrs a week as every other weekend off live very rural I don't drive nothing but fields

But wouldn't change looking after the kids for the world "

your situation is very different as you have a lot fo kids and kids with needs..

I dont see any harm in working part time.. i think its not only good for your soul but good example for your kids..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My kids are in school and nursery it's hard sending them off every day so I can work but it has to be that way or I can't work ! I spend most of my time with them so find it hard to get out lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No insatible 30 lol

Think I shud lol hubby gets in as t straight to sleep I basically do all on own but there rewarding xx

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By *kmale421Man
over a year ago

wirral

The short answer to the OP is do whatever makes you happy. My own case might help give you an idea though as it's similar to yours. First off, my kids are now aged 26 and 23 so you can see this was back in the late 80's early 90's.

We had our first child and at the same time moved away from the family base, a work promotion for me that gave me more earnings, so the new born was born into a place that we didn't know anything about. We were lucky in that I earnt enough money so that we could choose whether she worked or not, we jointly decided that she would be a housewife and Mother. 6 years later we had moved back to our family area and had a second child, when she went to see the Doctor. In short she'd begun to get depressed being locked in a world of children and school and the house all day every day, and while we did go out of an weekend, most of our friends had young kids too so the talk was often related to family stuff. The Doctor suggested that she went to night school to have a few hours away from the everyday family life, fortunately Sainsburys were opening a store a short way from where we lived and we agreed that she'd apply for part time evening work, just to give her the opportunity to mix with adults. She got the job working 3 evenings a week, so that I could look after the kids and hey presto that worked too and also gave her some extra money. As the kids got older, she took on more hours and different jobs and although she's now no longer with sainsburys, she's still employed, though we as a couple are no longer together.

Hope that helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do enjoy staying at home, but sometimes feel like I've lost my identity, because I had children young I didn't really get to do the thing people my age have done. So I think a job would be a start to making new friends etc

My youngest is getting to the age where I think nursery would be really good for her. So I think it's the best route to go down.

We're lucky that Graham's job did pay so well, with his new job he will be taking a big pay cut but well still be living well and I think it's about time I got my ass out into the big bad world lol

"
Do what makes you happy and maybe part time , Even going back to school . x

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester


"No insatible 30 lol

Think I shud lol hubby gets in as t straight to sleep I basically do all on own but there rewarding xx"

You're a star xx

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By *hybuthornydanMan
over a year ago

grays

I think that it is up to you as we know we have not long had twins and Emma was deciding on whether to go back to work but she has decided to work and she is liking it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No insatible 30 lol

Think I shud lol hubby gets in as t straight to sleep I basically do all on own but there rewarding xx

You're a star xx"

Thank u I just do wots needed son don't go to sleep Till 12.30 so av to be watchful then up at 4-5 am every morning so we are too xx

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By *g99 OP   Couple
over a year ago

s

I have been looking at goin into college ful time Aswell which is an option for me, but wouldn't be able to start until next September

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

I think if you can afford to NOT go out to work - I would suggest being at home for your youngster is the best option. You can go back to work when toddler is old enough to go to pre-school/playgroup/whatever.

If you don't *need* a job now - let someone else who might need it 'have' it (I don't know what line of business you are in).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would love to work even if it was just to be in adult company. The amount of hours that i would have to work to cover my carers allowance would be a lot. I have found out by going to inter_iews and once i mention that i would time off, what with school times, constant meetings, Dr's appointments at short notice. I get told "Sorry but not what we are looking for"

They say that people that have benefits find life cushy and in some cases i agree because they are far to readily given OUT.

I struggle everyday, i ask for nothing and try and sort it all out myself on what i do get.

But!! I guess that's another thread.

Like some have said on this thread they have to work to make ends meet, and I am sure what ever you decide to do at the time, the feeling will be right !! (Perky)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been looking at goin into college ful time Aswell which is an option for me, but wouldn't be able to start until next September "
well you can do learning at home too .? I think even with family you can still do alot .. xx Good luck what ever you do.

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By *g99 OP   Couple
over a year ago

s

Luckily I wil be able to go to college rather than stay at home, so I would get to meet new people, and it would be 3 days a week, so would still get the time with the kids that I want xx

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