FabSwingers.com forum: Help and advice please gang

By *amie Hants OP Woman
over a year ago

Atlantis

I am trying to find an attractive, witty and somewhat intelligent older gentleman. Not old old but the silver fox type.

Ideally we can spend the odd evening now and then drinking excellent wine that he will pick (I have a limited knowledge on wines), having excellent sex, and hopefully he will absolutely adore me.

In return I can offer nothing.

I’ve been loitering up and down the booze aisles but I never seem to be able to catch one. I have a large net waiting to grab one when I see one but they seem pretty elusive.

Does anyone know where I’m going wrong?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try the viagra aisle.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"I am trying to find an attractive, witty and somewhat intelligent older gentleman. Not old old but the silver fox type.

Ideally we can spend the odd evening now and then drinking excellent wine that he will pick (I have a limited knowledge on wines), having excellent sex, and hopefully he will absolutely adore me.

In return I can offer nothing.

I’ve been loitering up and down the booze aisles but I never seem to be able to catch one. I have a large net waiting to grab one when I see one but they seem pretty elusive.

Does anyone know where I’m going wrong? "

Switch from Aldi to waitrose?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

How do you feel about calling him daddy?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve got 2. But met them in bars not online and things developed from there. Both have been both fwb for years now.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie Hants OP Woman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"I am trying to find an attractive, witty and somewhat intelligent older gentleman. Not old old but the silver fox type.

Ideally we can spend the odd evening now and then drinking excellent wine that he will pick (I have a limited knowledge on wines), having excellent sex, and hopefully he will absolutely adore me.

In return I can offer nothing.

I’ve been loitering up and down the booze aisles but I never seem to be able to catch one. I have a large net waiting to grab one when I see one but they seem pretty elusive.

Does anyone know where I’m going wrong?

Switch from Aldi to waitrose?"

I’m not allowed in Waitrose. They have a no net policy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Try Majestic Wines. There always seem to be a fair few in there whenever I've been in.

Wednesday is the day... after 2 but before 5.45.

Let me know how it goes?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"I am trying to find an attractive, witty and somewhat intelligent older gentleman. Not old old but the silver fox type.

Ideally we can spend the odd evening now and then drinking excellent wine that he will pick (I have a limited knowledge on wines), having excellent sex, and hopefully he will absolutely adore me.

In return I can offer nothing.

I’ve been loitering up and down the booze aisles but I never seem to be able to catch one. I have a large net waiting to grab one when I see one but they seem pretty elusive.

Does anyone know where I’m going wrong?

Switch from Aldi to waitrose?

I’m not allowed in Waitrose. They have a no net policy "

If it is from the Duchy organic range then they let you bring any net size you want.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

It's all about bait.

Perhaps leave a bag of Werthers originals on the floor in the middle of the aisle. They can't resist them.

When they bend down, assuming they can still bend down, you can snag them in the net.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"Try the viagra aisle."

Try this.

Hold a box of viagra aloft and shout "Silver Daddy wanted. Come and get your special pills and be mine".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie Hants OP Woman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"Try Majestic Wines. There always seem to be a fair few in there whenever I've been in.

Wednesday is the day... after 2 but before 5.45.

Let me know how it goes?"

I suppose if I tied their laces together they wouldn’t be able to run away.

I’ll give this a go. Majestic wines, Wednesdays between 1400 and 1745.

Perfect.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls

Brilliant.

And they'll be able to afford the nice wines. Win.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie Hants OP Woman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls

I could hide in the bushes and wait for one to be separated from the pack. This is a great idea.

You’re in the lead so far.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are a day late with your post. Yesterday, I was right there...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the forums are anything to go by they seem to like cake

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls

Sexy caddy girl, and you could carry the golf balls and keep them warm

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls

Brilliant.

And they'll be able to afford the nice wines. Win."

Think of everything, I do

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls

I could hide in the bushes and wait for one to be separated from the pack. This is a great idea.

You’re in the lead so far. "

Thank you, it does sound better than me offering to dye my hair grey

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Try Majestic Wines. There always seem to be a fair few in there whenever I've been in.

Wednesday is the day... after 2 but before 5.45.

Let me know how it goes?

I suppose if I tied their laces together they wouldn’t be able to run away.

I’ll give this a go. Majestic wines, Wednesdays between 1400 and 1745.

Perfect. "

Happy to help... and a full report will be expected on Thursday morning

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need a bigger net, sit at the end of the booze aisle, maybe you aren't waiting long enough?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie Hants OP Woman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls

I could hide in the bushes and wait for one to be separated from the pack. This is a great idea.

You’re in the lead so far.

Thank you, it does sound better than me offering to dye my hair grey

Not grey grey. The salt and pepper look.

If you see a big net come out of nowhere mind you’re business and don’t panic.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you tried the garden centre

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie Hants OP Woman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"You need a bigger net, sit at the end of the booze aisle, maybe you aren't waiting long enough?"

You’re right to call me out. I’m not fully committed. Ill stick it out next time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

I could 'borrow' Sam Tender and get him ripped on some nice wine?

(Again)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You need a bigger net, sit at the end of the booze aisle, maybe you aren't waiting long enough?

You’re right to call me out. I’m not fully committed. Ill stick it out next time. "

I will help you, I'll wear a disguise and give you the signal when I see one and you can pounce

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Masonic Lodge in my town has a convenient little alleyway next to the main entrance where you could loiter most comfortably. You could even get 2 in your net at once as they'd be too distracted with their secret handshake thingy to see you coming.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

You're Shangri-la will probably be your local library. They are often found there, deftly perusing the bookshelves amongst the moth-eaten copies of food and wine, next to the lifestyle magazines.

They are a dying breed.

Libraries are a thing of the past, sadly. Hence why they thrive there.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie Hants OP Woman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"I could 'borrow' Sam Tender and get him ripped on some nice wine?

(Again)

That sounds like an excellent idea.

Additionally, can I ask where you can be found between 1400 and 1745 on Wednesdays.

Many thanks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls

I could hide in the bushes and wait for one to be separated from the pack. This is a great idea.

You’re in the lead so far.

Thank you, it does sound better than me offering to dye my hair grey

Not grey grey. The salt and pepper look.

If you see a big net come out of nowhere mind you’re business and don’t panic. "

Well now I'm all panicked

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Maybe the Harrods food isle if you want someone classy. Though it’s a bit much to take all and give nothing isn’t it ?

Good luck with your quest

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie Hants OP Woman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"The Masonic Lodge in my town has a convenient little alleyway next to the main entrance where you could loiter most comfortably. You could even get 2 in your net at once as they'd be too distracted with their secret handshake thingy to see you coming."

Why didn’t I think of this! You’re a genius.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie Hants OP Woman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"You need a bigger net, sit at the end of the booze aisle, maybe you aren't waiting long enough?

You’re right to call me out. I’m not fully committed. Ill stick it out next time.

I will help you, I'll wear a disguise and give you the signal when I see one and you can pounce "

I really appreciate this. Women supporting women. We love to see it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

"I could 'borrow' Sam Tender and get him ripped on some nice wine?

(Again)

That sounds like an excellent idea.

Additionally, can I ask where you can be found between 1400 and 1745 on Wednesdays.

Many thanks. "

You can, but I'm going to have to lawyer up first.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could do a classic basket and stick on a rope trap with a nice juicy steak?

Or the "ooh, a piece of candy" trap from Family Guy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

If you're willing to swith from wine to real ale, join a classic car club and you'll be knee deep in whatever he silver fox equivalent of clunge is...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie Hants OP Woman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"You could do a classic basket and stick on a rope trap with a nice juicy steak?

Or the "ooh, a piece of candy" trap from Family Guy

I’ve tried both of these and yet it always backfires. Stick of being trapped in my own basket.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Polo shirts are like catnip to the older geezer - is there a Hackett outlet store near you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ickyRoosterMan
over a year ago

Uppendown

Crown Green Bowling is what you need. There's a bowling club by me and they're always shouting, quite boastfully, "Good wood Sir".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"Maybe the Harrods food isle if you want someone classy. Though it’s a bit much to take all and give nothing isn’t it ?

Good luck with your quest "

It's all fur coat and no knickers that place now. Fortnums is the place now AND it allows you to drink glasses of wine as you wait.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve nothing to add, but finding this thread rather amusing. You may not find your silver fox but you made me internally chuckle…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You could do a classic basket and stick on a rope trap with a nice juicy steak?

Or the "ooh, a piece of candy" trap from Family Guy

I’ve tried both of these and yet it always backfires. Stick of being trapped in my own basket. "

I've found the trick is to put something you don't like under the basket.

Or you could always wait until they get in their car and follow them home

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie Hants OP Woman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"I’ve nothing to add, but finding this thread rather amusing. You may not find your silver fox but you made me internally chuckle…"

Bingo

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ob Carpe DiemMan
over a year ago

Torquay

You could try raising your age range on FAB, 49 ain't gonna cut it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Older. Didn’t you see there was a thread saying that you should date younger?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm going shopping tomorrow

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

i am a silver fox but to old for you,,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

You could have a look through the middle aged and lonely thread. Don't think you'll even need your net!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie Hants OP Woman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"Older. Didn’t you see there was a thread saying that you should date younger? "

I quite like a salt and peppered hair man with a dreamy smile, jawline that could cut glass, tall with broad shoulders who can do that thing where they roll up their sleeves three quarters, throw one arm around the passenger seat while reverse parking. I ask for so little Steve.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Have you tried pretending you're better than all of it? Apparently smugness is hot

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie Hants OP Woman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"Have you tried pretending you're better than all of it? Apparently smugness is hot "

I have resting smug face. It’s getting me nowhere, swing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't forget b&q Wednesday 10%off for oap good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Try the viagra aisle.

Try this.

Hold a box of viagra aloft and shout "Silver Daddy wanted. Come and get your special pills and be mine".

I’m just about beginning my way down Silver Avenue, and I can say that if you swapped the blue pills for Voltarol, you’d be on to a winner

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve nothing to add, but finding this thread rather amusing. You may not find your silver fox but you made me internally chuckle…

Bingo "
the only thing you're doing wrong is you need to shop in North Wales, I won't put up much of a struggle. I'll even dye my hair grey if it helps

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"I’ve nothing to add, but finding this thread rather amusing. You may not find your silver fox but you made me internally chuckle…"

It made me laugh too Jamie

all of the silver foxes seem to have disappeared

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orthmanMan
over a year ago

Kendal

Can I recommend the cataract clinic? I have had both mine done over the last few months at the tender age of 60. Almost all of the other punters were in their early seventies at the youngest. You would have the advantage that they probably wouldn't be able to see the net as long as you caught them on the way in.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * U mineMan
over a year ago

Fun

"I am trying to find an attractive, witty and somewhat intelligent older gentleman. Not old old but the silver fox type.

Ideally we can spend the odd evening now and then drinking excellent wine that he will pick (I have a limited knowledge on wines), having excellent sex, and hopefully he will absolutely adore me.

In return I can offer nothing.

I’ve been loitering up and down the booze aisles but I never seem to be able to catch one. I have a large net waiting to grab one when I see one but they seem pretty elusive.

Does anyone know where I’m going wrong? "
I always return my empties, if you ask my advice on wine, don't return the empties , you get F all thanks.

I never had sex with anyone from the wine aisle but would if you have a lingering bouquet Mmmm.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * U mineMan
over a year ago

Fun

"You could have a look through the middle aged and lonely thread. Don't think you'll even need your net!

Just a hook without the worm.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk

There are plenty of gents here that meet none of your criteria and will let you down in everyway possible but have the salt and pepper you are looking for

Have fun!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Older. Didn’t you see there was a thread saying that you should date younger?

So little. Yet men still manage to disappoint.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Why has no-one suggested the Post Office in the mornings? Pension collections.....

Amateurs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

"I am trying to find an attractive, witty and somewhat intelligent older gentleman. Not old old but the silver fox type.

Ideally we can spend the odd evening now and then drinking excellent wine that he will pick (I have a limited knowledge on wines), having excellent sex, and hopefully he will absolutely adore me.

In return I can offer nothing.

I’ve been loitering up and down the booze aisles but I never seem to be able to catch one. I have a large net waiting to grab one when I see one but they seem pretty elusive.

Does anyone know where I’m going wrong? "

We can help if you don't mind him being part of a couple.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls

I could hide in the bushes and wait for one to be separated from the pack. This is a great idea.

You’re in the lead so far. "

Yeah, but you'll only get an old lame one. Look for one that can still carry a full set of clubs.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie Hants OP Woman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls

I could hide in the bushes and wait for one to be separated from the pack. This is a great idea.

You’re in the lead so far.

Yeah, but you'll only get an old lame one. Look for one that can still carry a full set of clubs."

How can you treat a lame dilf? Do you just leave them out in the field for a few months?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you feel about golf? I'm sure there's a club around somewhere where they're playing with their club and balls

I could hide in the bushes and wait for one to be separated from the pack. This is a great idea.

You’re in the lead so far.

Yeah, but you'll only get an old lame one. Look for one that can still carry a full set of clubs.

How can you treat a lame dilf? Do you just leave them out in the field for a few months? "

A few grams of lead behind the ear. It's the kindest way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

You could try Monday morning at the post office.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isCockHerTailCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

My wife was commenting only earlier how the grey that is coming into my beard is making me look more handsome as I stood there with with rolled up short sleeves.

It must be a look.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

Simple solution.

Change your age preference to 99 and all the old men will find you, the world then is your oyster.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh, you need to join a local rambler's association. You'll find fit and healthy older gentlemen there.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

"I am trying to find an attractive, witty and somewhat intelligent older gentleman. Not old old but the silver fox type.

Ideally we can spend the odd evening now and then drinking excellent wine that he will pick (I have a limited knowledge on wines), having excellent sex, and hopefully he will absolutely adore me.

In return I can offer nothing.

I’ve been loitering up and down the booze aisles but I never seem to be able to catch one. I have a large net waiting to grab one when I see one but they seem pretty elusive.

Does anyone know where I’m going wrong? "

Attractive, witty and somewhat intelligent, all subjective, I feel I qualify though.

Older gentleman. Tick.

You lost me at silver fox.

Winston

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uck-RogersMan
over a year ago

Tarka trail

Add 20 to the 49 and I may qualify

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innocentMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton

The higher the number printed next to the % symbol, is all you need to know about choosing a good wine

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I’ve nothing to add, but finding this thread rather amusing. You may not find your silver fox but you made me internally chuckle…

Bingo "

That's the place to go

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

I do not go to Majestic wines

. Do go to asda wine aisles though

. Perhaps thats where I am going wrong

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

You could set up a swap shop on here...

I have a silver fox you can borrow

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread