FabSwingers.com forum: Why do SOME guys

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Apologise for messaging? Makes me sad.

I'm not that scary am I

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry about that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry about that. "

How dare you

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

Some are aware of inbox anxiety, some are aware of their own anxieties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apologise for messaging? Makes me sad.

I'm not that scary am I

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some are aware of inbox anxiety, some are aware of their own anxieties.

What I was going to say, but lovelier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get messages that just say sorry.

I like to think they are just apologising in advance for acting like a complete fuckwit.

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Mostly apologise for placing my face in their box, they might have been eating

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By *mooth Operator 07Man
over a year ago

in the deep mist of the valleys

"Sorry about that. "

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Without getting too deep in to the psychological aspects, apologising in a first message means they are automatically putting you above them in status. The most natural common response is to then level the playing field by bringing yourself down to their level, and starting a conversation by using empathy as a tool.

I’m not sure most people are aware they are doing this as it is a learnt behaviour.

It’s very similar to women who message saying I’m probably not your type/attractive enough for you etc

Marc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But does it work?!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

They probably read the forums and think it's best to apologise to any woman they message. There's a culture of single !an bashing and they pick up on it.

I'm not referring to you op when I say that.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

*single man

That looks like I wrote 'single Ian', poor Ian

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By *tephanjMan
over a year ago

Kettering

Oops sorry didn't mean to post on this thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But does it work?!!

Not really. It makes me feel guilty that they feel bad.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"*single man

That looks like I wrote 'single Ian', poor Ian

Ian's a top lad

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

They've probably been set upon for messaging women who don't like men but won't use filters.

Pre-empting a strike.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"They've probably been set upon for messaging women who don't like men but won't use filters.

Pre-empting a strike."

Yep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do they also ask you if they can ask a question?

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Apologise for messaging? Makes me sad.

I'm not that scary am I

A lot of profiles out there are very aggressive. "I dare you to message me" or "I don't like this, this, this,and this, some of that, all of that, and none of that, so fucking pay attention" type thing... All part of fabs rich tapestry.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Do they also ask you if they can ask a question?

we all have the stock answer to that ready to paste into a reply

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do they also ask you if they can ask a question?

Oh god I hate this.

It's always like "can you fart in my face while I cum on your feet?" as well.

No one ever asks me, like, what my favourite pasta shape is. Those are the important questions.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Do they also ask you if they can ask a question?

That's a novel idea.. "can I ask if you've ever been sent a message asking if i can ask you a question.?"

Kind of a mirror opposite a mirror type thing... A nested if statement... A babushka doll...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do they also ask you if they can ask a question?

That's a novel idea.. "can I ask if you've ever been sent a message asking if i can ask you a question.?"

Kind of a mirror opposite a mirror type thing... A nested if statement... A babushka doll... "

Let me know who send this to...

"can I ask if you've ever been asked if someone has sent a message asking if i can ask you a question.?"

"Ps sorry for asking"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say sorry at start of some messages thanks for the thread helps me understand why I do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because *some* women make them feel like shit for having the audacity to message them on a fuck site!

Cause and effect …

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They've probably been set upon for messaging women who don't like men but won't use filters.

Pre-empting a strike."

But then when you do use filters people get annoyed. It doesn't stop me from using them, but I've had so many comments on the forums about it trying to make me feel like I'm doing something wrong.

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"*single man

That looks like I wrote 'single Ian', poor Ian

“WHAT FUCKING IAN GUY?”

… we’ve all seen High Fidelity at some point right?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"*single man

That looks like I wrote 'single Ian', poor Ian

“WHAT FUCKING IAN GUY?”

… we’ve all seen High Fidelity at some point right?"

I'm culturally inept when it comes to these things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apologise for messaging? Makes me sad.

I'm not that scary am I

"
unfortunately a lot of women on here..not all...have a shocking attitude...some block you just for saying hello or paying them a compliment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apologise for messaging? Makes me sad.

I'm not that scary am I

Maybe they are in awe of your beauty and a little scared hence the sorry part ?

Just saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apologise for messaging? Makes me sad.

I'm not that scary am I

unfortunately a lot of women on here..not all...have a shocking attitude...some block you just for saying hello or paying them a compliment

Ive not really used this site long but 100% agree mate

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Apologise for messaging? Makes me sad.

I'm not that scary am I

unfortunately a lot of women on here..not all...have a shocking attitude...some block you just for saying hello or paying them a compliment

I would take blocking with a pinch of salt. It's not always meant aggressively, just stops repeat messaging from someone you're not interested in. I would look at it as they've saved you time and effort

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"Apologise for messaging? Makes me sad.

I'm not that scary am I

I haven't even messaged you yet...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably because we're aware of how many messages women get and quite a few talk about the lack of quality message that we almost feel bad for adding to that even if we are interested. Or that could just be me, I don't speak for all men

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

"*single man

That looks like I wrote 'single Ian', poor Ian

“WHAT FUCKING IAN GUY?”

… we’ve all seen High Fidelity at some point right?"

That scene killed me, best thing Cusack ever did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apologise for messaging? Makes me sad.

I'm not that scary am I

unfortunately a lot of women on here..not all...have a shocking attitude...some block you just for saying hello or paying them a compliment

"
I block ppl who just say hello. I'd not stop blocking because they apologised !

It's funny the stories we tell ourselves about things like blocking, deleting messages etc... They can be so powerful it changes behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haven’t messaged one woman yet

Consider it club rules thing don’t speak unless I’m spoken to

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"Haven’t messaged one woman yet

Consider it club rules thing don’t speak unless I’m spoken to

How very 'subby' of you

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Sorry not sorry

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By *ollynTwitchCouple
over a year ago

Sible

Most messages get ignored anyway, both ways lol.

Maybe it's a tactic to seem different to the usual "My dick is hard" or similar 1 liner.

All I know,

Messaging women is a needle in haystack usually, couples 50/50

Message a guy and pretty much garauntee a response soo who knows, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a weird gimpy, beta, "nice guy" phenomenon that seems to have infiltrated modern masculinity to a concerning degree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Without getting too deep in to the psychological aspects, apologising in a first message means they are automatically putting you above them in status. The most natural common response is to then level the playing field by bringing yourself down to their level, and starting a conversation by using empathy as a tool.

I’m not sure most people are aware they are doing this as it is a learnt behaviour.

It’s very similar to women who message saying I’m probably not your type/attractive enough for you etc

Marc"

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By *andering Welsh GuyMan
over a year ago

All over the place

Overly polite maybe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not sure most people are aware they are doing this as it is a learnt behaviour.

It’s very similar to women who message saying I’m probably not your type/attractive enough for you etc

Marc"

Well said and I agree it’s probably unconsciously done. I’ve had messages from women apologising and suggesting they’re not my type, which I find unattractive as I like a confident woman.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

I’m not sure most people are aware they are doing this as it is a learnt behaviour.

It’s very similar to women who message saying I’m probably not your type/attractive enough for you etc

Marc

Well said and I agree it’s probably unconsciously done. I’ve had messages from women apologising and suggesting they’re not my type, which I find unattractive as I like a confident woman.

Thank you. Sorry should be reserved for when it is needed.

Of you feel like you are inconveniencing someone then it’s best not to.

You are right it comes down to confidence and self worth

Marc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a weird gimpy, beta, "nice guy" phenomenon that seems to have infiltrated modern masculinity to a concerning degree."

Or just manners? One of the two, possibly.

It’s like when I stop someone in the street to ask something, first thing I say is “Sorry to bother you, but ..”

Maybe I’m just being a weird, gimpy “beta”, “nice guy”?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's a weird gimpy, beta, "nice guy" phenomenon that seems to have infiltrated modern masculinity to a concerning degree."

Found the 4chan mod

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

[Removed by poster at 25/06/22 12:41:39]

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Some men should apologize for their terrible message. Read profiles people - it will give you inspiration for your message.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"It's a weird gimpy, beta, "nice guy" phenomenon that seems to have infiltrated modern masculinity to a concerning degree.

Found the 4chan mod

More Wizardchan

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"Apologise for messaging? Makes me sad.

I'm not that scary am I

"
. I never apologise for messaging as my messages are not rude.You are definitely not scary.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I have a special note for the one liners brigade on my profile. If they don’t read it - the only thing they should be sorry for is themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not sure most people are aware they are doing this as it is a learnt behaviour.

It’s very similar to women who message saying I’m probably not your type/attractive enough for you etc

Marc"
this sounds like it

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By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk

I apologise a lot. Or at least I say sorry a lot.

I may or may not have done that here, honestly can't remember as its ages since I sent out a speculative message.

If I have said sorry in a message for then I apologise profusely.

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