FabSwingers.com forum: Expectation vs reality...

By *essicagrace OP Woman
over a year ago

birmingham

I'm sure we've all heard "you're not what I expected" at one point or another. So...

How you come across online, vs how you are in real life.

I'll go first.

Intimidating and confident vs anxious self conscious wreck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

People's expectations never live up to reality

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to be the same online as I am in real life, but I think I’m shyer is real life, and I’ve been told I’m better looking in person compared to my pics, but then I am rubbish at taking selfies!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite chilled out and highly seductive

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Narky vs cheeky, probably

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personality is the same, i can't fake not giving a fuck.

Looks, I'm better in pictures. A lot better.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Oh the urge to self deprecate is strong.

It varies so much. Let's go with...

Neurotypical/atypical.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"People's expectations never live up to reality

Well Reality lived up to my expectations on more than one occasion

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ade crossTV/TS
over a year ago

chiselhurst

I try and be as honest as possible on line so when people meet me they get what they expect.

I not sure you would have to ask others if i am as confident in person as i am online

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *FFB69Woman
over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

So much... Even in person, if people see me around friends they assume I'm this loud confident person but it takes me a while to be like that around people.

Also have a lot of guys assuming I'd be super dominant in bed ... Nooope aha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only one person said I don't look like my photos. She sent my dog filters face pics and wears glasses

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington

They usually are expecting a Magic Mike look-alike...which I am

...just, uhm, shorter

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *thletic_cuckMan
over a year ago

Here and there

I'm a competitive bodybuilder and am way bigger in real life than I appear on pics. Some people expect an average muscled guy and instead, I show up and I'm not that.for some people, 16 stone is heavy and I'm more like 19.5. Some like it though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brash and no empathy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sure we've all heard "you're not what I expected" at one point or another. So...

How you come across online, vs how you are in real life.

I'll go first.

Intimidating and confident vs anxious self conscious wreck. "

Talkative and thinks he knows everything vs introvert, chilled and laid back

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Absolutely no idea how I come across to other people on line or in person, I don't think any of us have my Ch control over that. I know written communication and in person communication are quite different though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personality is the same, i can't fake not giving a fuck.

Looks, I'm better in pictures. A lot better.

"
this with the pics im a fat cunt in reality

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly don’t know

I hope I’m as nice in person as I seem on here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

No idea how I come across personality wise and how that translates in real life

But I try to be as honest as possible visually particularly prior to a meet and even send a no holds barred full length nude that way no unrealistic expectations there

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Lol no-one has ever admitted that to me yet.

Can't decide whether that's good it bad?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I'm exactly the same

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I'm exactly the same

I can vouch for this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"I'm exactly the same

I can vouch for this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Narky vs cheeky, probably"

Depends, has your taste in shirts changed??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Better than in photos which I don't know whether is a good or bad thing!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

I’m just the same but tend to wear more clothes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Narky vs cheeky, probably

Depends, has your taste in shirts changed??"

Ffs, yes I've burnt the orange shirt.

And yes, my tastes have improved

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *essicagrace OP Woman
over a year ago

birmingham

I really thought I came across as I am but so many people say they find me intimidating or I come across as a hard ass on fab. I'm nice really I promise!! Don't know what makes me come across that way...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Narky vs cheeky, probably

Depends, has your taste in shirts changed??

Ffs, yes I've burnt the orange shirt.

And yes, my tastes have improved

Burrn!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Serious and potentially dour vs heartfelt and rather silly.

Also I’ve been told (repeatedly) that my pictures don’t do me justice, so I guess online me is nothing like the real me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I really thought I came across as I am but so many people say they find me intimidating or I come across as a hard ass on fab. I'm nice really I promise!! Don't know what makes me come across that way..."

You’re not intimidating!

Unless you’ve not eaten.

You have eaten haven’t you?!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *essicagrace OP Woman
over a year ago

birmingham

You’re not intimidating!

Unless you’ve not eaten.

You have eaten haven’t you?! "

........

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Personality wise, I think I'm pretty much the same. Down to earth, to the point, but a little bit dry and "cheeky" according to one forumite.

Looks... I've been told I look even better, that always surprises me. I think I look better in pics.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"I'm exactly the same

I will attest to this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Pretty much the same

I talk more than I use text,plus I fatter on person than good angled photos.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh to answer the question, I think I am the same, possibly more random, clumsy and ditsy though!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Oh to answer the question, I think I am the same, possibly more random, clumsy and ditsy though!

. If I’d commented that’s how I would have described me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been told I'm better looking than pics would suggest

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Oh to answer the question, I think I am the same, possibly more random, clumsy and ditsy though!

. If I’d commented that’s how I would have described me

Me too .. For you I mean Nora

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Oh to answer the question, I think I am the same, possibly more random, clumsy and ditsy though!

. If I’d commented that’s how I would have described me

Me too .. For you I mean Nora

oi! I can say it. You can’t

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Quieter online than in person.

Also shorter than I seem online, angles are marvellous things

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I didn’t mean to trip up and land on Mr Monkeys thighs that time. Honest

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk too much online, talk too much offline

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sure we've all heard "you're not what I expected" at one point or another. So...

How you come across online, vs how you are in real life.

I'll go first.

Being from yorkshire-what you see is what you get

Intimidating and confident vs anxious self conscious wreck. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm everything you expected.

Ugly, grumpy, greying (And that's just my skin).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have different facets to our personalities so we probably come across to people in various scenarios differently. Not just facets but within our roles - parent, employee and so on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A massive dickhead VS an average dickhead

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"A massive dickhead VS an average dickhead "

So you’re just an average dickhead in real life then?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady CurvaceousWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Expectation: I'm a confident, self assured cougar who fucks like a pro.

Reality: I'm painfully self conscious about my height and size, and fuck like a pro.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm better than I look

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A massive dickhead VS an average dickhead

So you’re just an average dickhead in real life then?

That’s for others to decide I guess. I’m definitely some type of dickhead.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"A massive dickhead VS an average dickhead

So you’re just an average dickhead in real life then?

That’s for others to decide I guess. I’m definitely some type of dickhead."

You’re alright you are

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Oh to answer the question, I think I am the same, possibly more random, clumsy and ditsy though!

. If I’d commented that’s how I would have described me

Me too .. For you I mean Nora

oi! I can say it. You can’t

I'm dr*nk so I can say anything haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

Apparently nicer than my profile which is nice….someone asked me if I wrote my profile while I was d*unk hehe but yeah I imagine I come across more clumsy, silly and hopefully gigglier

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A massive dickhead VS an average dickhead

So you’re just an average dickhead in real life then?

That’s for others to decide I guess. I’m definitely some type of dickhead.

You’re alright you are "

Don’t tell people. I’ve got a reputation to uphold.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

"Oh to answer the question, I think I am the same, possibly more random, clumsy and ditsy though!

. If I’d commented that’s how I would have described me

Me too .. For you I mean Nora

oi! I can say it. You can’t

I'm dr*nk so I can say anything haha

You party animal

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"I'm sure we've all heard "you're not what I expected" at one point or another. So...

How you come across online, vs how you are in real life.

I'll go first.

Intimidating and confident vs anxious self conscious wreck. "

Banter well on here. But in public quite shy first of all. Jo

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"A massive dickhead VS an average dickhead

So you’re just an average dickhead in real life then?

That’s for others to decide I guess. I’m definitely some type of dickhead.

You’re alright you are

Don’t tell people. I’ve got a reputation to uphold."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something to keep in mind, it may seem like a bizarre concept to some but we do give of a certain energy towards other ppl even over the internet through pics and text

Generally speaking when someone speaks to you (or even reading your profile), they can get a certain idea of who you are by the way you speak (or write in this), the wording, points of interests you highlight, that information the brain takes in begins to formulate an initial preconception of that person. Given the limited information the brain receives, often, and quite well known, our expectations of the person dont align with the reality

You may believe youre a nice person and you probably are. However when you put yourself out there, your own ideologies, opinions, interests etc. will tend to shape the way you speak, and that in turn translates into the energy you give off through your text, and therefore into the personality you give off to other ppl

Likewise the same goes for your pics, seeing your face, it sends all sorts of msgs to other ppl, a face can tell a thousand words and stories. Couple that with the way you speak and youve crafted an online persona. Which in your case is one of intimidation

Just from looking at your face and reading your profile, i can see why ppl would feel intimidated. Your attractiveness isnt whats intimidating, i feel its the sense that you have some very high closely guarded walls, one wrong slip as someone is climbing to "get in" with you, and theyll fall hard. You want to be inviting to ppl when they see and interact with you, and i dont feel a lot of invitation from you. In my mind i get this sense that youll only ever meet up with ppl you have an interest in and contact them first

But thats just how im seeing it, i dont doubt you are a very nice person, but as youre not sure why ppl are intimidated by you i thought id weigh in on that and give you a possible cause for it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Oh to answer the question, I think I am the same, possibly more random, clumsy and ditsy though!

. If I’d commented that’s how I would have described me

Me too .. For you I mean Nora

oi! I can say it. You can’t

I'm dr*nk so I can say anything haha

You party animal

But no Tequila though I'm partially sensible

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh to answer the question, I think I am the same, possibly more random, clumsy and ditsy though!

. If I’d commented that’s how I would have described me

Me too .. For you I mean Nora

oi! I can say it. You can’t

I'm dr*nk so I can say anything haha

You party animal

But no Tequila though I'm partially sensible

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I didn’t mean to trip up and land on Mr Monkeys thighs that time. Honest

They what they all say

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

"Oh to answer the question, I think I am the same, possibly more random, clumsy and ditsy though!

. If I’d commented that’s how I would have described me

Me too .. For you I mean Nora

oi! I can say it. You can’t

I'm dr*nk so I can say anything haha

You party animal

But no Tequila though I'm partially sensible

I agree with those emojis….you? Sensible?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Oh to answer the question, I think I am the same, possibly more random, clumsy and ditsy though!

. If I’d commented that’s how I would have described me

Me too .. For you I mean Nora

oi! I can say it. You can’t

I'm dr*nk so I can say anything haha

You party animal

But no Tequila though I'm partially sensible

I agree with those emojis….you? Sensible?

I can be .. Just not tonight

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *vasexperimentWoman
over a year ago

huddersfield

"No idea how I come across personality wise and how that translates in real life

But I try to be as honest as possible visually particularly prior to a meet and even send a no holds barred full length nude that way no unrealistic expectations there "

Yeah I like to be honest rather than pretend to be something I’m not

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I actually live a quiet, peaceful life. Enjoy nature and days in the garden, just me and nature (+ a good book and cold drink!).

It suprises a lot of people who on occasions, see me as someone quite different.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *i_guy_sloughMan
over a year ago

Langley

A lot of people have the expectation that I am very straight laced and boring it surprises many people when they find out that couldn’t be further from the truth

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"No idea how I come across personality wise and how that translates in real life

But I try to be as honest as possible visually particularly prior to a meet and even send a no holds barred full length nude that way no unrealistic expectations there

Yeah I like to be honest rather than pretend to be something I’m not

"
m

For here I think it makes sense to do so as otherwise you’re likely to be disappointed or even offended if a meet is like “yea no thanks” whereas I’m brutally honest about how I look etc and then nobody under any illusions

I expect the same in return…don’t always get it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

I can be exactly like I am online. Other times I am not.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

I met a lovely lady regularly for a while (and would love to again) and she was every bit as nice and fun as I expected... more so in fact.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have any idea how I come across online.

I'd hope that in person I come across as a good person.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

... as for me - I don't know.

I'd like to think I'm very much how I come across, but I guess that's what we all hope.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can be more reserved when I first meet someone but once I'm comfortable, the same sarcastic knobhead on here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I get told I look younger in person

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"I don't have any idea how I come across online.

I'd hope that in person I come across as a good person. "

You are awesome IRL x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm the same as here as in real life. I might tone it down slightly in real life so as not to put people off when it comes to being cheeky or sarcastic as it's not for everyone but when I get to know people, I feel more comfortable being myself

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

I think I’m pretty honest and upfront online and come across as a fun person possibly and that’s how I am in real life

I’m pretty much what you see is what you get

No idea how others see me though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread