FabSwingers.com forum: Why are some guys do flakey?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I see regularly guys in here moaning they don't get replies to messages and/or can't get a meet.

I both respond to messages when I'm interested and I message guys I'm interested in. I attended clubs regularly and open to meet quickly from that initial first message.

Recently all I've found is flakey guys. Want to meet, exchange numbers then they ignore messages about meeting up. It absolutely baffles me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

*so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The never ending question. Why do some members (female and as you have found men) Ghost people they appeared to be interested in?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The never ending question. Why do some members (female and as you have found men) Ghost people they appeared to be interested in?

Or go on a social, say they are interested in meeting again but never commit to a next meet but continue to text...

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Ask yourself whats the difference between the profiles of men you see being vocal about not getting messages or meets, and the profiles of the flakey men!

Typically one is more in demand than the other for a reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The never ending question. Why do some members (female and as you have found men) Ghost people they appeared to be interested in?

Or go on a social, say they are interested in meeting again but never commit to a next meet but continue to text...

I've had that as well!

If we were nearer and got on, I would want to see you again x

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Cadburys will make a fortune from them.

I'll get me coat.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ask yourself whats the difference between the profiles of men you see being vocal about not getting messages or meets, and the profiles of the flakey men!

Typically one is more in demand than the other for a reason."

The flakey ones aren't meeting other people though. I could absolutely get that if they were.

3 different guys. 3 socials. 2 wanted to meet up again but hasn't committed to it but still text. I've said he did then changed his mind (no issue) then indicated he did again so I text asking to meet and he ignored lol.

Baffles (not an issue because I don't struggle for meets) me as to why bother keeping in touch if you don't really want to meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ask yourself whats the difference between the profiles of men you see being vocal about not getting messages or meets, and the profiles of the flakey men!

Typically one is more in demand than the other for a reason.

The flakey ones aren't meeting other people though. I could absolutely get that if they were.

Baffles (not an issue because I don't struggle for meets) me as to why bother keeping in touch if you don't really want to meet."

I really need to check my spelling before posting lol

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Are you giving them something to wank over?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get this when I put up a very specific meet. Once I've found the "right" person I remove the post as im no longer looking. It is sooooo frustrating when people flake, ghost or do not show as it wastes my time, energy and effort. I am one of the small minority of females on here that offer strange, quirky, kinky meets so it's in people's best interests to keep the genuine kinksters on this site and not exclusively meeting in clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab is filled with lots of people who display odd behaviour (my personal opinion).

Be upfront. Be honest. Be respectful.

It’s not hard.

If I say I want to meet up with you, I will continue to talk and try to arrange that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see regularly guys in here moaning they don't get replies to messages and/or can't get a meet.

I both respond to messages when I'm interested and I message guys I'm interested in. I attended clubs regularly and open to meet quickly from that initial first message.

Recently all I've found is flakey guys. Want to meet, exchange numbers then they ignore messages about meeting up. It absolutely baffles me. "

Essexbutterfly there’s a conference happening at the Gateshead Hilton regarding anti flakey guys. Drop me a pm for further details.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe just cold feet

Or possibly not meaning to sound harsh,they’re putting on an act and don’t actually want to meet with you and all that entails.

Some people do play it like a numbers game but then reality sets in.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

There are lots of flaky people on here and not just in relation to meeting or not.

I've no interest in meeting quickly and my profile makes that very clear.

That means that a lot of chats fizzle out which is understandable but the level of flakiness, shallowness and need for validation is off the scale at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are lots of flaky people on here and not just in relation to meeting or not.

I've no interest in meeting quickly and my profile makes that very clear.

That means that a lot of chats fizzle out which is understandable but the level of flakiness, shallowness and need for validation is off the scale at times. "

Good point well made

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Ask yourself whats the difference between the profiles of men you see being vocal about not getting messages or meets, and the profiles of the flakey men!

Typically one is more in demand than the other for a reason.

The flakey ones aren't meeting other people though. I could absolutely get that if they were.

Baffles (not an issue because I don't struggle for meets) me as to why bother keeping in touch if you don't really want to meet."

There could be several reasons

1-cheating, hard to meet

2-Polysaturated, hard to fit you in

3-Likes you but feels you’re moving too fast and may be needy/demanding once you’ve had sex

There could be other reasons but those spring to mind

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are you giving them something to wank over?"

Nope, except my blinding personality lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe just cold feet

Or possibly not meaning to sound harsh,they’re putting on an act and don’t actually want to meet with you and all that entails.

Some people do play it like a numbers game but then reality sets in."

Not harsh at all I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea but if you've met me why keep saying you don't want to meet if you don't (I don't chase) or why swap numbers then ignore a text before meeting.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Here’s my theory

You pick the top tier guys for meets

These guys get lots of meet offers

They didn’t specifically flake on you, they just went with the better offer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here’s my theory

You pick the top tier guys for meets

These guys get lots of meet offers

They didn’t specifically flake on you, they just went with the better offer "

Oh yeh. Good point. Flaky is not when somebody has slipped you down their todo list. .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So a guy asked if we could meet. I said shall we swap numbers. He said yes. Numbers swapped. The next day I sent this. He ignored it lol.

Morning.

It's Sy from fab.

Do you fancy meeting today for a drink late afternoon/ early evening in Braintree?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Here’s my theory

You pick the top tier guys for meets

These guys get lots of meet offers

They didn’t specifically flake on you, they just went with the better offer "

Lol possible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have experienced plenty of guys who have met me for a social, ended well with a kiss and occasionally a little more, then drag the conversation on and on and on whilst quite skilfully avoiding any questions about meeting up. To the point where I have started removing them as friends after a week or so, and refused to engage in any naughty conversation. It’s not you OP just the way some people are xx (Rosie)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have experienced plenty of guys who have met me for a social, ended well with a kiss and occasionally a little more, then drag the conversation on and on and on whilst quite skilfully avoiding any questions about meeting up. To the point where I have started removing them as friends after a week or so, and refused to engage in any naughty conversation. It’s not you OP just the way some people are xx (Rosie) "

Then they pop up every now and then asking how things are wanting to meet lol

Maybe I need to get harsh and block lol. This is why I hate giving my number out. Back to kik I think, the devil's app lol.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"There are lots of flaky people on here and not just in relation to meeting or not.

I've no interest in meeting quickly and my profile makes that very clear.

That means that a lot of chats fizzle out which is understandable but the level of flakiness, shallowness and need for validation is off the scale at times. "

I find the same and I have one bloke who will message me every few months as if he's never message me before. Blocked this time. Don't do flakey.

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By *Cocksucker84Man
over a year ago

newcastle

"I see regularly guys in here moaning they don't get replies to messages and/or can't get a meet.

I both respond to messages when I'm interested and I message guys I'm interested in. I attended clubs regularly and open to meet quickly from that initial first message.

Recently all I've found is flakey guys. Want to meet, exchange numbers then they ignore messages about meeting up. It absolutely baffles me. "

As a guy with a preference for men there's definitely a lot of bravado that doesn't meet what they say they want. I reckon a lot come on here for a filthy chat and a wank with no intention of meeting despite what they say in private chats. I was in Leeds for a few days with work and got chatting to a guy who sounded perfect. Had to figure out how to sneak him into my hotel but he had good veris and was photo verified. Waited ages for him to turn up and lo-and-behold all my sent messages were deleted the next day and despite him being online after our agreed time my messages were left unread. Perhaps they're married when they say they aren't and aren't as free to meet as they say? Who knows?

It is frustrating at times though. Plenty of sex forums if that's what people are after.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see regularly guys in here moaning they don't get replies to messages and/or can't get a meet.

I both respond to messages when I'm interested and I message guys I'm interested in. I attended clubs regularly and open to meet quickly from that initial first message.

Recently all I've found is flakey guys. Want to meet, exchange numbers then they ignore messages about meeting up. It absolutely baffles me. "

I hope I don't come across as flakey!

My biggest issue is time. What with work, weekend dad and fitting in the sports days, football matches, training etc time is so precious.

However I do stay in contact and be open about times I can meet and stuff.

Especially as actually getting to meet a single women like yourself is sooo bloody difficult!!

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Same... And the guys I meet aren't "top tier" they're just regular guys. Lots I've had great socials with, arrange a meet, they either cancel or don't show and then nothing... Yet they are still active, no other veris... I think it's something we'll never understand!

I'd much rather people just said I wasn't what they were looking for.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What is meant by top tier out of interest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is meant by top tier out of interest. "

I’m in tiers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the past I have given out my number for a meet, then been ghosted.

Days later I start to receive calls regarding my recent accident?Or my bank account has seen suspicious activity please give my details so my money can be transferred as to be kept safe.

Needless to say I no longer give out my number.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"There are lots of flaky people on here and not just in relation to meeting or not.

I've no interest in meeting quickly and my profile makes that very clear.

That means that a lot of chats fizzle out which is understandable but the level of flakiness, shallowness and need for validation is off the scale at times.

I find the same and I have one bloke who will message me every few months as if he's never message me before. Blocked this time. Don't do flakey."

I've one woman who messages every six months to tell me I have an amazing profile and asks where I have been hiding and why hasn't she noticed me before?

I give my standard answer that I've been hiding in plain sight and that's the end of the conversation as she never replies again until she sends the same message 6 months later.

There are also a few women I've never spoken to who like to message and tell me how much they were looking forward to meeting at upcoming socials but on the night completely blank me and refuse to engage in conversation.

Several times during the evening I've overhead my name being used but that's as far as it goes.

They then message the following day to say they hadn't seen me at the event.

Coincidentally all of them are displaying multiple verifications from a male fabber who has been removed from numerous chatgroups for his predatory behaviour including following women home and who I have called out a number of times.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In the past I have given out my number for a meet, then been ghosted.

Days later I start to receive calls regarding my recent accident?Or my bank account has seen suspicious activity please give my details so my money can be transferred as to be kept safe.

Needless to say I no longer give out my number."

Ooooooh. I use to use kik but it's so clunky. Think I'll go back to it though.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"What is meant by top tier out of interest. "

I'm guessing the super fit, Vwe, 6 pack, 10 inch cock guys lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the past I have given out my number for a meet, then been ghosted.

Days later I start to receive calls regarding my recent accident?Or my bank account has seen suspicious activity please give my details so my money can be transferred as to be kept safe.

Needless to say I no longer give out my number.

Ooooooh. I use to use kik but it's so clunky. Think I'll go back to it though. "

for some reason kik won't work on my phone. but I see where your going it would be much safer, do you know of any similar apps that do not require your number?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is meant by top tier out of interest.

I'm guessing the super fit, Vwe, 6 pack, 10 inch cock guys lol "

dam those guys. ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not just blokes that are flakey. Women are as well, been let down a couple of times by no shows also chat for ages then poof nothing, I just think it human nature

It’s really hard on here to get a meet anyway, perhaps people get off on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is meant by top tier out of interest.

I'm guessing the super fit, Vwe, 6 pack, 10 inch cock guys lol "

And under fifty five

That’s me fucked on all counts then lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s not just blokes that are flakey. Women are as well, been let down a couple of times by no shows also chat for ages then poof nothing, I just think it human nature

It’s really hard on here to get a meet anyway, perhaps people get off on it "

Yup, no need to gender the debate - people are flakey, full stop. I've been the flakey one on occasion, I've suffered it to, from friends, family, meets and both sexes generally. Commitment, timekeeping, keeping your word, all increasingly hard in these modern times

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

He actually suggested "Braintree"???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you say flakey is that psoriasis type of flakey........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So a guy asked if we could meet. I said shall we swap numbers. He said yes. Numbers swapped. The next day I sent this. He ignored it lol.

Morning.

It's Sy from fab.

Do you fancy meeting today for a drink late afternoon/ early evening in Braintree?"

You lost me at Braintree!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He actually suggested "Braintree"???

Nope I did.

It's not far from him and I would have been passing through.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What is meant by top tier out of interest.

I'm guessing the super fit, Vwe, 6 pack, 10 inch cock guys lol "

Oh they definitely aren't that. They aren't my type

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see regularly guys in here moaning they don't get replies to messages and/or can't get a meet.

I both respond to messages when I'm interested and I message guys I'm interested in. I attended clubs regularly and open to meet quickly from that initial first message.

Recently all I've found is flakey guys. Want to meet, exchange numbers then they ignore messages about meeting up. It absolutely baffles me. "

It’s a free to enter recreational sex site which by it’s very nature Fab will, unfortunately, have more than it’s fair share of those with less than honourable intentions.

As for single chaps deserving of the flakey description there are, in my experience, quite a few of other fab members who are deserved too!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In the past I have given out my number for a meet, then been ghosted.

Days later I start to receive calls regarding my recent accident?Or my bank account has seen suspicious activity please give my details so my money can be transferred as to be kept safe.

Needless to say I no longer give out my number.

Ooooooh. I use to use kik but it's so clunky. Think I'll go back to it though.

for some reason kik won't work on my phone. but I see where your going it would be much safer, do you know of any similar apps that do not require your number?"

Telegram but no idea how that works lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It’s not just blokes that are flakey. Women are as well, been let down a couple of times by no shows also chat for ages then poof nothing, I just think it human nature

It’s really hard on here to get a meet anyway, perhaps people get off on it "

This is only aimed at men as that's who I try to meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the past I have given out my number for a meet, then been ghosted.

Days later I start to receive calls regarding my recent accident?Or my bank account has seen suspicious activity please give my details so my money can be transferred as to be kept safe.

Needless to say I no longer give out my number.

Ooooooh. I use to use kik but it's so clunky. Think I'll go back to it though.

for some reason kik won't work on my phone. but I see where your going it would be much safer, do you know of any similar apps that do not require your number?

Telegram but no idea how that works lol"

I have telegram but still need my number for others to contact me, also signal is the same, so it seems there's only kik but it will not work on my phone for some reason, but thanks for your reply.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I see regularly guys in here moaning they don't get replies to messages and/or can't get a meet.

I both respond to messages when I'm interested and I message guys I'm interested in. I attended clubs regularly and open to meet quickly from that initial first message.

Recently all I've found is flakey guys. Want to meet, exchange numbers then they ignore messages about meeting up. It absolutely baffles me.

It’s a free to enter recreational sex site which by it’s very nature Fab will, unfortunately, have more than it’s fair share of those with less than honourable intentions.

As for single chaps deserving of the flakey description there are, in my experience, quite a few of other fab members who are deserved too!"

I said some and like I say this post is aimed at some men because that's who I try to meet with and my experience. Feel free to discuss flakey women I don't have any experience there.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

"I see regularly guys in here moaning they don't get replies to messages and/or can't get a meet.

I both respond to messages when I'm interested and I message guys I'm interested in. I attended clubs regularly and open to meet quickly from that initial first message.

Recently all I've found is flakey guys. Want to meet, exchange numbers then they ignore messages about meeting up. It absolutely baffles me. "

I get exactly the same from women.

Yesterday I was supposed to meet someone. Took the day off. Text her phone to confirm and Rrnage a time and then nothing.

Just another in a long sad line if flakey women on here.

Makes me wonder if any of you are genuine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see regularly guys in here moaning they don't get replies to messages and/or can't get a meet.

I both respond to messages when I'm interested and I message guys I'm interested in. I attended clubs regularly and open to meet quickly from that initial first message.

Recently all I've found is flakey guys. Want to meet, exchange numbers then they ignore messages about meeting up. It absolutely baffles me.

It’s a free to enter recreational sex site which by it’s very nature Fab will, unfortunately, have more than it’s fair share of those with less than honourable intentions.

As for single chaps deserving of the flakey description there are, in my experience, quite a few of other fab members who are deserved too!

I said some and like I say this post is aimed at some men because that's who I try to meet with and my experience. Feel free to discuss flakey women I don't have any experience there. "

They reside on fab but I just move on!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I see regularly guys in here moaning they don't get replies to messages and/or can't get a meet.

I both respond to messages when I'm interested and I message guys I'm interested in. I attended clubs regularly and open to meet quickly from that initial first message.

Recently all I've found is flakey guys. Want to meet, exchange numbers then they ignore messages about meeting up. It absolutely baffles me.

I get exactly the same from women.

Yesterday I was supposed to meet someone. Took the day off. Text her phone to confirm and Rrnage a time and then nothing.

Just another in a long sad line if flakey women on here.

Makes me wonder if any of you are genuine.

Of course some are. You can't assume they aren't because of a few.

That's annoying. I'd be super annoyed with that but I always make sure I have a back up plan so I'll take a book etc and just enjoy the time to myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been stood up this morning. Took the day off for nothing. No reply or message to say I'm not coming. Why do it?.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No excuse for it really. Not like the footy is on to watch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been stood up this morning. Took the day off for nothing. No reply or message to say I'm not coming. Why do it?."

It happens all to often. my latest was last week (not a couple from Ascot by the chance?)

If you look at their profile, there is the option to report. click that scroll down and theres a 'no show' option. click that and block them move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then they pop up every now and then asking how things are wanting to meet lol

Maybe I need to get harsh and block lol. This is why I hate giving my number out. Back to kik I think, the devil's app lol. "

Where conversation goes to die

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been stood up this morning. Took the day off for nothing. No reply or message to say I'm not coming. Why do it?."

Someone once took the p’as out of me for taking time from work and having this happen.

It’s a tough pill to swallow pal, but you were good for your word, they weren’t.

I’ll never forget the guy who posted it was my fault for trusting someone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been stood up this morning. Took the day off for nothing. No reply or message to say I'm not coming. Why do it?."

Lucky that's not happened to me yet but that's very frustrating. Not acceptable at all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Then they pop up every now and then asking how things are wanting to meet lol

Maybe I need to get harsh and block lol. This is why I hate giving my number out. Back to kik I think, the devil's app lol.

Where conversation goes to die

Exactly lol which is why I moved away from it

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"I see regularly guys in here moaning they don't get replies to messages and/or can't get a meet.

I both respond to messages when I'm interested and I message guys I'm interested in. I attended clubs regularly and open to meet quickly from that initial first message.

Recently all I've found is flakey guys. Want to meet, exchange numbers then they ignore messages about meeting up. It absolutely baffles me. "

I guarantee they'll all have an excuse as well. They'll likely be whiny and I'd be annoyed at them before mocking them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I see regularly guys in here moaning they don't get replies to messages and/or can't get a meet.

I both respond to messages when I'm interested and I message guys I'm interested in. I attended clubs regularly and open to meet quickly from that initial first message.

Recently all I've found is flakey guys. Want to meet, exchange numbers then they ignore messages about meeting up. It absolutely baffles me.

I guarantee they'll all have an excuse as well. They'll likely be whiny and I'd be annoyed at them before mocking them.

I don't chase so I rarely hear the excuses lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then they pop up every now and then asking how things are wanting to meet lol

Maybe I need to get harsh and block lol. This is why I hate giving my number out. Back to kik I think, the devil's app lol.

Where conversation goes to die

Exactly lol which is why I moved away from it"

Kik, hubby, and I have a very turbulent relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll get over it. Gives me a day off to get stuff done .

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By *entative_steps7781Couple
over a year ago

Home

"Here’s my theory

You pick the top tier guys for meets

These guys get lots of meet offers

They didn’t specifically flake on you, they just went with the better offer

Oh yeh. Good point. Flaky is not when somebody has slipped you down their todo list. .

I definitely think this has happened with me and a few guys I have been chatting to! No hard feelings, just dislike it when they make up reasons why they are flaky as opposed to being honest and saying that they don't feel it anymore.

MJ x

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Here’s my theory

You pick the top tier guys for meets

These guys get lots of meet offers

They didn’t specifically flake on you, they just went with the better offer

Oh yeh. Good point. Flaky is not when somebody has slipped you down their todo list. .

MJ x"

That’s how I see it. How else do you explain it?

Most men on here are unable to get meets, you see posts on the forums daily

At the same time, most women and couples composing about how hard it is to get a guy to show up. They flake out most of the time.

Doesn’t make sense does it? How can no guys get meets, but so many women complain about no shows?

Unless you have a small group of guys at the top getting the majority of the meets. So many that they can pick and choose the best ones and flake the rest

I’m not a detective

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"In the past I have given out my number for a meet, then been ghosted.

Days later I start to receive calls regarding my recent accident?Or my bank account has seen suspicious activity please give my details so my money can be transferred as to be kept safe.

Needless to say I no longer give out my number.

Ooooooh. I use to use kik but it's so clunky. Think I'll go back to it though. "

Telegram is better. Join us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Same... And the guys I meet aren't "top tier" they're just regular guys. Lots I've had great socials with, arrange a meet, they either cancel or don't show and then nothing... Yet they are still active, no other veris... I think it's something we'll never understand!

I'd much rather people just said I wasn't what they were looking for. "

I think on Fab, being "normal" is top tier. Being able to converse confidently and not come across as arrogant, desperate, rude, entitled or just wierd and you're in the top 5% straight away.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I'd much rather people just said I wasn't what they were looking for.

I think on Fab, being "normal" is top tier. Being able to converse confidently and not come across as arrogant, desperate, rude, entitled or just wierd and you're in the top 5% straight away.

Mr"

I tend to agree!

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I think that there is an line of proportional ‘flakey ness’ related to how quickly a person wants or expects to meet.

If you’re anticipating that someone who is available NOW, is going to tick all of the boxes and not just be a fantasist, then that might be asking a bit much.

Real people have real demands on their time and it can be difficult to get diaries aligned.

Personally I play a longer game and plan for the future, that helps with ing out the fantasists and flakey folks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do the flakey du du du du

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think that there is an line of proportional ‘flakey ness’ related to how quickly a person wants or expects to meet.

If you’re anticipating that someone who is available NOW, is going to tick all of the boxes and not just be a fantasist, then that might be asking a bit much.

Real people have real demands on their time and it can be difficult to get diaries aligned.

Personally I play a longer game and plan for the future, that helps with ing out the fantasists and flakey folks"

I like to meet within a week or so if schedules allow it. No point chatting forever if you're not compatible in person.

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Usually South, Currently North

People are much flakier after lockdown I’ve found.

At the last bukkake meet I organised the three no-shows had over 20 verifications between them.

I now don’t give out my number until we’ve met (kik only), don’t add as friends until after we’ve met, and pretty much will only meet solo with guys I’ve met as part of a group meet. Saves having my afternoon wasted.

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By *entative_steps7781Couple
over a year ago

Home

"I think that there is an line of proportional ‘flakey ness’ related to how quickly a person wants or expects to meet.

If you’re anticipating that someone who is available NOW, is going to tick all of the boxes and not just be a fantasist, then that might be asking a bit much.

Real people have real demands on their time and it can be difficult to get diaries aligned.

Personally I play a longer game and plan for the future, that helps with ing out the fantasists and flakey folks"

Definitely in with the longer game, I need to plan in advance, and often am not able to do quick meets, so I will say to a guy that I am wanting to meet, let me know what dates work for you (or even give them specific dates that I am free) and the general response has been let me look and then they don't come back with dates that they can do, despite them saying they are up for a meet (whether it's me as a solo or me and S as a couple)

MJ x

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By *vanabeusedTV/TS
over a year ago

somewhere

Had one today . Just cause I’m not meeting them doesn’t mean I’m not meeting anyone . As if an outburst will endear you to them ?

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

"I think that there is an line of proportional ‘flakey ness’ related to how quickly a person wants or expects to meet.

If you’re anticipating that someone who is available NOW, is going to tick all of the boxes and not just be a fantasist, then that might be asking a bit much.

Real people have real demands on their time and it can be difficult to get diaries aligned.

Personally I play a longer game and plan for the future, that helps with ing out the fantasists and flakey folks

MJ x"

I can do meets pretty much any time (I love working from home!).

But I would (mostly) only do that with people I've chatted and met with (I.e. who I feel are reliable/genuine).

But in fairness, I've not really encountered any problems.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I think that there is an line of proportional ‘flakey ness’ related to how quickly a person wants or expects to meet.

If you’re anticipating that someone who is available NOW, is going to tick all of the boxes and not just be a fantasist, then that might be asking a bit much.

Real people have real demands on their time and it can be difficult to get diaries aligned.

Personally I play a longer game and plan for the future, that helps with ing out the fantasists and flakey folks

I like to meet within a week or so if schedules allow it. No point chatting forever if you're not compatible in person. "

I understand that but I think that I’ve only ever started talking to someone and met within a week on a handful of occasions in nine years and those were flukes of circumstance.

Perhaps that’s the issue, you’re pushing too fast and people are flaking as a result, maybe?

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I think that there is an line of proportional ‘flakey ness’ related to how quickly a person wants or expects to meet.

If you’re anticipating that someone who is available NOW, is going to tick all of the boxes and not just be a fantasist, then that might be asking a bit much.

Real people have real demands on their time and it can be difficult to get diaries aligned.

Personally I play a longer game and plan for the future, that helps with ing out the fantasists and flakey folks

MJ x"

There’s a level of honesty and openness required in this that many aren’t willing to give.

It should be simple to find dates and times!

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I like to meet within a week or so if schedules allow it. No point chatting forever if you're not compatible in person.

I understand that but I think that I’ve only ever started talking to someone and met within a week on a handful of occasions in nine years and those were flukes of circumstance.

Perhaps that’s the issue, you’re pushing too fast and people are flaking as a result, maybe? "

But they could at least say there's the reason. People can ask for more time, everyone should go at their own pace.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I like to meet within a week or so if schedules allow it. No point chatting forever if you're not compatible in person.

I understand that but I think that I’ve only ever started talking to someone and met within a week on a handful of occasions in nine years and those were flukes of circumstance.

Perhaps that’s the issue, you’re pushing too fast and people are flaking as a result, maybe?

But they could at least say there's the reason. People can ask for more time, everyone should go at their own pace."

I agree. That level of honesty is rare on here though.

If the positions were reversed and it was a guy asking for a meet within a week, most women would cut and run without giving a reason

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I like to meet within a week or so if schedules allow it. No point chatting forever if you're not compatible in person.

I understand that but I think that I’ve only ever started talking to someone and met within a week on a handful of occasions in nine years and those were flukes of circumstance.

Perhaps that’s the issue, you’re pushing too fast and people are flaking as a result, maybe?

But they could at least say there's the reason. People can ask for more time, everyone should go at their own pace.

I agree. That level of honesty is rare on here though.

If the positions were reversed and it was a guy asking for a meet within a week, most women would cut and run without giving a reason "

I don't think so, I'd be quite happy with that. I don't like endless chatting. As long as there's a social first it's all good. My last 3 meets have all been within a week or 2 of first contact.

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

But they could at least say there's the reason. People can ask for more time, everyone should go at their own pace.

I agree. That level of honesty is rare on here though.

If the positions were reversed and it was a guy asking for a meet within a week, most women would cut and run without giving a reason

There does seem to be generally (not particularly pointing at the OP here!

) an expectation that the guys should be willing to jump when told, and ask how high on the way up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let's be honest, if this was a guy saying this he would be told in no uncertain terms that a woman is allowed to change her mind, doesn't owe him a repeat meet (or even any meet) and if it keeps happening to him perhaps he should examine his own behaviour.

Now I'm not saying that the OP is at fault, just amused by the difference in response when a woman complains of struggling to get a meet compared to a man. I'm sure I'll now get a barrage of posts explaining why the situation is different but hey ho.

Some people, male and female, have no issues getting meets and enjoy their time on Fab. Others don't. For those who don't, if they're male it's because they have too many dick pics/have an attitude problem/don't put in enough effort/must do better etc. If they're female, it's because the men on here are flakey/rude/arseholes

I think Fab should put this statement in their FAQ section and save a lot of confusion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see regularly guys in here moaning they don't get replies to messages and/or can't get a meet.

I both respond to messages when I'm interested and I message guys I'm interested in. I attended clubs regularly and open to meet quickly from that initial first message.

Recently all I've found is flakey guys. Want to meet, exchange numbers then they ignore messages about meeting up. It absolutely baffles me. "

Easy for you to say

Like most women/ladies/girls (or whatever a person identify as) you’re inundated with messages, and always whining, but genuine non flakey guys do get ignored, blocked etc

The struggle is real but stay fab

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is brilliant. My first name and shame.

Arranged a social today. He cancelled.

He suggested coming round mine tonight.

I declined and said he wasn't for me.

Him.

New profile. No veris

Me old profile. Multiple veris.

His status avoid me because I'm a time waster.

Lol. Phew lucky escape for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think that there is an line of proportional ‘flakey ness’ related to how quickly a person wants or expects to meet.

If you’re anticipating that someone who is available NOW, is going to tick all of the boxes and not just be a fantasist, then that might be asking a bit much.

Real people have real demands on their time and it can be difficult to get diaries aligned.

Personally I play a longer game and plan for the future, that helps with ing out the fantasists and flakey folks

I like to meet within a week or so if schedules allow it. No point chatting forever if you're not compatible in person.

I understand that but I think that I’ve only ever started talking to someone and met within a week on a handful of occasions in nine years and those were flukes of circumstance.

Perhaps that’s the issue, you’re pushing too fast and people are flaking as a result, maybe? "

I'm not pushy at all. It's them suggesting a meet mostb of the time and I'll ask when is good for them. They can also say no that's not convenient to my suggestion and offer an alternative rather than ignore. That's generally called a conversation lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I like to meet within a week or so if schedules allow it. No point chatting forever if you're not compatible in person.

I understand that but I think that I’ve only ever started talking to someone and met within a week on a handful of occasions in nine years and those were flukes of circumstance.

Perhaps that’s the issue, you’re pushing too fast and people are flaking as a result, maybe?

But they could at least say there's the reason. People can ask for more time, everyone should go at their own pace.

I agree. That level of honesty is rare on here though.

If the positions were reversed and it was a guy asking for a meet within a week, most women would cut and run without giving a reason

I don't think so, I'd be quite happy with that. I don't like endless chatting. As long as there's a social first it's all good. My last 3 meets have all been within a week or 2 of first contact."

Same. If I had availability I'd love that lol

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"This is brilliant. My first name and shame.

Arranged a social today. He cancelled.

He suggested coming round mine tonight.

I declined and said he wasn't for me.

Him.

New profile. No veris

Me old profile. Multiple veris.

His status avoid me because I'm a time waster.

Lol. Phew lucky escape for me. "

What a dick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is brilliant. My first name and shame.

Arranged a social today. He cancelled.

He suggested coming round mine tonight.

I declined and said he wasn't for me.

Him.

New profile. No veris

Me old profile. Multiple veris.

His status avoid me because I'm a time waster.

Lol. Phew lucky escape for me. "

Updates in Essex not great

Hope you enjoyed you’re hols by the way do read the updates

Think weirdest one was sex for twenty cigs

Any wonder I quit smoking lol

Still vaping

Have lovely day all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I see regularly guys in here moaning they don't get replies to messages and/or can't get a meet.

I both respond to messages when I'm interested and I message guys I'm interested in. I attended clubs regularly and open to meet quickly from that initial first message.

Recently all I've found is flakey guys. Want to meet, exchange numbers then they ignore messages about meeting up. It absolutely baffles me.

Easy for you to say

Like most women/ladies/girls (or whatever a person identify as) you’re inundated with messages, and always whining, but genuine non flakey guys do get ignored, blocked etc

The struggle is real but stay fab

My inbox isn't overflowing lol

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Let's be honest, if this was a guy saying this he would be told in no uncertain terms that a woman is allowed to change her mind, doesn't owe him a repeat meet (or even any meet) and if it keeps happening to him perhaps he should examine his own behaviour.

I think Fab should put this statement in their FAQ section and save a lot of confusion.

Mr"

I agree with this completely. I've already said on this thread that there are a ridiculous amount of flaky women on here also and I don't say that to tar everyone with the same brush as the vast majority that I have spoken to over the years have been down to earth and approachable.

Unfortunately there are too many who believe they are immune to criticism and recently there have been comments from some on various threads bemoaning the words and actions of men they have chatted to but my experience with these women is that they are guilty of doing exactly what they accuse others of doing and the nature of fab is that their word is sacrosanct.

I don't know the op so this has nothing whatsoever to do with her and I'm speaking generally.

I've always been of the opinion here that if you have one negative experience that's pretty normal for a site such as this but if you are repeatedly having negative experiences it's time to look at the common denominator.

More often than not it's your own approach and attitude and how you choose to vet those you chat to.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think Fab should put this statement in their FAQ section and save a lot of confusion.

Mr"

No not at all. I think it's absolutely fine to change your mind but let the person know. Also don't keep popping up then ghosting. Then popping back again. Sex is irrelevant to this point.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is brilliant. My first name and shame.

Arranged a social today. He cancelled.

He suggested coming round mine tonight.

I declined and said he wasn't for me.

Him.

New profile. No veris

Me old profile. Multiple veris.

His status avoid me because I'm a time waster.

Lol. Phew lucky escape for me.

What a dick. "

It's my first name and shame. I feel like I've made it now lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think Fab should put this statement in their FAQ section and save a lot of confusion.

I don't know the op so this has nothing whatsoever to do with her and I'm speaking generally.

More often than not it's your own approach and attitude and how you choose to vet those you chat to.

I thought I was pretty picky but I do belive in giving those without veris etc the benefit of the doubt sometimes because we all have to start somewhere but maybe I need to be a bit harsher lol.

I don't have bad experiences often to be fair but there's been a couple in the last week so I'm a bit meh.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I think Fab should put this statement in their FAQ section and save a lot of confusion.

No not at all. I think it's absolutely fine to change your mind but let the person know. Also don't keep popping up then ghosting. Then popping back again. Sex is irrelevant to this point."

I agree. As I’ve also said; that level of clarity, honesty and openness is sadly lost on many.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think Fab should put this statement in their FAQ section and save a lot of confusion.

No not at all. I think it's absolutely fine to change your mind but let the person know. Also don't keep popping up then ghosting. Then popping back again. Sex is irrelevant to this point."

That's fair.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

More often than not it's your own approach and attitude and how you choose to vet those you chat to.

Not sure what else we're supposed to do though?!

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

More often than not it's your own approach and attitude and how you choose to vet those you chat to.

Not sure what else we're supposed to do though?! "

I've never had a no show in 5 years here and never been one and that's because I don't meet quickly. That works for me because it's not about numbers and I've said no to meets more often than I've said yes.

I don't have solutions for anyone else because not everyone uses the site in the same way.

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