FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Worst ever sex you've had

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

And why ...go

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Define sex OP

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/06/22 16:17:35]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aughty but nice...Man
over a year ago

Staffs

Just before last Christmas met with a lady I'd been chatting to for a while the banter was great when we met we clicked straight away and were soon in bed

But the passion killer was when she went down on me her teeth grazed against the old man quite painfully to the point I wasn't turned on anymore and couldn't continue

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wlmanMan
over a year ago

Rugby

Girl I fancied for years, I may as well have ducked a plank. She just lay there while I went down on her and didn’t move when I fucked her.

Was talking to a friend a few days later who told me that she was the same with him.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"Girl I fancied for years, I may as well have ducked a plank. "

Are you Eric Sykes?????

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/06/22 16:25:12]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When she bit my lip my nip my belly hard on the way to my cock

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wlmanMan
over a year ago

Rugby


"Girl I fancied for years, I may as well have ducked a plank.

Are you Eric Sykes?????"

Damm autocorrect

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ana_nana_MATTMAN!Man
over a year ago

Haywood Village, Weston-super-Mare

Had a girl in January. She talked the talk, lead me into the bedroom, seemed very keen, then once she was undressed she dead-fished me. Just laid there, motionless, barely making a sound.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place


"Had a girl in January. She talked the talk, lead me into the bedroom, seemed very keen, then once she was undressed she dead-fished me. Just laid there, motionless, barely making a sound."

I've had that. It's very disappointing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looks like I’ll be the first to say that it was my fault.

My first time. No idea what I was doing, not even sure I got it in properly. Disrupted by someone knocking on the door.

My skill have improved by a massive 7% since then so it’s all good

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She had braces. I think you can figure out why things got rather painful...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Had a girl in January. She talked the talk, lead me into the bedroom, seemed very keen, then once she was undressed she dead-fished me. Just laid there, motionless, barely making a sound."

I mean I'm not saying I do this, but also how are you meant to move about when you're on the bottom?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Micropenis. Long time ago. Couldn't feel it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster


"Had a girl in January. She talked the talk, lead me into the bedroom, seemed very keen, then once she was undressed she dead-fished me. Just laid there, motionless, barely making a sound."

I've had a similar experience. No noise, nothing. Then she just said "I've cum". Zero cues. I just fumbled an excuse and said goodbye.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ana_nana_MATTMAN!Man
over a year ago

Haywood Village, Weston-super-Mare


"Had a girl in January. She talked the talk, lead me into the bedroom, seemed very keen, then once she was undressed she dead-fished me. Just laid there, motionless, barely making a sound.

I mean I'm not saying I do this, but also how are you meant to move about when you're on the bottom? "

When I say "motionless, and barely making a sound", I mean, if it wasn't for the fact that her eyes were open, I might've started checking for a pulse

If you're on the bottom, you're not expected to move around all that much, I'm gonna be doing the bulk of the work, but I'd hope you would at least look alive.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had one bad experience. It was that long ago that I don't remember it lol. Perks of being a giver lol x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place


"Had a girl in January. She talked the talk, lead me into the bedroom, seemed very keen, then once she was undressed she dead-fished me. Just laid there, motionless, barely making a sound.

I mean I'm not saying I do this, but also how are you meant to move about when you're on the bottom? "

What about before that? Do you give oral, or kiss, or show any signs of enthusiasm?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

First time was a bit crap. Apart from that I’ve not had any bad sex

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

[Removed by poster at 20/06/22 17:31:03]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Maybe they thought you where crap "

Me? Didn’t get chance to be crap .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Probably the guy who rubbed me so raw I couldn't actually have penetrative sex with him because he made me so sore.

There's also the one that spat in my face with no prior discussion, kept insisting he could cum from a blowjob and stay hard (he seemed to think I'd find it very impressive) and then it turned out he couldn't. He then got angry with his dick, made a cup of tea and the left to get KFC instead.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington


"Maybe they thought you where crap

Me? Didn’t get chance to be crap . "

wasn’t aimed at you although when I read it it looked like it was hence the quick removal I was getting at all the above who blamed the other person maybe they thought you as in them where crap

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Maybe they thought you where crap

Me? Didn’t get chance to be crap . wasn’t aimed at you although when I read it it looked like it was hence the quick removal I was getting at all the above who blamed the other person maybe they thought you as in them where crap "

it’s fine. I’ve stopped crying now

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington


"Maybe they thought you where crap

Me? Didn’t get chance to be crap . wasn’t aimed at you although when I read it it looked like it was hence the quick removal I was getting at all the above who blamed the other person maybe they thought you as in them where crap

it’s fine. I’ve stopped crying now "

glad I cleared it up

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worst experience opened my eyes to fab. Great lass but no sexual compatibility

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ommy_73Man
over a year ago

Herts & London

My first time was absolutely terrible.

We were both extremely smashed. I was a teenager. So was her son (I bumped into him on the way out). Luckily her boyfriend wasn't there. He was in prison.

She was at least 30 years older than me and I really didn't find her attractive. Still, when you're young, d*unk and horny you tend to do some stupid things.

Talking of stupid things - we did it bareback. And AIDS was big, big news at the time.The next day I had to persuade a good friend to a) take me to get tested and b) never tell a soul.

Still, she gave me a bike to ride home on.

But just to cap off my shitty night the chain snapped as I rode it back.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My left hand is no where near as good as my right

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My left hand is no where near as good as my right "

I’m a southpaw

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a bi guy and years ago I was in some toilets and black guy kept looking at me when I was stood at the urinals.i looked at his cock and it was very big.he told me to follow him outside.he walked into a wooded area so I followed him and he said he wanted to fuck me.i was expecting a really good hard fuck but it was hugely dissapointing.i pulled my jeans and pants down and he got behind me and was basically jabbing his cock at my bumhole.he didn't even enter me when he suddenly said oh god sorry and shot his load over the floor instead.he pulled his pants up and walked off leaving me very frustrated and disappointed.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the sex.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Jesus rubbed sore .....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My left hand fell asleep, so the right had to take over

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s sex !

I’m all rusty

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *S chanel demarTV/TS
over a year ago

peterborough

With my hand, because its boring.....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Had a girl in January. She talked the talk, lead me into the bedroom, seemed very keen, then once she was undressed she dead-fished me. Just laid there, motionless, barely making a sound.

I mean I'm not saying I do this, but also how are you meant to move about when you're on the bottom?

When I say "motionless, and barely making a sound", I mean, if it wasn't for the fact that her eyes were open, I might've started checking for a pulse

If you're on the bottom, you're not expected to move around all that much, I'm gonna be doing the bulk of the work, but I'd hope you would at least look alive."

Ah okay yeah I'm definitely in the clear then

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I've ever had bad sex. For me, at least, it's always been pleasant at worst.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

w

She seemed like she hated every second of it. To the point I stopped like 5 times to check she was ok. After the 5th time I just said I can’t do this and left. She seemed confused but was ok with it. Weirdly enough we met once and that happened, maybe about 1.5 years ago, and we still chat weekly on insta about our dating success/failures

It was weird

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had lady that bit instead of suck

Embarrassing in ae

Blood all over my new chinos

And had bun em

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.

Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.

Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.

I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.

More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.

Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.

I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".

My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!

The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.

Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.

Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.

I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.

More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.

Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.

I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".

My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!

The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that! "

Erm .. Wtf

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World


"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.

Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.

Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.

I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.

More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.

Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.

I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".

My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!

The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that!

Erm .. Wtf "

See... you don't know all my secrets yet! Ha ha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oungalpha20Man
over a year ago

North West /Cumbria

When I was about 21 this older woman in her early 40s had the hots for me. I've always liked older woman. We didn't hook up straight away, went out a few times to get to know each other. When the time came to getting naughty, I was like a kid on Christmas day. I rolled her on top, to my surprise she laid there like a plank of wood. Haven't spoke to her since.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

You know who you are

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.

Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.

Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.

I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.

More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.

Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.

I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".

My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!

The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that! "

This is so fucking dodge. Not only did that guy screw over his brother, but he had sex with you under the guise of being someone else. Like, literally just following someone you don't know to the shower and getting in with them is creepy as hell. That's definitely not okay

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I *AM* other peoples worst sex.

Mine was when I met a couple off here one of my very first Fab meets years ago, she was vigorously wanking me off then caused a blood injury on my wee willy winkle with the sharp prong on her diamond ring..

That brought an end to that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You know who you are "

Come on!!

Your floor is a minefield

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.

Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.

Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.

I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.

More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.

Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.

I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".

My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!

The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that!

Erm .. Wtf

See... you don't know all my secrets yet! Ha ha "

Apparently not

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Was with a guy who thought rubbing his palm up and down my vulva ridiculously fast would get me off....no love it just caused friction burns

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *appytochatMan
over a year ago

Deep in the New Forest

Had to use my left hand once .. Never again

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One night stand when on a break from hubby. Wanted a long evening, over in a flash

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.

Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.

Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.

I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.

More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.

Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.

I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".

My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!

The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that! "

Hahahahaha utter bullshit

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.

Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.

Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.

I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.

More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.

Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.

I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".

My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!

The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that!

This is so fucking dodge. Not only did that guy screw over his brother, but he had sex with you under the guise of being someone else. Like, literally just following someone you don't know to the shower and getting in with them is creepy as hell. That's definitely not okay "

You believe it? Lol. Ridiculous story lol x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Was with a guy who thought rubbing his palm up and down my vulva ridiculously fast would get me off....no love it just caused friction burns "

Did we sleep with the same guy?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lex D.Man
over a year ago

London


"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.

Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.

Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.

I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.

More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.

Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.

I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".

My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!

The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that! "

Some story this..This has to go on twitter's Friday confessions.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With Carl!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.

Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.

Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.

I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.

More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.

Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.

I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".

My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!

The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that!

This is so fucking dodge. Not only did that guy screw over his brother, but he had sex with you under the guise of being someone else. Like, literally just following someone you don't know to the shower and getting in with them is creepy as hell. That's definitely not okay

You believe it? Lol. Ridiculous story lol x"

Be a bit sad to make it up, no?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow


"Was with a guy who thought rubbing his palm up and down my vulva ridiculously fast would get me off....no love it just caused friction burns

Did we sleep with the same guy? "

Haha

Tg x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *onkeynutWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

Well, there was the guy I puked on while on top or the guy with sandpaper for hands who rubbed my clit like he was sanding down a door frame, or the one who wanted doggy, only I wasn’t allowed to move an inch while in position (I walked out mid session on that one)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fancied her, she was awesome, the little fella wouldn't work properly. 'Is it me?' is the question you never want to hear. Awful

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no idea if I have had bad sex or not. Need to try and compare with others to find out

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uicy mushroomMan
over a year ago

elephant and Castle


"And why ...go"

Couldn't feel much as too small

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Late night spur of the moment invite, when I got to their place she was d*unk, doesn’t kiss, doesn’t suck cock, it was basically stick your cock in her, cum and go. Not for me sorry, enjoy your night……

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilffadMan
over a year ago

swansea

Either the one who puked all over me, or the one whose colostomy bag burst and there was crap over both of us. In both instances, we got to shower but not in the best of circumstances!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...


"Micropenis. Long time ago. Couldn't feel it."

FFS. We said we'd never talk of this again.......

Winston

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I regurgitated a tuna/mayo sandwich on cock once.

I did warn him I can't deepthroat after eating.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"I regurgitated a tuna/mayo sandwich on cock once.

I did warn him I can't deepthroat after eating.

"

Sorry but

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orthmanMan
over a year ago

Kendal


"I regurgitated a tuna/mayo sandwich on cock once.

I did warn him I can't deepthroat after eating.

"

So I guess that was tuna and mayo on a crusty cob to go

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *unnyday321Man
over a year ago

everywhere

Fast and frantic….before realising when sucking her beautiful nipples that she had BO…from her armpits…

Went from hard to flat like a balloon and had to pull a sickie!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

It was a club meet and it was awful that’s all I’m saying

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre


"Had a girl in January. She talked the talk, lead me into the bedroom, seemed very keen, then once she was undressed she dead-fished me. Just laid there, motionless, barely making a sound.

I mean I'm not saying I do this, but also how are you meant to move about when you're on the bottom?

When I say "motionless, and barely making a sound", I mean, if it wasn't for the fact that her eyes were open, I might've started checking for a pulse

If you're on the bottom, you're not expected to move around all that much, I'm gonna be doing the bulk of the work, but I'd hope you would at least look alive."

I am sorry to laugh at your experience but this is funny AF

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre


"She seemed like she hated every second of it. To the point I stopped like 5 times to check she was ok. After the 5th time I just said I can’t do this and left. She seemed confused but was ok with it. Weirdly enough we met once and that happened, maybe about 1.5 years ago, and we still chat weekly on insta about our dating success/failures

It was weird "

Sounds like it is still weird!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

During my uni days, I used to visit a particular club with a hot female bouncer who used to check me out all the time. So after seeing her a couple of times, I asked her out.

Date night comes, we go for drinks and have a great time, so much so that we head to mine.

Got back to mine, opened a bottle of time, and things start heating up. She opens her legs, I stick my hands down there and suddenly it’s like I am in Billingsgate Fish Market. Beautiful girl, but the smell was so bad, my little friend just said to me, “you are on your own”!

I really couldn’t if I wanted to, so made some excuses about my doctor advising me about abstaining from sex for a few weeks.

Poor girl, to this day she still doesn’t know why it never happened.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre


"Either the one who puked all over me, or the one whose colostomy bag burst and there was crap over both of us. In both instances, we got to shower but not in the best of circumstances!"

OMG! Yuck!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

w


"When I was around 19 ish I went round to my boyfriends house (only been together a week) so all very new to me.

Had some naughty time together and then I went for a shower.

Bathroom door opened, "boyfriend" got in the shower with me.

I kept looking at him thinking he looked slightly different and decided it was because he was all wet.

More sex followed which was loads better than what we had just had together in the bedroom.

Shower finished "boyfriend" left me to get dried off.

I went back to the boyfriends bedroom to get dressed , and got asked " why didn't I wait for him to join me".

My so called "new boyfriend" had a twin brother that I hadn't yet met!

The twin was so much better at the sex stuff as well, the relationship didn't last the weekend after that! "

Rape is fine as long as the sex is good

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rhugesMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

When a toy got sucked up into her arse

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When a toy got sucked up into her arse "

Had you already stuck a dyson in there??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a power wank once and slipped off, nearly broke my wrist.

I don't think I've ever had bad sex in the presence of a woman. Obviously I can't speak for the women....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Was the first time after being celibate for 13 years! Hurt so much it was a very thick cock! Actually made me bleed! At the age of 60 x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton


"Was the first time after being celibate for 13 years! Hurt so much it was a very thick cock! Actually made me bleed! At the age of 60 x"

Born again virgin

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"Was the first time after being celibate for 13 years! Hurt so much it was a very thick cock! Actually made me bleed! At the age of 60 x

Born again virgin"

Literally yes! X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heonixrising500Man
over a year ago

Barnsley

Once had a lady push her vibrator up my arse all the way in and my arse closed behind it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Wow impressive that it could do that lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *S chanel demarTV/TS
over a year ago

peterborough

I feel quite sick after reading some of these....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mMrbrightsideMan
over a year ago

wakefield

In a swingers club with a couple in a private room just about to enjoy ourselves when they banged on the door shouting out my reg number as id blocked someone in. By the time I found a space and got back in they’d finished and were leaving

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All sex I’ve had has been terrible…starting to think it’s me that’s the problem lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first time was hilarious looking back now. He spent so long trying to put a condom on that I got bored and started playing snake on his Nokia. Obviously would lend a helping hand now haha.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Was still better than a wank.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

I stopped halfway through my first and went to play guitar. It may have been mostly my fault that it wasn't great...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ekkatransTV/TS
over a year ago

Scarborough

Girl I’d fancied for ages, ended up in a field with her, her bra was held on with safety pins and her knickers looked like granny ones, it kinda put a downer on my sex drive lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Does it really matter when there all coming off mate

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lex.and.SexCouple
over a year ago

Bedale

Picked up a lovely very sweet young lady a few years ago. Everything was going swimmingly. Until I went down on her and found that her lady garden smelled like a burning tyre bonfire at a seafood processing plant. That is the only description I can give.

I actually gipped, and I've been round the block plenty of times, this was not normal

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ekkatransTV/TS
over a year ago

Scarborough


"Does it really matter when there all coming off mate "

It probably didn’t but at the time it did lol, if I had my time again.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I've had to use my left hand a few times, was bloody awful

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

With my ex-wife. I hated her, she hated me. It was boring. I only did it because she demanded it and it wasn't worth the hassle refusing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol


"Probably the guy who rubbed me so raw I couldn't actually have penetrative sex with him because he made me so sore.

There's also the one that spat in my face with no prior discussion, kept insisting he could cum from a blowjob and stay hard (he seemed to think I'd find it very impressive) and then it turned out he couldn't. He then got angry with his dick, made a cup of tea and the left to get KFC instead. "

Sometimes a KFC is all a guy needs.

Just saying…

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol


"Picked up a lovely very sweet young lady a few years ago. Everything was going swimmingly. Until I went down on her and found that her lady garden smelled like a burning tyre bonfire at a seafood processing plant. That is the only description I can give.

I actually gipped, and I've been round the block plenty of times, this was not normal "

I’ve come across this sort of thing. I believe it’s some kind of yeast infection? (Ladies can correct if wrong I’m sure)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Picked up a lovely very sweet young lady a few years ago. Everything was going swimmingly. Until I went down on her and found that her lady garden smelled like a burning tyre bonfire at a seafood processing plant. That is the only description I can give.

I actually gipped, and I've been round the block plenty of times, this was not normal

I’ve come across this sort of thing. I believe it’s some kind of yeast infection? (Ladies can correct if wrong I’m sure)"

More likely to be bacterial vaginosis which can ironically be caused by over washing or cleaning with soaps that are too harsh or scented.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol


"Picked up a lovely very sweet young lady a few years ago. Everything was going swimmingly. Until I went down on her and found that her lady garden smelled like a burning tyre bonfire at a seafood processing plant. That is the only description I can give.

I actually gipped, and I've been round the block plenty of times, this was not normal

I’ve come across this sort of thing. I believe it’s some kind of yeast infection? (Ladies can correct if wrong I’m sure)

More likely to be bacterial vaginosis which can ironically be caused by over washing or cleaning with soaps that are too harsh or scented. "

Yes bacteria ??

I’d heard that too.

Anyway, moving on!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/06/22 22:22:55]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

A meet from here years ago. I turned up and let her know I’d arrived, didn’t hear anything back for ages before getting a messages asking me to wait 10 min.

One inside she was already looking a bit flushed and didn’t smell all too fresh. Halfway through she told me to keep the noise down as her kids were asleep in the next room at which point I made my excuses.

Sure enough her next meet was already parked up outside - I always wondered how many blokes she’d got through that day.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *unner6969Man
over a year ago

Herts/Bucks

I’ve experienced the ‘no movement’ sex but she said it was perfect in spite of my concerns and asked to see me again. Was a bit better the next time but no real chemistry.

Strangely disappointing was with a date that went brilliantly. We got back to her flat and I was really enjoying touching her and she was very very responsive. Then she had a massive orgasm and was so sensitive, she couldn’t bear to be touched sexually again. To be fair, she was keen to finish me off but I lost the urge in my shock, I really had only started the foreplay…

Sadly, we weren’t able to meet again because my location changed suddenly with work. Always wonder how that might have worked out.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *omRachCouple
over a year ago

Wirral


"Girl I fancied for years, I may as well have ducked a plank. She just lay there while I went down on her and didn’t move when I fucked her.

Was talking to a friend a few days later who told me that she was the same with him."

Very similar story here, she d*unkenly seduced me and took back to hers - the most boring uneventful shag ever. I've seen bags of King Eddy's move more

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilffadMan
over a year ago

swansea

You say that, but this is not dip your dick and get out. You must must have compassion and understanding in any relationship. The fact these things hsppened, both were accidents. Sometimes, step back and view the situation


"Either the one who puked all over me, or the one whose colostomy bag burst and there was crap over both of us. In both instances, we got to shower but not in the best of circumstances!

OMG! Yuck!! "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lueeyes1973Man
over a year ago

Crawley

Recently and my fault

Had a hot wife come to my hotel who was lovely but my head was all about blasting when she wanted something quick....took me a few mins to adjust....felt a bit of a twat...but now i know lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Picked up a lovely very sweet young lady a few years ago. Everything was going swimmingly. Until I went down on her and found that her lady garden smelled like a burning tyre bonfire at a seafood processing plant. That is the only description I can give.

I actually gipped, and I've been round the block plenty of times, this was not normal

I’ve come across this sort of thing. I believe it’s some kind of yeast infection? (Ladies can correct if wrong I’m sure)

More likely to be bacterial vaginosis which can ironically be caused by over washing or cleaning with soaps that are too harsh or scented.

Yes bacteria ??

I’d heard that too.

Anyway, moving on! "

Or they have just had sex

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The same problem as a previous poster. I experienced a lady who came back too my place with a Stinky Minky it smelt like Grimsby on a Warm day it was feckin barking.

After saying to her I was going to the toilet I came back and said sorry I’m not feeling very well and would you mind leaving it tonight.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"During my uni days, I used to visit a particular club with a hot female bouncer who used to check me out all the time. So after seeing her a couple of times, I asked her out.

Date night comes, we go for drinks and have a great time, so much so that we head to mine.

Got back to mine, opened a bottle of time, and things start heating up. She opens her legs, I stick my hands down there and suddenly it’s like I am in Billingsgate Fish Market. Beautiful girl, but the smell was so bad, my little friend just said to me, “you are on your own”!

I really couldn’t if I wanted to, so made some excuses about my doctor advising me about abstaining from sex for a few weeks.

Poor girl, to this day she still doesn’t know why it never happened."

Same totall yuk!!

One of the worst things that can happen. Dont people know,or are aware of thier own smells!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

These are good anymore stories

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top