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"I joined a vanilla social club and meet for regular drinks, walks and meals. Made some good friends and takes the edge of the boredom " Sounds good - where did you find the info on that? | |||
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"I joined a vanilla social club and meet for regular drinks, walks and meals. Made some good friends and takes the edge of the boredom Sounds good - where did you find the info on that? " A local facebook group | |||
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"As a singleton whose friends are either married, partnered, parents etc.. and generally (rightfully) getting on with the pleasures of life, I find I spend a lot of time alone. I’m happy with me and my own company but like most humans I often feel lonely and lack the magic that comes from meaningful companionship. Anyone else around my age feel like this and if so how (if at all) do you approach it? M Every time I feel like I’m missing out is balanced by times I appreciate the freedom I have. " Ha can relate to that 100% | |||
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"There have been studies regarding this phenomenon, I believe it’s called ‘men of a certain age’. Basically guys that are single, want to be sociable but are excluded because others distrust them, whether it’s single women who think that they’ll try to hit on them, other guys that think they’ll make a move on their wives or dislike the competitive aspect of single guys company. It’s a whole thing. It’s much, much harder for men in middle age to make friends. Try to join groups, activities aimed at inclusion and social events, that’s the best way to find others" Yes this is interesting- I wondered about this sort of thing but couldn’t put it into the words you have. Thanks - I agree re joining groups. I’ll have a look around and so what is available. Cheers | |||
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"I get you on this… I am single with kids so I’m very rarely on my own, plenty of friends and a fairly active social life. But I do miss having that one person who is a constant in my life and by god I miss cuddles and hugs. As for coping I go to the gym a lot, listen to music, hang out with my kids & friends etc and I stay positive that one day my ‘person’ will appear!" Yes this is it. I feel very positive about my life and it’s trajectory - I think the loneliness stems from a desire to share that with somebody. It’s the little things you mention… M | |||
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"I get you on this… I am single with kids so I’m very rarely on my own, plenty of friends and a fairly active social life. But I do miss having that one person who is a constant in my life and by god I miss cuddles and hugs. As for coping I go to the gym a lot, listen to music, hang out with my kids & friends etc and I stay positive that one day my ‘person’ will appear! Yes this is it. I feel very positive about my life and it’s trajectory - I think the loneliness stems from a desire to share that with somebody. It’s the little things you mention… M" Absolutely, you can have friends & family around you but still feel lonely! There is something unique about being part of a partnership that can’t be replicated with friends etc… it’s the snuggles on the sofa, sitting with someone in comfortable silence, tactile touches etc.. I live in hope! | |||
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"I joined a vanilla social club and meet for regular drinks, walks and meals. Made some good friends and takes the edge of the boredom " "I joined a vanilla social club and meet for regular drinks, walks and meals. Made some good friends and takes the edge of the boredom " Firstly, thanks for starting this thread op, a bit like you the rest of my life is good, the exception is my down time. My friends all live miles away so my free time is just me, I mean I'm pretty bloody marvellous really, but even I get bored of me Second, thank you Vanilla for pointing this out, I never knew these groups even existed. I've just found one near me and booked myself on to a coffee afternoon next month. Who knows what will happen, but it's nice to be able to put something in the diary to look forward to Thank you both | |||
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"Not feeling lonely at all. Probably because I have hobbies, work I like and kids 50% of the time. It’s vice versa sometimes I struggle to find free slot to meet new people (including from this site) So my suggestion to OP, get hobby and join social events related to it. You’ll find a company in no time." Cheers. Yes I have hobbies (golf, the gym, walking etc..) - but don't do much social around any of them. Perhaps that could/should change. | |||
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"Not feeling lonely at all. Probably because I have hobbies, work I like and kids 50% of the time. It’s vice versa sometimes I struggle to find free slot to meet new people (including from this site) So my suggestion to OP, get hobby and join social events related to it. You’ll find a company in no time. Cheers. Yes I have hobbies (golf, the gym, walking etc..) - but don't do much social around any of them. Perhaps that could/should change. " Are you a member of a Golf Club OP? If not you should think of finding one to join. Despite my post earlier, my Club is the one place that I’m never lonely, always someone to play with snd the 19th after a round at the weekend is always entertaining! | |||
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"There have been studies regarding this phenomenon, I believe it’s called ‘men of a certain age’. Basically guys that are single, want to be sociable but are excluded because others distrust them, whether it’s single women who think that they’ll try to hit on them, other guys that think they’ll make a move on their wives or dislike the competitive aspect of single guys company. It’s a whole thing. It’s much, much harder for men in middle age to make friends. Try to join groups, activities aimed at inclusion and social events, that’s the best way to find others" That's the same for single women too, obviously in reverse. | |||
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"I get you on this… I am single with kids so I’m very rarely on my own, plenty of friends and a fairly active social life. But I do miss having that one person who is a constant in my life and by god I miss cuddles and hugs. As for coping I go to the gym a lot, listen to music, hang out with my kids & friends etc and I stay positive that one day my ‘person’ will appear! Yes this is it. I feel very positive about my life and it’s trajectory - I think the loneliness stems from a desire to share that with somebody. It’s the little things you mention… M Absolutely, you can have friends & family around you but still feel lonely! There is something unique about being part of a partnership that can’t be replicated with friends etc… it’s the snuggles on the sofa, sitting with someone in comfortable silence, tactile touches etc.. I live in hope! " I can relate to this. | |||
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"As a singleton whose friends are either married, partnered, parents etc.. and generally (rightfully) getting on with the pleasures of life, I find I spend a lot of time alone. I’m happy with me and my own company but like most humans I often feel lonely and lack the magic that comes from meaningful companionship. Anyone else around my age feel like this and if so how (if at all) do you approach it? M" I have a dog. Best companion ever. | |||
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"Esther Rantzen says she defines loneliness as, despite having people to do things with, it is having nobody to do nothing with, that is lonely. " As the parent of a child with special needs, with a husband who completely ignores us and lives the life of a house mate, no close friends nearby, hardly any free time and no social life… yes, I feel lonely and have for over 10 years. | |||
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"There have been studies regarding this phenomenon, I believe it’s called ‘men of a certain age’. Basically guys that are single, want to be sociable but are excluded because others distrust them, whether it’s single women who think that they’ll try to hit on them, other guys that think they’ll make a move on their wives or dislike the competitive aspect of single guys company. It’s a whole thing. It’s much, much harder for men in middle age to make friends. Try to join groups, activities aimed at inclusion and social events, that’s the best way to find others" Is there a difference between the sexes in this? I get the impression that men seem to suffer with this particular type of loneliness more. Women generally seem to have more friends than men and make friends more easily, social groups seem to cater more for women; are these fair observations? | |||
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"I miss having someone who is interested in my day, not just the big events but the mundane everyday things. Sounds silly but even just someone to say "good morning" or goodnight" too x" What she said ^^^ | |||
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"Since moving in with my elderly father as full time carer I am very rarely alone but nearly always lonely. Its shite really but hey ho" Sorry to hear that. Are there any carers support groups in your area? | |||
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"Since moving in with my elderly father as full time carer I am very rarely alone but nearly always lonely. Its shite really but hey ho Sorry to hear that. Are there any carers support groups in your area?" I'm getting to the stage were it would be helpful not sure what help it would be though but will start to look into it thanks for the advice | |||
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"Since moving in with my elderly father as full time carer I am very rarely alone but nearly always lonely. Its shite really but hey ho Sorry to hear that. Are there any carers support groups in your area? I'm getting to the stage were it would be helpful not sure what help it would be though but will start to look into it thanks for the advice " It genuinely helps just to talk to someone or get out for a cup of coffee. I helped my dad care for my mum, I was lucky I could go home to my husband but he was on duty 24/7. I used to sit with my mum while he went out and he always came back refreshed. If you have the resources you might consider respite care too. | |||
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"Since moving in with my elderly father as full time carer I am very rarely alone but nearly always lonely. Its shite really but hey ho Sorry to hear that. Are there any carers support groups in your area? I'm getting to the stage were it would be helpful not sure what help it would be though but will start to look into it thanks for the advice It genuinely helps just to talk to someone or get out for a cup of coffee. I helped my dad care for my mum, I was lucky I could go home to my husband but he was on duty 24/7. I used to sit with my mum while he went out and he always came back refreshed. If you have the resources you might consider respite care too. " Thing is I'm not really providing physical care its more about just being there if you get my drift. He is not that bad physically for his age apart from balance issues but after my mam passed a few years ago he just feels like he needs me here all the time and I feel guilty when I can't ie shopping. I feel a good conversation between us would help but we are both emotional blokes and would be an argument followed by more understanding. On the whole its not that bad just me really feeling it at the moment. Being selfish it makes the chance of meetings almost impossible | |||
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"I joined a vanilla social club and meet for regular drinks, walks and meals. Made some good friends and takes the edge of the boredom I joined a vanilla social club and meet for regular drinks, walks and meals. Made some good friends and takes the edge of the boredom Firstly, thanks for starting this thread op, a bit like you the rest of my life is good, the exception is my down time. My friends all live miles away so my free time is just me, I mean I'm pretty bloody marvellous really, but even I get bored of me Second, thank you Vanilla for pointing this out, I never knew these groups even existed. I've just found one near me and booked myself on to a coffee afternoon next month. Who knows what will happen, but it's nice to be able to put something in the diary to look forward to Thank you both " Pleasure treasure x | |||
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"Since moving in with my elderly father as full time carer I am very rarely alone but nearly always lonely. Its shite really but hey ho Sorry to hear that. Are there any carers support groups in your area? I'm getting to the stage were it would be helpful not sure what help it would be though but will start to look into it thanks for the advice It genuinely helps just to talk to someone or get out for a cup of coffee. I helped my dad care for my mum, I was lucky I could go home to my husband but he was on duty 24/7. I used to sit with my mum while he went out and he always came back refreshed. If you have the resources you might consider respite care too. Thing is I'm not really providing physical care its more about just being there if you get my drift. He is not that bad physically for his age apart from balance issues but after my mam passed a few years ago he just feels like he needs me here all the time and I feel guilty when I can't ie shopping. I feel a good conversation between us would help but we are both emotional blokes and would be an argument followed by more understanding. On the whole its not that bad just me really feeling it at the moment. Being selfish it makes the chance of meetings almost impossible " I don't think you're being selfish | |||
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