FabSwingers.com forum: Checklist before a meet

By *undance_Kid OP Man
over a year ago

London

I would at least expect a WhatsApp or Kik convo before a meet to give me some degree of confidence that the person was genuine.

What does everyone else do ? Got someone wanting to meet, but she has just named a place and a time via messaging on here, but I’m a bit wary that it’s BS, as she refuses to chat on any other platform.

Thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/06/22 05:25:43]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Texting on other platforms would still give you the same doubt. Give her your number and tell her to call on private. Her response will tell you everything you need to know

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By *undance_Kid OP Man
over a year ago

London

Ok, thanks for that

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I usually just chat for a while on here or Kik before I meet anyone. I have never chatted on the phone because I won't give out my number/whatapp .I have one phone and I am not that invested in fab to buy a phone just for here.

I find chatting for a while you get a good idea what the person is like and I've never had a no show since I joined. Maybe I got lucky but it works for me.

Only you can decide how you do fab and if you are wary or getting that feeling someone isn't real than follow your gut.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would not meet from just a date and time.

I don’t mind just using this site (although it’s awkward and clunky) to talk and build some personality, but I need to build some trust. And it’s hard this way.

Trust your gut op, your inner self picks up vibes better than anything else.

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By *ttmcdguyTV/TS
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Some people don’t have other platforms to chat on

I don’t use any other type of social media apart from fab and another popular tv site

But then I’m happy to give my personal number after initial chat to gain that bit of trust

But unfortunately it’s the nature of a hook up site it’s full of fantasists and time wasters

Every now and then a genuine member will pop up lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always be cautious …..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How long have you been chatting? What sort of rapport have you built up over time?

If it’s a sudden thing and she’s just named a location and time and you have to turn up or else .. well, think with your head rather than your penis!

If it’s been a prolonged conversation and you’re comfortable she’s genuine, well then only you will truly know your gut feel.

Hope it all works out!

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

We like to what's app chat and sometimes a video call if we're a little unsure, it's easier on what's app to have a group conversation.

Mrs

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By *azkinsWoman
over a year ago

leeds

I don't chat anywhere else like it or lump it.

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

She'll flake.. Why would you not give your mobile number to someone you intend to meet in person!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a rule on fab that I never break. I won't compromise the way I do things on here for anyone. If someone isn't compatible with that, then I won't meet them. I guess you need to decide which things you're happy to compromise on for a sniff of fanny, op.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"Texting on other platforms would still give you the same doubt. Give her your number and tell her to call on private. Her response will tell you everything you need to know

This. If people are unable to speak on the phone then there is no way they are able to meet.

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By *undance_Kid OP Man
over a year ago

London

Yeah thanks for the advice all, I will pass. All the signs are telling me this.

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By *ichAndLouiseCouple
over a year ago

Crewe

As we see it, if someone wants to exchange bodily fluids a phone number is not a big ask.

We don't get the won't give out numbers thing, what can anyone do with it that you can't block them for? We have given ours out many, many times and never had any trouble at all.

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By *ristinapinkWoman
over a year ago

Staines-upon-Thames

Go with your intuition x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I disagree, I’ve had meets which I’ve arranged on here alone.

I never give out my number, or do phone calls/videos.

If she doesn’t turn up, she doesn’t turn up, what have you lost?

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By *nnasHammerCouple
over a year ago

The Upside Down

A face time prior to any meet. It’s the best way to confirm someone is genuine. If they refuse to do a FaceTime, the meet doesn’t go ahead. Simples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As we see it, if someone wants to exchange bodily fluids a phone number is not a big ask.

We don't get the won't give out numbers thing, what can anyone do with it that you can't block them for? We have given ours out many, many times and never had any trouble at all.

You are incredibly naïve.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would at least expect a WhatsApp or Kik convo before a meet to give me some degree of confidence that the person was genuine.

Thoughts?"

Is it a fuck meet or a social?

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By *undance_Kid OP Man
over a year ago

London

Meeting for a drink with the expectation that it will lead to more. However, I only chatted for a couple of hours on Tuesday so just not wholly confident that it’s legit.

You are right though Hippy Chick, at the end of the day I only lose a couple of hours of my time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like to chat a little on here, after seeing profile pictures and any they may choose to send, plus their profile bio catching our eye.

If we feel this could lead somewhere after a little fab message ping pong, we'll suggest a phonecall to see we get along, like minded etc.

Then we're happy to swap face pics via WhatsApp.

If we're all still keen to meet, we'll suggest another phonecall to discuss the plans ahead and talk boundaries etc.

It's worked for us so far, though I'm sure we could adapt of need be.

We realise we all do things differently, though we all have to be comfortable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meeting for a drink with the expectation that it will lead to more. However, I only chatted for a couple of hours on Tuesday so just not wholly confident that it’s legit.

You are right though Hippy Chick, at the end of the day I only lose a couple of hours of my time."

That's it, weigh up the pros and cons on taking a chance.

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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago

Wombwell, Barnsley

"I disagree, I’ve had meets which I’ve arranged on here alone.

I never give out my number, or do phone calls/videos.

If she doesn’t turn up, she doesn’t turn up, what have you lost? "

This

. Only you can decide though.

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By *ichAndLouiseCouple
over a year ago

Crewe

"You are incredibly naïve."

Feel free to explain this one.

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

Just been extremely lucky so far. I find if I’m not cagey with them, they’re more open with me/us. Yes, we always do a text or call before meeting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like a WhatsApp chat before a meeting as find that putting it three or four way in that kind of fluid chatting environment tends to sort out the wheat from the chaff.

However … we have done a couple of meets with people who didn’t want to give our phone numbers for what then ended up being legitimate reasons and we are glad we didn’t pass them by.

Agree with others that gut instinct is your best bet.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I agree with hippychick. I never chat on the phone or give out my number but I still always turn up for meets

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By *ebauchery DivineWoman
over a year ago

Down in Dickleburgh Drive

"As we see it, if someone wants to exchange bodily fluids a phone number is not a big ask.

We don't get the won't give out numbers thing, what can anyone do with it that you can't block them for? We have given ours out many, many times and never had any trouble at all.

You're lucky then! I had to change my number because a guy kept ringing me from private number.

I only chat on here nowadays but I suppose it's different as I only meet in clubs anyway.

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By *astesLikeMagicWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

I get annoyed if guys suggest taking the convo off here tbh. Makes me think they're all talk and looking for wank material.

That's not to say your potential meet is real or fake, just that some of us do operate in the same way.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

If I'm arranging to meet someone, I like to swap numbers as a way to confirm arrangements.

If they're cagey about that, it would be a no go

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We never take conversations off fab. If we suggested meeting and the person doubted us via the forum we'd cancel the meet anyway.

It's just as easy to make false promises via text or email

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

We don’t give out our numbers and wouldn’t expect anyone else to either. I’ve usually chatted quite a while either on here or other platforms first though. We’ve rarely been asked for a phone call, only with couples.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Telegram is a quick download, easy to use and you can give out your username and keep your number secret.

I won't meet someone who wont make this minor effort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely use any other platform to chat and its never been a problem. It here isnt good enough then tough!

I wont change my way if doing things to please others.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Texting on other platforms would still give you the same doubt. Give her your number and tell her to call on private. Her response will tell you everything you need to know

Agree with this, it’s my time waster marker if they won’t chat on a withheld number call

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"She'll flake.. Why would you not give your mobile number to someone you intend to meet in person!?"

Because of being harassed? I had a date from a dating site a while ago. Pleasant but no chemistry. I sent a very polite thanks but no thanks via WhatsApp.. she had a meltdown and I had to block her eventually. She then started messaging me from several different numbers.

I can only imagine how much worse it could be for a single female.

Its perfectly acceptable to keep your number private until you are sure you want to meet up again. There are enough methods of communication without handing it out.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"She'll flake.. Why would you not give your mobile number to someone you intend to meet in person!?

I can only imagine how much worse it could be for a single female.

Its perfectly acceptable to keep your number private until you are sure you want to meet up again. There are enough methods of communication without handing it out. "

Definitely! I won’t give mine easily. I had this. Kept calling from other numbers. Very few people get my number.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She'll flake.. Why would you not give your mobile number to someone you intend to meet in person!?

I can only imagine how much worse it could be for a single female.

Its perfectly acceptable to keep your number private until you are sure you want to meet up again. There are enough methods of communication without handing it out. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always move to another platform if we feel the conversation moves to the point of a potential meeting. Sometimes it goes well others it fizzles out. You can’t always predict what’s going to happen so try to be open minded. Offer to video call if the other person has concerns.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Yeah thanks for the advice all, I will pass. All the signs are telling me this."

Is she verified by meets with others? Has she been in Fab a while? Is she even photo verified by the site?

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

This thread shows how different everyone is. I won’t even FaceTime family because I hate it, so there’s no way I’d be FaceTiming somebody from here. I’m also phobic of phone conversations with guys after I once had a really awkward one which still makes me cringe to think about, so I probably wouldn’t do that either. I will chat on other platforms though and I’m not a time waster. Everyone just has to do what feels right for them. Good luck deciding what to do OP! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d just go off the feeling. It’s hard to explain, but some people you can just almost sense they’re genuine and will be there.

It’s not a guarantee but again giving your number out or telegram isn’t either…

I’ve met people just using this for messaging.

You turn up and they either do or don’t — that will happen regardless if you have their Telegram or just talking via here.

It’s just a chance you take and I’d go on my gut feeling every time.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"This thread shows how different everyone is. I won’t even FaceTime family because I hate it, so there’s no way I’d be FaceTiming somebody from here. I’m also phobic of phone conversations with guys after I once had a really awkward one which still makes me cringe to think about, so I probably wouldn’t do that either. I will chat on other platforms though and I’m not a time waster. Everyone just has to do what feels right for them. Good luck deciding what to do OP! x"

Same. I’m not video calling with anybody. If they don’t believe I’m real move on. That’s not my problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely!

I won’t FaceTime either, I don’t mind a phone call and I chat off here but video call is a no from me…

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

I shudder at the thought of video calls too

FaceTime is not flattering

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Same. I’m not video calling with anybody. If they don’t believe I’m real move on. That’s not my problem. "

Exactly this.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I don't chat on any other platform, but my veris prove that I'm real and I'll turn up.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Texting on other platforms would still give you the same doubt. Give her your number and tell her to call on private. Her response will tell you everything you need to know

This. If people are unable to speak on the phone then there is no way they are able to meet."

Not true. I have massive anxiety about talking to people in the phone. I'd much rather meet face to face.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Prepare for the worst hope for the best.

Assume you may get stood up, so only be prepared to waste that time you are happy to waste.

We always ensure we have something else we can do, (shopping, food etc.), when going for social meets, that way if they do cancel/no show we still have things to do.

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West

Has she got veris? If not I would be wary. Ask to chat on phone

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

Same. I’m not video calling with anybody. If they don’t believe I’m real move on. That’s not my problem. "

We all know you are just a sexy AI construct Nora

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"I would at least expect a WhatsApp or Kik convo before a meet to give me some degree of confidence that the person was genuine.

Thoughts?"

I had one many moons ago. A couple. Meet down a lane and behind the farm buildings. Wouldn't talk to me in advance. Never met them before. My erection was very keen. My brain kicked in about 2 hours before and realised it all sounded very dodgy. Too dodgy. So I declined.

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By *icked_tongueMan
over a year ago

Bolton

"I usually just chat for a while on here or Kik before I meet anyone. I have never chatted on the phone because I won't give out my number/whatapp .I have one phone and I am not that invested in fab to buy a phone just for here.

I find chatting for a while you get a good idea what the person is like and I've never had a no show since I joined. Maybe I got lucky but it works for me.

Only you can decide how you do fab and if you are wary or getting that feeling someone isn't real than follow your gut. "

That's why the OP gives people his number and says it's ok for the other person to withold their number if they don't want to give it.

This is what I do, surprisingly you get all sorts of excuses as to why they won't/can't do it, it makes me laugh

This is my preferred method before any meet. Trust your gut OP.

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Do your stretches before a meet

you don't wanna be getting cramp lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would at least expect a WhatsApp or Kik convo before a meet to give me some degree of confidence that the person was genuine.

Thoughts?"
. Why would you want to start chatting on another platform. Whatever is said here is the same elsewhere.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We don’t give our number out. We offer telegram.

But we’d chat to people to ensure they know we are on board.

If the chat has been one night and then radio silence then we’d be wary as it could have been an in the mood thing.

If she’s gone on to arrange a date after Tuesday and kept chat going a little, id say she’s ensuring that she isn’t going to get burnt and you were just after wank material.

If she’s gone completely quiet then i’d think twice. Only you know the full details…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t chat on any platform other than here unless I’ve met someone.

Text/WhatsApp is time consuming and I don’t like giving my personal number to strangers. Also I found that people expect instant replies and send those annoying “???” texts if you haven’t responded instantly.

So I much prefer to stick to messaging on here, with no expectation of instant replies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find chatting for a while you get a good idea what the person is like and I've never had a no show since I joined. Maybe I got lucky but it works for me.

Only you can decide how you do fab and if you are wary or getting that feeling someone isn't real than follow your gut.

That's why the OP gives people his number and says it's ok for the other person to withold their number if they don't want to give it.

This is what I do, surprisingly you get all sorts of excuses as to why they won't/can't do it, it makes me laugh

This is my preferred method before any meet. Trust your gut OP. "

It makes you laugh that people want to protect their privacy and don't want to risk some nutjob using their number in nefarious ways? Great.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Following

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I find chatting for a while you get a good idea what the person is like and I've never had a no show since I joined. Maybe I got lucky but it works for me.

Only you can decide how you do fab and if you are wary or getting that feeling someone isn't real than follow your gut.

That's why the OP gives people his number and says it's ok for the other person to withold their number if they don't want to give it.

This is what I do, surprisingly you get all sorts of excuses as to why they won't/can't do it, it makes me laugh

This is my preferred method before any meet. Trust your gut OP. "

Well you do fab the way you choose .I choose not to talk to someone on the phone before I meet because the couple of times I did it was awkward as hell it's so much easier to talk I person or a guy expecting sex talk so no I won't talk on the phone or facetime first that's my choice and I don't care if someone doesn't like the fact I won't. They can do the same as I do have when people get pushy about it and move on and meet someone who is more suited to them.No one should have to change how they do fab to suit other people it's that simple and it amused me when others try and say their way is the right way and says a lot more about them and how they would be on a meet than anything else ever can .

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Texting on other platforms would still give you the same doubt. Give her your number and tell her to call on private. Her response will tell you everything you need to know

This. If people are unable to speak on the phone then there is no way they are able to meet.

Not true. I have massive anxiety about talking to people in the phone. I'd much rather meet face to face."

For me, a phone chat confirms the person is actually a female, and works as a great ice-breaker before a face to face meet, as you get a good feel for how the two of you will get on. Because I offer my number, and the person can call me number withheld, I always say “If I sound like a nutter you can just hang up on me, and I cannot call you back”. This has worked well over the years, but as this thread shows, we all do different things

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