FabSwingers.com forum: Confidence

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Has fab helped or crushed your confidence. Im a naturally confident man but fab is starting to dent that.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

My confidence spans many facets and not just my ability to get sex meets off the internet. If anything it helps it when they do say yes!

If its not working for you, you should change your approach, even if that means leaving fab and trying other things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So your telling me someone you haven't met in real life has crushed your confidence?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be successful here, you have to be prepared to be patient and put in a whole lot of effort.

An eye catching profile bio, a variation of pictures and a decent message, all to catch the eye in order to sell yourself.

It can be tough for all, but from a single male perspective it can be tough in that you have a lot of competition.

Effort may help but it could still take time.

If being here is becoming a negative, maybe it's time to re-evaluate.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So your telling me someone you haven't met in real life has crushed your confidence?"
I never said mine was crushed just dented

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Fab probably works better for women with low confidence

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its not the lack of interest it's more the rejection after pics etc

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I wouldn’t say it’s given me more confidence but it has made me realise more men prefer curvier women than I thought.

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

"Has fab helped or crushed your confidence. Im a naturally confident man but fab is starting to dent that."

We would honestly say is if this is how it is, then maybe you should consider leaving the site.

You may never actually meet anyone, and if this site is denting your confidence already, well maybe it isn't for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How can a website crush your confidence?

Do you mean the people?

My confidence is up and down but that’s natural isn’t it? The answer is yes, you are right Woody. Different situations and that…

If you find yours is dropping because of your lack of offers of sex on fab, maybe it’s just your ego your talking about. Just a thought.

Maybe it’s all tied together, I don’t know, I’m not a doctor but what I do know is my personal confidence and my sexual confidence is two very different things. Op, please make it clear what we are talking about

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

Why is it that people say that they have no problem meeting and shagging people in real life but can’t on here…? What is the difference? People are people, you meet, talk to them- obviously there is a lack of body language, but if people are very successful “pulling” down the pub- A) Why not here and B) Why are they online and not down the pub?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has fab helped or crushed your confidence. Im a naturally confident man but fab is starting to dent that."

I don’t expect to meet ladies or couples on this platform. Better success elsewhere for me .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has fab helped or crushed your confidence. Im a naturally confident man but fab is starting to dent that."

When you reached out for help and support like this, I bet you weren’t expecting people in the comments to be quite as lacking in compassion and humility.

My advice OP is to write out on a piece of paper what your worth and value is. What makes you a decent guy. What makes you a good person. What makes you interesting to others. Why would you be a good proposition to meet.

Validate your “self” and give yourself a hug. In the meantime, roll with the punches and rejections in here and maybe have a look at how you’re approaching people on here. You’ve given no indication of what you’re experiencing, but I imagine - as with most guys- it’s a lack of getting through to people. Try and think about why that might be, if that’s the case. Try and stand out by talking positively about those things you wrote out.

Happy to talk further. Take care of yourself OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it that people say that they have no problem meeting and shagging people in real life but can’t on here…? What is the difference? People are people, you meet, talk to them- obviously there is a lack of body language, but if people are very successful “pulling” down the pub- A) Why not here and B) Why are they online and not down the pub?

I have precisely the opposite experience. I seem to connect with people easily when I tried Bimble, but it’s incredibly challenging here. There’s an interesting theory in there around the “flexibility” in peoples standards and outlooks, as being different, depending on what platform they’re searching from. At least I think so! X

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

It hasn't crushed my confidence, but it HAS made me cynical.

If the negative outweighs the positive, take care of yourself and find another dating avenue.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It hasn't crushed my confidence, but it HAS made me cynical.

If the negative outweighs the positive, take care of yourself and find another dating avenue."

Yes. It's made me a lot more cynical.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s given me a lot of confidence I’m grateful for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has fab helped or crushed your confidence. Im a naturally confident man but fab is starting to dent that.

When you reached out for help and support like this, I bet you weren’t expecting people in the comments to be quite as lacking in compassion and humility.

Happy to talk further. Take care of yourself OP "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It hasn't crushed my confidence, but it HAS made me cynical.

If the negative outweighs the positive, take care of yourself and find another dating avenue."

Love to know what you find cynical about people on fabs .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It hasn't crushed my confidence, but it HAS made me cynical.

If the negative outweighs the positive, take care of yourself and find another dating avenue.

Yes. It's made me a lot more cynical. "

I’ll be the first male to agree here, to point.

I take people on face value, but I’ve learned never to be surprised. Text never holds enough detail for me to know everything I want to know.

So the fab hasn’t made me less confident just weary.

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

I’m a confident woman always have been, I learned to love myself and accept my flaws, there is no amount of fabs that would make me feel validated as a human being and no amount of strangers ignorance that will take that away. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The brutal reality is that Fab’ is a an extremely unforgiving place for a lot of guys. It can be a spirit crusher if you let it get to you.

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

What we will say though, is if you want to be successful on here as a single guy, then surely how you present yourself is absolutely essential and just common sense?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I think it must be difficult for single men on here at times. Why not step away and focus on things that do spark joy for you? If it's denting your confidence repeatedly, that's not healthy. You should love yourself OP and as much as possible, remind yourself of all the qualities you have and why you should be confident.

I think my experience as a vaguely fuckable woman is very different to that of a man's so I won't share it. But I do hope your confidence is dent free soon.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"Has fab helped or crushed your confidence. Im a naturally confident man but fab is starting to dent that."

I would say fab has helped my confidence. I don’t really like busy crowded bars etc - my height means I spend the whole night bending over and missing half the chat. I can’t be bothered with that. Fab has meant I can find like minded people without all the preening and posing. I enjoy that.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"It hasn't crushed my confidence, but it HAS made me cynical.

If the negative outweighs the positive, take care of yourself and find another dating avenue.

Love to know what you find cynical about people on fabs . "

Smoke and mirrors and people who are all things to all men.

They play to their audience and present a particular forum image but are the complete opposite privately.

I can understand how it can make people more cynical and how it can affect confidence.

The usual advice is to just avoid those who give you grief but unfortunately many of those don't like to let go once they have their teeth in something and they make it their mission to influence the experience of others.

That can also affect confidence after a while.

It hasn't affected my confidence one way or the other but I rarely give anyone on here a second chance now because of the games.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s given me a lot of confidence I’m grateful for it

No one likes a show off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s made me understand why I’ve been single so long. Can’t say it’s dented my confidence though.

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"Its not the lack of interest it's more the rejection after pics etc "

I can understand that. Easier said than done, but mustn't let it get to you. You say you're normally a confident guy, so just remember all the reasons outside of Fab that contribute to that.

My confidence (highs or lows) doesn't stem from Fab (luckily!), but I do get that Fab can make it worse on a bad day! Just got to remember this is a very small part of the universe, mate, so don't invest too much of your confidence in it, if that's makes sense.

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

It goes up and down on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It made me quite confident in ways, especially sexually and what I like and don’t like in the bedroom

Also made me realise some stuff about guys, but hey, I still managed to find some really respectful and good eggs on here even if it’s a sex site

Great experience overall x

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Helped.

I have worked on the way I talk to people at socials and at meets.

Also I never thought I could go into a club environment and thrive. Wandering around naked and performing in an open environment came very easy.

I am thankful for a lot of doors fab opened for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its not the lack of interest it's more the rejection after pics etc "

I get what you mean. I'd say I'm pretty confident in person and Fab has helped a lot with that as it's such an open community, you can say things without too much fear of judgement but over messaging when it goes silent after sending face pics, it can be a bit soul destroying and make you look deeper at flaws others may not notice.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"It hasn't crushed my confidence, but it HAS made me cynical.

Love to know what you find cynical about people on fabs . "

You've misunderstood. They didn't say that others were cynical, they spoke only for themselves, having perceived *themselves* more cynical now.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Has fab helped or crushed your confidence. Im a naturally confident man but fab is starting to dent that."

It's some pixels.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Post like this baffle me. Will you continue to spray and pray or will you go to more socials

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab has actually given me more confidence in the real world...I dont get half as much attention as I do on here

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Has fab helped or crushed your confidence. Im a naturally confident man but fab is starting to dent that.

When you reached out for help and support like this, I bet you weren’t expecting people in the comments to be quite as lacking in compassion and humility.

Happy to talk further. Take care of yourself OP "

Agreed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Helped massively and then devastatingly crushed. It's a real roller-coaster, this place.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

It comes in peaks and troughs.

Since I initially joined, my confidence has sky rocketed but at times it dents that.

I have a far better value of myself and my worth; myself as a person. That baseline is my core confidence and doesn’t change. Some things affect how I feel on a day to day level though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn’t say it’s given me more confidence but it has made me realise more men prefer curvier women than I thought. "

Same!

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Fab shouldn't be that much of an influence in your life, if it is you need to step away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab shouldn't be that much of an influence in your life, if it is you need to step away."

Nice rack

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab shouldn't be that much of an influence in your life, if it is you need to step away."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really gave ours a boost , especially body image confidence for Mrs W&W x

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By *hortarseWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk

I never let someone behind keyboard knock me down. I didn't having confidence before I come in here but that's because someone in my life was always trying to put me down. I've learnt to love myself and me what I want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has fab helped or crushed your confidence. Im a naturally confident man but fab is starting to dent that."

Has it really knocked your confidence or just dented your ego?

A lot of single guys on here don't get anywhere because of their ego's.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Has fab helped or crushed your confidence. Im a naturally confident man but fab is starting to dent that.

Has it really knocked your confidence or just dented your ego?

A lot of single guys on here don't get anywhere because of their ego's."

If this thread was started by a woman would you ask her that question too or actually consider the effect the site can have on people's confidence?

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I allowed it to dent my confidence for a while. It's not an easy site for a lot of people OP (and especially difficult for guys), and it's easy to just blithely say "oh don't take it to heart".

What I would say is that not every site will be a good match for every person, and that's not the fault of the person or the site, it's just how it is. It's brilliant when you find a site that really suits you, where things just flow smoothly, but sometimes it can take a lot of trial and error to find that site.

Struggling on here is not indicative of your worth as a person

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I don't think it has changed our confidence levels. It may be a route to some enjoyable experiences but whether it is or not doesn't really affect our confidence. I'm not really sure what the connection is.

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

It has helped me greatly

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I don't think it has had any effect on my confidence really.I am not an overly confident person especially when it comes to my looks and body. So I tend not to fall for the fake compliments you can get on here so often.

If however OP you are finding it is effecting your own confidence than maybe take a step back for a small while until you feel better about yourself again. Don't let a site and how people react to you on it effect you in your life outside of here.

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"It hasn't crushed my confidence, but it HAS made me cynical.

Love to know what you find cynical about people on fabs .

You've misunderstood. They didn't say that others were cynical, they spoke only for themselves, having perceived *themselves* more cynical now.

Correct.

After all of my interactions, experiences, conversations, and even stories from others, I'm cynical in my viewing of many of human kind. I dont like being cynical, I'm actually a ridiculously upbeat person in general, but Fab seems to showcase a high number of fuckeits that I have little patience for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has fab helped or crushed your confidence. Im a naturally confident man but fab is starting to dent that."

Yes, mine to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/06/22 16:11:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s given me a lot of confidence I’m grateful for it

No one likes a show off.

Showing off in what way? Have you got a problem?

I answered the question, that’s all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn’t say it’s given me more confidence but it has made me realise more men prefer curvier women than I thought. "

My opinion too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally let it knock my confidence when I was on before. Took a little Fab sabbatical and came back.

It's worth having a break every now and then I think. Makes you realise that this isn't real life anyway

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