FabSwingers.com forum: Ugly

By *riel13 OP Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Why is it, whenever I am on a downer, I feel ugly... Never stupid, or like a terrible person or crap parent/sister/friend... Always fucking ugly, unfanciable, invisible... And fat(ok so I am actually fat but ya know)... Does my bloody head in!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry your feeling like that OP, you look amazing

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

You're not ugly

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By *urious-Switch81Man
over a year ago

Heanor

"Why is it, whenever I am on a downer, I feel ugly... Never stupid, or like a terrible person or crap parent/sister/friend... Always fucking ugly, unfanciable, invisible... And fat(ok so I am actually fat but ya know)... Does my bloody head in!

I think you look very nice, I like the dinosaur dress. I think it's quite common to feel that way my ex always did when she was in a downer. But it'll pass try and take your mind off it by doing something you enjoy.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Because we're made to believe we have to be beautiful to be liked, loved, successful etc.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Are your downers triggered by the same thing, or do you feel that way about anything that gets you down?

Could it be linked to how you have been treated in the past, with people calling you ugly when they were being nasty?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Because we're made to believe we have to be beautiful to be liked, loved, successful etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know that feeling well. But you are not in anyway ugly x

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By *alty surpriseMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

We all feel ugly in one way or another ..I'm sure it's only superficial...your be getting lots of positive comments .

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By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley

You know where I am when you’re on a downer

#i’llputasmileonyoureface

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By *riel13 OP Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Sorry, I didn't want this to be a look at me/sympathy thread... It just pisses me off that it's always my perception of my attractiveness or lack there of that is affected, nothing else... We are taught some horrible things to torture ourselves with as adults

... Thing is, I might be fine again in a bloody hour... You're all lovely though, thank you

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Sending you a big cuddle OP.

Those times of feeling ugly are pretty shit.

Don't be so hard on yourself...easier said than done maybe...but don't xx

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Does anything help when you feel like this?

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By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley

"Sending you a big cuddle OP.

Those times of feeling ugly are pretty shit.

Don't be so hard on yourself...easier said than done maybe...but don't xx"

Here here

What this sexy lady said

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Because as women we're taught our entire lives that it's the most important thing for us to be pretty.

I'm sorry you're feeling down OP.

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By *riel13 OP Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

No trigger at all mostly, I get it when I am hormonal but thats too early and it's "everything is terrible" then lol but I understand that... I'll be ok, it just bugs me that it's howbI look, over anything else, that I feel (I don't give a shit, too much, usually) ... Thanks guys! (really needs a kissy face emoji on here) much love to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're not ugly

What he said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With me, I look in the mirror, feel ugly, then end up on a downer!

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I think we all sabotage ourselves when we are low op

You're not ugly at all and seem sound on the forum's .

Keep smiling and hopefully it will pass !x

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

Nah, you're definitely are not ugly that's for sure

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By *riel13 OP Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

"I think we all sabotage ourselves when we are low op

You're not ugly at all and seem sound on the forum's .

Keep smiling and hopefully it will pass !x"

I'm trying... Like I said, I might be fine in an hour or a minute, ya know... It's fucked up... Ne'mind

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By *ing of the CastleMan
over a year ago

liverpool

I’m sorry you’re feeling low, I know plenty of people who had tattoos and now regret them. Have you considered getting them removed?

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

Feel very much the same as you. Wouldn't mind but I definitely value so many things more than my looks, but that is where I get hit.

"Because we're made to believe we have to be beautiful to be liked, loved, successful etc.

This hits the nail on the head. Many hugs for your down days and hoping they pass by swiftly

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By *riel13 OP Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

"Feel very much the same as you. Wouldn't mind but I definitely value so many things more than my looks, but that is where I get hit.

Because we're made to believe we have to be beautiful to be liked, loved, successful etc.

This hits the nail on the head. Many hugs for your down days and hoping they pass by swiftly

Thanks n right back at ya!

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"I’m sorry you’re feeling low, I know plenty of people who had tattoos and now regret them. Have you considered getting them removed?"

Where did she mention tattoos?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a good question. Reading some of the answers I wonder if this affects more women than men? I don't think women are more likely to be concerned about their looks but from a very young age looks are used way more as a way of praising girls and could perhaps then result in them being used to self sabotage?

Trying to think what ways I judge myself. Weight is one, particularly when the scales are telling me it's true, looks a little but not especially so, I'm fairly happy with my ok, slightly below average self assessment and this doesn't really change. Being boring/weird/different are probably the most likely to bother me.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

Know that feeling well, OP. And I think most of my female friends do too. It's bloody weird isn't? Judging our worth by our looks? And we judge ourself far too harshly.

You are so pretty, with lovely hair.

Feel better soon. If I was nearer, I'd let you have some of my cake...xx

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

I hear ya! It's exactly where my brain goes too when I'm having a bad moment x

Tg x

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

I get this and Fab doesn't help. It's all about P and I am discarded. Absolute no help for men on here.

Maybe I should grow tits.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"Because we're made to believe we have to be beautiful to be liked, loved, successful etc.

I like you due to your initial peomise of banana bread. Never seen you but that initial flippant remark is key.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"I’m sorry you’re feeling low, I know plenty of people who had tattoos and now regret them. Have you considered getting them removed?"

Fuck no. We should show people who they are and love them for that.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Because as women we're taught our entire lives that it's the most important thing for us to be pretty.

I'm sorry you're feeling down OP. "

Exactly this. We place so much emphasis on being pretty or not, whether that's from internal or external forces, we can rationalise and say we're x, y and z but when it comes to our looks it's far more linked to our self worth than we might care to admit.

I do the same. Awful hangover Sunday, convinced myself I was ugly and you know... all the hideous stuff. Undesirable because I'm soooooo ugly. But now I'm in a better place and I don't think that.

I hope you get to that place soon. xx

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

I hear ya! It's exactly where my brain goes too when I'm having a bad moment x

Tg x"

Same here. Some days I can't look in a mirror. It never manifests itself in the other ways you describe. Some days I can't pick 1 positive thing on my appearance to focus on. But as you say it goes as quickly as it comes.

Just need to straighten our crown and fake it til we make it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know the feeling all too well. Don’t let it get to you OP

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By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

Because it's very easy to judge your own self-worth by how you look and I challenge anyone not to find something visual/physical about themselves that they they are 100% happy with.

Therefore it's a guaranteed 100% outcome that the thing you find within yourself will make you feel unhappy.

So the question is therefore, knowing that it's easy to find things about ourselves that make us unhappy, why do we do it ?

It's my belief that it's an avoidance / defence mechanism.

And the real kicker is, whatever the real reasons are for our unhappiness, it'd be entirely possible we ignore it and substitute it for something else we can identify.

I'd recommend some therapy to talk through your feelings and life with a neutral counsellor and see what emerges.

Hope you feel better in mind, spirit and soul soon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Relatable

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

No way are you ugly!!

Sending you big hugs from Kent xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey op! I think you’re gorgeous. You’ve got incredibly sultry eyes, a warm genuine smile, your hair is awesome, love your tats and you have impeccable style! I also own a dinosaur dress but it’s no way near as cool as yours!!

Lots of love xxxxx

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

Our brains know all the best ways to hurt us for maximum effect! Sending love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m sorry you’re feeling low, I know plenty of people who had tattoos and now regret them. Have you considered getting them removed?"

Why have you said this? She hasn’t mentioned her tattoos?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op - there’s lots of good advice here, have you tried sitting with it/journaling to see what comes up for you, just write whatever comes into your head, and then read it back?

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Because society has taught you from a young age that your worth as a person is heavily dependent on how attractive you are. So you subconsciously focus on that

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By *vasexperimentWoman
over a year ago

huddersfield

"Because as women we're taught our entire lives that it's the most important thing for us to be pretty.

I'm sorry you're feeling down OP.

I do the same. Awful hangover Sunday, convinced myself I was ugly and you know... all the hideous stuff. Undesirable because I'm soooooo ugly. But now I'm in a better place and I don't think that.

I hope you get to that place soon. xx"

Those days / episodes are awful .

I’ve been there .

We can have a thousand good qualities and bring love and positivity to those around us but only see ourselves as saggy , flawed , ugly etc .

It is the result social conditioning from birth .

Sometimes it’s hard to see yourself as desirable with your perceived flaws as we live in a society that values youth above all else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves that a feeling is neither right nor wrong, it's just a feeling and more often than not, based upon emotions and not facts and it passes. We need to remind ourselves at times like these, that we look the same as we did a few weeks ago when we were strutting and smiling at the everyone and the world....same person.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"Because as women we're taught our entire lives that it's the most important thing for us to be pretty.

I'm sorry you're feeling down OP.

I do the same. Awful hangover Sunday, convinced myself I was ugly and you know... all the hideous stuff. Undesirable because I'm soooooo ugly. But now I'm in a better place and I don't think that.

I hope you get to that place soon. xx"

Ciao Bella

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By *riel13 OP Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Thank you for your support and advice, you wonderful people... Luckily, today seems to be a better day! It just gets on my nerves that I feel like that, even when I have just liked seeing myself in the mirror... People, make no bloody sense, I find, far too often

Nevermind, today is another day, much love to you all! (still no kissy face)

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

Our brains can really be our worst enemies can't they?

Whatever other see (which isn't ugly btw but I guess you figured that already from all the folk above

), our minds eye gets clouded sometimes.

Hope it clears up soon though

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