FabSwingers.com forum: No Shows.....arghhh How long to wait?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Had my first no show today. A couple from Ascot (or thats what they say).

Arranged to meet at mid-day at a pub. Got myself a beer and had a pleasant drink in the beer garden. (does anyone else feel a bit of a prat sat on their own in a beer garden, especially in a pub they've never known before?).

Waited 50 minutes, then left.

They had my number and could have text, call or sent a message via fab - NOTHING!

Is that reasonable?

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

That’s very reasonable. It happens, shake it off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think I would have waited that long tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes that is very reasonable. Sorry to hear that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not reasonable at all. You can change your mind while also having a bit of etiquette and respect for the person who put the effort in to show up.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"It's not reasonable at all. You can change your mind while also having a bit of etiquette and respect for the person who put the effort in to show up."

I thought he was asking if 50mins was a reasonable time period to have waited…?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Half hour at most x

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"That’s very reasonable. It happens, shake it off. "

Harsh. but true unfortunately

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We've never had a no show but our plan is always to wait the length of time it takes us to drink our drinks.

You've done nothing wrong

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's not reasonable at all. You can change your mind while also having a bit of etiquette and respect for the person who put the effort in to show up.

I thought he was asking if 50mins was a reasonable time period to have waited…?"

I was!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not reasonable at all. You can change your mind while also having a bit of etiquette and respect for the person who put the effort in to show up.

I thought he was asking if 50mins was a reasonable time period to have waited…?"

Ahhh having read the OP again, I may have mis-interpreted it

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

"It's not reasonable at all. You can change your mind while also having a bit of etiquette and respect for the person who put the effort in to show up.

I thought he was asking if 50mins was a reasonable time period to have waited…?"

I've waited like two hours for non fab people before, but I think that says more about me than anything else.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"It's not reasonable at all. You can change your mind while also having a bit of etiquette and respect for the person who put the effort in to show up."

At least I put some deodorant on before I met you for a drink the other week

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Sorry you got messed around. I wouldn't wait more than 30 minutes but I also insist on hearing from the person(s) on the day of the meet.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"It's not reasonable at all. You can change your mind while also having a bit of etiquette and respect for the person who put the effort in to show up.

I thought he was asking if 50mins was a reasonable time period to have waited…?

I've waited like two hours for non fab people before, but I think that says more about me than anything else."

Wow

30 mins max for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not reasonable at all. You can change your mind while also having a bit of etiquette and respect for the person who put the effort in to show up.

At least I put some deodorant on before I met you for a drink the other week

And it didn't go unnoticed, ever the gentleman

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry you got messed around. I wouldn't wait more than 30 minutes but I also insist on hearing from the person(s) on the day of the meet."

I had a message on Fab to say they will see me tomorrow (which is today).

I will follow your advice in the future.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"Sorry you got messed around. I wouldn't wait more than 30 minutes but I also insist on hearing from the person(s) on the day of the meet.

I had a message on Fab to say they will see me tomorrow (which is today).

I will follow your advice in the future."

Hopefully it won't happen again. You don't deserve it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's not reasonable at all. You can change your mind while also having a bit of etiquette and respect for the person who put the effort in to show up.

I thought he was asking if 50mins was a reasonable time period to have waited…?

I've waited like two hours for non fab people before, but I think that says more about me than anything else.

Wow

30 mins max for me"

Normally that's what I was thinking But I had a nice cold beer and sat in the sunshine and stayed longer.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry you got messed around. I wouldn't wait more than 30 minutes but I also insist on hearing from the person(s) on the day of the meet.

I had a message on Fab to say they will see me tomorrow (which is today).

I will follow your advice in the future.

Hopefully it won't happen again. You don't deserve it."

ahhhh thank you xxx

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

After 15 mins of waiting I take a selfie of myself at the venue! To send as had one insist he was there and I didn't show! Last time I did that he was just appearing round corner in a rush x

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

It's because of people like this that others ask for a phone or video call.

Did they confirm who they were?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I wouldn't leave my house until I had a confirmation text on the day.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"After 15 mins of waiting I take a selfie of myself at the venue! To send as had one insist he was there and I didn't show! Last time I did that he was just appearing round corner in a rush x"

I did exactly this and sent it.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"After 15 mins of waiting I take a selfie of myself at the venue! To send as had one insist he was there and I didn't show! Last time I did that he was just appearing round corner in a rush x

I did exactly this and sent it."

Good x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd give it an hour if there had been no contact. I was 15 minutes late once, thankfully she hadn't given up on me, I'd gone to the wrong hotel of the same chain...

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

I suppose it’s very different for us ,as if we have a no show we just have a nice time together it’s a shitty thing to do tho.

If we ever are running late as sometimes stuff happens and it can’t be helped we always let them know even if it’s a message on here explaining.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

50 mins is very reasonable, especially sat in a pub on your own I think I’d have waited 30 mins max

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I’m happy to sit anywhere by myself. They were taking the piss and time wasters.

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I always check in on the day, just to make sure. But don't wait more than 30 mins.

This is so wrong when people don't turn up, only takes 2 seconds to send a quick msg!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always check before leaving to a social. I did wait an hour for female friend once we were attending a daytime party as couple. I did get constant messages from her say sorry on my way. Never did find out why my friend was an hour late but we had lots of fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always check in on the day, just to make sure. But don't wait more than 30 mins.

This is so wrong when people don't turn up, only takes 2 seconds to send a quick msg!"

Exactly it’s awful really there is no excuse at all not to make contact. Whether you are late or can’t do it anymore, whatever the reason…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lifetime

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"It's not reasonable at all. You can change your mind while also having a bit of etiquette and respect for the person who put the effort in to show up.

I thought he was asking if 50mins was a reasonable time period to have waited…?

Ahhh having read the OP again, I may have mis-interpreted it

I read it the same as you

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By *hinstrapMan
over a year ago

Barnsley

I'd probably give it the same. Far too many messers about at the moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry pal. I hear lots of no shows. And 1hr is plenty of time to figure things out I guess.

I hope the drink was nice, and you probably leaned a lesson.

#thinkpositive.

they could have let you know. Ignorant b’stards.

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By *omRachCouple
over a year ago

Wirral

"Had my first no show today. A couple from Ascot (or thats what they say).

Waited 50 minutes, then left.

They had my number and could have text, call or sent a message via fab - NOTHING!

Is that reasonable?"

It's never reasonable, absolute cunts trick!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d say enough time to have a drink is a respectful amount of time without them letting you know if they are running late, don’t let it get you down though these things happen just dust yourself off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry this happened to you OP, you waited longer than I would have. I'd probably say 30mins max, I hope you enjoyed your beer in the garden. Lovely day for it.

Mrs

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"Had my first no show today. A couple from Ascot (or thats what they say).

Waited 50 minutes, then left.

They had my number and could have text, call or sent a message via fab - NOTHING!

Is that reasonable?"

Sorry to hear that, OP. You gave them ample time - no excuse not to drop you a message at the very least.

Every cloud...at least you got to have a nice drink in a sunny beer garden on a work day!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it was your first then don’t fret about it. Says everything about them nothing about you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the words of support. I'm just disappointed...

What I have found out is that under the 'report' option on one's profiles, there is an option to report a 'no show', so I have!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We'd have finished our drinks and left however long that took.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At least you had a pleasent drink in a beer garden, look at the positive side of the no show..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

and they've read the two messages I sent them. Deleted them, no apology and now blocked me.

That's the last time I try to arrange anything with a couple of similar age who live in Ascot!

It was a nice day to have a quiet drink in the beer garden though, and been a long time since I've done that!

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By *mMrbrightsideMan
over a year ago

wakefield

Sorry to hear that op

It happened to me when I first started on fab, next time do checks, verify there genuine or at least a phone call before organising anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's happened to me twice,the most recent occasion was last week,drive nearly 40 miles to a right dump of a pub of her choice,sat there for half an hour then left. Apparently she had a family issue which stopped her coming but still very annoying. I commented that I thought the pub was a dump,red rag to a bull ! She accused me of being a snob ! Won't be attempting another meet with this particular lady.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I message after 5 mins and if they do reply or appear after 15 I am off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had no shows when hosting. I tend to wait an hour then if there is no message to say "I'm running late" I know I've been stood up. Once I was waiting for a lift in the street so waited a bit because the guy was messaging to say he was stuck in traffic, then looking for a parking space. He never showed. I've never had a no show at a pub meet. I might start doing them from now on for new meets. If i get stood up at least I'm out doing something. I have no problem drinking by myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there's something about online culture that encourages this kind of behaviour. Being online is the perfect place for flakes and time wasters etc Also a lot of people will be like "Well no one owes you anything OP" which also encourages this sort of bs. Surprised that age doesn't necessarily mean maturity or consideration for others

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"It's not reasonable at all. You can change your mind while also having a bit of etiquette and respect for the person who put the effort in to show up.

I thought he was asking if 50mins was a reasonable time period to have waited…?"

50 mins, sunshine and beer.

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