FabSwingers.com forum: Is there a protocol on who should send a face pic first

By *verage Couple Next Door OP Couple
over a year ago

Essex, South East

We were messaged recently by a couple whom had only just joined Fabs and had no photos on there profile, public or private although they are shown as being ‘photo verified’.

We exchanged a few messages and had agreed a social meet.

However we do like to swap face pics to make sure there is an initial attraction.

We have been ‘Catfished’ before so on asking them to send a face pic we were met with you send first and we’ll reciprocate.

After politely telling them that as they aren’t verified and had contacted us first we would reciprocate on receiving theirs first. We haven’t heard from them since.

Are we being unreasonable?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't say you were being being unreasonable no, just stick to what ever you're happy doing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way I see it is that if I initiate a conversation and message first then I’ll send a face pic first, and likewise if people message me first but then say “can you send a face pic” without first sending theirs I’ll tend to refuse. It’s happened a few times, like because I’m the single male then I should jump through their hoops even though they messaged me.

I guess if it’s part of an ongoing conversation, and you’ve both been talking for a while it’s who finally buckles and asks / wants a face pic first that should send first, in my humble opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The way I see it is that if I initiate a conversation and message first then I’ll send a face pic first, and likewise if people message me first but then say “can you send a face pic” without first sending theirs I’ll tend to refuse. It’s happened a few times, like because I’m the single male then I should jump through their hoops even though they messaged me.

So.. what I guess I’m saying is if we’d been talking for a bit and you asked to see mine first I’d do as that couple did and say “you first”.

But your profile.. your rules

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No you're not being unreasonable and neither are they. You asked for something important to you, they don't want to do it. Impasse

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

No I don't think you are, I would never msg someone first and ask for a face pic without sending mine first.

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By *erriman69Couple
over a year ago

highworth

You shouldn't feel that you have to share face pics with anyone. Even if they've sent those pics to you.

We say clearly on our profile that we don't share face pics. .lots of people send us theirs... we never reciprocate!! Far too many people out there with dodgy motives.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We were messaged recently by a couple whom had only just joined Fabs and had no photos on there profile, public or private although they are shown as being ‘photo verified’.

We exchanged a few messages and had agreed a social meet.

However we do like to swap face pics to make sure there is an initial attraction.

We have been ‘Catfished’ before so on asking them to send a face pic we were met with you send first and we’ll reciprocate.

After politely telling them that as they aren’t verified and had contacted us first we would reciprocate on receiving theirs first. We haven’t heard from them since.

Are we being unreasonable? "

I think it's reasonable, for example if I'm talking to a single female I'll send a face pic to make her feel at ease so she knows she is not talking to a crazy person especially because I have no meeting veris only cam verified

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

You're not unreasonable. I think we form our rules based on experience and what seems right and works.

The great unknown, those with less stability to their claims, will typically be faced with being expected to stump up more, as part of becoming established. When we're committed to something, it is of little matter, even if it frustrates. We're in it for the longer term, so it's a necessary evil.

Conversely, fly by nights etc, will seek to avoid closer scrutiny, potentially not wanting much of a trail.

This couple may be the most ** genuine ** people that exist in the universe

they are perhaps a little green, etc. I do usually ask anyone requesting a face pic, to send theirs first - so I need to be careful of being a paidup hypocrite - but I think most established people here would probably do the same as you OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll send a pic once I know I like a guy enough, if he's sent me one or not beforehand isn't an issue.

If I have doubts over sending a pic I wouldn't even be talking to them.

We aren't in a playground.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Why would you agree to a social meet before seeing a picture if it's important you see them first?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll send a pic once I know I like a guy enough, if he's sent me one or not beforehand isn't an issue.

If I have doubts over sending a pic I wouldn't even be talking to them.

We aren't in a playground. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she already has a face pic up and I message her, then I will attach one. Otherwise I only send one if we are seriously considering a meet, or we have chatted a lot and she is curious..I don't send many..

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

There is no right or wrong way to do it, its what you feel comfortable doing.

I would have likely done the same if they had no public photos and/or veris.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We were messaged recently by a couple whom had only just joined Fabs and had no photos on there profile, public or private although they are shown as being ‘photo verified’.

We exchanged a few messages and had agreed a social meet.

However we do like to swap face pics to make sure there is an initial attraction.

We have been ‘Catfished’ before so on asking them to send a face pic we were met with you send first and we’ll reciprocate.

After politely telling them that as they aren’t verified and had contacted us first we would reciprocate on receiving theirs first. We haven’t heard from them since.

Are we being unreasonable?

How will she know you're not a crazy person just by looking at your face?

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

How will she know you're not a crazy person just by looking at your face? "

I just make sure I’ve taken the pencils out of my nostrils and the underpants off my head first.

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By *ackandsashaCouple
over a year ago

West Dublin

To be honest a profile with zero pics is a big turn off for us and is unlikely to interest us. We were recently chatting to a couple who had one ( nice ) pic up. He seemed nice, but then he asked me for more pics. We have 21 public pics up, to his one. When I pointed that out, and not in an abusive manner, he told me to fuck off and blocked us.

But I digress, lol. We now don't mind sending face pics but only after chatting a bit, and getting a feel for the other couple. Usually we ask if we send a pic will you reciprocate. Genuine couples often send one back in their reply.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I think you were right. They contacted you so really they should go first with face pics.

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By *lue_eyed_boy200Man
over a year ago

kent

Whoever messages first choice send a face pic with initial message, or am I being mental?

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Nope not at all

I always think whoever messages first should send the face pic.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"We were messaged recently by a couple whom had only just joined Fabs and had no photos on there profile, public or private although they are shown as being ‘photo verified’.

We exchanged a few messages and had agreed a social meet.

However we do like to swap face pics to make sure there is an initial attraction.

We have been ‘Catfished’ before so on asking them to send a face pic we were met with you send first and we’ll reciprocate.

After politely telling them that as they aren’t verified and had contacted us first we would reciprocate on receiving theirs first. We haven’t heard from them since.

Are we being unreasonable? "

I wouldn't agree to a social meet without seeing pictures first. Think this could possibly be a single male you were chatting to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, whoever asks for the face pic first should be the one to send first. In fact, they should send one along with the request.

But that's just how I see it and how I do things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So.. what I guess I’m saying is if we’d been talking for a bit and you asked to see mine first I’d do as that couple did and say “you first”.

But your profile.. your rules

I kind of agree with this view.

If you contact me, I’d expect you to send a face pic. But, then it’s like poker. If I call you on it, I put my hand down first.

Like Dan said, we all do things differently, and if you want a pic first, then ask. And they don’t need to comply. It’s a silly game we play sometimes isn’t it?

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By *vabCouple
over a year ago

Harrow

face pics, bank details, phone number and address. I guard em all equally. This is for fun. But a gell has to remember that as well as all those lovely peeps - there are 'characters' out there too...

- if the trust isn't there yet, then it's not...

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By *idnight RamblerMan
over a year ago

Pershore

The protocol is that the ugliest correspondent should send first.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We’ll send ours early on, as there’s no point chatting and chatting and then find there’s no attraction.

We get a feel for people and if they get into game playing with sending pics then we’ll just walk away. We have over 100 pics of us for people to view - they could probably do a photo fit of our pics to make up our face

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

In general, I go by "whoever raises the subject sends first", but as above, it's not a playground, so if I'm asked for one and I'm minded to do so, I will.

The lack of one being sent does feed into the decision, but it's only a part of the overall.

And "no, YOU send first" is a red flag - end of contact.

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By *his_Kitty_ScratchesWoman
over a year ago

WSM

If I ask to see a face pic I attach mine with my request. I’d refuse if I was asked to send one and they hadn’t attached a picture with the request. Majority of single men I find do attach a pic with an opening message, if I like the profile and the picture I will return with mine to continue the conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The person messaging 1st in my opinion

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By *vabCouple
over a year ago

Harrow

"The protocol is that the ugliest correspondent should send first."

Darn you!! - why should I always have to send my ugly mugshot first??? - that's just plain mingerist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most genuine people it’s not a problem after a few messages either way

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By *vabCouple
over a year ago

Harrow

".... We aren't in a playground. "

Oooops! - I kinda thought we WERE in a playground .... my bad ??

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By *1bttmMan
over a year ago

Shoreditch east London

I agree totally. If u contact someone then u should be the one sending a face pic. Its rule no.1 for me. 2nd is don't ask for anything yr not prepared to send yrself. If anyone asks me for more pics I politely say "I'm happy to reply to yrs". If they need further clarification I always point out they contacted me.

In past, I've sent pics on request and in a few cases I've got sorry "not for me". So I've learnt from experience it normally comes with the condition attached ....

'If I like what I see I'll reply' so I don't play that game anymore.

I had this debate with a new member recently (2 days), someone not even verified. They felt they had justification to request more pics despite only having 2. They said they couldn't decide so I decided for them. No thanks

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By *verage Couple Next Door OP Couple
over a year ago

Essex, South East

Thanks for all your replies, turns out they have now been verified and verified a single male, but no photos on their profile.

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