FabSwingers.com forum: Marked as Unread

By *unning Linguist OP Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Ladies of fab...why do you read messages, then mark them as Unread. Oh yes you do...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1. I've read it and may not have the time to reply right there and then

2. Ive read it and think what a dickhead go away

3. I'd like to think about if I actually want to reply in the first place

4. I'm thinking what to reply.

5. Because I can

6. Because I'm nosey and wanted to see what it said but don't want a message asking why I've not replied.

Could be anyone of the above for me, sometimes a combination.

But, mainly number 6.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In all honesty it's not something iv done but I can totally understand why some do. As stated above there are many reasons.

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By *ornyhun69Woman
over a year ago

Wales

"1. I've read it and may not have the time to reply right there and then

2. Ive read it and think what a dickhead go away

3. I'd like to think about if I actually want to reply in the first place

4. I'm thinking what to reply.

5. Because I can

6. Because I'm nosey and wanted to see what it said but don't want a message asking why I've not replied.

Could be anyone of the above for me, sometimes a combination.

But, mainly number 6. "

^^^^ all of the above

plus I need to see what pic is attached to the message

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

Just read and delete we know where we stand then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. I've read it and may not have the time to reply right there and then

2. Ive read it and think what a dickhead go away

3. I'd like to think about if I actually want to reply in the first place

4. I'm thinking what to reply.

5. Because I can

6. Because I'm nosey and wanted to see what it said but don't want a message asking why I've not replied.

Could be anyone of the above for me, sometimes a combination.

But, mainly number 6.

^^^^ all of the above

plus I need to see what pic is attached to the message

That falls into number 6.

I'm nosey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just read and delete we know where we stand then"

You know where you stand until you get a reply. I've never understood "just say a polite no and don't delete or leave unread" thing, If someone doesn't reply the outcome is exactly the same as delete or not read.

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By *unning Linguist OP Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

[Removed by poster at 22/06/22 02:14:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[message read and marked as unread by poster at 22/06/22 02:14:09]"

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By *unning Linguist OP Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

[Removed by poster at 22/06/22 02:16:24]

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

"[Massive confusion by poster at 22/06/22 02:16:24]"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ladies of fab...why do you read messages, then mark them as Unread. Oh yes you do...

This particular chap from Fab... why do you reply on your forum post, then delete it? Oh yes you do....

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By *unning Linguist OP Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

To the Ladies who have replied/confessed, I get that you receive many unwanted messages but consider how frustrating it would be to send countless messages which appear not to have even been read? Especially to people for whom we appear to match what they say they are looking for. Please therefore read and/or delete...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To the Ladies who have replied/confessed, I get that you receive many unwanted messages but consider how frustrating it would be to send countless messages which appear not to have even been read? Especially to people for whom we appear to match what they say they are looking for. Please therefore read and/or delete...

If I'm honest I think that's where you're going wrong, The frustration is down to you not the person you are sending the message to. If you feel frustrated knowing someone hasn't read your message it's probably best to send a message then delete it from your outbox rather than checking to see if has been read. Also just because you think you match doesn't mean they do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Consider how frustrating it must be to either receive to numerous messages in your inbox to get through (shock horror), or just literally not having a spare few hours in your day to get through them all?... It's the opposite ends of the spectrum sometimes on Fab, and neither party every *really* appreciates the others perspective

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

Because it’s our inbox and we can use it how we see fit.

Also just because you think you’re what someone is looking for based on what you’ve read, doesn’t mean that person will feel the same.

I’ve read a message and left it and had abuse for not replying quicker than they’d like, on more than one occasion. So we’re damned if we do, and damned if we don’t.

Like another poster said, don’t make your frustration something that’s down to us, delete your message after you’ve sent it, then you won’t need to check, problem solved.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

To be fair, the rules of fab is to consider an opened message with no reply as a polite “no thanks” and move on

If you read it and mark it as unread guys are gonna assume it got buried in your inbox and they’re gonna message again

Sure, you can do what you want with your inbox

But you might not get the results you want by doing that. Reading and then marking as unread defeats the purpose of the rule in the faq. You can’t blame a guy for messaging again if he thinks his message has just been buried and unopened

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Top tip. - Send a message, and forget about it until they reply.

(why the site can’t have a friends folder I will never know???

)

If it’s unread, it is not important to them. Maybe when they read it, it might be.

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By *tarburst babydollMan
over a year ago

Dingwall

The only time I ever do this is if the message has peaked my interest and want it left until the hubby gets a chance to see it

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

Either of us will mark it unread if we want the other to see it.

We’re often on here at different times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. I've read it and may not have the time to reply right there and then

2. Ive read it and think what a dickhead go away

3. I'd like to think about if I actually want to reply in the first place

4. I'm thinking what to reply.

5. Because I can

6. Because I'm nosey and wanted to see what it said but don't want a message asking why I've not replied.

Could be anyone of the above for me, sometimes a combination.

But, mainly number 6. "

Exactly this

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Fellas who complain about how women use the site, please don't be so entitled. Cheers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I send a message and it's read, then marked unread, I always consider myself to be on the "maybe" pile. I'm on a lot of "maybe" piles.

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By *asual_WandererWoman
over a year ago

A spot you want me

"1. I've read it and may not have the time to reply right there and then

2. Ive read it and think what a dickhead go away

3. I'd like to think about if I actually want to reply in the first place

4. I'm thinking what to reply.

5. Because I can

6. Because I'm nosey and wanted to see what it said but don't want a message asking why I've not replied.

Could be anyone of the above for me, sometimes a combination.

But, mainly number 6. "

All of the above

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

To remind me to come back to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. I've read it and may not have the time to reply right there and then

2. Ive read it and think what a dickhead go away

3. I'd like to think about if I actually want to reply in the first place

4. I'm thinking what to reply.

5. Because I can

6. Because I'm nosey and wanted to see what it said but don't want a message asking why I've not replied.

Could be anyone of the above for me, sometimes a combination.

But, mainly number 6.

All of the above"

I wonder how many times I'm a number 2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually go to send messages and click on my last sent message that way I can read the new message but it still says unread to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. I've read it and may not have the time to reply right there and then

2. Ive read it and think what a dickhead go away

3. I'd like to think about if I actually want to reply in the first place

4. I'm thinking what to reply.

5. Because I can

6. Because I'm nosey and wanted to see what it said but don't want a message asking why I've not replied.

Could be anyone of the above for me, sometimes a combination.

But, mainly number 6.

All of the above

I wonder how many times I'm a number 2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not just women, I do this all the time. I can be busy so don't have the time to reply then and there but I also like to think about my replies before sending them and don't want to forget that I haven't replied

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually go to send messages and click on my last sent message that way I can read the new message but it still says unread to them

Only works if you've replied at least once though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually go to send messages and click on my last sent message that way I can read the new message but it still says unread to them

Only works if you've replied at least once though

Oh yeah I forgot women don't reply to messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually go to send messages and click on my last sent message that way I can read the new message but it still says unread to them

Only works if you've replied at least once though

I’ve replied to some that never read theirs…..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. I've read it and may not have the time to reply right there and then

2. Ive read it and think what a dickhead go away

3. I'd like to think about if I actually want to reply in the first place

4. I'm thinking what to reply.

5. Because I can

6. Because I'm nosey and wanted to see what it said but don't want a message asking why I've not replied.

Could be anyone of the above for me, sometimes a combination.

But, mainly number 6. "

What she said ^.

Plus, we’re allowed to run our profile/inbox as we wish

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"Plus, we’re allowed to run our profile/inbox as we wish "

As you wish, within the guidelies set out by the man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually go to send messages and click on my last sent message that way I can read the new message but it still says unread to them

Only works if you've replied at least once though

I’ve replied to some that never read theirs…..

*goes to sift through inbox*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually go to send messages and click on my last sent message that way I can read the new message but it still says unread to them

Only works if you've replied at least once though

I’ve replied to some that never read theirs…..

*goes to sift through inbox*"

It was sent 8 months ago, good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did not even know this was a thing , I do now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually go to send messages and click on my last sent message that way I can read the new message but it still says unread to them

Only works if you've replied at least once though

I’ve replied to some that never read theirs…..

*goes to sift through inbox*

It was sent 8 months ago, good luck

well I am always late

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I mark crap or abusive messages as unread before I delete them .Mind you some I don't even have to open as I can tell before I do what they are.

Rarely I will mark one unread if I plan to go back and answer them later when I have more time.

I don't know why it upsets people so much what others do with their mailbox tho. I know if I send a first message to someone I delete it from my sent box and give it no more thought.Then if they reply at some point great if they don't well that's fine too it tells me they aren't interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not just the ladies, I do it too.

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By *urious_Couple20Couple
over a year ago

Rochester

With this in mind... are there any tips for making a good impression? (asking as a noob and shy female part of the couple)... I've never been one to approach people I find attractive or interesting for lack of rejection and am finding it hard to break the ice at times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do it. But I’m inherently annoying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mostly because I like to have a quick read but don’t have time to reply immediately so don’t want to leave the person at the other end hanging wondering whether they are about to get deleted and/or blocked or get a reply. Also if I read and don’t reply I tend to get messages saying:

I take it that’s a no then!

Do you fancy it or not?

Etc, etc, etc.

As well as that - I might have had a quick look at the pic attached but not really had time to … erm … digest. So if I mark as unread it gives me a chance to go back to the pic later before the person who messages deletes the pic. This happens loads as if you leave the message unread the person thinks their pic has put you off and they remove it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"With this in mind... are there any tips for making a good impression? (asking as a noob and shy female part of the couple)... I've never been one to approach people I find attractive or interesting for lack of rejection and am finding it hard to break the ice at times

For fear of rejection!??!?! I don’t think you’ll struggle for acceptance on here … your profile and pics are great and make all the impression you need. Just drop people you like the look of a message, something that says you are interested to find out more and genuine people will chat back. We would!

From the used to be shy and new female part of this couple! xx

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By *urious_Couple20Couple
over a year ago

Rochester

Awww, why thank you

It gives me hope that you declare yourself as formally shy... this is a very new thing for me and I'm super excited but often feel out of my depth at times. So I figured the forums might help me dip my toe in a bit

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